erase me [closed for lil rippy]

As she raced further and further from Thunderclan's camp, the she-cat felt as if she could feel the trees themselves mocking her. Wind whispered softly through the leaves, cascading about an echoing shush that Kitefire could not help but feel was directed at her. Instinctively, the former warrior's head tipped every which way in a futile attempt to decipher the vague nonsense whipping about through the air. Panic rose in her chest and a wild lack of belonging seemed to ripple through her pelt.

Kitefire of Thunderclan was now Kitefire of no clan.

Her paws held no true semblance of direction but her heart tugged her towards Sunningrocks, Riverclan territory, and Jayshriek. Then, the lone cat would be able to stop a seemingly fruitless pursuit of nothing. Questions knotted and twisted in her mind, a growing uncertainty. It was possible that Riverclan would want nothing to do with her and Ivystar would turn her away. The idea only further spurred her onwards. Such things could not go unanswered. Kitefire would not stop running until she found... something.

A faint rustle caused her to stop dead in her tracks, likely a mousebrained move. The figure of a cat materialized shortly after. Recognition washed over her and she hissed, "Waterpaw. What are you doing out here?" Internally, she answered her own question in an instant. There was a patrol out. How stupid she had been to not watch where she was going.

Waterpaw walked with the others in the hunting patrol.  They walked farther out until they were able to find a place where a lot of prey hide.  She walked around.  Another rabbit was right in front of her.  Again she stalked the fairly large white creature.  Slowly, slowly, she walked forward.  She was in a good hunting stance.  There should be nothing that could go wrong, she was right about to catch it.  There should be no way she could fail... and yet she found a way.  She jumped forward, but apparently she thought that the animal was closer than it was.  She jumped forward and was able to give the rabbit a small scratch, staining it's white fur with a little red.  It quickly hopped forward.  She tried to follow it, but it quickly lost it.  She stomped her paw on the ground and grunted.

Then she heard pawsteps.  It sounded big enough to be a cat.  She walked through the bush to see who it was and was surprised to find that it was not someone from hunting patrol.  "Hi, Kitefire!" She said.  She wanted to spend more time with the family members she had left, so she was happy to see her sister.

She asked Waterpaw what she was doing there.  "I'm on a hunting patrol!"  She said excitedly.  "You can join if you want to, I'm sure no one would mind."  Then she noticed how nervous and upset her sister looked.  She swallowed.  She expression changed to a concerned look.  "Um, what are you doing here?"

The cheery nature of the apprentice caused her stomach to churn. Little did Waterpaw know, this was not a meeting of good fortune on any front. It appeared that her hiss was not telling enough, nor that tail that lashed behind her. This young cat was still filled with the hopefulness of ignorance. Many moons ago, Kitefire had been privy to such a thing as well; although, she couldn't tell if it had truly begun to die away after the revelation of the tom who sired her, or maybe the death of the brother that understood her. Regardless, it only further pressed on her mind that this place was one that haunted her past. Despite her greatest attempts, the former warrior had become the very thing that she swore not to be. Maybe she was doomed from the start, maybe it was a disaster of her own design.

Either way, in this moment, she had to face Waterpaw.

She and the apprentice had spent little time together despite the fragile threads that bound them together. Cedarheart had raised Waterpaw as her own. Even in the wake of the queen's own devastating decisions, one that impacted her few remaining kits, Kitefire's mother had always been good to them and raised them well. It was a warm and comforting thought to entertain for a brief moment. The long-forgotten peace of being tucked at the velvet stomach of the Thunderclan cat washed over her and slowed the heaving of her sides. She noticed that Waterpaw had begun to recognize the abnormality of the circumstances. Although they had little in the way of forged bonds, in some sense, this younger cat was her sister. Guilt gnawed at her belly as for the first time she began to truly consider what she was leaving behind. An image of Shrikesong flashed in her concious.

"Listen, Waterpaw..." She swallowed, pressing her pads into the ground, "I owe you much more than I will ever be able to give but take this one piece of advice: cats wandering the territory alone at night are often not up to anything good." The she-cat's gaze grew dark and she drew back a pace. There would never be the right thing to say and dwelling on it for too long would certainly dredge up countless things that were better not to feel in this moment, "I'm no longer a warrior of Thunderclan. Minkstream will tell everyone soon enough I'm sure." Kitefire narrowed her eyes into curious slits, seeking to hide her own swirling emotions, while also striving to pick apart the reaction of the younger cat.

Waterpaw deserved this moment, at the very least, it would be the single thing Kitefire would spare for her amid this abounding selfishness.

Waterpaw was silent at first, waiting for Kitefire to respond.  Winds flew around them and through her fur, changing the directions every few seconds.  She listened well when Kitefire told her the piece of advice.  She was confused, but she knew one thing for certain, something was definitely wrong.  Waterpaw's eyes filled with concern and her expression holding some sort of confused sadness.  Something was happening and something seemed wrong.  Something... but what was it.

Then Kitefire told her.  Waterpaw wondered what had happened.  While she was focusing on trying to become a warrior, apparently something was happening.  If only she would have spent more time with the family she was taken into, maybe she could have helped.  So much had happened.  Waterpaw knew that some of Cedarheart's kits had died.  And, while, Cedarheart herself did to.  A quick rushing wave of sadness came over her as she thought about the dead warrior.  She had only known Cedarheart for a few moons and still felt an emptiness when she died.  She bet Kitefire felt so much more.  Waterpaw knew what it was like to loose parents, but she did not have any biological siblings.  The one's that she had when adopted she wasn't super close to.  She could see the pain that Kitefire felt... she knew what it was like.  But even so, not exactly.  That could be part of it, but that could not be the only thing.  There needed to be more.  There needed to be a reason why Minkstream would have her leave.

"Where are you going?"  She asked finally.  "If you're not a Thunderclan warrior, who did you decide to be?"

She expected something much more visceral in response to the fact that she was abandoning her clan, perhaps a yowl, or even an exclamation of disbelief. Instead, what Kitefire received, was the prying innocence of youth. It wasn't even a demanding question, or one that begged something of her. The she-cat's breathing slowed and for a moment, no response budded up onto the back of her tongue. Kitefire was stunned by the response of this apprentice that she had never gotten to know. Regret dried the back of her throat and scathed it like relentless claws. In another lifetime, they would have grown as sisters - kin and clanmates. That ideal was but a fanciful dream.

"I'm not sure yet."

It was all she could bring herself to say as a sadness crept into her gaze. This certainly wouldn't be the last time that she considered life in Thunderclan but the former warrior vowed in that moment it would be her mission to not dwell on such things. Even entertaining this brief encounter with Waterpaw threatened to render the weary sinew of her muscle entirely useless. She was contented to give into the sensation and stay rooted stiff as a tree until the end of time. But the late night wind whipped through the trees and coerced her onwards into the night. This was no place to stay.

"I need you to do something for me. I know it's a lot but..." Kitefire swallowed, steeling herself away for what was to come, "Tell Shrikesong that I'm gone, before the clan knows. She deserves that much. And, uh, look after each other, okay? Promise me, Waterpaw. I need to know that you'll both be okay."

There was no speaking between the two of them for a moment.  The birds sung and the sounds of tiny steps from prey was there as always, but no talking.  The question seemed to leave her sister speechless for a moment as Waterpaw just looked at her with a concerned and caring look.

Finally, Kitefire answered.  It was not an answer that Waterpaw would have wanted to hear however.  Her sister didn't have a plan for where she was going nor who she wanted to be.  Unfortunate for Kitefire.  This made Waterpaw know that she was making a quick decision, one that she would probably regret.  Quick decisions were good at times, but not when making life changing choices.  "I see..." she said slowly.

She was about to say more when the older she-cat asked for a favor.  This Waterpaw did not need to think about long.  Her and Shrikesong knew each other fairly well.  At least, more than she knew other cats at this point.  "Of course I'll tell her."  She said.  "And I promise I'll look after her.  I cannot speak for her though."

She looked at Kitefire with a serious look in her eye.  "I know you need to go... I'm sure your reason is good and I won't try to stop you but... Can you come back for a moment sometime?  I'm sure Shrikesong would like to know that your okay and so would I.  Even if it's moons from now, it would be nice to know what you'll decide to do.  So, could you just come back to say hi sometime.  Please?"