New Every Morning (closed)

Sablepaw found herself idly batting a piece of moss outside the elder's den. A stiff, dusty-smelling piece of moss. I, She thought as she stared down at it, kicking it from paw to paw and gradually moving towards the camp's entrance, am bored out of my mind.

That felt like a sin, just a little. The birds tweeting to the joys of a hesitantly blooming New-leaf seemed to berate her, their calls echoing through the rocky walls making their broken way above her to the blue mid-morning sky. I shouldn't be bored now that we're free. Beecloud... Beecloud died for that. Maybe that was why she was bored out of her mind. Chores had been more interesting when her mentor had been around to give advice and sometimes even pitch in. And Ferretnose had been... happier. Apprenticeship had lost its sparkle.

She punted a vaguely zigzagging path to the camp's entrance, feeling a little as if she'd lost some kind of anchor, a vital piece of who she'd been. Aimless. Minkstream said she was almost ready to become a warrior, but that.... I... how would I even know what to do? For so long, her life had been given meaning by other cats telling her who she was and what she should do. A sigh escaped her maw, and she paused at the sound of pawsteps, letting her thoughts get dragged away from their meandering path as she glanced up.

After the clans had been liberated from the Asylum's grasp, everything seemed to have started calming down again. That didn't mean that what happened would be forgotten any time soon. Kestrelpaw wanted to shove all those memories into the back of his mind but it was hard. He wanted to move on but he couldn't. The only solace he had was his family. He loved each and every one of them with his entire being. He cared for them very much and it was difficult to see how... different they had all become. It wasn't a good kind of different either. They were all rather gloomy and Kestrel hated it. He certainly didn't blame them, though. After all that had happened, it would be rather hard to keep up their spirits.

Lately, the brown tabby tom had been rather worried for his father. Something was off about him. It frustrated him to no end that he couldn't pinpoint what it was. He couldn't remember when it had started either. The apprentice took pride in his ability to read others but it seemed like his ability wasn't as reliable as he'd hoped. Instead of dwelling any further with the topic, he busied himself with camp chores. It was just like he used to... kind of. It just didn't feel the same any more. Nothing did. He just couldn't concentrate on his tasks. There was too much on his mind that he simply couldn't shake away. For the first time, Kestrel decided to drop his duties in favor of seeking someone to talk to.

That didn't take long, though, since he spotted Sable not too far from where he'd been. However, instead of swiftly walking up to her, he refused to budge an inch. Instead, he tilted his head in a pondering way, a small frown taking residence on his face. Even from where he stood the tom could tell that something wasn't right. This time, however, he knew why. The apprentice didn't falter any more and with haste, he went to meet with her.

"Sablepaw? Are you doing okay? Do you want to talk about it?" Kestrelpaw asked his sister softly once he had reached her side, an understanding glint in his deep green gaze. He was very aware that she wasn't doing well. He was just trying to gently coax her into talking. She couldn't be okay. Not after... not after Beecloud's death. Kestrel hadn't interacted much with the tom but he knew just how much Bee meant to a lot of his clanmates. Beecloud had meant a lot to Sablepaw. He had been her mentor. With him gone, Sable was probably no longer feeling the allure of apprenticeship. It was very hard to see his sister looking so unhappy and unmotivated. Right then and there, he decided to take it upon himself to hopefully brighten her up. It was what a good brother should do.

Her gaze met that of her brother, and she blinked, his green eyes - always so wise and mature - meeting hers with understanding as his soft question broke the quiet. For a moment she stood mutely, her tail trailing the ground, her eyes drifting down to the dusty mossball, her paw batting purposelessly at it. An odd kind of empty rose in her heart, echoing and broken, like the walls of the ravine scarring the ground. Her maw opened, the emotion cutting off her voice - a lump in her throat now that the floodgates were opened. When her voice did break through, it was a quiet whisper. "I... miss him."

She could remember his voice, his words encouraging her when she'd felt she was worthless and couldn't do anything. When she'd been terrified to fight that dog. And the first time she'd ever hunted.... He'd been her mentor, like an uncle, like a part of her family to complete the picture of them all. They'd been so different if you looked at them, but go a little deeper and it had been that difference that connected them - mentor and apprentice.

And now it was just apprentice.

Her eyes came back up again, a hint of wet glimmering in the corners. "Wasn't everything supposed to work out...?"

Ah. So his assumptions and observations were correct. Kerath felt a pang of sadness stir within his chest. He hated seeing any of his family members in a state like this. The tom wasted no time in shuffling closer to his sister and repositioned himself until he was shoulder to shoulder with her. He pressed gently against her to giver her comfort and to keep her grounded. "I know you do," he began in a soft tone, "He was your mentor, probably more like a close friend or even family. From what I've heard and seen, he'd been such a great tom, an honorable warrior with a big heart and limitless wisdom. Beecloud was somebody that anyone could look up to. Him not being here anymore affected so many, but his sacrifice was not in vain. Perhaps he even saw it as necessary. He loved his clan more than anything. He loved you, his apprentice, and was willing to do whatever it took to bring back our freedom and bring down the Asylum once and for all. He planned everything out and made sure that the best possible outcome was made true. From how I see it, everything did work out. We're all free to resume our old lives, free to resume our traditions. However, I'm not saying that all this didn't come with a heavy price. Many other cats have died throughout the Asylum's reign over the clans. I'm sure Beecloud wouldn't want us to disregard all the others in favor of him. We need to strive forward and learn from our mistakes. Let's not waste the chance of freedom they gave us and let's better ourselves to be stronger in every sense of the word...." Kestrelpaw took in a deep breath and let it out, green gaze shifting away from where he'd been randomly staring at. He never thought he'd ever give consolation or advice like this. He didn't think he had it in him but perhaps he'd been wrong...

The brown tabby turned his head to look at the figure beside him. He offered her a warm smile and a loving nudge. "Sablepaw, Beecloud will always be with you no matter what happens and no matter where you are. He'll be in here," the apprentice softly prodded Lirista's chest with a paw, "In there," Kestrel then gently knocked his head against his sister's, "And up there among the most honorable of cats." The tom motioned to the sky above. He then gave a wistful smile. "Perhaps he'll even visit you in a dream... He believed in you so much, put his faith in you. You should make him proud and be the best you you can be... and when you're finally being given your warrior name, I'm sure he'll be cheering you on from StarClan, as will the rest of us. I'm certain that he wouldn't miss it for anything." The tabby nuzzled Sablepaw and had her look him in the eyes before continuing, "So, dear sister of mine, keep your head held high and never forget that he's always there to guide you. Never forget you have so many others for you to confide in. Never forget that you're never alone... Never forget that there wouldn't be anything that I wouldn't do for you..."

Her brother's warmth quietly moved to press against her side; something brokenly, beautifully comforting in having someone else to lean against. She found herself tearing up as she pressed back, listening to his voice speak softly above her. How... how could he say these things? How did he know so well what to say? Her heart was flayed bare, everything she'd thought and every tear somehow ringing with an echoing light, highlighted.

Her head came up, catching his smile beyond the blurring in her eyes as he nudged her. They were free because of Beecloud, but now there was no Beecloud to share that freedom; he'd left his mate, his kits, and his apprentice behind on that bloodstained clearing where the stars and the moon shone down....

"Sablepaw, Beecloud will always be with you no matter what happens and no matter where you are. He'll be in here,"

Her thoughts jolted as Kerath prodded her chest fur, his words demanding attention. It felt... it felt as if she'd heard that before, almost. A passing memory of a large paw with a few extra toes landing with a soft snap on a twig - her small heart beating in her chest echoing the sound. "Not there."

"In there," Softly, her brother bonked her head with his own, and a wavering, watery smile grew on her maw. A patch of rustling ferns that lightly-coloured paw brushed against. All her sorrow welling her eyes, the echoing loss of memories she brought up - ones that sang with a golden light, and then turned to a whine of emptiness, for they wouldn't live again. "Not there either."

"And up there among the most honorable of cats."

Her wide blue eyes followed his motion, reflecting the sky above, heart beating in her chest. Almost, for a moment, she thought she could see faint pinpricks of light behind the blue. The paw touched a patch of soft moss, that whisper trembling the air again. "Here."

Her brother's warm words echoed that sentiment, a flicker of hope lighting in her chest; somehow seeming to drive back the wetness of tears on her cheeks. That hope somehow seemed to blaze brighter, rather than waning again, Kerath's soft nuzzle bringing a slightly brighter smile, a spark of light back to her eyes as he held hers. "I- I will," She whispered. "I won't forget."

Fiercely headbutting him and burying her face in his fur, she added, her voice muffled slightly, "But you and Mum and Dad and Daris and Murr better not leave, too. If you don't, I won't, okay?"

A glimmer of hope resonated within the young tom's very core as he watched he sister carefully. It was as clear as day that her anguish and struggles were holding her down. He didn't really think that his words would do much good but he was more than relieved that they had calmed her down somewhat. He was now more hopeful that she'd take them to heart. It was important for her to keep her head above the stormy water and to move on. She was strong but things like this can really weigh someone down. He was determined to keep his sister from drowning. He wouldn't be one to stay in the sidelines.

His already protective demeanor tripled when Sablepaw buried her face into his fur. It was a sight enough to make most cats melt. His normally clear eyes glazed over as he pressed himself further against her, as if he wanted to wrap her up and keep her warm and safe, away from any and all harm that could befall her. At her words, the tom let out a silent sigh. It was hard for him to make promises as they could easily be broken at any time. He wasn't certain what future lay ahead for them all. Nobody was truly certain. They had to roll with what life threw at them, no matter how unfair or cruel it may be. He... he just couldn't hurt her. Sablepaw was precious to him. He couldn't lie and say that they'd all be there, together forever. Life just didn't work that way. He really wanted it to be true but...

Instead of saying anything he'd regret later, the tom only snuggled closer and whispered soft and soothingly, "Oh, dear sister. My lovely Lirista. I hope you know how much I love you. If I could, I'd protect us all from the horrors and pain that come with our lives..." As he trailed off, the young tom slowly began to lick her fur, as a mother would her kit. It was comforting and peaceful just sitting there side by side. Oh StarClan... why must their lives bring so much pain?