Journey To The Past:

A lone figure wandered around and around the site of the recent battle in the middle of the night, paws silent and nimble. Experienced movements allowed her to stay relatively hidden amongst the deep shadows as she allowed her mind to be elsewhere. Despite that, there was never really a time she wasn't ready for any surprises of any kind. Call it instincts, if you will. The training that had been engraved in her since kithood came in handy plenty of times before but even more so during times like these. Times when she lost herself. When she was lost within herself. Her head was feeling heavy with the thoughts she allowed to resurface to the forefront. She often kept them locked away when in the presence of others. She often believed that showing how she really felt led to more trouble than not. The only one who has truly seen her at her worst was Thal. She was a mess. In fact, her entire existence had been a complete and utter mess and she was more than happy to finally try and find even a sliver of normalcy amidst the turmoil. However, there was one thing she desperately needed to do before she could attempt to make her wishes a reality... and it was why she was here now.


It... it was hard. Katana was aware of how hard it would be to remember by herself yet, she was determined to stand strong on her own four paws. She knew where Thalia was going to reside so she didn't have to worry of trying to find her. Just for the duration of her hunt, she'll have to push any and all thoughts of Thalia to the side. It didn't sit well with her but it had to be done. She needed to concentrate. She needed to search for her past without any interruptions. She had very, very little memories of her time before Asylum. It was all she had known. Or, at least, it was until Thalia and Roe revealed the truth. That day had been what truly broke her. It was when her whole world fell apart with no way of repairing it. Soon after, she began to dream. She didn't truly remember what it was she dreamt of but whatever they were, they often left her feeling... nostalgic. Little by little, she tried to rack her head for anything that she could remember of her past. Memories did make themselves known, however, they only came in broken, foggy snippets. It was quite frustrating. Her head often throbbed when one of them floated by at random. It didn't matter where she was or what she was doing. They were coming more often now that she was no longer under the Asylum's paws. Now that she was a... a relatively free cat, her mind was trying to desperately dispel the dense fog that muddled it. She was desperate to be able to think clearly.


It wasn't too long after when she stopped her aimless wandering. She had felt something brush her paws and it caused her to snap out of her trance. She warily looked down, hoping it wasn't someone. Sadly, it was worse. It was her old badger pelt. Another reminder of what had been done to her. Another reminder of why she was doing this. She couldn't help but curl her lip with disdain. Despite the hatred she now harbored for the Asylum, she couldn't help the pang of sadness and longing that she was feeling. That group of cats had been her family and her life for the longest time. It was what made the betrayal ever more painful. Much more. It's also why she felt shock and confusion course through her veins when she realized she had put the pelt back on. A flurry of emotions raced within her before she felt nothing. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Her exhale was shaky as she attempted to gather herself and continue her search. Yes. She was going to keep the pelt on her shoulders. At least, until she no longer felt it gave her a sense of security. She'll throw it away then. Yeah... hopefully.


Icy green eyes peered around carefully as she headed toward the edges of Fourtrees. She was getting anxious by the minute. She needed to remember something. She had started her search here since it was in the middle of most the clans' territories. If she does have a flicker of a memory, she could easily traverse to where she needs to go. It was a rather good plan... although... the memory part was kinda holding her back. So now, she felt rather... stuck. She was just going in circles, literally. The fawn-colored cat huffed as she slowly traversed the perimeter, slowly allowing herself to take in the fading scents of the clans. There was one thing she knew for sure and it made her feel the teensiest better. She knew ThunderClan hadn't been her origins. None of their faces nor their scent struck her as familiar or home. At least, she hoped it wasn't. She doubted any of them would want her there after having been one of the guards. If it truly hadn't been her past, that was one clan eliminated from her mental checklist. Only four to go... Sheesh.


From the little she knew and saw of SkyClan and it's residents, she didn't really feel that she was quite built to live there. It just... it just didn't feel right. She didn't know why but it just wasn't her. Their scent also didn't trigger any memories for her. Well, at least, she was hoping scents could trigger memories. She wasn't really sure how she could even begin to jog her mind but she was trying her hardest. The wait was making her antsy but she willed herself to hold on. She knew she needed to be patient but the thing was, she wasn't known to be a very patient cat. Things like this take time but hopefully not forever. The possibility of never finding who her past self was and where she came from frightened her. That was another reason as to why she was doing this. She hated being scared.


WindClan was another one she wasn't super sure of yet she didn't really feel it. The scent did nothing. The few faces of WindClan she'd seen also offered no help. At the rate she was going through her list, she'll be left with nothing. What if she wasn't even from the clans? What if- no! No more of that. She was surely taken from one of them. All the missing kits had been. She needed to stop jumping to conclusions. It was distracting her from the current task. She couldn't allow herself to think like this. She couldn't lose hope. There were two more left and that meant she was getting closer to finding and hopefully meeting her parents.


ShadowClan... well... she really wasn't sure if she should've even included this one. It would ultimately be the clan she'll be living in anyway. If it was her past home, she was wasting her time here. She should go to Thal and just settle down. However, despite how good that was sounding, something in her gut was telling her to keep looking. That ShadowClan wasn't it. That while it was wet, it wasn't in the correct way- wait. Hold up. Katana felt herself go rigid as her eyes glazed over with a flicker of a memory. It was foggy like most of the others yet, there was something that seemed a bit more vivid within it. That something was now much clearer than it ever was before. Water was very prevalent among most of her brief flashbacks and dreams. It was always there... That was it! The river! Her gut had been right. ShadowClan was definitely not it! The only clan left was RiverClan. It was even in the name! Katana felt excitement flow through her like the river she was about to go follow.


It was safe to say that RiverClan held the key to her past. To who she was and what had been stripped from her. Oh goodness. She was this close to meeting her parents... oh... She never really stopped to think of the cats who had raised her before she had been taken. Would she recognize them? Would she be recognized? Would they even like the cat she became? Would they accept her? Those thoughts and more began to flood her and her previous excitement was dampened. A nervous energy enveloped her as she slowly began to make her way to RiverClan's border, steps much more hesitant and wary. She knew she should've been more joyous to finally get her closure but her worries were very valid. She couldn't help but let her mind wander again as she let her paws walk her to where she needed to go. She's been going on a journey to her past but now her main objective is to truly remember and be remembered.