Let Go of the Past

Fernfeather narrowed her eyes, then widened them, as she stared out across the moor. It was easier to see where she was going with wide open eyes -- or in her case just the one -- but it was easier to keep loose grit and other particles flying in the air out of them when they were squinted. She wanted to see where she was going when she ran, but she didn't want to lose her other eye...

She gave a frustrated sigh and flicked her stubby tail in annoyance, then growled when she wasn't able to reach what was left of her tail to the ground. She loved her bushy tail, and she loved swishing it around in the wind. She couldn't do that anymore. She couldn't even run anymore without experiencing discomfort or pain because of what she did to her pads.

She was a total mess of a cat. But... Swiftstep didn't seem to think so when he pulled her away to the Lone Stump to talk a few sunrises ago. He was the first cat to really ask her if she was okay. He cared about her well-being, both physical and emotional. And... he helped her realize that she wasn't just a stumbling, tail-less, half-blind cat. She was still Fernfeather, the peppiest and most cheerful cat in WindClan. She meant it when she told him she was going to try to change her attitude, and she meant it. Perhaps she should start focusing on what she still had rather than what she lost or could lose in the future.

...Stars, she really wanted to see Swiftstep again. Warmth blossomed in her chest whenever she even thought of the kind tom, let alone see him or listen to him talk to her. She had never felt this way with any other cat before, and she was still a bit confused on what the feelings actually mean -- perhaps that's her young naïveté talking. But she really wanted to see him again.

Swiftstep was on his way to his "thinking spot." He was filled with swirling thoughts about what happened a few days ago. He had a deep pep talk with Fernfeather at the Lone stump. The tom wanted to see her happy again. He missed her great attitude. The warrior sighed with a peaceful smile. It was a nice and breezy day. Not too cold, just the right temperature. Once he was close enough, he noticed a figure that looked a bit too familiar. 'Fernfeather?' he thought to himself. What was she doing out here? He tilted his head and ran up to her. Being one of the quickest cats in Windclan, that wasn't a problem for him. "Hey Fernfeather! What are ya doing here?" he half-shouted to her.

Fernfeather looked up at Swiftstep, startled by his sudden appearance. "Oh! Hi, Swiftstep. I was just..." She sighed, then looked out at the moor again. "I kinda regret now what I did to myself. I've been feeling sorry for myself for so long, it's kinda difficult to find anything I could take joy in now. My pads are scarred to the point where I don't know if they'll heal enough for me to run again without feeling like I constantly have thorns and grit stuck in the splits of the skin. I'm no longer a good fighter, nor am I as swift a hunter as I used to be, because of my blinded eye. And I can't even keep balance anymore without a tail. It's... It's really hard finding happiness for me, no matter how hard I want to try to find it."

Swiftstep frowned as Fernfeather kept bashing herself. He stood tall and pressed himself against her in a comforting manner. "Now listen here darling! Trust me when I say this: You can be a good fighter with proper techniques to suit what you need. You can be a swift hunter again even without one of your eyes if you practice. You can learn to balance without a tail! Fernfeather, I believe that all you need is support and motivation. You can be a great warrior despite your disabilities if you tried your best! I'm sure that Featherpaw and Mottleheart can patch those pads right up!" the tom said with a warm expression. The brown warrior then nudged her with a playful purr. He wanted to lighten the sad mood. "Fernfeather,  you can find so much happiness! You have siblings that love you! Your whole clan cares for you! I care for you! You have prey to hunt and good memories to cherish. When your pads heal, you'll be able to run again! Run and feel the nice breeze in your fur. Maybe you can even join me here when you want to let your thoughts out or just want some peace and quiet. See? You can find happiness in many places if you look hard enough." Swiftstep said with a small smile at the end.

Fernfeather stayed quiet for several heartbeats. Was it true? Despite all that happened to her, did her Clan still care deeply for her? Did she truly still have a chance to be a great warrior again? "I... I..." She didn't know what to say. She truly hoped for a happier life, but was finding it really that easy as Swiftstep said?

...Swiftstep. He's done so much for her already. He's given her confidence and support when no other cat would. He was the only one who saw through her false cheer and did something about it. He truly did care about her. And she cared about him.

"I... I trust you, Swiftstep," she meowed softly. She pressed her head under his chin. "It's going to be so hard to change the way I feel. I've felt so sad and numb for so long. But I know that you will stop at nothing to make me feel whole again. So I'm willing to do my best to become the warrior I've always dreamed of being."