Fool Me Once [Tornpaw]

Beechface buried the remains of her sparrow and turned, dark eyes scanning the clearing thoughtfully. Dad was out cold, Foxfire was on his way to joining him in slumber, and she felt that it was safe to take a moment for herself outside the den. Things were calm, or as calm as they'd get for now.

She watched as a patrol made their way into camp, dropping prey onto the fresh-kill pile. Tornpaw and Copperfox were among them, and she offered her brother a tired smile as their eyes met across the clearing. He definitely seemed pleased to no longer be sleeping in the medicine den, and Beechface couldn't blame him. His injuries had healed just fine, thankfully.

Her gaze settled on Tornpaw thoughtfully. She was Dawnhawk's daughter... And she hadn't taken the news of... anything... well recently. Beechface understood to a point, though wished there was something more she could offer the apprentice. Dawnhawk's actions weren't her fault, after all. She was unfortunate to share her father's azure eyes, and Beechface could understand why Smokefeather wanted nothing to do with Tornpaw or her siblings. She didn't agree with it, but she understood.

To her though, Tornpaw was simply another clanmate.

"Hey, Tornpaw, how's training?" Beechface tried to sound cheerful, though there was a tiredness in her voice that didn't want to leave.

Tornpaw absent mindedly followed Copperfox back into the camp. Dropping whatever she had collected onto the pile along with the others.  Ever since the.. news.. the whole world became mute to her in some manner. She didn't have the energy for anything but she just dragged her feet and did what she was supposed to do. She wasn't even sure if continuing on with Skyclan is what Dawnhawk would have wanted but she pressed forward anyway. She was ready to return to the apprentice den and collapse into her nest when a call of her name caused her to pause in her paw steps.

Dull azure eyes looked around the camp before finally noticing that it was Beechface that had called her name. Anger flared inside of the young apprentice for a moment before fizzling out. It didn't matter what the medicine cat had lied about. None of it did. Dawnhawk was dead. He drowned in the river and it hurt. Before she at least had the hope of seeing him again but now? Now she couldn't even say good bye...

With a small sigh Tornpaw pushed herself closer to the medicine cat but kept her distance still. "Training is fine." She responded flatly, not even minding the forced cheerful tone Beechface had. The gold and white apprentice shifted uncomfortably not wanting to linger here with the medicine cat for too long but she didn't want to be too impolite.

The golden and white apprentice glanced in her direction, and Beechface could tell she wasn't particularly thrilled about doing so. Her response was said in a flat tone of voice, which reminded her of how Smokefeather and Foxfire had spoken after Smokefeather had lost the kits and Flowerthorn had been taken from the clan. It... made sense. Tornpaw was grieving, she'd lost her father. One of the very few in the clan who could grieve for Dawnhawk in such a way.

"Are you alright, Tornpaw?" She asked gently, "I understand I'm... probably not someone you want to talk to." Probably an understatement, Beechface thought wryly. Still, reaching out was her duty as medicine cat, and even if it wasn't, Tornpaw was a clanmate. She was family, however much Beechface might've despised her father.

No. She wanted to answer right away, but bit her tongue to hold back. She wasn't alright. Nothing was alright. Nothing had been alright ever since everyone had come home that night. Well everyone except the one who had been the most important to her.. She clinched her teeth tightly debating what to say, debating what to do.

Her mind was at war with itself. She wanted to get everything off of her chest, but.. These are the cats that wanted him dead in the first place. The ones that would celebrate she didn't need that.. She didn't need someone to make her feel worse than she already did.. But.. It broke.

The tension left her body as the apprentice let out a shaky sigh. "He.. He's dead.." She whispered, only loud enough for the medicine cat to hear. She didn't want anyone else to know. Not from her. "Ashstorm told me.. That h-he.. d-drowned.." Tornpaw didn't specify who, but Beechface probably understood who she meant.

The white and gold she-cat squeezed her azure eyes shut, trying to hold back the break down that was bubbling to the surface. She had enough of the crying, and breaking. She had done enough of that in her own time. She didn't need to do that now. She needed to be strong.. "I.. I didn't even get to say goodbye.."

And there it was. Dawnhawk was dead. Beechface had to wonder if she would've grieved for her littermate if this had all went down differently. Maybe? She honestly wasn't sure. They had never gotten along, even as kits.

If it had been her own father dead, she would have been devastated. Him being gone for the past season had been hard enough, but she'd at least gotten him back. Tornpaw would never have that chance.

"I'm sorry, truly." She mewed softly, stepping towards the white and gold apprentice and attempting to rest her fluffy tail across Tornpaw's shoulders. If she pulled away, Beechface wouldn't push her.

"He was your father, Tornpaw. Nobody deserves to lose someone they care about. I... Know he cared for you." She hadn't gotten to say goodbye... And that was Dawnhawk's own fault. Beechface knew better than to say it out loud, though. The apprentice didn't need to have her grief minimized or rubbed in her face, that most of the clan wasn't torn up about his death at all must've been hard enough for her. And that most viewed her as just Dawnhawk's daughter... It was cruel, but Beechface didn't think there was much she could do. The apprentice wasn't responsible for what her father had done, but she doubted Smokefeather and those who had been wronged would see it that way for a while.

"I know most of the clan must not seem welcoming right now. Most will only remember how they were treated, not how he cared for others. Some won't want to listen to reason, no matter how valid. Still, you're an innocent in all of this. You're allowed to grieve for him. If you ever want to talk... Or just want a shoulder to cry on, I'm here." Beechface was at a loss for anything else to say, honestly. All she could do was offer the grieving apprentice an ear.

Tornpaw didn't move. She didn't bother to shy away from the medicine cat's touch or comfort nor did she move into it either. She just sat in her spot and accepted it. Out of all the cats she didn't expect to hear remorse in Beechface's voice for the current predicament she was in.

The clan was another sore spot for her right now. The others.. Only a few cats in this clan seemed to accept her for Tornpaw and not some spawn of Dawnhawk. She didn't mind the stares but after a while it just got worse.. And to see the others celebrate his disappearance, to rub it in her face that he wasn't here in front of her without care. It sucked.. She couldn't lie and say that she hadn't contemplated running away from it all, but where would that leave her mother and her siblings? They would still see the same things..

"The looks from the clan hurt just as much.." She said softly her head hanging low. Even some of her own family hated her.

Beechface had been expecting that the young apprentice would sidestep or hiss at her for trying to comfort her. She had never been one to shy away from making her dislike of her father known, and she'd been the one to... what had Sagelight said? Rip the cobwebs off? The words definitely fit the situation here, too. Point was, Tornpaw would have had valid reasons to pull away or snap at her.

"In time, they will remember that his actions aren't a reflection on you. Until then, you are better off trying to ignore them." Or so Beechface hoped, at least. She hated that she had a very good idea of which cats were the likely candidates of what Tornpaw spoke of. As if summoned by her thoughts, she caught sight of Smokefeather's absolutely frigid stare and fixed her with an unimpressed glare. The pale tortoiseshell turned away, hackles lifted as she stalked out of camp. Get your tail together, mom. This isn't you! She wanted to yell at her mother, but that would accomplish nothing.

"Trying to talk sense into them would be like talking to a stone, until they're ready to listen." Something most of the clan wouldn't be ready to do for some time, at least. Especially not Smokkefeather.

How had she become a voice of reason?

"You can always come to me if anyone gives you trouble." She added. "It looks like you have a friend in Birdpaw, too." A reminder that the she-cat wasn't completely shunned by the clan. Birdpaw was gentle and kind, in many ways she was most of the things Beechface wasn't. She was proud of her daughter for that, for trying to be better. Perhaps that was something Beechface should have tried harder to do, as well.

Tornpaw nodded slowly, taking in Beechface's words. She wanted others to stop looking at her strangely. To stop looking at her like she was a monster, but that wasn't going to happen. Not any time soon. They just saw her as Dawnhawk's kit and a monster of his creation, but she didn't believe he was a monster. Not when he treated her so well.

The gold and white apprentice let out a hefty sigh, her body sinking down in slight defeat. Today was a lot on her. She just wanted to go lay down for a while. Maybe Birdpaw would keep her company later. "Yeah.. Birdpaw is nice.." Tornpaw said to the older she-cat. Before pushing herself to her paws.

"I'm going to go lay down now.. If you see Birdpaw can you send her my way?" She asked the medicine cat, before heading off to the apprentices' den, her tail and head hanging low in defeat.

"I'll let her know." Beechface mewed gently. "Go and rest, Tornpaw." There was little else she could say, and to push too hard would only come off an insincere and wind up pushing Tornpaw further.

She watched the apprentice slink off to her den, a frown tugging at her maw. The clan would come around... Or they wouldn't. Their issues with Dawnhawk were perfectly valid, but it still wasn't an excuse to lay blame on an innocent. Even she knew that, and she'd perhaps been Dawnhawk's most outspoken opposition from even before Asylum.

Sighing, the medicine cat turned away. She'd let Birdpaw know if where her friend was when she came back to camp.