Give and Take [Closed]

"I'm sorry about this..."

"Hush, Roe,"

"I don't know why I had to drag you along when I just want to talk to one cat! I would have been fine-"

Roe swung his head to look at Lexine, ears slicking back as he fixed her with wide eyes. The two had halted right outside of the entrance of the WindClan camp, Roe shifting on his paws as he looked as sheepish as he possibly could. Out of WindClan, there had been a single cat that always caught his interest - Zinnia. She didn't have a Clan name so he had to assume that she was once an outsider...But it was easy enough to simply ask - but, of course, per Theron's orders, he had to bring Lexine with him just for a single conversation.

"No pack hunts alone," Lexine interrupted, lashing her tail in annoyance as she narrowed her eyes at him. "So stop complaining. It's better not to take the risk of you being caught alone - we can't trust these cats."

Roe blinked at that, frowning as he tilted his head as he pushed his way into the camp. "You aren't giving them enough credit, Lexine. They aren't so bad! They wouldn't hurt me, I've done nothing to them," he noted as he scanned the camp, trying to spot Zinnia. Hopefully she wasn't out on a patrol...

"Tsk, I don't think they care what you haven't done," she muttered as she slipped in next to him. "Your trust in them will be your undoing, Roe. We are Nightstrikers, we aren't here to make friends. We ought to be doing our job."

"And our job is to bring these cats into Asylum - so yes, I am doing my job by 'playing nice' as you would call it," he retorted. His ears slicked back before he sighed heavily. "Just...Keep watch. I won't be gone long, alright?" Lexine grunted in return as she sat off to the side. Roe gave her a long look before he turned and started to scan the camp again, shaking his head. He wasn't sure what Lexine's problem was - he knew that she was right in one sense...As Nightstrikers, they rarely had to make friends. But he was seeing this all as a nice change of pace, a chance to grow - to learn from these Clan cats. To be more than just a 'Nightstriker' for a little while.

Getting to sit down and have a conversation was much more his speed than fighting whoever he was ordered. Finally, he spotted his target - Zinnia. He perked up, tail nub lashing in excitement as he hurried across the camp toward her - before he mindfully slowed down as he drew close. "Hello! Z-Zinnia, was it?" he meowed, coming to a stop a few tail-lengths away from her as he smiled softly. "You might remember me. I'm Roe, I was against you in the leader games... I just wanted to ask you some questions, if you don't mind answering them. I'm just curious about you." He paused, shifting on his paws. "Y-You are free to ask questions of your own if you want thought! Maybe this can be a learning experience for us both."

Zinnia couldn't help that she bristled visibly when any of the Asylum cats approached her - there was bitter history between them, things had happened that couldn't be brushed aside long before their hostile takeover - but she tried to remain polite, if distant. The one to greet her now wasn't one of the regulars in WindClan, she'd last seen him during the competitions they'd held. "Roe," she nodded, recalling that he and one of his associates had stood against herself and Olivestar for the maze competition.

He wanted to ask questions? For what purpose? Still, if she was careful what she spoke of, and he wanted knowledge of her rather than her Clan - well, that she could provide. It had been some time indeed since anyone asked her of her history, the place from which she came. And perhaps she could learn more about the Asylum. "I see no reason to refuse such a request."

She wasn't complaining - to be simply one of WindClan, her only true oddities in certain words and the name she still carried, was the life she had chosen - but for someone to wonder anything at all about her, well. That was nice too, and even if they stood now on opposing sides there was no need to be enemies with this cat in particular.

Roe straightened up as Zinnia agreed, plopping down with a small sigh of relief. "Oh, good! Its just something that has been bothering me since we met..." he blinked, ears slicking back. "That...Sorry, that sounded rude, didn't it? Mostly when all I really wanted to ask was...Well, your name. 'Zinnia.' That isn't a Clan name so...You were a loner, weren't you?" he asked, tilting his head as he studied her. "I guess I am just curious about...You. I mean, I figured all Clan cats would have...Uh, y'know, their silly naming no matter their origins but then there is you. I mean, I like it! Its a very pretty name," he added quickly, giving her a smile. "But I, ah, guess it makes you stand out. In a good way!" He flinched a little, sighing heavily. "...Sorry, I haven't really spoken to a Clan cat before...So I guess...I'm just curious about you. How did a loner like you end up here, and why did you end up keeping your name?"

Yes, the question of her name was certainly a simple one to answer. "They do, most of the time. My circumstances were... A little bit different, I suppose. I was born in a land of endless flowers, with which we share our names, but eventually the winds called my name and they carried me here." It was nice to share anything of her home, even if she was careful - knowing the nature of Asylum - with how much to say. "Such is the way of the drifters. We know not where we will go or if we might return... Simply that we must. My winds led me here, to this forest and these Clan cats, and to the flower fields of the open moor."

She was often forgetful, but the memory of that day was etched into her mind. "WindClan's leader at the time, he came across me sleeping there one day. He was kind, though I was trespassing on his land - not that I'd known that before. Simply warned me of the danger lurking there." Foxes, they'd thought at the time. "My home is a peaceful place, more often than not. Foxes were little more than a myth to me, naive as I was. I had only known peace, and here these cats were in the midst of what, for the first time, seemed like war..."

And it had been a war, in the end. "I was a child of peace, but there is something we are taught where I am from. I learned mostly from my father, and his lesson was simple: to show kindness to those in need of it, to lend a helping paw where you can. It took a while, but eventually I found this very camp, and I promise to lend my paws to their fight. I was not a warrior, not a kit or apprentice - merely a friend pledging my aid. I was not WindClan, everyone knew - I was an ally, nothing more and nothing less."

Despite the gravity of these memories, there was a comfort to be found in revisiting them. "That is how I came to be WindClan. The threat we faced, the reason I stayed, it came and went... But I remained. No one sent me away, and I took up the role of a warrior without hesitation. I've never had a ceremony, like the apprentices do, but then... We've always done things our way, to an extent. I have pledged my allegiance to each of our leaders since that first day. Even so, I keep what little I can from my home - words, traditions, my name. Something given to me by my family, when they're so distant to me here. Ah, but... I suppose I got a little carried away in my answer. I apologize."

Roe perked up as Zinnia started her tale, blinking as she explained her homeland. A land of endless flowers... His ears slicked back a little, eyes widening at the simple idea that she had left that! That sounded...Wonderful. Beautiful. So different from where he was born, he felt a pang of jealous and deep confusion. He just...It sounded peaceful, wonderful. What he would have given to be born there instead... She went on to explain how she had found WindClan - their leader had simply found her and welcomed her - and that she was a cat of peace, a pledge of....Kindness. Something tickled in the back of his mind, a story he had once heard whispered among Asylum. Of what they used to be, before they took control of their own destiny. It was often spoken with distain - he knew Theron had personally lent a paw within. Whatever it was, they had seen it so vile that they had burnt it to the ground but...Hm.

So Zinnia was not truly a WindClan cat - she was still a loner in some sense. But...Had found her place here - enough that she had remained while their leaders had changed. She had no true loyality, yet here she was... Huh. Roe tilted his head, before he blinked as she aplogized for her long-winded answer. "No! No, no, no need to apologize," he said quickly, smiling in wonder. "It was...Wonderful. Your homeland sounds beautiful. I..." his gaze fell to his paws, taking in a deep breath as he glanced around to see who was close to the pair. "...I hope we never find it," he muttered softly. He believed in their cause, their duties but what would Asylum get out of absorbing such a...Peaceful land. "Its...So different from where I came from. I grew up only knowing violence, it was the way of my group. We struggled to survive and..." he drifted off, gaze falling. And he had nearly been killed because he didn't see the point in it all. "Asylum saved my group - saved me. I owe them everything. I...Do have another question," he said softly, lifting his gaze to meet hers. "...What do you see in the Clans? Were they the first group you found in your travels. Did you...Simply feel this was the right place? You knew a life of peace but I've heard stories of all the wars that have transpired among the Clans. I can't imagine what it was like, settling in. I....I guess I am just...Curious."

"It's a beautiful place," Zinnia agreed, with a hint of surprise at his muttered addition. Roe was full of surprises, it seemed: he went on to explain his own past, The Asylum saving him from his own far more dangerous home. She supposed she could see his loyalty in a new light with that revelation: if the live he'd had was so much worse, that this was somehow better... She couldn't begin to imagine it, even when she was no longer the naive cat she had once been. "Why I stay... It's complicated, I think. Difficult to explain, certainly, but I'll do my best."

She closed her eyes, the easy answer long gone now. "I have seen countless groups in my travels, but nothing that felt like home before I came across this place. I suppose if I wanted something similar, I could have turned back - but that never felt right. I stayed after the threat to everyone's safety was long gone, and yes, it was difficult to adjust to a life that was so different... I felt like I might never belong here. But I made friends, the kind I didn't want to leave, and I fell in love, and even as I didn't know if I should stay... Leaving felt wrong, somehow. This is the place I became a mentor, a mate, a mother... I came to understand that it was never one or the other. Warrior and peacekeeper, of WindClan and the flower fields... A pledge of kindness and of honor. Taken together, that is who I am."

"It took longer than it should have to realize I wasn't less of one thing because I was still the other. But you can't live a good life if you're at war with yourself, can you?" Eyes blinking open once again, she mused, "Though I suppose it's also quite simple. Kindness brought me to this place, and Love keeps me here."

(Roe wouldn't understand, but she laughed a little at her own remark anyway. Love, that was the code she'd bound herself to, wasn't it? For her, a code of peace and honor was a code of Love. That was the ideal she'd been left with, the true source of her loyalty; that she and WindClan both had come to value that ideal as highly as they did.)

Roe leaned forward with true curiosity as Zinnia started to speak, listening with intent. So, the Clans were not her first group she had found, simply felt like home. It had given her purpose, helped her realize herself. He drew back a little as he ran her words through his head, whiskers twitching at her final statement. Kindness and love... He stared down at his paws, flexing his claws a little. Thoughts bubbled inside his head, thoughts that sent a wave of guilt crashing down on him. No, this was right. It was for the best - with their help, the Clans would know peace. Perhaps not at the same level as Zinnia's old home but... He was a Nightstriker, he wasn't suppose to question his orders. Just follow them. He glanced over his shoulder at where Lexine was looking bored, recalling the fond nights the would have, lost in conversation. The laughs that their pack would share. They were his family, he had to trust them. "I see," he finally said, gaze turning back to Zinnia as he gave her a smile - but perhaps not as bright as before. "That's...Interesting. I..." he bit his tongue, trying to deny the words that wanted to bubble forth. Instead, he took in a deep breath. "...Do you have any questions for me?" he asked, perking his ears. "You have me insight on yourself. Its...Only fair I offer the same in return."

"Just one, I think," she admitted, fixing him with a curious stare. There was no malice where there might have been, having decided that the cat before her was not any sort of immediate threat. "Why do you do what you do? You're certainly not blind, and you seem reasonable enough. You can see the harm that all this causes, can't you? While it's true that the forest clans aren't always peaceful... I simply struggle to see how your way is the answer."

"I..." Roe's ears slicked back as Zinnia asked perhaps the single question he was dreading. Why? He drew back a little, mouth opening and closing as he tried to come up with a response. It...It wasn't his place to question it - he knew that. Theron and the other Captains had been doing this much longer than he had been around. "Asylum has always been a collecting of knowledge," he started, doing his best to keep his voice even as he spoke. "Asylum was born when they decided to leave their oasis and use that knowledge to bring others together. I-I understand that its hard to see the good that Asylum wants to do here but...I've seen them absorb violent groups, prone to fighting and dying and...Bringing a peace to them. Giving all the cats who only knew violence a place within our family." He sighed, ears slicking back. "Its...True, I'm not happy with how Theron...Took things, at the start. I don't want the death, I don't want the violence. But I've been told about the stories of the Clans - fighting over...A lot of things. Terrible violence for things that didn't deserve it - from paws accidently straying over borders and then the violence in order to find 'justice'. We just want to bring a new unity to the Clans - to stop the next time you all would end up at each other's throats. To stop the lives that would be lost then. Is that so terrible to want?"