Ashpaw's Starclan Dream

Wearily, Beechface eyed the moon, silently judging the time before slipping back into the medicine den. She'd managed to find her sister in a quiet moment earlier, instructing her to slip away from her fellow apprentices, complaining of a sore stomach.

Beechface worried for Ashpaw. The traitorous fox-dung-stain of a cat had been her mentor, and Beechface had little idea of where her head was at now. She'd fought an owl with Dawnhawk and those cuts had healed, but was she okay after the past few days?

The apprentice in question slipped into the den, and Beechface found herself gently pulling her sister close, resting her chin on the top of her head for a brief moment. After a moment she sighed. The moon would not wait for them, and she could only hope that Starclan would visit the apprentice tonight.

"Take this nest, back here." She said quietly, gently nudging her sister towards the nest in question.

The past few days had been very difficult.  For the entire clan, but Ashpaw kept beating herself up about it.  For a moment, when Beechface rested her chin upon Ashpaw's head, she felt peace, for the first time sense the Asylum cats came, Bloodstrike disappeared and Dawnhawk broke her heart.  She needed to be strong.  She needed to be a warrior.  But at that moment all she wanted to do was stay there.  Her mind clear with her sister's comfort.  Although that was not why she came.

As Beechface's head pulled away from her own, she reminded herself of the reason she was here.  When her sister told her where to go, she strode over to the nest, the tips of her paws nearly dragging the ground.  She stepped upon the soft nest and looked up at her sister.  "Thank you," she exclaimed and gave Beechface a kind smile.  That was the first time she smiled in days.

With that, she curled up.  Letting herself trust that Beechface was there and nothing bad would happen.  Then moments later, her eye lids felt hard to hold up and she fell into the first real sleep sense the cold night when everyone's life changed.

When Ashpaw opened her eyelids, she was greeted by the dreamy landscape of Starclan territory. A trickling stream, reminiscent of the one that crossed Skyclan territory, drifted past with a soothing shush. There was lush greenery and tall trees. Everything seemed duller and less vibrant than in the physical realm and yet, the territory was speckled with flecks of the stars themselves, shimmering on endlessly.

Across from the apprentice sat a black and white splashed tom of the most unusual coat pattern. His tail was curled across his paws and a warm smile crossed his features. Written on the Starclan cat's face were scars reminiscent of claws that had scored them many moons ago. In a similar manner, the stories of various other battles speckled his pelt. The frame of the tom was lithe and built with lean muscle, telling of his Windclan heritage. He was particularly imposing or impressive but kind and laced with experience wisdom.

Blue eyes blinked finally, regarding her, before he dipped his head with an introduction, "My name is Rippedstar, a former leader of Skyclan from even before Tinylegs. I've come to bring the wisdom of Starclan to you." When the Windclan-born warrior spoke, his words were gentle but betrayed a quite strength. Starclan wasn't demanding, it didn't need him to be bold or brave like life had commanded of him. Now, the tom was merely a guide; he only hoped to be a good one in these unprecedented times. Rippedstar piped up once again with sympathy shining in the depths of his gaze, "It's not in the usual manner of speaking with Starclan but what else could we do besides abandon our resting place? In spite of it all, the ancestors still watch over you, young one."

Beautiful, Ashpaw thought, as she looked at the amazing scenery of Starclan.  Everything was peaceful.  Everywhere she looked was filled with greenery.  She wondered why Skyclan could not be like this.  Instead of being filled with ash and pain and hurt, why couldn't it be like this wonderful place that seemed to be filled with joy and beauty and peace.

Rippedstar also seemed to be an amazing cat who was calm, kind, and strong and must have made a wonderful leader.  The only thing that slightly bothered her about this extraordinary cat was his choice of words.  Strange was not exactly the word she would use to describe what was happening to the clans right now.  Although she said nothing about it to Rippedstar.  She could not disrespect a Starclan cat, especially one who used to be the leader of Skyclan.  Still, she was very excited to be in his presence.

"Hi my name is Ashpaw nice to meet you," she exclaimed, smiling at him in return.  "I am an apprentice in Skyclan.  But you probably already knew that."  Her paws shifted uneasily and she almost hit herself in the face with her tail because of how badly she was speaking to Rippedstar.  "I have a question for you.  I'm not sure if you are able to answer it or not but-" She paused for a moment and her calm voice turned slightly more serious.  "With the Asylum cats and my br- Dawnhawk, what should I do?"

He studied her expression, and nodded as she spoke. The uncertainty writ across the apprentice's face was obvious. Rippedstar smiled and tilted his chin to encourage her to continue on. Countless seasons ago he remembered facing Starclan himself; awestruck wonder and memorizing fear were only a pawful of ways to describe the many emotions that came with meeting the ancestors. It all seemed worlds away until one's paws rested in the afterlife.

The questions she asked were what he expected. Such things were on the mind of all clan cats, especially with the Asylum cats flittering in and out of camp, as well as stalking the territory. Nothing like this had ever befallen the forest before, with the exception being the tyranny of the Righteous Few. There wasn't an easy answer and it took a moment for the patched tom to sort out any words. When Rippedstar finally spoke, there first came a sigh and then the dip of his head, "Don't lose hope, above all else, Ashpaw. I know it is easier said then done but it will carry you further than any thing else."

He remembered Sedgestrike and the difficult times that befallen him when first joining Skyclan. The moons had weighed heavy on his shoulders and threatened to bring him down onto his belly. But it was the cats around him and the clan he served that had lifted him up. Starclan could only interfere so much in the physical realm. Prior events with the code stringent ancestors had proven what issues could come from putting paws where they did not belong. He meowed again, bringing his blue gaze to meet hers now, "Put your faith in the cats you can trust and keep your chin up. Sometimes that is all you can do in the face of uncertainty."

Ashpaw looked down when he finished speaking.  Did she already lose hope? This, honestly, she could not tell.  She looked back up at him.  Her soft yellow eyes gazing into the Starclan cat's.  How did everything change so much over the past few days?  Even though she had all these thoughts, somehow they seemed to all melt away.  She stood up and took one soft step towards him.  Every single blade of grass under her paws seemed perfect.  The ground itself even seemed like it was just a firm cushion, meant for cats to just lay on to fall asleep.  Ashpaw hesitated before taking another step towards Rippedstar.  She did not know if she was allowed to or not, so she stayed still.

This cat was wonderful, but she could not stop the fear that she had about doing something wrong.  "Thank you," she mumbled in response to what he said.  Rippedstar's statement was very vague, but she was still very grateful to have a cat to talk to about this that was not going through the exact same thing.  She decided to move away from seeking knowledge and instead talk about Starclan.

"This place is beautiful," she meowed.  "And peaceful.  I wish Skyclan was like this.  What is it like being here everyday?"

There was an obvious hesitation in the young cat's eyes. As much as the former leader wished to dispel it, he understood it. The only indication he noted such a thing was the rhythmic flickering of his tail; otherwise, Rippedstar chose to stay silent for a moment. When she regarded the beautiful landscape, his brilliant blue eyes followed about. Most young cats came merely seeking wisdom and finding themselves enamored with the idea of all-knowing ancestors. More often than not, it was common for their visitors to argue for something more than a vague answer. But he knew the consequences of Starclan dabbling their paws too deep into the affairs of the forest. It was a mistake he hoped never to make himself, no matter how enticing it might seem.

A smile peeled back the edges of his maw. No one had asked him that before. The question was intriguing, even if the utterance was more factual in nature. Rippedstar pondered it for a moment, running his tongue across the roof of his mouth as he contemplated the answer. Finally, he hummed softly, and then spoke once more, "Wonderful. And maddening. It's hard to fully appreciate the springy grass under your paws without remembering the hard contrast stone brings when it roughs up your pads. There is always the matter of watching the world below and struggling to maintain a proper distance. The Righteous Few is what happens when Starclan steps too far out of bounds..." His voice became a mere mutter at the end before he shook his head, "But there is always a sense of belonging here and plenty to be grateful for after a long life life. Enjoy it while you're down there, alright? Live on behalf of your long dead kin." Another smile, one that genuinely bled into the expression of his gaze.

Ashpaw looked somewhat puzzled when he mentioned the word "maddening".  That was not the word she expected to hear from a cat talking about Starclan.  She appreciated Rippedstar's responses, although she thought them unusual, he seemed like he was telling the truth.  The responses was still somewhat vague, but it was more then most of the other cats would probably tell her.

He told her to enjoy her life when she was down there and she pondered this for a moment.  Nothing enjoyable had happened in some days, so how could she enjoy it?  She thought about what it would be like to live in Starclan like he did.  She would want to help every cat, but she knew she wouldn't be able to.  This must be very hard for most of the cats there.

"I see how it must be hard," she said to him.  "Seeing all the cats in the clans, but knowing that you shouldn't reveal to much." She was beginning to understand Starclan more now.  She often wondered why they wouldn't do anything about some of the horrible circumstances her tribe was going through, but now she was beginning to understand it.  "This might be a strange question and you don't need to answer it in detail or anything, it's just something I have been thinking about.  I get that all Starclan cats have a story about their life, before they were in Starclan.  What's yours?

Her sympathy and understanding showed wisdom beyond her years, and a willingness to listen that not every apprentice whose paws crossed these lands seemed to show. As curious as Ashpaw seemed to be in him, he was in her; the late leader was interested in seeing where she would go throughout her own warriorhood. The questions she pressed with caused his ears to perk. His story? The scarred tom had a distant half-smile cross his maw. Those very wounds that marred his features bore evidence of the many various life experiences of another time. There was a brief pause before he spoke once again.

"My story? Well, it's certainly one I don't mind telling. It has faded some over the years, cats found more interesting things to gossip on, I supposed. But, I was born in Windclan." Given his build, this likely wasn't a surprise to the she-cat. Despite their shared blood, her frame was much stockier than his and there was an obvious difference in size. To think that he was kin with Bloodstrike was such a funny thought at times, "As a young apprentice, I watched my clan defend a deputy who fought without honor. My mentor had passed away. It was a confusing and misguided time. But it lead my paws to Skyclan where Crowstar took me in. Cats hated me and rightfully so... but slowly they came around and I found my place. Now, most of the clan, yourself included, are my descendants."

The black and white warrior wore a broad grin once again. It wasn't often he considered where he had come from but it was refreshing, humbling. Windclan had bore him but Skyclan had made him. In spite of all the circumstances surrounding the clans, the tom knew that his clan would survive and grow strong. Not even the claws of their oppressors could strip them of who they really were.

Ashpaw curiously listened.  Thoughts flooded her mind.  This cat being from Windclan was not to surprising, but she still did not expect it.  What she definitely was not prepared for, was the fact that they were related.  She, of course, knew that every Starclan cat had relatives, but she did not think he could be hers.  They did not look much alike at all.  Much of the clan was his descendants, that must mean that a lot of the clan has Windclan blood in it.  "I'm- I'm your descendant?" She said thinking a lot about this.  "That is amazing." She had a both happy and shocked look on her face.