Memories That Haunt and Heal

The moors were bathed in the soft sunlight coming from far above. The sun had recently passed it's highest point in the sky, and a lone golden figure melded with the landscape. Goldengale had slipped out of camp to enjoy the quiet afternoon, relishing the silence and allowing her mind to explore the moors and also the memories that it held. Earlier, she had passed the sandy area where Barleytuft, her beloved father, had taught her how to escape the earth that sucked at paws. That lesson had been valuable, and had saved her many times, through purposeful tunnel collapses in an attempt to put an end to the terrors that had haunted WindClan. Those memories were distant, but still fresh - but as she approached the flowers that were growing brown and wilted fresher memories filled her imagination. Clovertwist. Her final remaining littermate. He had left the clans several moons before, and many nights she lay awake wondering if she could find him - if she should find him. She missed him terribly, she had been close to Barleytuft, but closer still to Clovertwist. The two had relied on each other through many losses and heartaches, and she was proud and perhaps a tiny bit jealous that he had the courage to leave it all behind to find his own happiness. Looking over her shoulder back towards where the camp lay hidden among the rustling gorse and tall grass, her tail tip flicked from side to side, almost nervously. She wasn't far from the border, and with it being early still she had plenty of time to get away before any cat would be too concerned. By the time they tried to track her, she could be long gone. She sighed, closing her eyes and turning away from the camp. No. She couldn't leave Crowspirit, Grousefrost. All of her grandkits.... They would miss her, wouldn't they? Opening her blue eyes, she lay down with a huff. The clans moved on so quickly. She had seen it many times, after Quailpaw's disappearance, Barleytuft's death. Even Finchstar's death, followed by Aspenheart's, the two toms had been far closer than many cats she knew, and had been held in high respect and esteem through the clans, especially WindClan. Yet, here they stood still, moons after their passing, still surviving, still managing. Olivestar was young, but skilled, and had proven herself time and time again. If the clan could heal from something so heartbreaking and terrible, surely the loss of an obscure warrior who kept her head down would be easy to overcome.

She noticed a wilted flower between her paws, and she lowered her head until her nose was just touching it. The petals were hard, making a soft crunching sound as she pressed against it lightly. As she watched, a leaf came disconnected from the dying flower. Her head tilted slightly as she stared at where it had landed before raising a paw and placing it gently on top of it, feeling the thin edges give way under even the slightest pressure and crumbling beneath the fleshy pad of her paw. As the sun continued to cross the sky, making it's way to the destination of the far horizon, she lay by the dying flower field, pondering her contributions to her clan and recalling conversations from the past. Maybe some time to think would bring clarity.

~To Be Continued~

The sun had started to set when Goldengale finally snapped out of her own thoughts, and she was confused as she saw the long shadows over the field. Had she really been laying there that long? She let out a small chitter as she sat up, the achiness in her shoulders and hind legs confirming how long it had been since she moved them. She was growing older as well, she wasn't as fast as she had once been, and the gray in her muzzle attested to that fact. Her eyes narrowed at the thought, and then she came to a realization. She had been gone for so long now, and no one had been by looking for her. Not even Grousefrost. Her tail slapped against the ground as annoyance flared in her expression. What had she expected? She had already considered earlier how the clans moved on, regardless of the heartbreaks individual cats were facing. Why should it be any different for her? Perhaps they had already assumed she had been lost in a collapsed tunnel....

Shaking her head of these thoughts, she hissed quietly. No, the clan was tired, healing. They probably knew she could take care of herself, and it wasn't dark yet. They knew she would be back, and their concern wouldn't start to take root until she wasn't. With a sigh, she stood, letting out a low groan as she stretched, extending her claws into the cold earth. A chilly breeze ruffled her fur, and she raised a paw to head back to camp when she suddenly froze, paw still raised. The breeze carried a scent, one that was distantly familiar. It was different than she remembered, but time could do that. Time and change could alter once familiar scents to one that was foreign but similar, and this one was no different. Setting her paw down and raising her nose to the wind again, she opened her mouth to try to get it again. Yes, there it was, faint but present. She wasn't able to pinpoint it's origin beyond somewhere near the border, so she headed in that direction until she was just on WindClan's border, peering into the surrounding area and trying to locate what she had scented. Finally, a shadow appeared from a nearby bush, and Goldengale's suspicions were confirmed. So many memories ran through her mind, and tears welled in her eyes. Perhaps she should have made her choice sooner, to return or to leave it all behind, because she couldn't help but feel her choice was being made for her. "You." She uttered, a single word that held so much emotion in it, pain and grief among them.

Golden eyes swept the plain as a lone she-cat stalked forward - although, she knew she wasn't as alone as she seemed. She was the forward scout - to make sure things were clear before plans were put into motion... She paused as she took in a deep breath, tasting the familiar scents that had haunted her dreams. One of them sent an ache down her spine... And her eyes widen with the realization that it was fresh. She turned, padding across the grass - her pelt bathed in the fading golden lights of day as she pushed past a bush...And found her eyes settled on a golden form.

A hiss escaped her - Goldengale wasn't the only one reliving painful memories at the sight of each other. Her tail lashed, eyes blazing with anger but she shoved it away as instead, a gentle, peaceful smile worked its way across her face. "Me," she purred, her anger fading into relief.

It seems fate favored her.