adrift [closed; character departure]

The scent of smoke still hung faintly in the air, but ever since the fire had disappeared by means unknown, Clovertwist hadn’t seen a flicker of flame or a hint of another scorching disaster anywhere nearer. The charred remains of SkyClan, and perhaps ThunderClan’s, territory loomed like an ominous shadow in the distance. From his home in the barn, though, the former Clan cat knew that life still remained, untouched in some places and otherwise enduring in others. He had seen patrols on the moors and even dared go to the border to test if the markings were fresh. Even after everything, life carried on. Clovertwist had found much the same, and though he’d settled into the routine of an ex-warrior living as an isolated loner, he’d also begun to consider if he had placed himself where he was meant to be.

The familiar mark of WindClan whenever it carried on the breeze carried with it heartbreak as well as homesickness; he often feared that any unusually strong scents were a patrol of his friends and family coming to claim him back for the Clan, but, for better or worse, the patrol never came. It seemed like they… like they didn’t even notice that he was gone. Or maybe they didn’t care. Maybe - more reasonably - Ravenstar had told them what Clovertwist had been feeling and they all decided it was better not to make him come back if it was what he wanted. It almost hurt, but some part of him was relieved that they had respected his wishes. But Goldengale… his sister. They had talked. They’d had a heart to heart. They’d promised to spend more time together… and then nothing. Did she even notice he was gone?

Eventually the homesickness would be too much, and Clovertwist wondered if he would wind up coming home. He wondered for a time how his father and mother had dealt with being away from home for so long. The idea came to him slowly over a few days, a string of “I don’t know if I can stay here”, “I can’t stay here”, “Where else can I go?”, “I have to go somewhere”, “What’s out there?”,

”Where’s the lake?”

It had been a surprising thought that stuck in Clovertwist’s mind like a bone in the throat. Suddenly every moment was distracted by thoughts of a distant body of water upon which the Clans had once been forced to make a life. That was far… but Barleytuft and Graybriar had made it, and Graybriar had a broken leg at the time. Even Ravenstar had been there, as an apprentice. Dappleshine too. If they had made it back weak and weary, surely Clovertwist could make it there, whole and healthy? A flood had carried them there, but their paws had carried them home. It was entirely possible that he could manage the journey himself. Suddenly with those thoughts, all his time was spent watching that distant southern horizon - past the moors, along the river, between RiverClan and SkyClan, beyond the twolegplace. What waited there? How had the lake changed since his kin had departed it? His Clan had been forced to flee when a human and its two dogs appeared to chase them out, but there were twolegs everywhere - and everywhere there were places and ways to avoid them.

The longer he thought, the more he knew: the lake was his future. He couldn’t be a Clan cat, and the nearby presence of WindClan threatened to crush him from the inside out, but he didn’t know if he could survive without a link to the life he loved and left behind. The lake, then, was the perfect answer: a connection to his family without the obligation of the lifestyle he’d abandoned. Clovertwist spent a few days mentally preparing himself, but when a hazy dawn rose on an overcast but hot and breezy day, he knew he could put it off no more. It was time to go. The kink-tailed tabby tom was ready for something new - something that didn’t have such a clawhold on his heart. Clovertwist was ready, at last, to truly break the bonds that had held him there. He prayed for Goldengale. He prayed for Ravenstar. He prayed for Spotlake. He prayed for Olivestone. He prayed for Morningdove. He prayed for Crowspirit. He prayed for all of his friends and family. And then he prayed, ”Please... if they haven’t forgotten me… Let them. Don’t let my sister dwell on this.”

When the sun hid behind a cloud and a mist began to sprinkle from the sky, he set off, a ghost seeking life; a wayward heart seeking self-acceptance.

And then he was gone.