Void Your Sorrows, Drink the Rage (closed)

Energy. Fury. Hot-faced. Dry-eyed.

Not anything like a cat whose mother was dead. Not anything like Thornstar’s kits had been, with her body brutalized, blankly staring into nothingness in the center of camp. Shadestrike has looked much more restful. She went in her sleep, when her inability to eat finally took the last of her will to live. She curled around her shriveled stomach and died, and while the clan mourned, Tanglepaw looked away. She furrowed her brow, willed tears to spill from her eyes, so she would feel comfortable collapsing beside Eveningpaw as they grieved the life taken so unjustly… but tears did not come, because there was nothing left of Shadestrike to care about. A husk better served the clan when it was discarded, perhaps in Carrionplace, where it would not attract predators to camp with the tantalizing scent of meat. She wanted to move on, because she was alive and Shadestrike was not, and that should've been the end of it.

She supposed that Eveningpaw didn't care much for that, and that was why Tanglepaw found herself running alongside the thunderpath in the hot, bright sun of daylight. It was not preferable. ShadowClan was entirely asleep, but she had seen Eveningpaw’s tail disappear from the camp entrance, and so she had to follow. Only a fool left camp in the morning.

”Eveningpaw!” Tanglepaw called out, voice raspy and stuffed with the gunk that sleep brought. She followed the putrid scent of herbs, struggling to differentiate it from the acrid bitterness of the thunderpath’s hard rock. She squinted against the reflection of the sun on a passing monster, groaning with rage at the headache it produced. When she blinked, opening her eyes, she could see the billowing smoke of a twoleg nest and a fence in the distance. The trail did not have an ending, rather, it faded up into the wind. If Eveningpaw has truly been here, she was certainly long gone. Tanglepaw was no fool. Her sister would not be returning.

The forest became terribly silent. She yearned to hear the rumbling roar of a monster, or the chirp of a bird, or a laughing twoleg kit. Only the sound of a mourning dove permeated the silence.

A breeze rustled the pine trees. Tanglepaw heard her own breath. She blinked to check that she was still awake. As far as she could look, the tree-speckled abyss greeted her. There were no stars to be seen above. Tanglepaw cleared her throat and lowered herself to her haunches, sitting on the dusty side of the thunderpath. When she returned to camp, she would be alone. The abyss watched her, as a hawk does a rabbit, circling over her head, watching her every move, and prepared to chase her no matter where she may roam. Isolation encroached on her heart, spreading its venom with each despondent beating in her chest.

A branch crunched, breaking the anomalous darkness and returning Tanglepaw to her own body. Three fundamental truths snapped around her head, the three things she knew: I am Tanglepaw, I am a ShadowClan warrior, I follow the Code. A trespasser was to be challenged. Without missing more than a beat, she dug her thorny claws into the dust and imagined the approaching cat was her idiotic sister…

She made contact with cream tabby fur and screeched in mad fury. She landed on top of the rogue, growling with every horrible, garbled breath. ”I am having a very bad day. You’re smart, coming on ShadowClan territory in the daytime. You must know a thing or two about us already, then, not like the last rogue I met. Now, do me a favor before I let you run away. Did you see the little tortoiseshell she-cat with mismatched eyes? She was probably sobbing, all kittypet-like. I can smell her. Is she still here?

Summer cast a watchful, sweeping look across the marshy territory to her side as she walked with due caution on the edge between it and the unpredictable road sprawling along her other side. Maybe someday Summer would depart this forest using the road as her guide, cutting through all the territories and disappearing into the distance. Not now, though. She hadn't yet experienced a full season, and she had much more to see before she'd be content to move on. The wet forest to her side was one of the things she wished to see more of: ShadowClan's territory. She'd ventured there a pawful of times already, but twice she'd been caught "trespassing", "challenged", and then summarily chased out. During one visit she'd had a pleasant interaction, though, and that was more than enough for her to dismiss the times she was chased out and continue her exploration. She knew their "warrior code" well enough at this point to not be deterred; they probably wouldn't kill her, and she would take great care not to hunt on their lands, and she would gush and flatter and obey with sniveling compliance if she were challenged. These cats seemed to like that - most cats with power did.

The drifter hadn't wound up near the dark pine forest so much by chance or desire as with a purpose. Summer edged deeper into the tree-line, her flame-pointed ears twitching and flicking attentively to the sounds of the forest as it rose around her. She followed the scent trail of a she-cat; there was grief and sorrow mingled in with it that had drawn the ginger-cream drifter's attention. She had first discovered it near the edge of the upwalker settlement; almost certainly the cat who smelled strongly of ShadowClan had disappeared into the territory of houses, but why? Summer had missed the she-cat by a short window. Maybe it would've made more sense to try to go after the cat herself in order to get some answers, but any excuse to get a little further into ShadowClan or a little closer was a welcome excuse. Summer took the chance when it was given to her. She felt the warmth of the sun dissipating from her fur as it was blotted out by the trees, leaving her in dimmer light. She stepped on a branch, and she slowed for a moment to survey her surroundings. A bird called out up above, but otherwise it was silent.

Then the silence was broken by the sound of a heavy smack as a hidden form slammed into her back. Summer yowled with shock, her legs immediately crumpling beneath the weight of her assailant. She heard the cat pinning her growl, and she listened through the sound of her thudding heart as she wriggled beneath them. The cat was a she-cat, and she was angry, unsurprisingly - that seemed pretty typical of ShadowClan at this point - but with her anger was a cold, calculating series of observations. Heart still beating fast, Summer did her best to settle beneath her attacker, trying to take in her words and simultaneously weigh the best possible actions to take for the best outcome of this encounter. She didn't ease her muscles, as they were really the only thing keeping her from being totally squashed under the other she-cat.

"Oh, I do wish I could help you, darling," Summer replied with a voice thick with regret and sympathy. "I was looking for her, too, or for anyone who knew her. She certainly did seem sad from what I could scent when I crossed her path at the upwalker settlement. You know her, I presume?" The drifter's voice was slightly strained. She wished she could twist her head around to observe her attacker and see what exactly she was faced with. Then again, perhaps "sniveling compliance" would have to include submissively planting her head on the ground while she was interrogated about a cat she'd never seen and didn't know. That's what I get for being curious, she thought, and she felt no regret. She offered, "If I can help, darling, it would be the least I can do after barging into your forest..."

Tanglepaw's limbs relaxed as the rogue spoke, head cocking slowly to the left in growing confusion as her outburst came to an end. The outsider's voice was birdlike, sweet and slow, like a cat without much to worry about other than a meal. She didn't seem like very much of a threat. She didn't struggle or thrash, but, other than the predicament of being caught underneath a set of paws, she seemed vaguely disaffected. She expressed her sympathy, which Tanglepaw didn't need. Her information was more important to the wiry-pelted apprentice. Upwalker? What in StarClan's name was an upwalker? What walks up? Ducks? Lizards, sometimes? ...Oh, no!

"For the love of-!" she growled, rearing up to free the she-cat from her grip. "The twolegs? She ran off to go cheat kibble off of twolegs?"

As the rogue got up, Tanglepaw tried to approach her, but found her paws stuck in the dirt as she lurched. She was a grown cat. She could get up on her own. The apprentice couldn't quell the desperate waving of her own tail. The same restless energy soon took her legs, causing her to pace, grumbling as she moved in wide ovals across the clearing. Of course, the yellow-bellied runt would leave. Of course she'd abandon her clan. Of course she'd choose the easy way out, a life of confinement and fat idleness. What would she say to her clanmates? What an embarrassment she had made herself. Tanglepaw screwed up her face, forcing the tears threatening her eyes to return from whence they came. They were just tears of frustration, frustration and anger, she told herself. Acutely aware of the rogue at her side, Tanglepaw peered up, eyes both blazing hot and freezing cold, a deadly concoction of poisonous emotion. "I do know her. She's my sister. Our mother died last night. If that's enough for her to leave me out here, then good riddance! She was always too soft... Mother coddled her. Mothglow coddled her. The whole clan coddled her. Selfish brat. Ugh!" She sliced her claws across the tall grass, growling in terrible anguish.

If she couldn't trust her own kin, who was left? The flame-pointed loner was in her peripheral again, and Tanglepaw turned to face her, head low. Maybe she had been too explosive. The stranger had given her what she asked for, and judging by her age and size, she didn't have to take it lying down. Tanglepaw's ears flipped back, grimacing at the thought of being flayed on her own land... There were amends to be made. "Look, if I catch you something to eat, will you forgive me for tackling you?" she sighed. "My whole clan is asleep, they won't give a rat's tail. They'll be too busy worrying about dear little Eveningpaw going missing out of the medicine den than what I'm doing out here."

As Summer spoke and answered the she-cat's question to the best of her abilities (and in consideration of her own self-interest) she could feel the skilled fighter's grip loosening - just enough to prove that she would make good on her promise to release Summer, but not enough to make an easy opening. This she-cat wasn't in a very good mood, and the reason would soon become apparent as her attacker processed what she'd been told. Summer felt the last of the iron grip slip without resistance off of her shoulders as the she-cat let out an exasperated growl that cut off swiftly. As the drifter scrabbled to her paws, almost concerned that her explanation would make her more of a target than she already was, she heard the ShadowClan cat spit about "cheating kibble off of twolegs". She swiftly connected upwalkers and twolegs, having heard it more than once and in more certain context now. This Clan cat was angry because, apparently, the sad cat was looking for upwalker food - hunting so easy you can lay on your back and still get fed.

Summer turned to view the cat who'd caught her trespassing at last, and her pale blue eyes landed on a flat, stout face of a gray she-cat. The Clan cat looked immensely agitated, her thick tail lashing while she paced with a look of frustration and distress in the glittering of her orange eyes. Her shoulders stinging slightly, Summer turned her head to try to lick at her ruffled fur while keeping a sidelong glance on the gray she-cat. After a few moments of uncomfortable pacing, the ShadowClan cat turned her head sharply to look at the drifter again, and Summer's ears perked to focus intently on her. She became acutely aware of the look of... of betrayal on the Clan cat's face as the she-cat explained her relation to the runaway. The drifter's ginger plume of a tail lowered, flicking gently over the earth on which she stood as she stared attentively at the hurt and angry cat. Summer couldn't help but flinch ever so slightly as her attacker slashed at the ground, but she knew now that the she-cat's anger had a purposeful direction. The ginger-cream cat gathered herself again, eyes blazing a little more while she let the angry young she-cat rage herself out.

Summer lifted one paw with a patient flick, drawing it up to her mouth and lapping her pad to draw over the back of her ear. After only a few steady, purposeful strokes the Clan cat, having calmed a little after her outburst, turned towards the drifter again, and Summer raised her brows expectantly. The gray cat looked apologetic, albeit perhaps begrudgingly so; she offered to fetch Summer prey as an apology for the hasty attack. The drifter considered turning down the clearly conflicted and grieving she-cat's generous offer in her time of emotional turmoil, but no - the promise of free food simply for having been tackled when it was technically the Clan cat's right to do so was much too good to pass up. "I'm not a picky eater," Summer offered to accept, smirking faintly. Besides, with what the Clan cat was muttering about, perhaps it was even in her best interest not to return to her camp for the time being.

The flame-pointed cream drifter made a point not to sit when she knew she was on the fine edge of trespassing and visiting. Summer meowed in a silky voice, "Darling, it seems to me that you need a little coddling. Not as a kit, mind you - not like your sister must have gotten to choose a soft life of a housecat. Even I wouldn't choose that, and I don't turn down free food." Her eyes sparkled with a little mischief. She could feel the insecurity this gray cat felt from the bitter words she spoke. Summer suspected the best approach would be to assure the she-cat of her worth, whether it meant anything to the drifter personally or not. Compassionately, she pointed out, "But, after all, you're out here protecting your territory from nosy strays, catching prey to feed your Clanmates, thinking of your code, and worrying about your sister all while you've lost your mother, and no one's thanking you." She made a soft tsk. "Well, I'm grateful. I only wish I'd brought you better news - what's your name, darling?" Her eyes shone as she sought to catch the gray flat-faced cat's shining golden-yellow eyes.

At the stranger's answer, Tanglepaw nodded curtly and dropped to a crouch, searching through the undergrowth for movement or life. Each paw left sizable imprints in the dirt as she abandoned her refined, clan-trained technique. She dug her talons into every step, letting her tail trail behind her like a plume of smoke, and let her eyes seek out the most available prey. The concentration did wonders for her mood, if anything. Her heartbeat fell more evenly now, as her ear flicked in the direction of a rustle. Tall grass hid a rough and bumpy amphibian, croaking nervously as it flattened itself against the ground. The grey she-cat made her move, striking claws against spongy skin as she dragged it towards her on a hooked paw. She stamped it underfoot, holding it still as she cracked its skull, taking it dutifully back to the rogue in time to catch her next set of words.

Her voice chimed like a warm zephyr; it was peppered with sharpness. She was every bit as frank as she was tender. Tanglepaw dropped the prey between them, settling down on her side for the first time since their encounter began. Almost on a cue, a heavy weight settled in her chest. The anger Tanglepaw had experienced just moments before was now being slowly and painfully smothered by a dark, muggy cloud of fog. She felt, on the whole, too occupied with the pressure behind her eyes to worry about being attacked. Her hackles fell, her tail falling limp around her back paws. She didn't like this new, awful cracking in her chest. It was easier to ignore the darkness when she was lit up like an inferno. Now, the light was gone, with neither joy nor rage to distract her. There was only a breezy, unfamiliar voice, coaxing her out from the abyss when she ached to sink deeper into the shadows. For now, a light was shining in its place. The rogue spoke in language more soothing than her own mother had been at times. Shadestrike was in the business of protecting her kitten, no matter how she may grow or surpass her peers in skill and ferocity. Tanglepaw did not need any guarding that she could not give herself. A bit of recognition might've been nice. A bit of recognition, from anyone at all, might have been adequate.

Tanglepaw could not give much more than a sardonic "humph" in response to the rogue's musings. "Eveningpaw was born lucky," she sighed, plucking away at the ground. "Pretty face, pretty name. Sweet and little. Our medicine cat decided she had a gift, and just like that, the moon turns for her. Sorry to my clan if that makes me feel a little cheated," she grumbled. "And, even with all that, I didn't make a fuss. I tried to be a good sister. Sometimes, I dreamed that I'd be deputy, and we'd both have some say in things... together. This piece of the forest would be ours to defend. The borders would be tight, the prey always running. We could have made sure no one's mother ever had to starve again. And what does she do instead? She makes everything about her. and books it. So much for dreams... it was foolish of me to think that anything I did would matter so long as Eveningpaw was involved."  Her yellow eyes blinked, registering a tingling sensation in her sinuses. Her eyes were watering. No! No! Stop! Don't you dare!

Quickly, the apprentice growled, lifting her forepaws up and smashing them back down to the ground, razor-sharp inhale absorbing any tears that may have fallen. Grief was making her much too talkative. She stole a nervous glance at the rogue. This was a wild cat, just as Iniko was a wild cat. No matter what he made her feel or think, she never let the wall fall for even a second. She could not make that mistake with this she-cat. "I'm getting too ahead of myself," she barked. "Tanglepaw is my name. For the fur."