Castle on a Cloud

Freckleface was always sure of her what she was doing before she took action.

From an early age, it was something her mother, Cardinalcry, had instilled in her, and she'd never forget it. There was never a moment where the little she-cat doubted what she was doing or saying, because she'd always thought about what she was doing beforehand. It was supposed to keep her out of trouble- something Cardinalcry had likely intended for Pumapaw to focus on in their younger years, as she'd always been a bit more troublesome than Freckleface was. No matter, it was still a lesson that the small brown tabby took to heart. It had done her well, too. Thus far she hadn't gotten herself into too many predicaments, at least not that she couldn't get herself out of.

Padding out of the warrior's den, the young warrior let her paws lead her to Flintstar's den. Looking back to the freshkill pile, she noted that there wasn't an immense need for more prey, especially not since New-Leaf had started. The sun had just set and silverpelt twinkled high above them, and she was sure that Ravenmist had plenty of hunting patrols planned for the day. This would be nothing more than a simple border patrol- sort of. With a light chuckle, the she-cat peeked her head into the den, and when her gentle eyes landed on Flinstar, she said softly, "Flintstar? Would you join me for the dusk patrol?" She'd thought long and hard about this- and she was sure of it.

Flintstar laid curled in his nest, his muzzle tucked neatly under his tail as he stared into one of the darker corners of his den. His paws tugged at the moss beneath him as he sat there in silence, thoughts racing through his head that robbed him from any attempts to sleep. His mind always came back to the most recent Gathering, of the StarClan cats who had truly made themselves and their goals known. Of how Finchstar had been killed - rather...Peacefully, but still killed.

And what it meant for the rest of the forest.

The leader huffed, eyes closing as he still struggled with the fear he hated so much. More than ever, he knew the power of them. Their claws were sharp but they didn't even need those to kill a leader. He also knew that many of his Clanmates did not approve of them...And that sooner or later, their harsh gaze would turn upon ShadowClan and he would have to make a choice. He...Think he knew the path he wanted to take, even if he couldn't be certain how it would turn out. But surprise was ShadowClan's greatest weapon so if he as able to get close enough without them suspecting...

A voice broke him from his thoughts, claws slowly retracing as he raised his head to look at the entrance. Basked in the fading light was Freckleface, her expression soft as she spoke. There was a few heartbeats of silence as he took in the sight of his friend, quietly reminding himself of why he would not stand for The Righteous Few's plans. Because they would not approve of not only his siblings, but of Freckleface. But she was his best - and perhaps only - friend...And he wouldn't let them do away with her simply because of her mother's blood. "...Of course," he breathed as he pushed himself to his paws, shaking away the moss that still clung to him before he padded over to her.

"...How...Are you faring?" he questioned, eyes lingering on her as he pushed past. He suspected the events of the Gathering was taking its toll on everybody - his toll was perhaps the new weight on his shoulders with the knowledge of what would come but...He...Did suppose that not everybody would take seeing Finchstar die with such...Eh...Grace, as he did. Seeing a leader die was nothing new after his mother's death - and it was a rather peaceful one but a death was still a death and he suppose that it would not be easy to...Deal with, even if he was from a different Clan. That was something he had come to realize so quickly, that he did not take death as harshly as others. All he felt toward Finchstar's death that it was a shame - perhaps the slightest anger toward the The Righteous Few for their deed but other than that... Nothing like the wailing of those WindClan cats.

Pure delight raced through Freckleface's small frame when Flintstar agreed to attend the dusk patrol with her. Though it could be argued that she was already as happy as she could possibly be, her expression seemed to grow a little brighter when he brushed past her, and she simply stood and watched as he walked a few more pawsteps. His question hardly registered in her mind until she shook her head a bit and began walking alongside him, her small paws falling into place right next to his. She still didn't know quite how she was supposed to feel after the last gathering- she much preferred to focus on the more positive things, so that's what she'd done. Besides... It wasn't like she could bring Finchstar back, as much as she wished she could have. "I suppose I'm doing okay. I mean... Worried, of course. Who isn't, though, y'know? Any cat that can strip away the lives of a leader with nothing more than a simple touch... It's just horrifying, I guess. But... I don't think that ShadowClan has done anything wrong? So... So maybe they'll just leave us alone, hopefully." Her response was an unusually poor mix of words that had been strung together without much thought, perhaps because she hadn't actually taken the time to think about how she felt about the matter.

Shaking out her thick tabby fur, she ducked through the camp exit and into the marshy territory, eyes drifting slowly across the horizon. The sky was painted in the darkest shades of lavender, with streaks of mahogany and gold near the bottom. It was breathtaking, and she was glad that she'd chosen today, that she'd chosen now to do what she had to. She gently placed her tail on Flintstar's flank as she stared into the sky, dimly aware of silverpelt twinkling just above her. "What about you?" The she-cat asked absentmindedly, referring to the situation she'd just released an unceremonious word vomit about.

Flintstar easily fell into step next to Freckleface, lumbering besides her as swiftly answered his question - in fact his ears had to perk to catch all of the words as she stumbled over them - as they left the camp. That was...Yes, that was about what he was expecting. He wasn't best at guessing the emotions of others but fear was something he was used to recently and had come to accept that it was the general...Air of the Clan since the Gathering. As she stepped closer, putting her tail on his side he unconsciously shifted closer as well, dwelling on answer. How hopeful she was that ShadowClan hadn't done anything wrong but... He had a feeling that ShadowClan was not free - not with her and his siblings here. No, the Righteous Few had spoken poorly of the half-blooded cats and the most vicious of the group seemed to be watching ShadowClan...And he had a feeling that he would be ordering him to do things soon enough. That the price of his mother's mistake would perhaps he felt upon the shoulders of his siblings - and also his, as he would not allow them to bear it alone.

But...Perhaps it was not best to worry Freckleface. She was so sweet, so kind... He could not crush her spirit with his doubts. Perhaps things would be fine, perhaps ShadowClan would be okay. He raised his head, a soft sigh escaping him as he finally chose to respond. "Worried is...Fair. I suppose I am as well. I am leader after all, it is my duty to protect you and so I worry about how to best do that," he said as he stared up at the sky, at the stars that sparkled high above. He had been given nine lives - a few of them standing out in his head more recently than others. Of Protection. Of Justice. And he had come to the conclusion that what The Righteous Few wanted...Was not justice. It was not fair. And even if they would take all of his lives...Then it would be in the name of ShadowClan that he fell, not in honor of their twisted ideals. Perhaps it was foolish to stand against such powers...But his Clanmates had been outspoken in how they felt about these StarClan cats and he was inclined to agree. He would not be controlled by fear any longer, not even under their threats. "But we will be fine, I am certain. We are strong and we stand together...And we have done nothing wrong and justice will see us through," he hummed, perhaps trying to convince himself just a bit.

Freckleface nodded along as Flintstar spoke, making a mental note of his words. She was already almost certain that ShadowClan was innocent, and Flintstar only confirmed that. "I suppose it can be confusing, too." The little she-cat said gently, tracing the toms gaze up to the stars. "We all speak of justice, but each of us has differing views of what justice actually is. In a way, we're all fighting for justice... But justice just isn't the same for us as it is for them." Shaking her head a bit, the petite ShadowClanner slowed her pace. Talking about the Righteous Few certainly sent a chill up her spine, and she didn't particularly enjoy it. At the moment, however, it was all that ShadowClan really had to talk about. It filled each of her Clanmates' minds, including her own. The tabby she-cat hated how much attention the Righteous Few were getting for their actions because it only fueled their hate- their cause.

When the duo had finally reached a good place to settled down, Freckleface stopped and turned to face Flintstar. She'd been so sure about what she had to do before, but as she stood here facing him, she felt the slightest bit of apprehension building in her chest. "I... I have something to tell you," She said quickly, blurting it out quickly before she could change her mind. She settled into a comfortable position, sitting with her fluffy tail resting on her tiny paws. "Flintstar... I know we can be very different at times. I mean... it's a good thing, of course, because it makes things interesting. And I think that might be why... Oh, stars," Freckleface's pelt grew warm as she began to stumble over her words, her eyes shifting from Flintstar's to her paws. "I really, really like you, Flintstar..." Lifting her eyes, she met Flintstar's glowing yellow ones. "I think... I think I love you." The she-cat's whiskers trembled slightly as she looked up at the tom, unable to read his expression. She'd never admit it aloud, but she was afraid that he wouldn't feel the same... That he'd feel the opposite. She waited as patiently as she could, though, tail tip twitching slightly.

Flintstar huffed a little as Freckleface went on about justice. He...Supposed it was true, that the Righteous Few did truly think themselves as...Righteous. That their way was correct, that they had no faults. It wasn't an easy thing to think about, to accept. That they saw themselves as heroes, that he and those who weren't so easily tempted to follow their ways was villains but...That was how it went, didn't it? Nobody ever wanted to admit they were wrong, that they were...Evil. He understood that much.

He didn't have a chance to think of a response before she spoke up again, causing him to look over at she settled down. She had something she wanted to say? Ah, well he suppose he couldn't have expected this walk to be as simple as that. Of course she would have a reason to go out with him and he settled down next to her as she started to go on. She noted their differences but how it wasn't a bad thing... Their eyes met, and three words that the leader never expected to hear left her mouth.

'I love you.'

...Love.

Flintstar had heard that word a few times throughout his life, but he had never quite understood it. He had always acknowledged that there were bonds that connected different cats. The respect he had for his mother, his...Erm...Tolerance of some of his Clanmates. The friendship that he once had with Basildrop and now had with Freckleface. But none of them were love.Familial bonds. Friendship. But nothing as 'grand' as love in the romantic sense. That was what he had always fail to grasp - the blind...Reverence for another cat. Something so strong that cats apparently would forsake their loyalties for it. He had seen his mother accept runaway lovers - heard of how Dappleshine had fallen in love with a WindClan cat and now called the moor her home. He had seen the...Sappy moments between Ravenmist and Daisyheart, their adoration for their many kits.

But he only felt confused by it all, uncertain on what could drive cats together in such a way. Friendship was...Nice, yes. But their loyalty to their Clan felt like everything. He did not understand something that was so powerful to make even the smartest cats be foolish - examples like his mother's affair with Torrentstar, which had not only broken the bonds of loyalty to ShadowClan - but her relationship with his father... Not that he was ever sure there was true love between his parents. Not how he had heard it described at times. And now here he stood, faced with the reality that Freckleface, his best friend, was in love with him.

It was a...Confusion situation as he tried to work on what to say, to figure out how he...Felt about the confession. Already he knew a single thing - he did not feel the same way. For as special of a relationship he had with Freckleface, he was certain his feelings were nothing more than friendship. It did not match up with how he had heard Daisyheart go on about his feelings for Ravenmist every once in a while. There was no real yearning to be with Freckleface when they were separated - he enjoyed her companionship to be certain and would seek it out when the moment arose but... It was not something that ate away at him when they went to their separate nests - separate dens - every day. His thoughts were more than just Freckleface at any given moment. He was not blinded by his friendship with her - although he did suppose the fact that his loyalty was with her as a member of ShadowClan made it hard to judge that.

No, he was not in love with Freckleface and that made this moment all the more awkward. But... His whiskers twitched as he thought more about it...And finally, he spoke. "Freckleface, I am...Honored by your feelings but I do not feel the same way. I am not...In love with you," he explained carefully, locking his gaze on her. "It is not against you - I...Do honestly think such feelings are beyond me. That such romantic...Feelings were not meant for me. But...I...Do enjoy your companionship. You are the only cat that I can say I see as my best friend - my only true friend in ShadowClan," he added. "Other than for my family, you mean the most to me and you are...Well, you are somebody I do suppose I could see myself being...Happy with. I may not...Love you romantically, but I do love you as my best friend. So, if you are willing, I may be open to giving this a...Try. Erm, to be in love with me means that you wish to be...My mate, yes? An effort to be mates then, as I do believe that nobody would ever be as dear to me than you currently are. I do not exactly know what goes into such a relationship but for you, I will try if you think this is...Agreeable."

To love and be loved was Freckleface's primary goal in this life. She'd spent her entire life thus far chasing that neverending feeling of euphoria, dreaming of the day she'd finally be happy with her true love. In the very few moons that she'd been able to spend with her mother, the bond between them had grown strong, leaving a pit in her soul when she'd left. Countless moons, she'd spent chasing love, in an attempt to fill the void her mother had left. And she was sure that she'd found it, positive that it was going to be hers- so when those words left Flintstar's mouth, her world seemed to collapse. Her head sunk between her shoulders, and she curled her tail around her body. She felt vulnerable, like the entire world was watching her be rejected by her one true love. Her fluffy tail did little to protect her, and it wasn't as comforting as it had been in the past.

A whirlwind of emotions filled her head as Flintstar continued to speak; her heart rate was rising rapidly, her breathing unsteady. How could love be beyond anyone? Love fueled her and she'd truly believed it was the same for everyone else. But... perhaps love wasn't beyond the fluffy gray leader, but romance in the true sense of the word was. It didn't really make sense to Freckleface, but she felt compelled to try and understand- to feel what Flintstar was feeling... Or not feeling. Her confusion only grew as he continued, speaking of how she was his best friend- that wasn't horrible, she supposed.

Mounting uncertainty grew in her chest as he spoke of being happy with her, knowing that he didn't truly love her in the way that she loved him. How two cats could be happy when they felt differently about each other was beyond her, but she listened with her gaze locked on her own paws. When the word 'mate' registered in her mind, she lifted her head to make eye contact with him, her jaw parted in confusion. If he didn't love her as a mate, then why was he proposing such an idea? The thought of it excited her, but it was balanced out by her feelings of disappointment and doubt. "I... I suppose that's okay..." She said dejectedly, hoping he wouldn't pick up on it too much. She didn't want to make him do something if he didn't want to, but he had offered... It couldn't hurt to give it a try, she supposed."Trying can't be... That bad..." Looking up to him with glassy amber eyes, she waited for what he might say next.

Flintstar was...Confused as he recognized the dejection in Freckleface but couldn't find out why. Was this...Not what she wanted? She loved him, he...Liked her. Being mates was what she had wanted...Right? The leader titled his head, trying to find the words that would help but there was a rush of anger and annoyance, only towards himself, as he found himself helpless. This was so far out of his...Area. He was not good with feelings, mostly those of romance that he did not understand. He could at least grasp the idea of any other feelings but this felt so...Strange to him. He barely understood it and the fact that Freckleface wasn't happy made it all the much worst.

His claws dug into the ground beneath him as he started to tear at the earth behind him in annoyance, mind racing to find the words that would maybe sooth the she-cat's heartbreak. He was a fighter, a thinker, not a...Not one to understand the depths of feelings and emotions. He knew how to shelter her from psychical pain not...He didn't want to hurt her. His tail swished to cover his paws as he kneaded, to try to hide his discomfort as he glanced around any...Inspiration. Any idea for what words would come to him. "Freckleface, I...Do not get me wrong, I love you - as much as I can. I just...What I feel does not line up with the tales of...Romance that I have heard from Daisyflame. And because of the fact that I cannot imagine anybody being more dear to me than you...That is why I do not think such...Romance feelings is not for me."

There was a long silent before he sighed, shoulders going lax and an almost...Helpless look crossed the leader's face, or the closest that he would be able to express as he turned to look at her again. "I...I don't want to muck this up. I don't want to see you...Sad. Upset. I-I understand this may not be what you...Expected. Wanted. Desired," he fumbled, trying to find the right word as he tried to guess whatever feelings Freckleface was truly feeling. He had come to see Ravenmist and Mothglow as his hearts - the ones to help him figure out the...Feelings of others but this felt like one matter he couldn't turn to them on. "This is...Confusing grounds for the both of us, I...See that. I want to make you happy, Freckleface. And I think...I think this would make me happy as well. It might not be...Exactly what is expected but I also don't see why it...Erm...Wouldn't work, I suppose. You mean...Everything to me, Freckleface. I-I know that to be true, even if it isn't...Romantically."