The Love That I Found [Closed]

“Come on! Come on, come on, come on!” Honeytongue was bouncing around at the entrance of the RiverClan camp, circling in excitement as she waited for Ivystar and Stormbringer to join her. It had been odd to be the one to ask the leader and deputy to join her on a border patrol but she couldn’t help but giddy. She had thought long and hard about this moment and it was time, she was going to tell them, the both of them, how she felt. There wasn’t any time to dance around her feelings any longer - recent events had only reminded her how fleeting their time truly was.

Any moment could be their last, and she didn’t want to live or die with this regret.

She wasn’t quite sure what words she would say, it was hard to know how the other two would feel or react. But how she felt was important to her, perhaps they wouldn’t feel the same way but she had to let them know. She loved them, loved them in a way that even surprised her. They meant the world to her, to make even the hardest times worth bearing. It felt only right that they learned how much she adored them. She ceased her bounding to look at them, one paw raised as her tail swished behind her. She knew this wouldn't be easy - she couldn't begin to understand what they had seen at the gathering but...

She loved them. She understood that much.

The gray deputy was.. disheartened to say the least. With what happened at the gathering, the warnings, the threats from the five. Finchstar's death.. She was certain fear was coursing through her veins mostly these days. She didn't want any attention to fall on Riverclan.. Not again. First Torrentstar then Thornstar then Finchstar.. Who was next? When would Starclan be satisfied?

So when Honeytongue appeared, dragging both Ivystar and her out to the territory, as much as she wanted to refuse, she couldn't. Maybe a patrol would be exactly the thing she needed to get her mind off the gathering. Though she didn't quite understand the golden warrior's excitement. It certainly was a bit infectious though. A small brightness was blooming inside her chest that was certain, especially from seeing Honeytongue's kit like behavior in making the other two cats hurry up.

"We're coming, we're coming." The deputy responded in a playful tone. "We still have plenty of time for this patrol, so we don't need to be in a rush, right Ivystar?" The deputy asked looking back to her leader.

Tensions had been high since the previous gathering. Ivystar was sure that the self-proclaimed Righteous Few had more plans than she could comprehend, and she was almost positive that it wouldn't be impacting her Clan in a positive manner. Knowing such things was taking quite a toll on the she-cat, but she was doing everything that she could to protect her Clanmates; to keep them safe both physically and emotionally. The latter was more difficult, as she couldn't shield them from the events of the gathering. She could try and soothe them, but she'd never been good at such things. The best she could do, in her mind, at least, was continue to go about her life as she normally would. Caution was at the forefront of her mind, but she wouldn't show it. Her Clanmates didn't deserve to live a life of fear, and she'd do everything within her power to make sure that they didn't.

Since Finchstar's death especially, Ivystar had been on her toes. She made sure that she didn't put herself in vulnerable positions or endanger any of her Clanmates when on patrols, staying within the borders at all times. She made sure to instill the fact that all rogues must be run off into her warrior's minds, knowing that it had been the main reason for Finchstar's execution. When Honeytongue had come to her asking for her presence on a patrol with both Stormbringer and herself, she was quite reluctant to say yes. Not because she didn't want to go on a patrol with the pair of she-cat's, but because she was afraid, though she'd never admit it out loud. She was afraid for her two best friend's safety, because she knew full-well the lengths that the star-spangled StarClan leaders would go to in order to get what they wanted. If she was to be taken advantage of in the same ways that the other leaders had been, she didn't want them there to see it. Or if, StarClan forbid, the Righteous Few decided to use Honeytongue and Stormbringer against her... The silver tabby didn't even want to imagine it.

Her thoughts couldn't run much farther from her grasp, as they were interrupted by the cheerful chirping of Honeytongue, and the playful remarks of Stormbringer. A warm smile wormed its way onto her muzzle, and she nodded her head gently before padding forward. "I suppose so," She said in response to Stormbringer's question. Her feathery tail was held low as it trailed behind her, and she pushed the darker thoughts back as she joined her best friends at the entrance to camp.

Honeytongue spared a glance between the two she-cats, expression faltering slightly as she recognized the burden on both of their shoulders, even if they both tried to hide it. She had been horrified when she had heard the news of the Gathering - Finchstar dead, slain by StarClan themselves... She didn't blame them for being scared, uncertain. She herself felt the same way even if everything felt so different for her as she hadn't been there to witness or see the five StarClan cats herself. But that fear only made her choice all that more certain - that she had to say what she wanted now.

With a deep breath, she slowly let her fear fade away as she focused on the words of the she-cats, quickly falling back into her peppy self. There would be time to dwell on everything later, for now she had to be bright and smiling for them. She had learned that perhaps pushing down all her darker feelings wasn't the best, but there was always a time and place to deal with them...And that time was in the comfort of her nest with her friends. Now, she was going to focus on the positive and the news she wanted to share. "I suppose," she said, whiskers twitching as her tail swished behind her. "But, if we do rush, that means more times for cuddles later," she pointed out with a sly smile before she turned and bounded from the camp, shouting over her shoulder. "Now come on! This patrol won't do itself!"

She wasted no time in getting a head start from the pair, mind racing as she tried to think of the best place and way to express herself. She had an idea of the words she wanted to say, of how she wanted to admit her love but even while she had decided she would do it on this patrol...It still took some courage to confirm to herself that she would and try to figure out the words. Things were so scary, so stressful...She didn't want to add on that with something that they might not feel the same way about. But...Well, she would figure it out when the time was right. Now she just had to figure out how exactly to start that conversation...

Despite what the two she-cats had said, Honeytongue's excitement and cheer was quick to return. A small smile remained on Stormbringer's face. Hopefully they could keep her like this.. Hopefully all of the clan could remain happy. The gray deputy watched the golden warrior bound out of camp, calling back to the two cats to hurry up. With a small chuckle and shake of her head, Stormbringer followed after her friend. Of course not nearly going as fast as the other had. Just setting a decent pace so that way they didn't tire out too soon.

A soft smile remained plastered onto Ivystar's maw as she walked alongside Stormbringer, her emerald gaze shifting slowly across the territory as they walked. She was wary; the fur on her back stood on end, and her muscles were tense as they continued on, stepping through the small streams and over larger brooks that they came across. Even the slightest snap of a twig made Ivystar flinch, and she was relatively thankful for the silence that stretched between the remaining two she-cats. It wasn't something that the silver tabby wanted to discuss, not when Honeytongue seemed so... so happy. Joy had become scarce in RiverClan camp, and seeing the she-cat that way warmed Ivystar's heart in a manner that she found herself unable to explain. Both she-cats managed to do that on a regular basis- leave her speechless, that is. They were her light when the world seemed to be filled with nothing but darkness- her stars when the sky seemed pitch black.

Honeytongue happily lead the two she-cats along, sometimes bounding ahead for a couple fox-lengths before she would turn and circle back - careful not to leave them for long. It was almost hard to describe why she was so full of energy, feeling that this was even more than...Normal. But maybe it was the kitish energy that came with the idea of what she was going to do, going to say. She could feel her heart flutter as they carried on...And slowly her pawsteps started to slow as she realized it was time. Suddenly, her throat felt...Dry as she came to a stop, hoping that she wasn't making a mistake. No, this was right. She knew it was so...But it didn't make the sudden fear all that much easier.

She turned her head, not fully turning to stare at the pair as she finally broke the comfortable silence that they had been carrying since they had left the camp. "I...Ah, actually have something I did want to talk to you two about," she said softly, scuffing at the ground with a paw before she drew in a deep breath. She knew what she wanted to say, even if didn't know what words she would use. But, it was a thing based on feelings - perhaps just saying what came to mind would suit her just fine. " ...For the longest time, I felt alone. I... Made myself feel alone with stupid thoughts that told me to hide all my pain and fears so that I could be there for others. But... Mudfrost's death shattered that mask and I sunk to the darkest place I had ever been. But then...You two were there for me - I started to share a nest with you, Stormbringer and when Torrentstar died I... I realized that I wasn't alone. Not anymore. With you, Ivystar, starting to share a nest with us I felt... Well, I felt like I had something to be happy for. Things weren't great - they wouldn't be normal, not ever again but... I was learning to take my happiness where I could get it, to focus on the good because it was so...Nice, it made the heartache that would come later all worth it. But the pain was alright and could be dealt with...Healthily. With cuddles. And something changed. In how I saw the two of you. I..." She paused, a hesitation.

She had spent just moments pouring her heart out to the two but now that it was time to say it, she found herself hesitating even more. Admitting her fears, her sorrows...They were one thing. But to admit the words that could - would - change their relationship forever...Perhaps for the worst, hopefully for the better, she found it stuck in her throat. A fear she wasn't expecting, a fear she thought she had come to terms with. The idea of rejection, of confusion and... No, she had to say it. She had come so far, she couldn't take the regrets that would come. The happiness that it would bring if it all worked out would make this fear seem trivial. So, she closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and whirled to face the two. "Oh lilystems, I love you. Both of you," she pressed, her eyes sparkling with light as she took a step toward the two, a soft wistful smile on her face. "I don't know when it started, when it shifted from friendship to...To this but I know it to be true. You two mean the world to me - being there in a way that nobody else ever has. To wake up seeing your faces, it makes me know that every heartache that I may face is worth it. Just to spend more time with you. Things are...Things are scary, I'm not going to deny that but...That is why I had to say this. Tomorrow is uncertain, so I didn't want to live or...Die with this regret if something was to happen to any of us."

A soft giggle escaped her, airy and warm as she drew back. Her cheeks felt warm as she raised a paw toward her muzzle, thriving in the kitish wonder and glee that came from finally admitting her feelings. It felt so nice to finally have it in the air between the trio - that her feelings finally be known to them instead of just dwelling in her heart. She fell back onto her haunches, closing her eyes to bask in the warmth before she steadied herself to look at the pair. "I...I know this might be sudden. But...That is why I wanted to go out with you two - to give us...Time to talk things out if need be. To figure out if things are going to change between us and how we want to move forward without pressure. I...I'm not expecting you both to feel the same way, I just...Had to get my feelings out there. If...If this doesn't work out, nobody needs to know. I just finally had to say it. I love the both of you, so much more than just as friends."

She paused, letting it all hang in the air for a moment before she perked up with the slightest bit of hope as she glanced between the two she-cats. "...So?"

Amber eyes shined with amusement as they followed Honeytongue's form every time she would move ahead a few tail lengths before circling back to join the other two cats. The energy, the positivity that was coming from her golden friend was certainly infectious. It was enough to take her mind off of the issues that were present, and what had occurred at the previous gathering.

Though the amusement soon changed to confusion as soon as the warrior that was leading them slowed to a stop. Stormbringer's eyes remained on Honeytongue, her head tilting in confusion wondering why they had stopped. Of course soon she was going to get an answer as to why they stopped.

The gray deputy stood in her spot as the other began to speak. Her gaze focused on her golden friend as she spoke, ears perked forward listening with great intent. She wanted to know what was on Honeytongue's mind, enough to pull the two in leadership out to the territory to speak. At first Stormbringer thought it was going to be something bad. Her heart nearly dropping as Honeytongue explained how she felt alone in that time period before, but eventually it changed away from a negative to something positive. The deputy was certainly happy for the fact that Honeytongue found a way to deal with her emotions in a different manner, in something more healthy even if it meant relying on the mentioned deputy or the leader.

But there was another turn to the warriors words. What changed? Stormbringer couldn't help but be curious, but she bit back her tongue to keep herself from interrupting the golden warrior. She didn't really notice it but her heart was pounding. Her mind couldn't find any words to say as Honeytongue hesitated with her thoughts. What was she hoping for? What did her heart know that her mind didn't?

Love...? Love? Is that what this was? Is that what she was feeling towards both of them all this time but she never realized? Her eyes lit up at the words, but at the same time she didn't know what she was so caught up in, so distracted by that she couldn't place the fact that her relationship or at least her thoughts of the other two she-cats were something more than just friendship. Something more than how she treated Poppybloom or Addershade. They were her friends, her clanmates but Ivystar and Honeytongue? She always thought of them as something more for feather's sake! They were precious to her. She always wanted the both of them around, always ready to step up and help either of them, ready to nuzzle them or show them little affection no matter where they were.

"I..." She didn't know how to say this how to formulate exactly what she wanted to say. Her mind and heart both alight with joy, and happiness, and excitement. Her stomach buzzed. She wouldn't be surprised if they looked at her and saw the happiness rolling off of her. It was all so much, and so wonderful to finally name how she felt, to realize how she felt.

"I love the both of you too. I couldn't imagine not having either of you around.. I don't want to go without either of you.. At least not anytime soon." Amber eyes turned to Ivystar, hope sparking in her chest, hoping that Ivystar felt the same way.

Ivystar couldn't say that she was surprised when Honeytongue mentioned that she had something to say. The tabby leader didn't think she'd ever seen the she-cat so excited for something as simple as a patrol, and especially during such difficult times. Settling down, Ivystar turned her ears to face the she-cat, trying to remain wary of any small sounds around her that could indicate danger. As endearing as Honeytongue was, Ivystar still let part of herself focus on the sights and scents around her, knowing what threats surrounded the trio. Her ears drooped a bit when her best friend brought up the darker days, mentioning in detail just how... Depressing those times had been, and still were. She wanted to ask why she'd brought such dreadful things to the surface, but the way she'd ended that sentence left Ivystar on edge. What had changed? Had she done something wrong?

Ivystar tilted her head a bit, watching as several emotions coursed their way through Honeytongue's features. What was going through her head? She opened her maw to ask if Honeytongue was alright, but before she could utter even a word... "Oh lilystems, I love you. Both of you," Oh, stars.

The silver tabby continued to listen with her jaw still parted, taking in the golden she-cat's words. She'd never been ever to actually put her feelings for the other two she-cats into words, but Honeytongue did such a beautiful job at it. Ivystar sat, dumbfounded, as Honeytongue let out a slight giggle. The way her fur reflected the sunlight, her beaming smile as she basked in the warmth... For the first time in only Fishstar knew how long, Ivystar was completely caught off guard. She didn't even register Honeytongue's questioning tone until Stormbringer spoke up, voicing her... Her love. Is this how her parents had felt when they realized their feelings for one another? Did they feel so... So vulnerable? The circumstances were certainly different, as the love between the three of them was within the Code. A deeper part of Ivystar undeniably knew that she loved them equally as much, but there was a faint part of her voicing its doubt...

Not doubt for their love, but doubt in Ivystar's own abilities. Could she love them and protect them all at once? If she too admitted her love, would things change? There were so many reasons that Ivystar's pessimistic side could come up with not to admit the way she felt, but love- true, unwavering love- outweighed them all. "Both of you... You're my best friends..." Her tail tip twitched slightly as she shifted her gaze between the both of them, letting it linger on her paws for a few seconds before lifting it back to Honeytongue's. "I love you too, both of you." Almost as quickly as the negative thoughts had appeared, they vanished, leaving only happiness and glee behind. A smile formed it's way onto her maw as she moved forward to nuzzle them both gently, resting her tail of Stormbringer's back. "So... Does this mean that... We're mates?" The answer to her question was obvious, but putting a title to their love made it feel even more glorious.

Honeytongue waited for held breath, eyes darting between the two as she waited...Then, finally, Stormbringer's voice broke the silence. Her eyes locked onto the pure gray she-cat as she slowly found her words, admitting that she, to, loved them. A laugh escaped Honeytongue, high pitched with relief and joy at it. That at least one of them felt the same way towards her. Then, Ivystar spoke up. Her ears twitched as the leader admitted that she to felt the same way. This earned a squeal from Honeytongue as she wasted no time in diving forward, happily returning the nuzzles from her leader.

"Yes! Oh lilystems, yes!" she gushed, eyes gleaming with hope and joy she had felt like nothing before. Every fear she had felt before was gone as she thrived in the reality she was facing. That her love for Ivystar and Stormbringer were equally matched by the two amazing she-cats. Oh what did she do to ever deserve mates as lovely as them? Even the single thought using that word sent more kitish glee through her. Mates. They were mates. Lilystems - they had been mates in all by title in reality, hadn't they? Sleeping in the same nest, seeking each out as much as they did... They were in love and now they had finally put the word to all of their feelings.

They were in love and they were mates. "Yes, oh pebbles, we are mates! There is no reason to deny it, to bat around the bush. I love you both and I am so happy that you both...That we are..." words failed her and so she resorted to worming herself between the two, curling her tail around Ivystar as she rested her chin on Stormbringer's shoulder. "I'm so happy," she murmured as she pressed her muzzle into the deputy's fur. "Together...I think we can face anything. We'll going to be okay, I just know it."

Mates. Oh stars how she loved that word now. She never thought she would ever have a mate let alone two.. but now being in this situation? She couldn't see it any other way. She loved both Ivystar and Honeytongue oh so much, she didn't want life without them. She had a bright look on her face as she looked up at her two mates. Her amber eyes shining with happiness. "Yes. Mates." She confirmed the word from the others.

She wanted to bask in this moment forever, to be here with them forever but the did come out here to do a patrol so they would still have to follow through on that wouldn't they? "I'm sorry to ruin the moment but we should get back to that patrol. Unless the patrol never existed in the first place?" She asked looking at Honeytongue trying to figure out what the golden she-cat had planned.

When both of the she-cats confirmed that they were indeed mates now, Ivystar smiled gently and rested her head on Honeytongue's shoulder, her tail tip twitching slightly on Stormbringer's back. When the younger she-cat questioned the purpose of the patrol, she chuckled a little and smiled, shifting her gaze to Honeytongue. "I don't think the patrol was every truly a patrol." Letting the sun warm her back, Ivystar kneaded her paws slightly, content to stay where she was forever. She knew that whatever was waiting for them in the future wasn't going to be good, but with the both of them at her side, they would get through it.

Honeytongue blinked as the two she-cats questioned if there was even a patrol, feeling her cheeks grow a little warm as she drew backwards to stare at him. "No! It..Wasn't a complete lie! I did want to do a patrol with you two its just...I happened to have a secondary reason," she defended, before she shook her head and a soft laugh escaped her. "I mean, I just wanted us to give time to...Talk if we weren't on the same rock about this entire relationship. But...Now we can just use it as a reason to enjoy each other's company. Also maybe find out how to share the news to everybody," she acknowledged with a nod of his head. She hopped to her paws, circling around the two in a playful jumps before she bounded a couple fox-lengths away. She came to a stop, glancing over her shoulder with a large smile and sparkling eyes. "Now come on! The border isn't going to check itself and I do want those cuddles afterwards!"

A ringing laugh escaped her as she motioned for them to catch up before she started back down the path. Her heart felt light and airy, like every doubt she ever had was gone. She had done what she had thought impossible - she had admitted her feelings to the two most wonderful and beautiful cats there ever were and they both loved each other and her right back. With them by her side, she felt like there was nothing they couldn't take on. That despite everything, they would be okay. There was a rush of energy at the thought of telling their Clanmates about it, basking in the love that she had found with them. Oh, she understood what had driven Dappleshine to want to be with Raventail. She would follow the two to the end of the stars, knowing that every moment with them would be worth any heartbreak or hardship that she would have to face.

Together, they would be alright.