Mourning a Smudge

Cedarpaw was frozen in shock. Her best friend. Gone. A badger had simply taken his life. Just like that. Nothing felt real. Her life was meaningless. She slumped down, over his body. She shook her head, her eyes streaming. “Smudgepaw....” She whispered to the lifeless pelt of the cat she as loved. He barely got a chance at life. He was just made an apprentice. She knew he would find his family hunting in the fields of StarClan, and one day she might find him there too. With Dovekit. Beartooth, Dovekit, Smudgepaw...who’s next. Ferretnose? Icepaw? Beepaw? Everyone she loved, cats that were part of her family, cats who were her friends. They were disappearing. She looked up at the stars, her eyes full of hatred. “Why?” She sobbed. “Why did you take him from us?” She licked his pelt, like he had done too her only a few days ago. She sat next to him silently, reliving her memories. When she first met him. When they played with Stormpaw. The gathering, when he licked her. All of that was Smudgepaw. And he was gone. She had cried all her tears, she felt nothing. She sat there with her head hanging low. 

Dacedream couldn't believe it. Smudgepaw, Dustcloud's apprentice, had been out on a patrol when a badger appeared seemingly from nowhere and crushed him like nothing. She didn't understand how it had happened - how it could have happened to any cat, least of all an apprentice - and it frightened the first-time queen of newly apprenticed kits to the core. For none of the other cats to have even had an inkling that it was present was disturbing. If it had happened to a warrior they likely wouldn't have survived, but a lone apprentice... Dacedream hadn't known the tom-cat well, it was true. She had been invested in her own kits and the heart-wrenching injury of Houndheart and StarClan's looming threat and had only recently begun to take notice of others again. Her heart hurt with what she saw: Cedarpaw - perhaps his best friend? - crouched over him mourning.

When the little apprentice sat up to glower at the sky, Dacedream felt her fur prickle uneasily. She shifted uncomfortably from where she sat keeping her own vigil a bit further away, as she hadn't known Smudgepaw as well. Now didn't feel like the time to ask StarClan why they did what they did or to question their motives. Dacedream didn't have the heart to stop or correct her, though. What was she to do - correct the way a young cat chose to mourn? All cats wondered why good, innocent cats died. It didn't mean they were defying StarClan. Dacedream simply hoped that was the case for Cedarpaw. The tortoiseshell queen looked at the corpse again. The badger's attack was senseless; it was as though it had crushed him simply to crush him before retreating, paying no mind to the heartbroken cats that it left behind. Surely it was the badger's fault... StarClan wouldn't have punished Smudgepaw for something he never did, right?

Stormpaw padded out of the elder's den. She'd been on elder duty, and afterwards she just sat in there, alone. Half-Clan... That's what she was. The elders practically had to force her out of her den, and what she saw terrified her. Smudgepaw. Dead. It felt like yesterday he was a kit, playing with her and Cedarkit. His apprentice ceremony, becoming her mom's apprentice. Oh, Cedarpaw. Stormpaw let out a mournful cry before she ran over to the apprentice. She couldn't fight back sobs. She didn't hear Cedarpaw's protests. She didn't notice Dacedream. She didn't even know how he died.

All the gray tabby apprentice knew was that he was dead.

icepaw walked out of the apprentice den to see smudgepaw. Gone. She looked at cedarpaw and padded over to her. she sat down beside the mourning apprentice she looks at smudgepaw and licks his ear taking in the smell of badger. One of her best friends are gone. She gave cedarpaw a lick and went off into the snow hiding in it and trying to get away from the sadness. She didnt want to be sad. She wanted to be happy.

Cedarpaw sighed as Icepaw walked away. Smudgepaw would want her to move on. She knew that things would be different, but she knew that somehow it would be alright. StarClan had done everything for a reason. She put her head up, and looked at the gathering cats coming to mourn her friend

Jaypaw sat beside his mother, staring at the mourning cats gathered around Smudgepaw's body. He didn't understand. Why wouldn't the apprentice just wake back up? The young tom didn't quite understand death - he knew that sometimes it happened when cats fought, and sometimes it happened when they got sick, but Smudgepaw hadn't fought. And he hadn't been sick. The badger had just somehow sucked the life right out of him. Jaypaw's brow furrowed as he glanced between his mother, and the other apprentices. She seemed to understand, so maybe he'd ask her one day. Part of him wanted to go comfort the others, but he couldn't bring himself to. He'd hardly known Smudgepaw, so the loss didn't really affect him the way it seemed to do the others.