time to talk

"Strom," Batbite said quietly, gathering her courage. "I think we need to talk about something." It wasn't like they were lacking in time - that was something they had an abundance of as long as they were here. Which was, in fact, precisely what she wanted to talk about. They'd been gone for moons, but she was pretty sure she was ready to leave - no new faces had shown themselves, aside from Raventail's brief time with them.

Strom sat at the entrance to the barn, looking out over the white-encrusted hills rolling to the horizon over snow-laden scrub and bushes. He'd been doing it more, lately, an odd heavyness mixed with a sense of restlessness tingling in his paws. Maybe some part of him hoped he would see a cat coming up the slope, a look of hope on their face as they sought out others who felt the same way they did. No matter how hard he looked, nothing but the occasional breeze or rustling of prey met his ears and eyes.

He shifted his paws underneath him, his eyes turning to the cold blue sky. No one had come. A sigh slipped free of his maw, breaking the silence he'd taken up as he looked out. His wonderful idea to create a place where lost cats could come had failed. No cat needed to come.

Apparently nobody but him had ever been lost. And now... he'd found something, someone so wonderful... but.... He glanced down at his paws, shifting one and watching as it dragged through dried blades of grass and bits of dirt. Now he just felt lost in a different way, his identity shaken yet again.

A sound twitched at his ear, and he turned his head to see Batbite approaching. A slight smile tugged at the edge of his maw, only slightly forced as she came to sit beside him, a look on her face that told him she had something she was going to say even before she opened her mouth.

"Strom, I think we need to talk about something."

He looked back outside, one ear twitching uncomfortably for a moment before he glanced back at her. "I think you're right. If you're going to say what I think you're going to say...." What I've just been thinking of.... He added silently to himself, glancing back out at the white coating the world outside, another sigh slipping free of his maw before he continued, his voice quieter, "We've been here too long."

Batbite had an argument ready, on the tip of her tongue, ready to defend her thoughts - and then Strom voiced exactly what she'd been thinking. "Yes, that's exactly it... We wanted to make a safe haven for cats who felt lost, but it seems no one needed it but us. So I think it's time to go home... But I don't want to go without you."

Strom was one of the most important figures in her life. He'd seen her at her best and worst, and still decided to call her his friend. She'd let herself love him, as hard as it was, and she wasn't going to give that up for anything. He was, perhaps, the best thing that had ever happened to her. But a cat couldn't live their life with only one other for company - or maybe they could, and she was just weak; but if that was weakness she didn't care for strength. What she cared for was family, and she wanted nothing more than to see the rest of hers again.

Strom looked back into her eyes, searching them as she spoke, her words echoing his own thoughts, and he nodded. We're the only ones here. No one else has come in the time we've been here. She's right, no one needed it but us.... And their time here was ending.

"So I think it's time to go home..."

And as the words he'd dreaded came out of her maw, he steeled himself to smile, and say that it was alright, even as he himself didn't know where he would go, or what he would do without her. RiverClan wouldn't want him, and without Bat, he didn't want them. Doomed to wander, like Starlord....

"But I don't want to go without you."

Sudden surprise sent his ears pricking, and he blinked at her. "I... go with you?" He echoed stupidly. That was one thing he'd somehow never thought of as a solution, and the suddenness of it brought a hesitant smile creeping over his face as he looked at her, hope suddenly shining through his glum mood. "You mean into ThunderClan, right?"

"Yes, if they'll take us," Batbite nodded. "We've been gone a long time... I don't even know if Oakstar is still leader, or if he'd welcome me back. But I think it's worth trying. And, well... If you'd rather not, we'll find something else." Wondering what led him to ask that, as though it wasn't a given, she gently headbutted his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere without you, Strom. We came here together, and we'll still be together through whatever comes next."

Strom shook his head, a purr erupting in his throat. "No, I think it's worth trying, it's just...." He leaned playfully back into her as she butted his shoulder, and he grinned, feeling more like himself than he had for a while. "I didn't think it was an option, you know? RiverClan cat in ThunderClan?" He shook his head again. "Torrentstar would kill me."

He gazed at her, the purr still rumbling in his throat as his tone turned more serious - though not too serious. He'd been serious for far too long. "I know. I wouldn't leave you either; not for all the fish in the river."

He tilted his head out the gap in the barn, a grin coming back to his maw. Stars be dammed, he wasn't going to let the shadow of past things stop him from moving on. What was left here for him to mope about, anyway? Starlord was long dead - his spectre fading from the Clans' memory like snow melting under a warm breeze. "Speaking of fish, mice are getting just a little boring out here. When do you plan on us going?"

"It's happened before," Batbite shrugged. "Like Sparkfrost, or Dacepaw. You wouldn't be the first. Besides, you make your own choices - Torrentstar can't tell you what to do or where to go if he's not here, can he? If he tries, I'll fight him," she added lightly, for all her smallish frame and lack of strength meant a guaranteed loss. "I just hope ThunderClan will take us. I want to see everyone again. You know, I didn't think it was possible to miss Pricklebush? But here we are. As for when... Whenever you're ready."

"That's true," He agreed, looking outside again. "I don't really want to go back, anyway." That much was true, he didn't. "But... I grew up there," He murmured, before shaking his head and smiling again. "Old loyalties don't die easily."

He laughed as she lightheartedly said she'd fight Torrenstar if he objected. "I'd like to see him try and win! Especially against both of us," He added, mischievousness sparkling in his eyes.

It faded to thoughtfulness as she answered his question, and he glanced out at the cold world outside, a faint breeze - laden with the chill of leaf-bare - blowing into his face. Whenever he was ready.... There wasn't anything for him here, anymore, just as there hadn't been for him back in RiverClan. They'd stayed here for too long, restlessness replacing the joys of finding a new place, a new life, and now.... It's time. He could feel it in his bones. There was nothing holding him back, nothing to stop him from going, and it was time to move.

A faint smile twitched at his maw again. Maybe I am destined to wander. But if he was, it was into new beginnings, new faces, and a new family to be loyal to. Starlord made mistakes, but he was just a cat. Everyone makes mistakes. I have. Memories of another leaf-bare, and a snowy alleyway flashed across his mind, bringing a chill to his spine in spite of himself. But Starlord didn't learn from his. I will. I won't make the same mistakes he did.

He grinned lopsidedly down at Batbite, the words slipping free of his maw as easy as breathing,

"I'm ready now."

Batbite beamed back up at him, smile radiating a happiness she hadn't felt in some time. She almost felt at peace, knowing that she wasn't going to be alone and that they were both ready to move forward. "Then let's find out what the future holds for us."