don't wanna walk alone [closed]

His heart yowled for the Gorge, his paws for WindClan’s camp, his last strings of common sense for the border where any outsider was meant to wait. When the strain in his legs became too great to continue (for even a WindClanner could only run so fast for so long), Raventail blinked to see a familiar mound of stone rising from the moor. Outlook Rock had witnessed his first talk with Finchstar, lent security to his trembling paws after the deaths of his mentor and friend, shown him bittersweet memories of the lake on those rare days when he had time to sit still. It made too much sense that instinct would lead him there now. The leap forced him to dig into his last reserves of strength. His landing was sloppy but secure, and he navigated across Outlook Rock to the familiar edge. Only then, with his gaze pointed toward the forest, did he let himself catch his breath.

Waves of warm color had begun their slow sweep over ThunderClan and SkyClan’s territories. RiverClan and ShadowClan and fewer trees to speak of, but even their lands were showing signs that leaf-fall had settled in. And WindClan. Hunching his shoulders, Raventail watched the heather bend and ripple under the ever-present breeze. As he’d traveled, he’d caught many of his Clanmates’ scents, both stale and fresh. Whatever blood had stained the moor in his absence, it hadn’t destroyed them. They were fine without him. It hurt, yes; it did nothing to ease the anxiety that sprang up whenever he thought about approaching Finchstar to ask the impossible; but he was glad to know WindClan persisted, as ever.

Though Finchstar was his friend, hopeful and forgiving almost to a fault, he was also a leader. Leaders acted for the good of their Clan. Whatever Finchstar believed that good was, Raventail had no choice but to accept it—demotion to apprenticeship, a season of camp confinement, constant supervision…even exile, if it came to that. But until the moment that decision was made, he would not run. He was at his best when surrounded by some of the brightest, bravest spirits he had ever known, and he wouldn’t give up on that without a fight.

With his tail curled protectively over his aching paws, the small tom stared at the forest below and waited to be found.

The morning had come, the peeking sun filtering through the now colorful leaves of the bush Dappleshine had sought shelter within during the wee hours of the night after one of the biggest heartbreaks of her life, and definitely the hardest decision she had ever had to make. Things would never be the same. As the sun perfectly filtered through the branches surrounding her, lighting upon her eyelids, she had blinked them open. Blue eyes, bloodshot and dull, had taken in her surroundings, confusion clouding them further than her exhaustion.

Ah, that's right. She no longer had a home. At least, not right now. Stiffly finding her paws, she stood and made her way out of the bush, emerging with her back facing the oh so familiar sounds of the gorge. The noise of the rushing water had always been so comforting, and now it only seemed to hold whispers of her decision and fate in it's splashing. There was no going back now, only going forward. How long would she have to wait? The answer to that she didn't know. Wait she would though, and she knew where she was going to start... Even if she wasn't sure how to get there.

She had been walking for what felt like moons, her paws still sore and wounded from the night before. Her tail, ears, and head drooped, a sign of her tiredness and fear, and uncertainty. Perhaps things would be alright. As more time passed with no clear way to WindClan's camp though, her hope had started to falter. Just then, a gray shape in the distance, standing above the rolling moors caught her attention. Perhaps she could get a better view from there, regroup and have a better direction. Turning her paws towards it, she made her way over as swiftly as she could.

Groaning in pain as she bunched her muscles, preparing for the jump, she landed clumsily upon it. Small red streaks were left on the cold gray stone, and she let out a sigh as she lay upon it where she had clumsily landed. At least no one was around to witness her, with her mud-splattered fur and branches tangled in the long wisps of her pelt. It was then that she turned, tired gaze falling on a black cat that looked so familiar, one who had padded through her dreams so often in the last moons.

She stared at the tom for several heartbeats, her own beating faster with each. He was really here, was he? Or was this a dream? How long had he been back, if it was not a dream? Without fully realizing it, her voice broke the silence. "I never imagined I'd meet you here, Raventail. It's been a while, how were your travels? Did your paws bring you home, or are you simply passing through?"

Behind him, a set of paws scuffled against stone. Raventail went rigid. It was one thing to tell himself he was ready to face Finchstar and ask for forgiveness, another to be confronted with it so abruptly. What if he got exiled? What if he never got a chance to see this view again? It was among the least of the things he’d be leaving behind, but it stuck; he continued to stare forward, forcing himself to breathe normally as if that might hold off the panic long enough for him to remember what he’d wanted to say. The cat who had joined him didn’t speak, and so he didn’t move. Something in the air had changed. A new scent, mud and moor and…fish.

Fish.

The apprehension that had seized him fell away. On near-weightless paws, he turned to face his dearest friend, tired eyes alight with wonder. Dappleshine was more disheveled than he’d ever seen her, mud and bits of branches clinging to her fur, exhaustion heavy in her posture and expression, and he had a hundred questions, what and when and how, but none of them mattered quite as much as the fact that she was here.

As he remembered the moor’s many dangers, wonder gave way to worry. He was glad to see her, always, but what could have driven her to Outlook Rock? Raventail managed to stay quiet until she’d finished speaking, eyes darting back and forth in search of wounds that weren’t there. For once, he didn’t move to close the distance between them. At least, not immediately. ”Same to you,” he said. Something must have happened—now that he was truly seeing her past the relief, it seemed all too obvious. Dappleshine wasn’t the type to trespass without reason.

Before he could ask, she gave him a question of her own. When he'd left, he hadn’t known how to answer it; but if there was one thing the barn had given him, it was time and space to think. Raventail allowed himself a small, quick smile and stepped forward. ”The barn was all right. There were some other cats there—Batbite and Strom, they were nice. Batbite…Batbite knew about me, actually. I think Strom might have, too. But after that, they still let me stay. It wasn’t bad. We always had straw for nests and fresh mice and shelter when it rained, and we could do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted, but…” He shifted, glancing back at the sprawling territories beyond the peak. ”Even with Batbite and Strom, I didn’t belong there. It wasn’t home.” Wherever the wind took him, he needed somewhere to go when his adventures were done. He had made his choice. ”WindClan is. And so are you.”

He’d meant to wait until he could be certain he had somewhere to return to—until they could discuss what this meant in full, with all its complications—but there it was. Though their paths had crossed sooner than he'd expected and they were both so clearly tired, he would not hesitate. Half a moon was long enough. His chest was warm and prickling as if he’d trapped the sun itself inside it. ”I guess what I’m saying is,” Raventail said, suddenly quiet beneath the pounding of his heart, ”I found my answer. I love you, and I want to figure this out, whatever it takes.” He wanted to set things right; this would be the first step.

Raventail had gone still, stiffening suddenly. She assumed it had been when he had heard her approach, she hadn't exactly been quiet, hoping to be found or not expecting any other cats around. His gaze remained firmly fixed on... Something, in the distance, and for a moment she feared that he hadn't found his answer yet. Perhaps he was only passing through... As she started to speak though, the breeze brought her scent towards him, and he spun around, quickly, as though he was floating like a leaf on the breeze rather than standing on a stone. His eyes were tired, like hers, and her head tilted slightly as she gazed at him, waiting for his response with the smallest smile.

His eyes searched her pelt, and she wasn't entirely sure what he was looking for. Hope? Maybe, a direction? He wouldn't depend on her for that, he was finding it for himself. Perhaps he was searching for something that was there, but she wasn't sure. Her pelt warmed under his gaze, and she looked down towards her chest, noticing for the first time the dirt stains and leaves and branches embedded and tangled in her fur. Her tail flicked self-consciously, and she turned her gaze upwards towards him again as he broke the silence himself this time. He kept his distance, for now, and as she listened she waited patiently for him to close it, if he so desired.

He took a step forward, with a small smile, and she returned it as he began to speak of the barn and it's inhabitants. An ear flicked at the mention of Batbite, but the other name was unfamiliar to her. Strom? That was odd - where was Minkpaw? Surely he had made it okay? Worry yawned in her belly for her friend, but her attention focused back on Raventail as he said that single word. But. A dangerous word it was, sometimes spelling the end of things dear, or the beginning of something straight from StarClan. It wasn't home. WindClan was. She blinked, preparing to acknowledge those words when the tom before her added four more.

"And so are you."

She stared at him, blue eyes unflinching, unmoving for several heartbeats. There was a nervousness in his expression, but no hesitation, as he elaborated. A purr started to rumble quietly in her chest, the first since he had left half a moon before. She smiled, a bright feature on her dirty, stained face, and took a hesitant step towards him. "Are you sure, Raventail? I have nothing to offer you, other than my love. I have no home, no nest to call my own, are you absolutely certain?" She asked, her voice shaking as tears pricked at her eyes. Her heart begged for him to say yes, while her mind cruelly whispered that he would change his mind once she had explained everything. Blue eyes betrayed her hope that he would confirm. "If you're completely sure, then I will work with you through everything, dark of night or light of day, pain of heartbreak or joy of celebrations. I'll be the wind that fills your wings, and the heather that grounds you, I'll be by your side through it all... But only if you're certain."

Her eyes were fixed on his. Though Dappleshine had made her feelings clear (the words they’d exchanged at the Gorge had bounced through his head from the moment he’d left it; of course he recalled them now), Raventail still felt as if he was teetering on the precipice of some great change, crouching at the Gorge’s edge and praying he would land safe on the other side. Then a faint sound broke through the brief quiet. Purring. He had to strain to hear it, to be sure he was hearing it, and by then a smile was talking shape on Dappleshine’s worn face.

She took a step; he took a step; then she spoke again. ”Are you sure, Raventail?” The glimmer of tears in her eyes sent a jolt through his chest. No home, no nest, as if she could ever be less without them. As if he wasn’t the same. What a pair they made, bedraggled pelts and uncertain futures. They were both a little adrift right now; he wasn’t sure what had torn Dappleshine from her home by the river, and the thought that the only life ahead of him was that of an exile scared Raventail more than he could admit. But what Dappleshine offered was all he could have hoped for. They had always supported each other. Through this, as well—through everything—they would heal side by side, and whether they found their place on the moor or wandered the wilderness, their paths would be one and the same.

Raventail didn’t remember walking forward. Suddenly, he was a mouse-length from Dappleshine. ”Absolutely.” He pressed his nose against the gray warrior’s cheek, her neck, her shoulder. ”Absolutely, entirely certain.” His grin softened, more serious now. ”I can’t be sure I’ll never mess up again. I…honestly, I can’t even be sure WindClan will let me come back.” Saying that aloud made it so much more real. He took a breath, relieved when it didn’t shake. ”But I can promise this much: no matter what happens, I won’t leave you behind.”

Maybe he couldn’t truly keep that promise. The world had its dangers, all of them well beyond his control. It had been Brookclover one day, then Murkpaw, Quailpaw, Puddlepaw; someday, it might be him. He could only guide his own paws and know that, as long as he had a choice, he would choose Dappleshine. To him, that was reason enough to put his word on the line.

”Would you come back with me?” Raventail’s voice was tentative—less uncertainty, more not knowing if he was overstepping. Dappleshine’s scent was still very much RiverClan’s, but she claimed to have no nest, and she was here, deep in WindClan territory. There was every possibility she wasn’t a RiverClanner anymore, at least in name. Later, if she wanted to talk, he would ask. For now, the dark tom closed his eyes and hoped this, too, was the right thing. ”To WindClan, I mean. Finchstar’s one of the most generous cats I’ve ever known. If he can forgive me somehow… I’m sure the camp has room for two more nests, if you’re looking for one."

Raventail's step mirrored her own as the distance between the two of them closed. Not just for a few fleeting moments this time, though, this time the distance would stay closed forever. They would be as close to each other as they desired for the rest of their days, and even beyond in StarClan. Never again would she have to face the sunrise alone, or wake up to the cold surrounding her nest. Never again would she have to lay to rest at night and spend it gazing at the distant stars. Raventail had always been a cat that she could turn to, but he had always been so far away, the invisible border between clans the line that kept them apart.... Now though, she had shed that line away, casting it aside for the chance, the hope, that her heart wasn't leading her astray.

She wasn't the same cat she had been, all those moons ago on the shore. She had aged, fought battles against countless predators, and bore the scars of them. She had raised a kit, and seen her on her way to her place of choice, as much as it had hurt. Through it all, Raventail had been the one constant, the constant force that helped her keep her paws firm, and she had completely fallen for him without even realizing it. Suddenly, he was only a whisker from her, and then he closed it. Her eyes closed as she stayed still, breathing in his scent and basking in his presence. Sunningrocks was nothing, compared to this.

She licked the tom's cheek and neck fur lovingly, the purr growing much louder. Dacepaw would have been proud, exclaiming that it sounded just like hers. Raventail pulled back, his grin softening into a more serious expression, and admitted he wasn't sure if WindClan would allow him to return. After a deep breath, he added a promise, to never leave her behind, and she leaned forward to close the distance again, pressing her head to his chest. "We all mess up sometimes, Raventail, we're only cats. We can't always be expected to be perfect, my love." There was a tinge of bitterness to that last part, but quickly melted away as she continued, looking into Raventail's eyes warmly. "No matter what happens, I'll stay by your side always."

Dappleshine feared nothing, in that moment, not the uncertainty of the path before herself and the tom she cherished, not the beasts she had heard spoken of that wandered the moors, and not Torrentstar. She blinked at his next question, the uncertainty apparent in his voice. She dared not even look in the direction of RiverClan's border with WindClan so far away, just in case she would see a lone figure standing there. She was no longer a RiverClan warrior, Torrentstar had made that point clear as the running water of the river. There was nothing holding her back now, so why were her paws shaking? She had already taken the leap, and it had been finalized with the leap she had made over the gorge. Her time in RiverClan was sealed, finalized as the end by Torrentstar's harsh voice.

"Yes." Her voice cracked and she winced slightly at it, trying again. "Yes, Raventail, I'll go with you. No matter where you go, I'll go with you." She smiled slightly, her tail flicking nervously. Would WindClan accept her? Would they accept him? Only time would tell, but she hoped that someday, somehow, she could prove herself to all of them.... And to Torrentstar. Taking a deep breath, she turned her back on the forest, gazing out over the rolling moors. Casting a quick glance to the black tom, she mewed quietly. "I was actually already searching for the camp, I have been since dawn. I came here to try to get a sense of direction, and maybe a different perspective.... I suppose I found it, didn't I?" Twining her tail briefly with his, she waited for him to begin to lead the way. There was a lot to explain, she was sure... A lot she needed to explain. Hopefully Raventail could wait just a little longer so she could explain it to WindClan and him all at once.