Aspenpaw's Medicine Cat Apprentice Ceremony

Mintwhisker stretched luxuriously, rolled her shoulders, shook out her fur, and yawned loudly before picking up the two bundles of herbs that she'd placed beside her nest the night before. Although she wasn't used to Windclan's medicine cat den, Mintwhisker was grateful that they were so close to Highstones. The walk wouldn't take all day- she and Aspenpaw would have some time to sightsee, perhaps hunt a little... it would be a lovely break from the grueling hike she usually had to make.

"Aspenpaw." Despite her good mood, the small taupe tabby knew that she couldn't just drop her facade. Teaching Aspenpaw would be no simple task, and despite his willingness to become a medicine cat apprentice, Mintwhisker knew that she had her work cut out for her. "Wake up. It's time to go." She pushed the tom's herb bundle towards him with one paw and exited the den, blinking in the sunlight. Skyclan was fortunate enough to have plenty of shade in their territory to block the sun, but the heat and light were completely unobstructed in Windclan's unsheltered territory. "We need to get moving if we're going to get there before afternoon- I don't want to walk in the full heat of day."

Aspenpaw wasn't really asleep when Mintwhisker nudged him. He was already awake, thoughts of his life to come pestering him every moment. It was an odd  sensation, to leave everything behind. Was he bitter? Angry? No, not quite. He didn't feel cheated, like he thought he would feel. A strange peace took over his body that night, and it forced him to come to terms with his decision. WindClan needed a strong medicine cat. He needed to be strong for them, when they had nobody else to be strong for them. He rose to his paws a little slowly, and without his jokes. Now, of all times, he decided to take himself seriously. That made him laugh. He was about to abandon all his training, and not one comment crosses his lips. To think: Aspenpaw was actually happy with his decision. That in itself made him smile. In another lifetime, he figured his warrior ceremony would've been today. It seemed like his "paw" name would have to wait another few moons.

He felt frailer in his body, but his mind felt strong and hardened by the task at hand. When he followed Mintwhisker out of the den, he snuck a peek at his reflection in a puddle. He did not look like a kit anymore. He had grown. That was a scary thing, to be grown, to have his always too-big ears finally match his face. What startled him was the tiredness in his eyes, the tiredness of every senior warrior in the clan mirrored right back at him. He hated it. In that moment, he made a promise to himself. It was a silent decree heard by no one but StarClan: "I won't let this job break me. I have everything to lose and everything to gain. I must be strong. I must be strong."

With his secret vow fresh in his mind, and with lifted spirits, he matched pace with Mintwhisker. WindClanners, being naturally long legged, generally stood taller than the average cat. Aspenpaw was no exception. "Is there a reason we have to leave so early if we don't have to be there until moonhigh?"

"You'll be glad to be out of the sun by the time we get there," Was all Mintwhisker said. She kept her eyes trained on the horizon, although every so often she glanced back at the young tom to make sure he was following close behind. They soon fell into an uncomfortable silence, occasionally broken by a few comments from Mintwhisker; "Watch your step," or "Don't trip."

A few hours later, Mintwhisker and Aspenpaw finally reached the base of Highstones. "Stay a tail-length or so behind me," The murky-eyed she-cat instructed. She never worried when apprentices from her own clan when they made the trek up the mountain, but Windclanners weren't particularly known for their climbing abilities. Every misplaced pawstep sent a shower or dirt and pebbles bouncing down the steep hillside, and each time Mintwhisker froze and turned, her hackles raised, to see if Aspenpaw was still on his feet. If he had a seizure now, she would have no way to get him to safety.
When they finally made it to Mothermouth, Mintwhisker let out a sigh of relief. "Right. It's not yet sunset, so we'll stay out here for an hour or so. There are lots of mice here- feel free to hunt, as long as you stay close." With that, the Skyclanner settled down in the opening of the tunnels. She settled her chin on her paws, her eyes following the gray tabby in case he began to have a seizure.

---

The sun was setting. "Aspenpaw, it's time." Mintwhisker's voice was hoarse and she cleared her throat. "Use your whiskers to navigate. I'll keep my tail stretched out behind me- hold it if you're having difficulty orienting yourself." Starclan, she was exhausted. She barely had enough energy to formulate a sentence, let alone be as courteous as she should.
After what felt like ages, the pair emerged into the main chamber. The moonstone had yet to brighten, but Mintwhisker wasn't worried.
She couldn't see Aspenpaw, but she could hear him. She turned towards the gray tom, her voice echoing throughout the large chamber. "Aspenpaw." The voice that bounced off the stone walls was hers and not hers, alive, and yet unearthly. It was the voice of generations of medicine cats, Starclan's link to the world of the living.
"Is it your wish to enter the mysteries of Starclan as a Medicine Cat Apprentice?"

The apprentice was thankful for the break when they stopped. The silence was deafening the entire trip, and he was slightly irritated by the tail's length Mintwhisker kept him at. He never felt this tense with his mentor before. Was she annoyed by his demeanor? Did she not trust him? That was the most frightening idea of all. Why were they here, if not because she believed in him?

He feared he could not muster the strength to believe in himself. Aspenpaw childishly decided to return her coldness. He stayed quiet, not looking at her, and maneuvered around the various rocks. It reminded him of the mountains. Instead of hunting, which he didn't want to admit he was horrid at, he focused on relearning his limbs. By the time the sun began to go down, he had figured out the level at which his paws trembled and could balance himself without stumbling. It was a start. He ended his free time lying down. He watched the sunset. He felt nothing.

Aspenpaw was overwhelmed with emotion when he padded slowly into the cavern. The stone gleamed with the spirits of those who came before him. When Mintwhisker spoke, he suddenly imagined a different future where those words were said in camp to an assembly of all those he loved. A future where the sacred vow was spoken by Finchstar. Inexplicably, Aspenpaw began to weep with no sound. He didn't even know why the SkyClan medicine cat was doing this for him. What made him worthy? Would StarClan even accept him?

He still hadn't entirely accepted this new version of himself. Aspenpaw the Diseased. Why did he even feel like he had to do this? Why did he feel tugged, pulled by his whiskers by an invisible force? Why did Mintwhisker look at him like he had no idea what he was talking about? He was angry, hurt, confused, hopeful, annoyed, bitter, proud, miserable, deprecating...

He swallowed. Not this time. Not here. He would not erupt, he would not become a gust of wind, he would not flood. Teal eyes meeting his future mentor's, he sucked in and replied in the quietest whisper. "I do."

The young tom's eyes met Mintwhisker's. In them, they held the light of the Moonstone, half-lit, flickering.

"I do."
As soon as those words left Aspenpaw's mouth, the Moonstone shone brightly. Instantly, the cavern was bathed in brilliant white light. Mintwhisker let a smile tug at her maw. She dipped her head and turned away from the tom, directing her words at the stone itself.
She knew the words of the Windclan apprentice ceremony, and could recite it as well as that of her own clan. However, something told her that this ceremony was different. Her tattered ears twitched as she recalled the words Featherlight spoke to her, and the ceremony Mintwhisker had done for Amberkit.
"StarClan, the time has come for me to appoint an apprentice." Her voice echoed throughout the cave, powerful, many. She glanced back at Aspenpaw, her murky eyes bright. "I present to you, Aspenpaw of Windclan. He has chosen the path of a medicine cat, and will dedicate his life to healing all who need it. Grant him your wisdom and insight so that he may understand your ways and heal his Clan to the best of his ability.
"From now until you receive your full name, you shall be known as Aspenpaw, medicine cat apprentice of Windclan. May StarClan light your path with their strength, and pass their knowledge through you."

Mintwhisker blinked, feeling her body relax. "The ceremony is almost complete." Her voice was hers again. "Press your nose to the Moonstone, and sleep. Starclan will be with you soon."

Aspenpaw looked to Mintwhisker as he walked slowly to the Moonstone. He felt strange, a combination of peace and foreboding. The weight of the moment was suffocating and freeing, a paradox of emotions and sensations. He touched his nose lightly to the Moonstone. What awaited him there was up to StarClan. He gave in to slumber, and he felt a foreign sensation wash over him like a wave. It was like a seizure, but... pleasant.

He opened his eyes to a world of stars.

---

A figure with a pelt soaked in glowing lights approached him. Her sage-colored eyes were calm pools of stagnant water, reflecting the glory of the heavens within them. Her grey and white fur shone with the beauty of many seasons of rest, and she had a happiness about her. The strange she-cat approached him and purred at his arrival. 

"Greetings, Aspenpaw. My name is Sageleaf. I was once the medicine cat of your clan."

Aspenpaw couldn't help but grin. This was just the cat he needed to see. "Sageleaf, I need you to tell me, truly, if StarClan has accepted this for me. This wasn't supposed to happen, this wasn't written in the stars, this... this was an accident!"

The starry cat laughed a little. "You are just like me, young one. When StarClan gave me my destiny, I was inclined to fight it. I was supposed to be a warrior, too."

"I can't do this! What if Mintwhisker was wrong? She doesn't even seem like she wants me to do this!"

"Your mentor is a wise cat. She acts the way she does to test you. If she treated you like a friend, you will not learn. And if this was not the way, StarClan would have not revealed themselves to you." Sageleaf moved closer, smiling. "You will always have a place among the stars. Soften, little Aspenpaw. Softness... is not always a bad thing."

The apprentice bowed his head silently. The agony of not being good enough, of failing the ones who placed their trust in him was too much to bear for a second time. 

Sageleaf sighed and tapped Aspenpaw's chin with a paw. "Follow the thing that has pulled you. Do not forfeit your strength. Guide yourself when nobody is there to guide you. Your ferocity can be channeled. Above all..." Her eyes narrowed as she continued seriously, "Understand that this was a choice. This was never your only option. If your doubt runs deep, turn back. Nobody is forcing this on you."

"No! No. I want this," Aspenpaw pleaded. Sageleaf modded, satisfies. His testimony was truthful. She began to turn around and pad away when he suddenly spoke again. 

"If you see Brookclover, please, tell her that I'm sorry. Tell her that I know how much she meant to everybody... Tell her that Finchstar will be okay... and... and... Tell her that I miss her too."

The starry cat smiled. "She knows."

---

Aspenpaw woke up with a start, staring bug-eyed at the Moonstone. He had tears in his eyes that he was not aware he had formed. The now medicine cat apprentice turned to Mintwhisker and met her eyes with intensity. 

"I'm ready."