(
time to cry)
Gloomy, newleaf clouds covered the sky as rain began to pour down, soaking his dark grey pelt and causing the elderly cat to look even more ragged and mangled than he already was.
Staring up at the tall barrier that separated the clans from the Twolegs, Smokepelt took a deep breath. He’d never imagined that he’d even consider doing such a thing, but here he was; about to seek out his daughter, Kindleblaze, who’d supposedly become a Kittypet after her exile. Great Silverpelt, how much he’d been through in his lifetime and why StarClan had let him live as long as he did was a question he asked himself everyday. From being appointed deputy, to almost starting a war and then being demoted, to having been at odds with his mother for the longest time… and not to mention his mistake of being too harsh on his kits, especially his first few litters. Which led him to wonder, even if he
did find his daughter, would she show him any grace, much less let him join her?
More nervous than he’d felt in many,
many moons, the tall elder jumped up to the top of the fence. Almost losing his balance, he unsheathed his claws and quickly regained his footing. Looking around, the sight of the rows of Twoleg homes was nothing he’d ever seen before and any hope he had of finding Kindleblaze quickly fell. How would he possibly find her with so many places to look?
Sitting down, Smokepelt closed his eyes and wrapped his tail around his white paws. A shiver was sent up his spine as the sudden boom of thunder sounded in the distance and lightning cracked just overhead. If anyone was to see him now, they’d surely think he was a pathetic excuse for a cat, especially a clan cat. Standing up, he turned back towards the clan territories, about to let go of such a crazy notion in which he joined his daughter, but just as he was about to jump down from the top of the fence line, an all too familiar voice sounded behind him.
”Smokepelt?”Snapping his head around with perked ears, his heart practically jumped out of his chest. Standing in front of him was who he’d came looking for; his daughter, Kindleblaze. Her slender form hadn’t changed one bit and while the rain plastered her pelt to her sides, looked as though she’d been eating well.
”It… it’s me,” he choked hoarsely as if a frog was suddenly in his throat.
”Why are you here?” she asked him, her tone not hostile, but not exactly excited either. The explanation to such a question was long and demanding as far his memory went, but it was an expected question, so he couldn’t deny her of an answer.
”Ashstar, Cedarfur, Ryecloud, Goatshade… they’re all gone. Kindleblaze, I have no one left. I’m old, too old for clan life and I… I can’t stand it anymore. Quailfeather lives, but she’s happy with her mate. I’ve had more kits, but them and their mother fair fine on their own and I’m not much use to them anyway,” he mewed, his eyes dull and sunken in from restlessness and sleepless nights. Cedarfur’s death had ultimately crushed any remaining spirit that he’d been holding onto and he didn’t know if he’d ever stop grieving for his Uncle and bestfriend. Opening his maw to speak again, he quickly shut his crooked jaw, deciding that he’d better give her a chance to respond. While what he said might have sounded like him looking for pitty, it was simply the truth and a disappointing one at that.
Waiting in silence on her response for what seemed like ages, he internally feared what she had to say towards him. Whatever she said, even if it was simply dismissing him, he knew he had to respect it.
”I see,” the she-cat began, taking a few moments to collect her thoughts while also silently mourning the loss of her clanmates she’d once known.
”First off, my name is just Kindle now,” she mewed stoically, trying not to sound too harsh. Seeing that her father was still alive was of course a relief, but with all that had happened in the past, it was hard to simply push such memories aside, even after seeing him in such a broken state as he was now.
”And Ryecloud is not dead. He lives with me and my mate now. My Twoleg brought him to us just a moon or so ago,” she added, knowing that would grant Smokepelt at least some amount of peace. Now to get to the question at hand; his purpose for being here.
”But why are you coming to me? Surely your medicine cat knows how to care for Elders,” Kindle asked, tilting her head to the side in a curious manor.
”What do I have to offer you that you can’t find in the clans,” she finished and waited for his response.
Just Kindle… it wasn’t her true name, but he was proud of her for at least keeping some portion of her origins. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he met her pale gaze.
”I’m tired of my grief. My days of running through the moorlands are far behind me and I doubt I have much time left,” he admitted.
”After spending hours on end contemplating such a decision, clan life is no longer the place for me. I understand that I’ve been a horrible father and sometimes even a horrible clanmate, but I came to the realization that I want to spend my slower days with my family where I can live in peace, instead of constant fear of when I’ll get my next meal,” he mewed and looked down to his paws. From a clan cat’s perspective, saying such a thing seemed so horribly shameful, but he meant every word of it. Yes, he had family back in WindClan, but it wasn’t the same.
”So… I come here asking for you to find it in yourself to forgive me,” Smokepelt added, bowing his head as if in submission. Unlike the powerful tom he’d used to be, one would think he was an absolutely different cat, the way he spoke with such a sense of defeat in his voice.
Just as she’d expected, he wanted to join her.
”While my kit-hood, apprentice-hood, and even warrior-hood weren’t all a stroll through the forest, I still loved and looked up to you,” she began, trying to contain the emotions that began to creep up behind her like a piece of prey being stalked by a predator.
”It’s obvious that you’re desperate, but aside from that, I forgive you and forgave you those many moons ago after I was exiled. And luckily for you, my Twoleg loves cats and most likely wouldn’t mind taking in another,” Kindle finished. While in the past she would’ve had to think over such a decision, she couldn’t deny her father the chance to reconcile, especially when he was obviously on the last stretch of his life.
”But, I pray that you hold the same feelings towards Rye as you do in this moment,” she warned. Based off what her younger brother said, it would mean the world to him to hear Smokepelt apologize.
Listening to her speak, he lifted his head and for the first time too many moons to count, a smile grew on his muzzle and as if the sun had come out on a rainy day, the glimmer in which his eyes once held when he was young returned.
”R-really?” he spoke, tears welling in the crooks of his eyes. He couldn’t have ever asked for such a wonderful kit and wished he’d treated his family more fairly that long time ago.
”I do, I do! Oh Kindle, I’m so, so sorry. For everything,” he added, a wave of relief and joy washing over him like a crashing wave. Stepping forward, he pressed his neck against her’s, taking in the moment.
”Great StarClan, don’t cry, you’re gonna make me cry,” she chuckled as the two of them embraced, trying to keep her once cool composure. Sniffing his drenched pelt, the distant yet familiar scents of WindClan clung onto his decrepit form, one she’d grown to miss.
”Great StarClan, don’t cry, you’re gonna make me cry,” ”Come on, let’s go before we catch a cold. I think Rye will be glad to see you and I’ll introduce you to my mate and Twoleg,” Kindle purred and gave her sopping pelt a shake. Never in a thousand years did she think that the two of them would be reunited and at first him showing up seemed surreal, but now that they’d spoken, she couldn’t have been happier to bring her father to her home.
Giving her a nod as she began to make her way down the fence, Smokepelt began to follow her but stopped in his tracks. Looking back towards the forests and moorlands that occupied the countryside over yonder, Smokepelt closed his eyes and soaked in the fresh scents for what might be the last time. Through the rain, a gentle breeze blew by, as if the murmur of the land was whispering farewell.
’Goodbye everyone. May StarClan light your path,’ he thought to himself, sending his family and clan his prayer. Turning back to Kindle, he followed his daughter towards her home, his heart no longer filled with grief and longing, but instead with contentment. At last, he would find peace with himself and was blessed with the chance to live the rest of his life with his family in amity.
