Something Wrong? [Closed]

The heavy she-cat had been sunning herself near the edge of camp, staring off into space. She'd had a lot on her mind lately, and it didn't help that her emotions were all over the place. She already had a bit of a reputation for being a wild card and while she didn't particularly care about the whispers that always seemed to get around camp, she didn't need something like this getting her in trouble somehow. After the events of yesterday she...

Thornbriar shut her eye and let out a quiet "Tch."

What was wrong with her?

A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts and she lifted her head to meet Wildstrike's concerned blue gaze. She watched him settle in, realizing he'd gifted her a mouse. She looked at the fresh kill, ignoring the hunger panging in her stomach. No matter what the cause, her stomach was swollen enough for right now. "Not hungry." She grumbled, laying her head down again.


[OOC]
No problem! No need to force it ^-^

"Nothing, I'm fine." She grumbled, closing her eyes again. Mild annoyance bubbled in her chest at Wildstrike's insistence on ruining what little time she'd given herself to relax, but she ignored it. She know the tom meant well, even if he was considerably more social a cat than she was. She lazily flicked her tail in his general direction. That is... until he spoke again.

Her eye opened with a jolt at his words.

What?

That all too familiar rage from the last week surged in her veins again. In a flash, she'd rolled to her paws and leapt at him. They rolled for a moment, before she pinned him down with his belly up. Teeth bared in a furious snarl so close to his face that their noses were practically touching, she looked the tom directly in the eye. "Who told you." She growled, tail lashing in fury. She swore, if Asterspark hadn't kept his trap shut, then Starclan have mercy on the flea-brained fool. Magpiestar himself knew she wouldn't. Green fire dancing in her eye, the fur along her spine bristled. "Tell me! I'll tear their throat out!" She demanded, slamming her paw down next to his head. She knew she was out of control, but it was so hard to reign herself in right now.

The volatile warrior stared into his eyes for a long moment, as if searching them for any inkling that he was being dishonest with her, before she sighed and got off of him. He was telling the truth... besides, he was terrible at trying to lie to her. She turned her head away from him, sitting down. If she weren't so worked up about everything going on right now, she might've laughed at his assumption. "... No. Definitely not him... It's no one." She grumbled. Thornbriar hadn't wanted one of the few people she considered a friend to find out about her current condition this way... honestly, she hadn't wanted him to find out at all, but it seemed like that wasn't going to be the case. The she-cat grit her teeth. "Don't worry about it, I'm getting rid of them as soon as they climb out of me anyways. Redwing can deal with them or something... I'm not exactly mom material."

Thornbriar's tail lashed at the tom's prodding. "Look, I told you, it's no one!" She hissed. Stars, she was so sick of this! The questions, the stares, the whispers. She just wanted to be left alone! No matter what she did, all eyes were on her. It didn't matter why. People just couldn't leaver her alone. On her feet again, she glared at him. "Do you seriously think I could raise much of anything? I can't even hardly deal with those flea-brained apprentices that got thrown at me. Kits aren't my thing. Starclan knows I didn't exactly get the best kithood myself!" The fur along the she-cat's spine had begun to rise as her emotions began to spiral out of control again. Just remembering Snakegaze's words, her insistence on fighting... On being strong. After all, there was no place in the world for weakness according to her. Thornbriar's jaw clenched. The coldhearted queen hadn't even batted an eye at her son's death. Sootstrike deserved better. She deserved better.

These stupid little parasites in her belly... even they deserved better.

Thornbriar sank her claws deep into the ground to steady herself. "I don't need this, I don't need them! And they certainly won't need me."

She'd been staring firmly at a fixed point in the barrier surrounding the camp, trying to look at pretty much anything but his face until he mentioned Scorchstar's kits. They hadn't been mothered by Minnowcall? Anger fading somewhat, she slid her gaze back to him. "Asterspark doesn't seem that bothered by it, I doubt these ones will be either." She mumbled, flicking her tail. Thornbriar looked away again. She didn't want to acknowledge that flicker of hurt in his clear blue eyes. She didn't want to have to deal with that... that....

From her memory surfaced a clear picture of a moonlit clearing, the tom beside her crying out as he confessed his sins to the night. She closed her eye. She hated that he'd trusted her, shared all that stupid sappy... that. He was so pathetic sometimes... spouting all that nonsense about her hating him and his not deserving to be alive. Sighing, she sheathed her claws.

Idiot...

What choice did she really have now?

She opened her eyes, fixing her gaze on the ground ahead of her. "He was a loner. I don't know how it happened... that is, I know how it happened, I just..." she grit her teeth. "I don't understand."

The she-cat trailed off. She was lost in thought again, spiraling into her own self-loathing, though on the surface she looked calm and frigid. This was her own doing, she knew she had to own up to that at least.

"Don't worry about the apprentices, I'll deal with them. The kits on the other hand... we'll see." She said finally. She hated the thought of ending up anything like her mother, but it seemed like the parallels were beginning to stand out more and more.