The Calm before the Storm {Closed}

At last, the Gathering patrol had departed. Silverpelt had grown visible in the rapidly darkening sky, and the adorning stars seemed to grow in number with every minute that passed. Leaf bare had deemed it only right to offer up a gift this wondrous full moon. Crystallized flakes of snow swirled in leisurely dance through the air, directed this way and that by the breeze. Ever since the seasons had changed, a layer of snow had gradually built up within the ravine. Now the sand was nowhere to be seen; in its place was persevering white. Among the ThunderClan cats who were staying behind, a somewhat unusual sight could be seen. Hailpaw sat at the entrance to the Apprentice Den, yellow gaze fixed in the direction of the gorse tunnel. For the first time ever since she had gained her 'paw suffix, the fluffy apprentice was skipping out on a Gathering. She had made the decision to do so herself, claiming that she would keep Beartooth company. For the young cat who always seemed to be full of energy and enthusiasm, her not wanting to attend a Gathering was unusual. Nevertheless, no cat had objected, and here she was.

With a large part of the clan gone, a sort of emptiness seemed to descend over the camp. Apprentices were beginning to retire to their nests, worn out from a long day of training; while the warriors lingered sparsely throughout the ravine. Snatches of conversation drifted lazily through the air. Out of the corner of her eye, Hailpaw caught sight of an elder picking through the fresh-kill pile. Whichever direction one looked, the day was undoubtedly drawing to a close. The white she-cat, however, was not planning on going back to the Apprentice Den anytime soon. Her bright yellow gaze flitted across the camp, searching for her adopted brother. When it finally settled upon the familiar hulking figure, the corners of her maw curled upwards in a mischievous smirk. With barely a moment of hesitation, she skipped right on over. "Hey, Beartooth." She greeted him with a meow, even as she lightly headbutted his shoulder. "What're you thinking about?" She plopped down by his side, close enough that their pelts brushed. "You've grown busy ever since you became a warrior. It's been a while since we've hung out. You haven't forgotten about me, have you?" As she spoke, her teasing yellow gaze met his hazel one.

To say that Hailpaw did not feel the prickles of guilt at that exact moment would be a lie. Truth be told, "keeping Beartooth company" had been nothing but an excuse. The stocky she-cat had no desire to attend the Gathering that moon, and the true reason was far from admirable. Even when she closed her eyes, the particular events of a certain afternoon sometime ago remained firmly branded on the back of her eyelids. Contrary to what Hailpaw had expected, she was unable to forget the sensation of tearing her claws through Icepaw's flesh, pummeling the defenseless apprentice into the ground. While it had brought her satisfaction at the time, little of that emotion was left now but a cold, worming dread in the pit of her stomach. Undoubtedly, the truth of what she had done would be revealed this Gathering. Leopardstar, Marshstorm, Pricklepaw, Gladepaw, and Blizzardshine—when they knew, would they look at her the same way Ridgepaw had? Would they think of her as a monster? Even though she had only wanted to protect her family? Was her true nature one that others would shy away from? I don't want them to look at me with such eyes. I did nothing wrong. Help me, Beartooth. If she were to be completely honest, the plea would tumble right out of her jaws. Nevertheless, she held the words back. Her adopted brother would find out before too long. Until then, she would play along, pretending that nothing was wrong. Outwardly, she grinned as she always did.

ooc; super late now but i love your post

Never before had he wanted to miss a gathering. In his youth, the prying and judgemental eyes of other clans had never caused his pelt to prickle. Now, even just the knowledge of his own existence was troublesome. It was for this reason that he asked to stay behind. Attending the gathering was a privilege, not a duty, and now one that he was more than happy to pass on. Besides, extra paws were always needed around camp. Gatherings left the clan vulnerable with so many warriors gone. And I have more paw than most, he thought bitterly. If Beartooth had a sense of humor or even possessed the ability to register the tone of his own remark, his whiskers might have twitched. But they were still as he stared down the bridge of his nose at those horrid paws. His body faced the camp entrance as he silently guarded it from within the walls. Behind his intensive stare, the corner of his gaze caught a flash of white fur.

Beartooth slowly raised his head in a delayed reaction. It was Hailpaw. The long-furred, white she-cat had always been like a sister to him. She and her littermates had been raised alongside him underneath the watchful eye of Blizzardshine. For this reason, he managed a weak smile as she pulled away from headbutting his shoulder. She deserved that much from him. Love swelled up somewhere deep within the depths of his hollowed out chest. Much like the sensation he felt for Pricklepaw, the tom knew he would die for this she-cat. And he hoped that she knew that even if he did not verbally express it enough. While he wanted to speak to her, the words stuck to his tongue. His chest constricted painfully at the thought of saying anything at all. So, he settled for resting his head on her forepaws, underneath her chin. The panic that had arisen within him seemed to die slightly with the comfort of her fur. It was like they were kits again.

"I've missed you, Hailpaw." The works came out a broken murmur, dry but crackling with the emotions he found himself too afraid to speak of. His green gaze was fixated on a far off point of the camp walls. Her question of his thoughts was left unanswered, intentionally. Any cat with even one eye would be able to see the grotesque monstrosities that were his paws. Besides, Hailpaw was a brilliant apprentice. She did not need the obvious explained to her. These thoughts merely flitted through his head, none staying long enough to be given any merit. Beartooth simply stared ahead. All at once he thought about everything and nothing at all. Without realizing it, the side of his head became further buried into the crook of her forepaw and chest. A hitched sigh escaped his maw as he thought aloud, "I miss how things used to be."

Beartooth was a rather curious character. He had been large in stature ever since their time as kits, and he had only continued to grow as the moons passed. While Hailpaw was considerably well-built, the size difference between the two of them was obvious when they sat next to one another. He had extra toes and claws and long front teeth that peeked out from his closed jaws. Despite his rather frightful appearance, however, there was a certain gentleness to him. At least, that gentleness existed in Hailpaw's eyes. He was neither bright nor a great speaker, but she thought those details part of his charm as well. While Pricklepaw and Beepaw had always seen him as an antagonist, her earliest feelings towards him had simply been of curiosity. As time passed, she had grown to derive a comfort from his quiet, steadfast presence. Perhaps it was for such reasons she had sought him out in particular. A certain littermate of hers could gripe all he wanted, but Hailpaw held firmly to the belief that Beartooth was not, and likely would never be, a bad cat. She had accused him once of murdering Beepaw; she would never again make such a mistake. The fluffy she-cat was well-aware of the fact that Ridgepaw was also staying behind. The last thing she wanted at that moment, however, was to approach the pale calico. She had no desire to discuss what had happened. At least, not on the night of the Gathering, when all she wanted to do was to take her mind off of their approaching fate.

The warrior's unexpected actions elicited a startled mrrow from Hailpaw. For a second, she simply gazed down upon his scarred visage, bright yellow eyes wide. Then a small smirk tugged at the corners of her maw. Rather than an expression full of ill-meaning, it was more of a "I guess it can't be helped" sort of smile. Perhaps it was because she sensed something, she did not order Beartooth to get off. Weariness, brokenness—when she looked into his face, she might have caught a glimpse of such emotions. Gently, she allowed her chin to rest atop her brother's head. He was warm, and she could feel that warmth through their pelts. How long had it been since she had last snuggled together with a littermate? The sensation was... not an unpleasant one. At the murmur of Beartooth's voice, her ears pricked. The words, while simple as they always were, seemed to resonate within her. "... Me too." She responded. All of a sudden, she sounded uncertain of herself, a distance from that confident apprentice that had approached Beartooth. "Me too, Beartooth." Soon, things would change even more. The urge to pour everything out to him tugged even more strongly at her heart. In response, she stubbornly clenched her jaws. After a moment's pause, she relaxed again.

"I miss Beepaw." The statement slipped out so quickly, so naturally, that she barely knew what she was saying until she had said it. It was true, she realized. She missed him; she missed him so badly. Everything had fallen to pieces after his death. The grief that clawed at her chest had not gone away as the moons passed, only slackened in intensity. "He was such a mouse-brain." The humor she attempted to force into her tone fell flat. "I knew he didn't like you, but I never thought he would go as far as to attack you. He had a pretty nasty personality. Remember when Ridgepaw and I sneaked thorns into his nest? He totally blew up. It wouldn't be too strange if he ended up in the Dark Forest. He would fit right in there." What was she rambling on about? Hailpaw didn't quite know, herself. She chuckled, but the sound rang hollow. Contrary to the harsh words she spoke, her tone was tinged with pain. "He was nasty, but I guess he was still family. Just like you are." Here were the words she had always thought of saying, only she never had. Pride had kept her from apologizing. She inhaled deeply, allowing the frosty air to sting her lungs. "Beepaw's death was wholly his fault. I believe everything you said back then, Beartooth. You aren't the kind of cat who would abandon a dying clanmate."

If there was anything she could do, Hailpaw would not lose another sibling.

Any dread that had crept into the forefront of his very being and kept hold with a grip of icy claws seemed to melt away as he revealed in the presence of his younger sister. Sibling comfort had been a fleeting sensation since the days of kithood. As they all grew, the animosity that writhed within the chests of his adoptive brothers had seemed to cut through the natural love that overflowed from his own pelt. His own presence and deeps wells of care had kept him around both Ridgepaw and Hailpaw when he was able in between the many duties that had weighed upon his shoulders over the moons. However, it had never been the same as being nestled together within the sheltered ignorance that comprised the nursery. There had been no cares there, no worries. Nothing more than the simple-minded playfulness of young kits. As he remembered, an nearly inaudible sigh left the corners of his maw and ruffled Hailpaw's chest fur ever so slightly.

As her head rested atop his, the warrior closed his eyes to silently drink in the sensation that warmed him. It was a stark contrast to the cold hatred that had built up inside over the past moons. Beartooth was shocked to find how desperately he had craved such a moment between himself and his loved ones. Other than this moment, there were sparse times that his pelt pressed up against that of another cat and fed the need for genuine intimacy that his inherently affectionate psyche demanded. Hailpaw would likely never know how much this moment meant to him. The uncommunicative nature of his tongue likened it would never be said aloud. Instead, the sizeable tom allowed a broken and rusted, half-purr to rumbled through his chest for a split second. Just enough for the apprentice to realized it had existed. But it was cut short at the mention of Beepaw.

Similar to Hailpaw, the aching numbness crept through his chest and tightened his throat. He swallowed an impossible lump with his throat pressed against her forepaw. Thinking of his late adoptive kin was a difficult thing. Although most cats had cleared his name of the atrocity in which he had once been accused, Beartooth could not help the wave of guilt that crashed over him at the thought. It was not something that had developed as a direct result of the incident, no that had merely bred the pain of immense loss, instead, it had built up over the moons with each lash of Pricklepaw's sharp tongue. The tabby warrior could no longer help the repetitive internal thoughts that dug into his mind like a sharpened stick. Allegations of his ineptitude rang loudly between his ears. It was the continued drawl of Hailpaw's words that drag him back into the present. His nose buried into her velvet, soft fur and Beartooth inhaled the familiar scent before mustering up a response.

"I miss him, too. Things would be different if he were still here." Flashes of the previous encounter with Pricklepaw came to the forefront of his mind. He did not see the medicine cat of the clan standing above him, mocking him and denying him the normal care required of the position, instead, he only could see the brother that he loved shunning him for what was likely the hundredth time. Perhaps the spikey-furred tom would not hold such a venomous viewpoint of him. Maybe their litter would be much closer than it ever had been. Somewhere in the recesses of the warrior's mind, there was a kit-like idealization of acceptance into Blizzardshine's litter. The sweet and loving she-cat who had stepped in to raise him after his own parent's disinterest had shaped and molded the softer edges of his disposition. And yet even in his futile desires, Pricklepaw and Beepaw could likely never have accepted him as one of their own.

It was a depressing thought. Finally, Beartooth opened his eyes and glanced up at Hailpaw. While most cats only saw her battle-hungry drive and confident exterior, he could remember her as a kit dancing around her mother's paws with the others. After what had seemed like an eternity, there was a hint of a smile across his fang-marred expression, "I'm glad you're here, Hailpaw." There was the unsung follow up of a sentiment that he hoped never to lose her. But the words were not carried across the wind, he didn't think they had to be.