Sparrowpaw's Moonstone Journey

Mintwhisker padded out of her den, two bundles of traveling herbs held loosely in her jaws. Despite... everything, life must go on. And that meant only one thing: Moonstone journeys. Today, the taupe she-cat would be escorting Sparrowpaw to the Moonstone. Mintwhisker felt a small twinge of... something.
Sparrowpaw was growing up.

"Sparrowpaw." Mintwhisker peered into the apprentice's den, her voice muffled by the herbs. "It's time to go."
When the apprentice finally stirred, Mintwhisker withdrew from the den and allowed her to grab a bite to eat before they left. After Sparrowpaw ate, she nosed the bundle of herbs towards her. "The herbs taste awful, I know, but they'll give you enough energy to make it there and back." Once she had made sure the older apprentice had swallowed everything, she lead the way out of camp, her murky green eyes bright.


"Watch your step," Mintwhisker carefully padded up the steep base of the mountain, wending her way gracefully past rocks and boulders. When the pair finally arrived at the top of the mountain the Medicine Cat paused for a moment, catching her breath. "Stay close behind me." She nodded at the tunnels. "It's easy to get lost in there."
The short-legged she-cat lead the way through the tunnels, making sure to keep her tail outstretched in case Sparrowpaw required any extra guidance. After a short while, the pair emerged into the main chamber, which was already filled with Moonlight that reflected off of the Moonstone. "Don't be afraid." Mintwhisker sat down near the tunnels. "Touch the Moonstone, and you'll feel a strong urge to fall asleep. Once you do so, you'll find yourself in Starclan. I'll be right here when you wake up."

The thin apprentice lifted her head slowly from the mass of furred bodies around her. The snow made her hunting trips more taxing somehow, as if the very ground itself voiced it's dissapproval of her refusal to climb. Slowly, she stood and moved her way through the smaller bodies until she emerged from the den. Pelt ruffled from sleep, but she spared no time to groom more than a few mandatory swipes of her tongue. Tiny pieces of grey fur shed off. She stared at them for a moment, before she shrugged and padded towards the medicine den. As the herbs were pushed to her, she grimaced. A flash of blood and pain filled her vision briefly as she remembered the last time she was in here.

She had been recovering from a strike by Shade. The tom who'd been banished from RiverClan... the one who was more violent than even her father. Somehow, she lowered her head and chewed down the awful and bitter herbs before she followed Mintwhisker with barely a sound. No words spoken between them, but a comfortable silence. Mintwhisker was the only she-cat she trusted in camp wholeheartedly anymore. It was her who had stood up to Sedgestrike. Her who had defended Sparrowpaw... even in her darkest hour. Though the she-cat had never openly said so, she appreciated all that Mintwhisker had done for her.

She smiled towards her. A rare kindness she offered these days before she laid before the moonstone. The cavern was unnerving and cold to her paws. Her heart thudded with fear in her chest, but hope as well... maybe she'd get to see her mother, or her sister.

---

She opened her eyes from darkness to see a strange sight. There were stars, but they mingled with a strangeness. This was StarClan? A soft mist covered the ground in a slight obscurity. It hid the sky far above, made things hazey around her. She lifted a paw to her face, passing it over her eyes before she looked up once more. Only to see the tom she least wanted to see. His green eyes pierced through her, vibrant and bright. His body glimmered with starlight mixed with the greyness of the fog.

"You're thinner than I remembered." The voice broke through her shock. The silver and black tom before her padded around her with a measuring gaze. "Don't tell me the clan hasn't been looking after you."
"Well who's fault is that?" Sparrowpaw spat at her father. He paused mid-stride, then turned towards her while she turned to face him. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion for a moment, before reality sank in. He was... up here. He was... dead. Her jaws parted. Words intended to be venomous fell out in a shocked wounded tone. "F-father... what happened?"

Sedgestrike watched the malnourished she-cat in front of him. His tail twitched in both anger and irratation... how could they? Were they not willing to look after their own? Sparrowpaw had never followed in his pawprints. Yet here she was, barely standing. His pelt bristled, but his scathing remark was held back by her words. He paused, pelt lowering and forcing himself to calm. There was nothing he could do from here. Nothing she could do... except... one thing.

He sighed. His head dropped towards the starry ground for a moment before his gaze lifted.
"I'm sorry, Sparrowpaw." He replied softly. His gaze lifted to hers sadly. "I never meant to leave you with such a burden... I never..." He paused. His voice stuttering as he faltered trying to think of ways to phrase the anger, the reasons behind it all. Looking back, he could see every mistake so clearly. He couldn't even really be mad at the reasons. Life hadn't dealt him the kindest hand... and he had overreacted. "I never meant to be that cat... the one that would kill." He admitted. "Out of all the regrets in my life, that has to be my greatest... but, exile wasn't enough for one cat."

He paused, what he was going to tell her. Should he? He debated the merit of it for a long moment. Watched as her gaze turned from sad, to dissappointed. Yet, she had asked.. and who was he to deny her the truth? It was a kittypet thing to lie. He had raised her better than that.
"I was... thinking. Then, I heard a cat behind me. I turned, and... Mintwhisker shoved me off the branch." He confessed. The irony of dying from a fall wasn't lost on him as he confessed it. Green eyes widened in shock, and he paused, realising their time was almost up. "Don't let anger fuel your actions... don't make my mistakes..." He meowed as darkness overcame her. His greeen gaze stayed locked on the spot she had been. His only living kin.

He could only pray she didn't fall into his mistakes.

---

Shock rocked through Sparrowpaw as she woke with a sudden start. Her heart thumping loudly in her ears as she turned her head sharply to Mintwhisker. The she-cat had been like a mother to her after Echoflame's passed. The ugly truth ripped through her mind. Tore through her opinions in a heart beat. She knew her father's opinion on lying, as she knew his opinion on a lot of things. The sound of rock grating against claws met her ears as she lunged at Mintwhisker and pinned her to the ground. Her eyes wide as tears fell from them onto the other she-cat's face.

"YOU KILLED HIM!?" She screeched. Her voice echoed down the halls of the moonstone's caverns as she trembled, her grip tight on Mintwhisker's pelt. It wasn't enough. Sparrowpaw's anger drove her further as she got off of Mintwhisker only to slash at the medicine cat with a vicious snarl. Her green gaze showing her confliction. This she-cat had been like a mother to her... but she had killed her father. Her own kin, she had murdered. Her limbs shook with the force of the anger and sadness that warred through her. "H-how could you!?" Her voice dropped to a whisper as she shook in silence for a moment.

"... How could you...?"

Mintwhisker's murky green eyes flew open, her blood pounding in her ears. She found herself staring into a hauntingly familiar pair of green eyes.

"H-hi Sedgepaw." Peircing green eyes, silver fur, bloodstained and cringing."You looked exhausted- where'd you get those scratches from?"
"In case you didn't notice, it was my nest covered in brambles and my fur." Mintpaw shook her head sympathetically. "He made me sleep in them after I brought back brambles instead of moss."

"My f-father... well, I suppose he has a r-reason for it. He always has a-a reason for everything." Mixing a poultice in a stranger's den, following instructions she'd never learned. Her ears perked as the tom winced. "D-Does it sting?" She mewed softly.
He looked up. Their eyes met.
For a moment the two simply sat there. A connection stretched between them, making Mintpaw's fur rise.
"Careful, Mintbreath."
"I-I'd watch that attitude, Sedgeface. A-after all, you have no idea what I j-just put in those cuts."
Just like that, everything went back to normal.

"No! Get away from me!" Mintwhisker's voice was filled with pure hatred as she kicked blindly at the cat above her. She felt a sort of savage satisfaction as her paws connected with something solid, razor-sharp claws digging into skin. She leaped away, her breath hitching as she finally got a good look at her opponent.
"Sparrow... Sparrowpaw!" Mintwhisker blinked rapidly, letting out a soft breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She drew one shaking front paw to her mouth, staring wide-eyed at the apprentice standing before her. Something warm gushed down her foreleg, a strange liquid that shone a dark, murky red- nearly black, in fact.

"Sparrowpaw... no... I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I swear..."

"YOU KILLED HIM!?"
Mintwhisker blinked. "I-I... I... what?" She whispered, slowly lowering her blood-soaked paw to the ground. "Sparrowpaw, no... y-you don't understand."

Or maybe...

"No! No... it wasn't... safe." How could I tell the truth when I don't even know what's real anymore? "I... I don't remember what happened." That much was true, after all. "I... took herbs. To forget. I can't remember what happened that night, but..."
She paused, her voice swelling as she held back a sob. No Sparrowpaw... not my Sparrowpaw.

"Don't you remember?" She stepped closer, her eyes wide, two watery pools set in her bloodstained face. She stared, horror and pain, fear and worry making her mind spin.
She hurt her. She lashed out at the one cat who had always been there for her. Her companion. Her friend.
Her daughter.
How could she explain?
"Sedgestrike was cruel. Unpredictable. Dangerous." She lifted her paw, still blood-soaked, and gently stroked the scar that marred Sparrowpaw's face. "Why do you still... love him?"
"Don't act as if you're my daughter now. You've never lived up to that expectation... and you never will."

"I don't!" Sparrowpaw denied immediately, but her voice faltered. It was filled with confliction, the conviction of her words torn apart by the tom she had just seen in StarClan. Guilt wormed into her chest. She had wondered and often assumed her father was in the Dark Forest... but he was among the stars. Her jaws clenched as she stared at Mintwhisker from the couple of tail lengths that she had pulled away to. Her mind raced with thoughts, accusations... truths. How could she love him? How couldn't she? What did this make her?

"I..." She started, her voice breaking in the stress. Mintwhisker's words rang through her head. He had been cruel and unpredictable, even dangerous... but she did have good memories too. She remembered him constantly hunting for them. The memory of Sedgestrike bringing back a small bundle of feathers for her and Starlingpaw warmed her chest briefly. His pride when she did something right. In all the anger of the clan, in the consuming hatred that had bored itself into her bones after his departure... the desperation to prove herself unlike him and yet... "He was still my father..." She whispered softly in the darkness of the cave.

Her green eyes looked to Mintwhisker's directly. She padded forward slowly. While she would never fully support her father's ways. While he was wrong in most of the things he said, in his ruthlessness and anger, there were some things he had right.
"You killed him... and now... you cower behind your herbs." Her black ears pinned to her head. "You don't even have the decency to admit what you did. I had to learn it from him, in StarClan!" She hissed, the words like jagged knives in her chest. Memories of the medicine den flooded her. The soft comforts, the scent of Mintwhisker's constant presence and protection... it suddenly all felt so false. All at once she had a name for it. Pity. Mintwhisker didn't love her... she pitied her.

"I don't need your pity." She shrank back as she hissed the words. Her thin body looked frail in the protective arch she put herself in as she slowly edged towards the gaping darkness that was the exit. "It's all been a lie. You pitied me when he was alive, and now you pity me because you murdered him. " She paused, then dropped from her arch with exhaustion that was so obvious it had to be painful to witness. Her anger dissappating as though she had used up all her energy for it.

"Guess your both the same. You're both killers." Her voice dripped with dissappointment as tired and saddened green eyes met Mintwhisker's. "I can't be proud of either of you... and I hope you're happy. He's out of your way forever Mintbreath..." She turned towards the darkness, her last words to the medicine cat a sharp rebuke lined with tears. "and so am I."

Mintwhisker shook her head, shifting her gaze towards the dust-coated ground as Sparrowpaw protested. Then why do you believe in him?
There was so much that she wanted to say, but fear kept her lips sealed. Fear of severing ties with Sparrowpaw completely, fear of losing the respect of her clanmates, fear of losing her connection to Starclan.
"He was still my father..."
Mintwhisker blinked, looking up to meet Sparrowpaw's eyes. "I-I..." The fury, the hatred that was radiating from the silver she-cat felt alien, and yet... she couldn't stop seeing Sedgestrike within her. Every movement, every glance was reminiscent of her father.

Sparrowpaw moved closer and the fur rose along Mintwhisker's spine involuntarily. She took a half-step back, murky eyes fixed on the apprentice before her. The reality of the situation set in as the tabby felt blood trickle down her neck, staining her fur a deep crimson. She stepped backward once more.
"you cower behind your herbs."

"I hate what you've become, and no matter how many cats tell me that I should be proud of you, I never will be!"
"You think I should look up to you, but I see what you are. You're nothing more than a sick, self-absorbed monster!
Because she was a Medicine Cat, her own sister left her behind. By the time it really sank in, Rippedstar was gone. Pansyface was gone. Featherlight was gone.
She was alone.

"They're all I have!" Her voice echoed louder than she expected. She arched her back, the rest of her pelt rising. For a moment, everything fell silent. Sparrowpaw's mouth moved, but she didn't hear. Her heartbeat grew faster, her mind became a whirlwind of fear and anxiety, and above it all, anger.
"I don't pity you, Sparrowpaw." Her jaw was stiff. "And neither did Sedgestrike."

Mintbreath. The short-legged tabby shook, taking a moment to breathe before leaving the cave.