Time's up (OPEN WIDE)

Even though it pained him to see all those doubtful looks in him, Jaystar couldn't change his mind now. How could no one see that it was wrong to have a cat in their clan who didn't accept their lives? Who couldn't even follow or want to learn the Warrior Code they all had swore to live up? It was understandable for his kits, Galepaw, Sparkpaw, Ivypaw and Berrypaw to feel hurt about him leaving because, even if he hated to admit, he was like a father to them too. He didn't care any longer if Goldeneye loved him. How could even be jealous when he no longer loved Goldeneye the same way that he did in the past? No... this was beyond frivolous jealousy and emotions. This was about letting a cat who didn't want to be a warrior or to even respect what they believed in. Even Gingerstripe swore his loyalty to Riverclan and the Code but Starlord hasn't. "I'm sorry, but Scorchclaw is right. I gave him time, Ivypaw, more than two moons, actually, to live among us but again, he had refused to be a warrior, to truly be a warrior of Riverclan. Starlord admitted he would never be a clan cat... and I'm not going to let cats who don't follow the Code or our ways inside of our clan. If I would do that, what would be the point of the clans, the Code, and our ways? We would just be a place where outsiders could just live with no rules." He mewed, with a sad expression.

It was painful to do this to his kits but it was necessary. Yet, Galepaw did point out a fact that couldn't be denied. With a pained look in his eyes, Jaystar turned his gaze to Galepaw. Did he truly think of what he did for them in that way? Maybe he was right... Maybe, if they wanted to them to be happy, they had to make their own choices... even if it meant they would leave the clan. "I tried to offer you a better life than outside the clans... I promised to protect you as my own kits but... you're right, Galepaw. I never gave any of you the chance to choose what you wanted. So now, I will ask you. To the four of you, who have to live him here and train in the clan to see how our life is. Do you wish to leave with Starlord or stay here? I won't force you to take one or another and I'll respect whatever you choose, even if it breaks my heart." From his voice it was clear how much pain he had inside his broken heart. But he couldn't force anyone anymore... he didn't want to ruin even more what was ruined. If there was something truly meaningful that he could do for the kits, it was this: the gift of a choice.

---

Berrypaw had heard everything and he could say nothing. He knew from the start that Starlord didn't receive the same treatment than them. That he was more like a guest, not a Riverclan cat. But even if he knew this day would come... it was still painful. Just like Jaystar, the loner was like a father to him. Maybe he wasn't as close as Sparkpaw was to him but he had always been there. And now... he had to go...

The golden-furred tom rushed immediately to the medicine cat den, seeing how the ginger-patched cat said goodbye to the medicine cat and to Littlestream, Jaystar's daughter. And then, the rest of his sibling arrived too, all of them complaining about him leaving. Berrypaw couldn't say he wanted him to leave either. He would have loved him to stay! But... if he never wanted to be a clan cat, what was the point for him to stay here? He himself had worked hard to earn his place in the clan, to train under the wing of a warrior, to have his own home. If Starlord truly wanted to stay here, he should have done that from the start... but he didn't and Berrypaw respected that. He was a free-spirit, someone who couldn't be part of a clan but that could live his life on his own. Even if it broke his heart, he had experienced loss before and he knew the best he could do was to accept it. The large tom approached the loner and nuzzled his neck fur with his head, tears starting to fall from his green eyes. "I'm gonna miss you, papa... Please... take care of yourself... I won't forget you..." He mewed, sobbing.

When he stepped back, Jaystar had replied to his brother, Galepaw. He... did not expect that answer. Berrypaw looked to Jaystar with open-wide eyes, a bit shocked by the offer he had made. Leave the clan with Starlord? He looked back to his foster father, thoughtful... It was an option... leave Riverclan to live adventures with him didn't sound so bad. After all, he was one of his parents... However... Berrypaw didn't want to leave... he had worked so hard to be here, to be accepted. How could he leave now when he had promised to Firepaw that he would be the best warrior in Riverclan for him? He could never do such a thing to his loss friend... and he could never abandon Finchstream and her new family. "I'm sorry..." He whispered softly to Starlord before fixing his eyes on the Riverclan leader. "I want to stay here, with those who loved me, adopted me and gave me a home... I want to stay with Finchstream and her kits."

Most of the clan was unaffected by the news. Quite a few of the Riverclan cats had never interacted with him and barely knew he was there. But for those who did, the uproar began. The goodbye to Gold had been the most painful and made him feel as if everything was falling apart underneath the cool demeanor that he kept across his maw. However, the depths of his blue gaze glistened with the immense sadness that settled over his soul. The thought of leaving Littlestream was difficult in his own way. There was no lie that initially he had initially loved her, and she knew that, he was honest. But he had made a vow to care for her, one he intended to keep, and the thought of breaking that promise bothered him. Thankfully, Finchstream appeared moments later to break the barrage of guilt that washed over him.

"I'm going to miss you all, Finchstream. No cat could have taken care of those kits as well as you. I can never thank you enough for that." Starlord dipped his head to her and let out a weak purr. At the mention of Shrikekit, his words were soft, "It was an honor. I will await the day our paths cross again." As she turned, he followed her gaze over to the kits. They face the leader with bristling coats and an obvious sadness. With a sigh, he followed at the heels of the queen.

Jaystar and Goldeneye's kits, the ones who the clan only knew as mere rogues, immediately came to him. His heart wrenched fiercely within the confines of his chest. As the kits began to gather around Jaystar, Starlord padded slowly over. Each pawstep seemed to take much more effort than the last. Dull eyes met the Riverclan leaders as he stood within the mass of apprentices. Berrypaw quickly approached him to say his goodbyes. With a swift lick of his tongue on the young tom's cheek, there was a silent response. In moments, Ivypaw was leaning against him with Galepaw on the other side. He listened to their pleas, wishing he could beg the leader himself but he knew that Jaystar would see no reason beyond the precious code and his own beliefs. Resting his head on Ivypaw's, the tom muttered softly to her about how things would work out, "I'll do what I can to come back for your ceremony, okay, sweetheart? Don't worry. It will be okay."

Galepaw's protests provoked an interesting response in Jaystar. The loner flicked his tail across the backs of the two young cats next to him, brother and sister alike before straightening up, "A better life, Jaystar? I will admit this forest is quite nice, but there is so much lacking. I know I have no choice but to join or leave, and becoming a warrior is not an option. You say they have a choice now, but the decision now means they lose their family either way. What kind of choice is that?" He shook his head with an obvious mixture of disappointment and disgust before addressing the kits, "I would never ask you to leave with me, you all have a place here. But I would not turn any away who wished to join me. The rest... I promise I will not abandon you. I will always be here when you need me, as much as I can."
___

Left and right words were tossed around, the conflict was obvious. Even more real was the idea that Jaystar was not moving on his position. If their adoptive father was to stay, he would have to be a part of the clan. Knowing the ginger and white tom's beliefs, there was no way he would ever join nor sit under the paws of the clan leader. This was no joke. Sparkpaw took a step back, ears flattened tightly against his skull. After everything, after the recent battle, after their entire lives, this was all just going to end. Thankfully, Finchstream was at his side in a matter of seconds. Just in time for the young calico to all but fall into her soft fur. His feet carried barely any of his own weight as he collapsed into the she-cat who raised him.

His nose buried deep into the comfort of her fur. It was a strange sight, seeing a cat who was near fully grown and stood taller than his adoptive mother falling into her like he was a kit once more. The pain of hearing them bicker, knowing that Starlord was going to leave and that things would change shocked him. Why hadn't Jaystar told them before this? Why now? There were so many questions but they flitted in and out of his mind quickly. He was simply left with a sense of exhaustion and a deeper sense of something akin to betrayal and sadness. Jaystar was a cat who had grown to love just as fiercely as Starlord. The fact that the clan leader could so easily make this decision, knowing what it would cause them created a lump in his throat.

"M-my father or my family? I can't... I can't choose." At first, the words were muttered into the queen's fur but the end almost rose into a distressed groan. Berrypaw made the decision so quickly, somehow. But Sparkpaw felt as if he made a decision then his chest would rip open. His gaze met Jaystar's once more with a pleading him to now make this be a decision. The tom's tone was raw with emotion but he almost laughed as he spoke, "This can't be real. This had to be a joke. T-there's no way. Tell them you're kidding, Jaystar, please. We can't decide can we? No." Sparkpaw's dull green eyes cast over his littermates as he spoke, seeking some sort of comfort and confirmation.

Dark claws curled into the damp flesh of the earth, embedding themselves with such inherent vehemence that the unseen connections that bound them to Galepaw's wide forepaws strained and shrieked in protest. Glaring down at the muddled, churned up earth with a narrow whisper of a gaze, the dark-furred tom remained stoically silent as he merely listened. Void of any outward emotions aside from the frigid, simmering sense of rage that strengthened within his being, the young tom simply stifled whatever emotions might've arisen in such a situation in favor of the mind-clearing effect of anger. What good was a choice that was already made? What good was a cat who was willing to throw away somebody they supposedly cared for without a moment of hesitation? What good was a world where everything seemed to fight against them? Unwilling to even spare a single glance at Berrypaw, the tom shifted uneasily as he listened to Starlord's words in the absence of any further pleas of behalf of his remaining littermates.

A place? They had no place.

They did not belong in the forest, nor in the lands beyond.

They would never find a place, not as long as they walked the earth.

Acutely aware of the many eyes that watched on with a plethora of emotions, Galepaw wrenched himself away from the company of Starlord and Ivypaw, smoke-stained fur ruffling to a wild bristle. "I suppose we're expected to give the answer that pleases the most," the ice within his voice did not reflect the grief that wrenched within his chest, "I'll stay, but not for any of you." Pristine teeth flashing briefly in a display of anger, the dark-furred Apprentice was quick to whirl around to shoulder his way through the loosely scattered crowd, merely becoming a dark flash of fur that quickly covered the length of the shallow clearing. Without meeting any cat's gaze, Galepaw was quick to roughly flee through the barren reeds that were intricately woven to shelter the island from unwanted visitors. He would seek out Starlord once he was inevitably driven from the camp and speak to the tom then, but for now the last thing he wanted was to be in the company of his Clanmates.

Another familiar voice piped up in similar tones of anguish, but before Finchstream could find a way to extend her vain attempts at comfort to her daughter Ivypaw she felt her fluffy tail being pushed away abruptly by Galepaw; as it fell to the ground, it was as if a piece of her soul fell with it, and she watched in agony as her adopted son's pitch-black form enveloped Ivypaw, emotion prickling at the corners of her eyes.  This...this isn't right.  As the conversations continued though, she still didn't speak, the queen's golden eyes darting frantically from one shattered face to another, a horribly familiar queasiness beginning to rise within her throat; maybe words really could cause cuts.

At first, Jaystar's words made sense to her.  As much as she wished Starlord could've been able to stay with them, he had made his choice.  No matter how many fish he caught or patrols he tagged on to, if he continued to be adamant towards his hatred of clan ways, he would never be permitted as a warrior...and she agreed with that.  She didn't signal her support though; this was not the right time.  What her respected leader spoke next though...

To her memory, she had never before in her life been that angry.

Yet, she was still silent.  Berrypaw's swift, loyal confirmation warmed her heart and she shot him a quick loving glance, but the sudden weight of Sparkpaw's grieved form made her gasp.  She supported him, though her legs trembled from the force of too many emotions to name, and she gently rasped her tongue over his calico ears, just as she had done when he was young.  She murmured hushed words she couldn't quite make out and felt a tear drop from her eye onto his pelt, but she heard every word, every confused, heartbroken syllable as her son turned to cry out to the cat who had put this impossible request upon them, her beloved children!

When Galepaw replied though, it was as if everything in the world stood still.  She turned, eyes as wide as full moons, but as she did so she could feel herself collapsing.  In a moment, she was laying on the ground with her paws folded under her, yet the she-cat still twisted her head around to watch her dark-pelted kit dash off through the crowd, his bitter words lingering in the air like frost.  "G-Galepaw!  Sweetheart, come back!"  Breaking away from Sparkpaw, she scrambled to her feet clumsily - belly still swelled with milk and baby weight - but by the time she had stood he had vanished.

A rapid heartbeat drummed in her ears, head bent so low, her tufted ears brushed the ground.  She was stiff, cold, helpless...but when she turned around, a raging fire burned in her once fearful eyes, and it was pointed directly at Jaystar.  "I mean no disrespect Jaystar...but I refuse to remain quiet any longer.  H-how...dare you!  How dare you give these cats - my children - an ultimatum like that in such a confusing time!  They're about to lose direct companionship with the closest thing to a father they've ever had, and you think now is the time to go back on your decision?!  I remember that night clearly Jaystar!  You and Goldeneye alike were determined, determined, to take them into RiverClan, when never before you have let kits of dubious origins enter our camp and stay to become warriors!  Where is that determination now?  Has your sympathy run dry now that their kitten fluff is gone and their eyes can comprehend the complexities of this world?!  I love RiverClan with all my heart, I assure you, but many times before...I have doubted if my morals and our legacy can really be aligned.  I thought that, maybe, you would bring a bright new dawn to our clan tainted by revenge and chaos...but now I see, that you're more like your mother than I thought you were."  The coldness in her voice was so foreign that Finchstream almost didn't recognize herself, but her face still burned passionately as she returned to her position alongside her kits, tail now resting over Ivypaw.

"What you have done today is wrong and cruel, and if you think that this is how children should be treated - regardless of blood relations and clan lineage - then I pray the stars have enough power to soften your heart of stone."