Drowning In Lies

The rain beat the earth mercilessly, the sound of it echoing through the forest until it reached nearly a deafening height. It was midnight, and the snores of the other apprentices were drowned out by the crash of thunder and the pounding, pounding, pounding on the roof of the den.
Most of the apprentices slept through the storm, only to awaken with groans when they realized that the den had sprung yet another leak. Most of the apprentices had no reason to stay awake thinking anyway.

Lilypaw was wide awake. Although at a glance she looked completely asleep, her mind was running over and over the decision she had made earlier that evening. Her thinking was interrupted every so often by the steady drip, drip, drip of water, which was coming from the ceiling at the center of the den and landing on a newly-named apprentice's nose. He snuffled in his sleep, rolling onto his side and rubbing his face as the raindrops ran down his cheek. Lilypaw blinked.
It was time to learn the truth.
At first it had started as an itching, nothing more than a tick or a flea in the back of her mind. Annoying, yes, but easy to ignore.
But as time passed, the knowledge that Rippedstar might not be a pure-blooded Skyclanner kept cropping up. She would be hunting, and then suddenly she would be struck with a sudden urge to scream "I don't belong here!"
So finally, she would discover her father's secret. And from there... She hoped her sisters would let her carry out her plan without too much of a fight.

With a sigh, Lilypaw heaved herself to her feet. She gingerly picked her way around the others, managing to skirt around most of them. If she was going to be able to do this, she had to stay in the moment. One foot in front of the other. The small, spotted apprentice narrowed her sky-blue eyes. Nearly there.
Suddenly, her paw made contact with something wet and cold. With a small hiss of surprise, the Skyclanner leapt back and landed directly on an older apprentice, a large, intimidating she-cat. Instantly, Lilypaw was on her feet and racing out of the den, her heart pounding as muffled hisses sounded from inside. The storm was much louder now that she was outside, and she crouched miserably near the wall of the den until she was certain the last of the apprentices were fast asleep. Nobody noticed she was gone.
She supposed that was a good thing. It would make it all easier, anyway.

Head low, eyes slitted against the vicious wind that whipped through her fur, Lilypaw made her way over to Tinystar's den. She clambered up the rocky path, nearly losing her purchase more than once and only narrowly avoided being swept clean off of her feet.
After what seemed like a lifetime, the young she-cat managed to arrive at the entrance to the den. She paused for a moment before stepping over the threshold, casting a quick look behind her at her silent camp. The guards looked miserable.

"Tinystar?" Her voice was barely a timid squeak. The journey here seemed to have taken all of the young apprentice's courage. She was small, thin, and trembling. Her fur was a mess. More than anything, she wanted to forget about everything and go back to the way things were, safe and warm in the apprentice's den.

Even with everything going on, Tinystar still found solace in his sleep, that is, until he was pulled away from his slumber. Lifting his head, the small leader's blue eyes blinked a few times as they looked to the entrance of his den. There, stood Lilypaw, just barely illuminated by the tinted red sky. What was she doing here at such an hour, he wondered, but none the less, forced himself to wake up more.

"Come in," the small leader mewed with a smile as he stretched out his legs from where they'd been tucked against his white pelt as she entered. "So, why might I be graced with the presence of an apprentice tonight?" he chuckled in good spirit, though he didn't really know if it were day or night. Troubling times might have been plaguing the clans, but that didn't mean he wouldn't be himself and knew he had to at least try and keep the moral up throughout SkyClan. Besides, he was sure that everything would work out in the end, so no need to be so downbeat about it all, right?

Lilypaw's entire body shook- with fear or cold, she couldn't say -as she stepped slowly into the quiet stillness of the Leader's den. She sat down near the entrance, her sky-blue eyes roving over the large cave that Rippedstar had once occupied. She shivered once, then stopped trembling. Her father had lived here, but there was no trace of him left.
She turned her gaze to Tinystar.
"I... I had a question." She began, not knowing where else to start. Starclan, help me..." "About... about my father."
In a few moments, she would know the truth. If Darkflower hadn't been lying, if the cat she spoke to in Starclan was right, then Lilypaw's entire life would change.

But did it have to?
Did she really need to know? Wasn't it better to just spend her days here, in the place she was born, living in simple ignorance? Surely that was what Rippedstar had intended- otherwise she would've known the truth from the very start. It was clear that her father wanted her to lead a life of peace, feeling that she belonged to Skyclan instead of spending her days torn because of events that had happened long before her birth.
Deep in her heart, she knew she had to find out. She wouldn't ever feel complete again if she didn't know the answer.
The young she-cat took a steadying breath, feeling her paws on the cold earth and willing herself to speak. Slowly, she raised her head until she met Tinystar's gaze.
"Was Rippedstar born in Skyclan?"

Listening as she began to speak again, Tinystar's ears perked at her first comment. She wanted to talk about Rippedstar? The small leader found it a somewhat odd request, seeing as though there was so much that the clans were going through right now, but even so, he wasn't going to ignore her curiosity.

Swallowing a lump that had accumulated in his throat, he met Lilypaw's gaze she asked her question. Rippedstar, although his leadership was short lived, he had been a member of SkyClan for quite some time. Tinystar and his brothers didn't exactly like the WindClanner when he'd first joined, but the small tom grew to accept him, especially when Crowstar chose him as deputy, which proved to the clan that he wasn't exactly a bad cat, even if his blood didn't come from SkyClan.

"N-no, he was not," the small leader mewed after a few moments of gathering his thoughts. "Rippedstar was born a WindClan cat. For whatever reason, he decided to desert his own clan and join us. For a while, no one really accepted nor liked his presence, but he grew to be a valued warrior, at least in Crowstar's eyes," he added, looking up to the apprentice and wondering what her reaction would be.

Lilypaw's black-rimmed ears perked as Tinystar opened his mouth, leaning forward in anticipation. Yes... please say yes...
She needed to hear this. She needed to be certain that her father was a pure-blooded Skyclanner.

"N-no, he was not,"
What?
"What...?" Her narrow chest trembled with the force of her whispered question. Not pure... she was impure. Skyclan wasn't her family. The blood of her clanmates didn't flow through her veins. Everything she had fought for, everything she had spent countless hours training with Sedgestrike, that monster...
It was all for nothing. "What?" That was all she could say. Her head was filled with static, like a hive of bees, swirling through her brain endlessly. She could barely gather her thoughts...
Rippedstar... Windclan. Windclan. Rippedstar was born a Windclan cat.

No. No. Lilypaw shook her head back and forth, trying to clear it. The moment the buzzing lessened she stood up suddenly, interrupting Tinystar's hurried, empty words. "No... you don't understand. I-I'm not... I'm not a Skyclan cat...?" The words felt alien in her throat. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. This wasn't what she wanted.
"I-I... I don't belong here. I shouldn't even... I need to..."

She knew what she had to do. She had known, deep down, that this was a possibility that she might someday be forced to face.
She had to leave. She had to return to the place she was meant to live- a place she had never been.
Windclan.

"Tinystar... I don't belong here." I have to be strong. "I... I think I need... to leave. To go back to..." She trailed off, her wide blue eyes meeting Tinystar's. Please understand...

Watching as the panic set into Lilypaw's pelt, it wasn't the reaction he was expecting. While part of him wanted to interject her fumbling words, he kept his muzzle shut, letting the young she-cat finish whatever she had to say, which also gave him time to think of a reply. Deep down inside, part of him admittedly didn't mind if she left, seeing as though he was so protective over his clan's lineage, but he knew he couldn't have said such a think aloud.

"Lilypaw, you may not be of exact SkyClan blood, but you are still a valued apprentice to our clan," he mewed softly, a slightly conflicted smile on his muzzle. "But, that being said, I'm not going to stop you from making your own decisions. If you wish to go to WindClan, then go. But just know, Brindlestar might not take kindly to outsiders, so leave at your own risk. Once you leave, you will no longer be considered as a member of SkyClan and will not be accepted back, if rejected by WindClan," while the words felt harsh against his throat as he spoke, the small leader knew they had to be said. He couldn't be letting cats back into his clan once they left and even though she was apprentice, this rule applied to her as well.