Fading Feathers (Open)

A soft droplet of rain fell onto the orange pelted cat laying quietly just outside of the medicine den. His wounds from the fox and owl attacks had long since healed, showing scars on his shoulders and left back leg. Yet the tom barely made it out of camp these days. Green eyes opened, glazed as he slowly lifted himself to his paws. His coat, once sleek and well groomed showed signs of his lethargic behaviour. It was far more than mere laziness. He padded slowly to the opening of the nursery and settled down near it. That journey alone feeling like a great ordeal and a monumental effort.

He stared down at his paws unhappily. His tail twitched in unease as he felt dulled pain beneath his pelt. A young warrior like him, should be out of camp. Should be hunting, providing and being a protector. Yet it was all he could do for the moment to look out for his kits. When would this end? Dismay pricked in his heart. He wanted to be out there, with his sisters and brother. He wanted to run with them, charge up the gorge and run through the moonlit forest for fun. His tail twitched as he heard a cat padding up to him and smiled at them. Despite his pain, he refused to look as miserable as he felt.

Wisteriapool's slight obsession with Featherheart's kits had resulted in making her feel upset whenever she had to leave them. She would rush on patrols, just so that she could head back and spend time with them. It was all she really had to look forward to in life; seeing the small, innocent smiles of her nieces and nephews. So, she padded into camp rather quickly, carrying a vole and a mouse in her jaws. Any time away from the nursery was too long for her. After dropping the mouse in the fresh-kill pile, the warrior kept the vole and padded over to see if the kits and Robinsong wanted some food. She paused once she locked eyes with a familiar ginger tom. She dropped the vole at her paws and gave the tom a smile despite the fact that she grew worried whenever she saw him.
"H-hi, Fe-Featherheart," Wisteriapool greeted her brother, softly, "Ha-have you b-been fe-feeling alr-alright?"

The she-cat desperately wanted to hear Featherheart reassure her that everything was okay, and that he was completely healed, and that everything had all been a dream, and they would go running through the forest together like the night that she had found out about his pain. However, she knew that this "dream" was more of a nightmare, and it was all happening in her reality, whether she liked it or not. She held back a sad sigh, not wanting her brother to be concerned with her. It was her job to be concerned about him, now, and she would have to place her own emotional problems aside.

The sight of his sister's ginger and white pelt made him relax. His smile easing into a true and honest one, though he pointedly avoided looking at the vole. Seeing it would make his stomach turn, all fresh-kill had been doing that lately. It was part of the reason why his coat was so dulled, his muscles fading a bit. Still, he forced himself onto his paws and leaned to bury his muzzle against her neck with a soft purr. Taking in the scents of the forest she brought with her. The scent of wet grass and soft mud. Of a hunt and the soothing comfort of one he has known since birth.

"Mhm... I'm..." He paused, then looked away guiltily. The last time he had lied to her, it hadn't gone well. "...I'm tired, but that's not new." He offered instead, as his legs burned and begged him to lay back down onto the soft earth. He did so slowly, green eyes glanced back at the nursery.
"I think the litter is asleep for now." He murmured, though he would never stop her from going inside anyways. Featherheart trusted his sister not to do anything that would come close to harming the precious little bundles. They were safe, snug and warm in the den. Just as he wished he could be once more.

He didn't feel the tears that slipped through. Anger sudden and hot flowed through him as he thought about what he should be doing. How he should be, and wasn't. He was supposed to be a warrior... and instead he had to rely on his sister to care for his own kin. With a shudder, he shook off the thoughts of angry self-loathing.

Wisteriapool quietly purred as her brother gentle buried his muzzle in her neck. She gave his ear a small lick, letting his scent flood her nose and warm her heart. Nothing made her happier than being constantly reminded that she had a loving family, a group of cats that she could count on and turn to when everyone else turned away. The scent of herbs seemed to be thick in Featherheart's pelt, and that only reminded Wisteriapool of the time that he had been spending in the medicine den. Her heart seemed to grow heavy in her chest as the two littermates pulled away from their close contact. There was a fear growing in the back of her mind that she didn't want to admit to Featherheart, because she afraid that it would scare him, too. The thought that the ginger tom in front of her could be alive one sunrise and dead the next made the warrior feel absolutely sick to her stomach, and every day her fear seemed to grow bigger and weigh her down even more.

"I-I'll let th-them sl-sleep," The she-cat started, smiling softly, "Th-the da-darling need their s-sleep. A-and so d-do y-you. I-if yo-you're tired, wh-why ar-aren't you a-asleep?"
Worry was evident in the sister's bold yellow eyes as she gazed at her brother. There were so many things that she longed to tell him, and so many things that she was holding back. However, all of her own problems slipped away once again when she saw tears beginning to form in her brother's eyes. An immediate reaction took over the warrior as she laid down beside her brother and pressed her small form against him.

"Pl-please, br-brother," Her tone was pleading, "T-tell me wh-what's on your m-mind."

"It's not fair. " He muttered, his voice cracking as he pressed his head to Wisteriapool's shoulders. A tremble wracked through his body, but he refused to cough. To show that weakness even though his state was unfortunately obvious. No matter how he tried to hide it, he'd never really succeed. His claws had scratched the surface of the ground as soft drops of rain were replaced by a startling cold leaf full of water. Featherheart coughed, then glared up at the canopy above them. He saw the flash of a squirrel high in the trees, but he didn't try to catch it. His breathing turned ragged as he coughed and tried hard to regain his breath, even as his chest ached and the weather, warm as it was, was doing little to help him.

"... I want to be out there." He finally meowed, gaining his breath back and settling close to Wisteriapool's side once more as he realized he had moved slightly away during the coughing fit. "I want to be hunting with you again, to be out there in the forest... being a Warrior. Instead I'm stuck here, like an elder..."

Wisteriapool gave his ear another quick lick. She couldn't fully understand what her brother was going through. She would never be able to empathize with Featherheart unless something like that happened to her. She silently began to hope that whatever the ginger tom beside her had wouldn't be caught by her, or Wildfire, or Dappledpaw, or even Flickerpaw. It was still so hard to believe that something so random could just... happen to her brother without it happening to anyone else. The she-cat's mind suddenly began to twist and bend as she attempted to conjure up some words of sympathy and encouragement to say to Featherheart. What could she say that hadn't been said before? A large, sudden wave of sadness crashed down on Wisteriapool as she tried her hardest to place herself into the paws of Featherheart.

She would never be able to go on her peaceful strolls through the forest, she wouldn't be able to hunt for the Clan, it would be harder to be with the kits every day, and so many sights and smells would be missed just because she would be cooped up in the medicine den all day. Tears managed to make their way out of Wisteriapool's eyes as she began to speak.

"Yo-you're still a wa-warrior, y-you're j-just as gr-great as an-anyone i-in the w-warriors' de-den."
The she-cat took a breath as the tears suddenly stopped.

"You're one of the bravest, strongest cats that I know..." She managed to say, and no stuttering stopped her from getting the message out.

The moment he saw his sister crying, Featherheart forced his tears back. Tried to force back his anger and frustration away to where it couldn't be seen, where it wouldn't hurt her as he listened in silence. He smiled at the lack of stuttering, she only did that when she was determined, or convinced. Still, the words that felt sincere from her, felt hollow as he tried to echo them in his mind. He wasn't strong. If he was really strong, he'd be able to fight this illness off. He would have been able to be well by now. He would be able to at least eat something.

A soft sigh slipped from his muzzle as he rested his head on the ground next to her. Lifting it was hurting his neck and chest a bit, it was so much effort.
"I want you to promise me something..." He meowed softly, slowly as his gaze went up to hers seriously. Discomfort in his eyes as he forced himself to say words he never wanted to tell her. Never wished upon his kin to hear again. "Promise me... you'll remember me as the warrior I was... and not..." He looked away. Ears flattened in dismay "not as I am now." the sentance was hard to finish. It felt like, and was, a confession of what he knew deep in his bones.

He wouldn't make it. Whatever this was, it was going to kill him. No amount of claws or teeth would stop it. The best he could do, as he turned to Wisteriapool's gaze once more, was comfort her.
"I'll watch you, protect you, all that I can. I swear it."

Wisteriapool's ears flattened against her head. How could she make a promise like that when she saw her brother the exact same? Nothing had changed within the familiar ginger tom. The pain he felt was only harming him physically... did he really feel like it was changing him emotionally? A pang of unease struck the she-cat's heart as she made up her mind. She couldn't say no, she had to promise him this. The warrior that Featherheart was still lived inside of him, and apparently Wisteriapool could see it clearer than he could. Her yellow gaze met his green eyes, and she seemed to pass a silent message through the look that she gave him, it was if she said, 'How could I ever promise you this?' through her facial expressions, however, her words rivalled that.

"I pr-promise." Her voice came out in a quiet whisper so soft that even she had trouble hearing, and the feline realized that she had sealed a deal with Featherheart.

She couldn't turn back on it... could she? There was so much running through her veins as she continued to stare sadly at her brother, before a question tumbled out of her maw, something she had been holding back for so long, something that she longed to know, but didn't want to know at the same time. She had to know exactly how this nightmare would end, and she needed to know, now.

"Fea-Featherheart," Wisteriapool began in a tremulous voice, "A-are you g-going to di-die...?"

Featherheart blinked slowly at her. The promise lifting his spirits slightly. A soft sigh left his muzzle as Wisteriapool made her promise. Relieved to know she wouldn't have to remember the bedraggled cat before her now as he thought over her question carefully. It was one thing to know, but it was hard to say. To acknowledge that he would be leaving his clan behind for StarClan and all it promised him. Still, if any cat deserved to know... it was his sister. The one he had looked out for all his life, and looked out for him in turn.

"...yes." He lifted his head, his green eyes serious and remorse filled. Swallowing back his fears of the subject. "I... I don't know how much time I have..." He paused, uncertainly. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, his concience, his grief and worst, the denial. The part of him that still clung to life desperately and declared that it could never happen, wouldn't happen. "I'm not afraid. I know my kits are in good paws... you have the rest of our siblings, our mother, the clan..." His gaze darkened as he looked down to his paws. "Perhaps I've been holding you back all this time. Stopped you from making connections you sorely needed in my desperation to keep us close."

Wisteriapool had finally received an answer, and she had honestly expected to hear Featherheart say that he was going to die. However, the words still struck her heart like a bee sting. The brother that she was seeing beside her right now was going to be gone sooner than she thought. More hot tears gathered in her eyes and poured down her cheeks as she shook her head. Everything that she said made her feel selfish, like she was making Featherheart's problems about herself, but there was no way that she couldn't let her brother know what was going on before he died.
"I-I ca-can't lose a-another o-one, es-especially no-not you..." She tried her hardest to not let her crying be a hindrance to her speech as she made a solemn reference to Flickerpaw, "Y-you ta-taught me h-how to b-be mo-more co-confident, y-you t-told me that I di-didn't ha-have to pr-prove my-myself t-to a-anyone, y-you sa-saved my l-life, you we-were al-alw-always the-there for me."

She shook her head, which caused more tears to fall from her yellow eyes, "Yo-you we-were never h-holding me ba-back... i-if an-anything, y-you ma-made me a be-better c-cat. I wo-wouldn't b-be wh-where I am n-now wi-without y-you."

The orange tom sighed softly as he watched Wisteriapool slowly begin to break down, wincing as Flickerpaw was mentioned. His poor sister... he wished he could have gotten a chance to see her again. Really, he still could. A plan fluttered into his mind to rush out to the RiverClan border and demand to see her. Just as fast as the plan came to mind, it disappeared. It wouldn't work, if she was still alive, then he would never see her again. A sharp sting of pain echoed in his limbs as he forced himself to sit up once more. The muscles in his body working hard just to support the meager weight the tom still had as he rested his muzzle on her forehead.

"I'll still be here for you. Remember?" He asked softly. His orange tail flicked behind him and curled up around his paws. "Even in StarClan, I promise I will do my best to look out for you." He withdrew with a sad smile on his muzzle. "I'm proud of the cat you've become Wisteriapool. Don't let this stop you from becoming more. Look after the new generation, they will help you."