Reunion of a Lifetime (Closed)

The blazing golden-and-pink light of the setting new-leaf sun silhouetted the form of a cat that stood on top of the ridge that surrounded the hollow of Fourtrees.  He had made good time, using the secret tunnel that led underneath the Thunderpath to cross without danger, and had arrived at his destination punctually, maybe a little early in fact.  With just one quick glimpse down between the trees, he could tell that Lakewhisper had not arrived yet.  Taking a long, steadying breath, Ryeheart trotted down the slope, his paws touching the all too familiar oak-leaf strewn floor of the five clan's monthly gathering place.  This little piece of serenity though held too many memories for the ShadowClan warrior to count; it had been here where Smokefang attacked the clans and had almost succeeded in her villainous plans.  That was until Ryeheart himself had found a loophole in her defenses, and killed the cat who had started his chain of misfortune, Swoop.  It was here where he met his beloved mate Willowpetal, where they met and talked and laughed...where she had bled out to bring their kits into the world.  He still remembered each little bundle of fur clear as day; Beekit, the little she-kit who had mirrored his ginger tabby fur, Vixenkit, unique with her dark ginger pelt and brown tipped muzzle and ears, Ravenkit with her dark blueish-gray pelt that was a darker version of her mother...and Lakekit, the perfect mix of both his tabby stripes and Willowpetal's beautiful pale coat.  They had once laid here, helpless, beside their mother's dead body.  Now though, Ryeheart turned his gaze forward, towards RiverClan.

He had been too much of a coward to keep his kits.  They were born in the reigns of Fishstar of RiverClan, and Magpiestar of ShadowClan.  Both fiercely proud leaders, both unwilling to accept foreign kits without good reason.  He had always known that his beloved children would get the best chance at a happy life in their mother's clan; there would have been too many questions in ShadowClan, too much suspicion.  In the end, he had left the kits just over the RiverClan border, nestled beside Willowpetal's dead body.  He had never expected to see them again, almost didn't want to for fear of what they would say...but his life wasn't complete.  His heart yearned for his children across the border, and tonight...he was finally going to right the wrong he had committed so long ago.  My son...I'm ready now.  Come to me.

Lakewhisper was at war with his emotions. It was only a few moments ago that he had left camp to head to Fourtrees where he was meeting Ryeheart for.. some reason. He was anxious to get the gathering place, but also, he was nervous to be going there. What if this was some sort of cruel trick? How could a ShadowClan tom know anything about his mother? He had never once spoken of her to the tabby tom. Not even mentioned her name, but somehow, he knew stuff about her? It made his pelt prickle with suspicion and anger and.. hope. For some reason, there was hope budding within him. Hope for what? He didn't know exactly. Just that it was there, and it was slowly growing the closer he got to meeting him. Despite the hope though, he had almost turned around and gone back home a number of times, but in the end, his desperation for information about his mother spurred him on. He wondered what Snowblossom would think. Would she have tried to persuade him to not go? Would she have urged him to go? He couldn't be sure, and with her in the nursery with their kits, he hadn't told her of the meeting. He hadn't wanted to worry her.

Finally, he was brought out of his thoughts as he pushed through the brush surrounding Fourtrees and stepped under the canopy of the large trees. His haze immediately found the familiar tabby pelt of Ryeheart, and he hesitantly started towards him. "I'm here.. What did you need to speak with me about?" He meowed, trying to steady the nerves and desperation that clung to his voice.

Ryeheart's ears pricked at the sound of a rustling in the bushes that bordered the clearing and stood up straight as his son emerged into the clearing, a soft smile on his weary face.  Every time he saw Lakewhisper...he couldn't help the powerful rush of fatherly love that overtook his soul.  This strong, handsome, respected warrior was his son, his own flesh and blood.  If only he had been able to watch him grow into what he was today...would things have been different for them both?

He dipped his head in a casual nod of greeting; his icy eyes though were shadowed by knowledge, a burden he had carried on his shoulders for much too long.  "Yes...I called you here to talk about Willowpetal...."  Standing up from where he sat near the trunk of one of the oaks, the long-furred tom flicked his fluffy tail as he turned and padded over towards the Great Rock, seating himself in front of it slowly, with his back turned to the pale tabby tom.  Though his face was not visible, he seemed nostalgic, lifting his head to look up at the large stone with a distracted sort of air about him.  He was traveling through memories of a lifetime...some good, some bad.  After a moment of silence, he began to speak.

"I knew your mother before she died.  We met here...heh, funny story actually.  I wasn't much older than you are now...I had come here out of boredom and a thirst for exploration.  I scaled the Great Rock, standing on its peak, pretending to be greater than I was.  I had always dreamed of being leader...those ambitions are far behind me now.  Anyway, I was so wrapped up in my daydreaming that I didn't notice that another cat was also here...Willowpetal.  She called out to me...what did she say again...oh!  "I didn't know they let kits become leaders in ShadowClan.'"  He laughed, his back still turned.  "Long story short...I fell off the rock, to land right in front of her paws.  An awkward introduction yes, but it blossomed into a great friendship..."

He paused.

"Lakewhisper...tell me what you know...about your mother."  What had RiverClan told him?  Did they say that he was born to a foolhardy she-cat who had left camp right before she was to give birth?  Had they told him that ShadowClan scent had been found nearby...he hadn't bothered to disguise his scent in his grief.  Had he been...loved?  Cared for?  Adored, as he was never able to?  He didn't turn around, but his ears were pricked.  He needed to know.

Lakewhisper followed hesitantly as Ryeheart turned and padded closer to Great Rock. His brow furrowed in confusion as the tom turned his back on him and he had to really focus on what the ShadowClan warrior was saying. So they were friends. His mom.. Friends with a ShadowClan warrior. That's odd. He tilted his head, brow still furrowed in furthering confusion. "I.. I don't know much. Just that she was shy during her first several moons of life. I've been told that she was kind, smart, a good sister and daughter, and.. a fierce warrior. I know she died giving birth to me and my siblings.." His voice trembled slightly at his last sentence. "I-I know n-nobody knows who her mate, my father, was. Some say.. um, well, some say my father didn't want anything to do with us, so he.. uh never claimed us, but who knows. They're just rumors. I gave up trying to figure out who it was when I became a warrior and a father myself." He shook his head, a humorless laugh escaping him, not sure why he was revealing these feelings to some warrior of a different clan. "What am I doing? Why am I here?" He finished, squaring his shoulders and hardening his voice. This was crazy. He shouldn't be here.

Ryeheart's shoulders slumped miserably.

For a long moment, the older tom was silent, his face lowering from the Great Rock down to his paws.  It was what he had most feared...Lakewhisper had grown up believing that both of his parents were gone, one in death and the other in denial.  In a way...it was true.  He and his siblings had been alone...but they had never been forgotten.  If only they could have known...that just across the Thunderpath was a father that loved them more than life itself.

"Well...RiverClan was right about one thing at least.  Your mother was an amazing cat.  Kind, smart, funny...but also humble.  She never boasted, or put others down.  She accepted others for who they were, beyond boundaries and borders.  She was a warrior until the very end, fighting to the death to bring you and your sisters into the world.  She was brave, much more than I ever was......"  He trailed off, seemingly lost for words as he swam the depths of his memories.  Finally, after what felt like moons of silence, he turned his head around to face Lakewhisper, but he didn't meet his gaze. "On the second account though...they were wrong.  I met your father.  He loved you so, so much, before he even laid eyes on you.  He and Willowpetal were overjoyed to be parents, to raise a family of their own with kits that felt completely and totally loved."  His voice was growing choked, so he stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing.  "He was there when you were born...by your mother's side until the end. He saw her off to StarClan with tears in his eyes...he never abandoned her, not for a second, and he never abandoned you...not truly.  Not in his heart."

Finally, he fully turned around, to stand in front of the pale tabby tom with his eyes fixed on his son's face and his tail low.  Yet...he was ready.  He held himself with a confidence he had not felt for so, so long as he stood vulnerable before him, not as an enemy warrior...but as family.

"Lakewhisper...that tom was me.  I am your father."

Lakewhisper was about to turn around and leave when he saw Ryeheart's shoulders slump dejectedly. What in StarClan's name is going on? He thought in concerned exasperation. He began approaching the tabby warrior now as he began talking. He had just arrived at his side when he mentioned knowing his father. "Wha-" He sputtered, but he was cut short as Ryeheart continued on. This wasn't making any sense. If his father was so happy that we were born, then why wouldn't he show himself? Why wouldn't he be in their lives? His mind was racing with confused and doubt-filled thoughts when finally those four words left his mouth and his heart seemed to leap into his throat.

"I am your father."

He shook his head in disbelief as he slowly backed away from the tom before him. "But.. That doesn't make any sense.. I- Why would she- But you're ShadowClan. I'm RiverClan. I can't.. I c-can't.. I'm not ShadowClan. I-I don't un-understand. If your.. m-my.. fa-father, why did you wait until now to tell me. Why not at least, I don't know, try to be in our lives? My sisters.. We grew up thinking you didn't love us! That you didn't care about us.. W-we were all alone.. I-I I mean, we had Sp-Splashwillow, b-but she wasn't m-mom.. she w-wasn't.. y-you! We needed you! All those rumors.. All that torment... It could have been avoided. We could have been a family! You say you didn't abandon us, but you did. You were selfish. You could have joined RiverClan. We could have had a father, but you were too much of a coward to show you broke the code. H-how could you? My kits could have their grandfather.. but no, they'll grow up not even knowing you existed. You have no idea how much I wished for this growing up. That one day you would show yourself. You would come home from some force that kept you away from us, but you never did. I lost hope and eventually, I stopped looking for myself in rogues, loners, and my clanmates. I learned to be happy by myself. I found a mate who I love dearly and who loves me back. I even have a family of my own now, and I'll be there for my kits. I'll be there to lift them up when they fall down and when they accomplish things. I'll be there for them. For everything they need. They will never wonder if they're loved because they'll know. I'm not sure what you expected from this. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I had to grow up with that my whole life." His face was contorted in pain and confusion and disbelief, and even through his harsh words and hurt tone, there was love under it. It was faint, and he was doing his best to push it down, to tell himself that he didn't care. That only made the tears come though. He tried to push the tears away too, but that only made them spill over in a never-ending trail down his face. His back was now turned away from Ryeheart, but his shoulders shook with each restrained sob. Why is this happening? Why now?

With every word expelled from his son's mouth, Ryeheart felt a crack widen across his soul.

He had been fully aware that this would probably be Lakewhisper's reaction...but no amount of preparation could've told him how much it would hurt.  It felt as if every agonizing shred of memory from his time away from his children had burst to life inside his brain, flooding his body with a terrible burning sensation of rejection.  He lowered his face, head bowed before the tom he loved with all of his being, and took it all in.  For a moment, he almost looked to be calm...but that was the farthest thing from the truth.

"I'M SORRY!!"  In a sudden burst of emotion, Ryeheart whipped his head up and yowled, his icy greenish-blue eyes welling with tears.  His unsheathed paws trembled uncontrollably.  "I..I couldn't...I had no other choice Lakewhisper!"  His chest heaved rapidly, but he didn't even try to calm down as he rushed into a desperate explanation, his words just a spilling of melancholy memory.  "When you and your sisters were born...Fishstar was leader of RiverClan, and Magpiestar was leader of ShadowClan.  They were both great leaders...but they had no tolerance for half-clan kits or relationships.  Even less for outsiders.  Son...the only way you could've lived a normal life...is to have gone to RiverClan without me."  He paused, his fluffy cheeks wet with tears that tumbled from pleading eyes, willing him to understand.  "Please, think about it...your mother was a well-respected warrior.  She had kept the secret of your parentage well...I knew that if you were found alongside your mother's body, you would be accepted without question."  He cringed, the image of Willowpetal's body flashing in his mind.  My love...give me strength.

"If I had tried to join with you...there would have forever been a legacy attached to your name.  I would have been like an intruder within the clan - if I had been accepted at all - and either way, you and your siblings would have been forever known as half-breeds; and ShadowClan...the same thing.  There would have been too many questions there...and even if I had passed you off as rogue kits, you probably would've just been tossed out.  Please..."  He took a cautious step forward.  "...please Lakewhisper, please see...I only wanted the best for you.  I wanted you to have all the opportunities as other kits did, without a shadow constantly hanging over you.  Yes, I knew that rumors still flew about you...but at least you had a home.  At least you were able to find happiness, a purpose...a life of your own.  That's all that I ever wanted for you..."  Ryeheart's voice was growing horse from the strain of effort.  He had to convince him...had to show him...that it was for the best.

"Maybe it was selfish...but I made a hard choice Lakewhisper, one that I regretted for moons.  My heart never ever left you, and I say without reserve that...I truly love you.  Your sisters too...all of you.  I tried to move on, but I was empty.  There have been so many times when I was on the verge of giving up forever...but I'm glad I didn't."  Shaking, Ryeheart made a risky move and extended his tail so that it gently, barely touched Lakewhisper's white tabby shoulder.  "Even if you hate me...and could never forgive me...at least I got to see your face one time...as my son."

Lakewhisper startled at Ryeheart's sudden burst of emotion, but he remained facing away from the tom. Now images began flashing in his mind as his father continued on desperately. He was walking to the fresh-kill pile, but instead of friendly looks from his clanmates, they were suspicious and disgusted looks. He shuddered as the image dissolved and was replaced by another, much worse one. His mother's name tainted. His clanmates snarling nasty comments towards her, his sisters, himself, and... his father. In all of these false memories, his family was outcasts. He and his siblings were distrusted and scorned. His father was attacked, mocked, and slandered. They had no friends, no trust, and worst of all... no love from his clanmates. He would have spent his whole life trying to prove himself to the cats who had supported and loved him his whole life.

That was the life he would have lived had he had his father in his life. He knew that, and the more Ryeheart spoke, the more the horrifying images swirled in his mind. He knew he was being cruel and irrational to lash out at the tabby tom. It just hurt. StarClan, it hurt like The Dark Forest. His whole world was crumbling around him, but his anger was quickly dissipating. All that was left was the grief and pain, and the continued sobs wracking his large body.

He was so stuck in his own thoughts, that the touch from his father made him flinch at first, but he soon relaxed into it. He let himself lean on his father now. He buried his tear-stained face in brown tabby's fur. He stayed like that for several moments until the sobs finally died down, and his tears seemed to dry up as if he had no more left in him to expel. Soon, he was looking at Ryeheart, his amber eyes still shining with confusion, but there was something new there. Forgiveness. Love. Acceptance. He knew there was nothing to be done to change the past. He knew that if it had been any different, his life would have been worse than it had been. He knew his life hadn't been terrible. He knew now that he loved the tom before him no matter how much he wanted to be angry at him. "Ryeheart.." He whispered, voice raw with emotion. "I don't.. I don't hate you." He amended softly, not looking away from his father's pleading green gaze. "I understand... I get why you did what you did, and I-I for-forgive you." The tears were threatening to return now, but he pushed them back down. No more tears. He was going to get through what he wanted to say without any more tears. He could do this. "I'm sorry." He whispered under his breath, barely audible. "I-I l-love you... D-Dad." He finished, choking back tears once more.

In the long moment that Lakewhisper didn't respond, Ryeheart could feel the sickening bubbling of anxiety begin to rise in his throat, and he had to choke it down.  He's going to reject me...this was a mistake, why did I think I could handle this?  Ryeheart you idiot...you absolute idiot of a cat!

But then, he felt the soft brush of his son's fur against his chest, brushing his chin.

Lakewhisper, his body shaking as he sobbed...was nestled against his own for the first time.

A fresh batch of tears falling from his eyes, the ginger tabby tom wrapped his long fluffy tail across his son's back and drew him closer with a foreleg.  He held him tightly close, his muzzle resting on top of his head as if he was still a young cat, his icy green eyes shut tight as slowly, his sobs transformed...into a purr.

He would've been content to stay there forever, white fur colliding with orange, their identical tabby stripes gleaming in the setting sun, but after a long while Lakewhisper pulled away, and faced him.  The tom's soft, horse words resounded in his ears like birdsong, and with every second he felt himself begin to be revived, joy and peace returning to his heart as if a spell had been lifted.  His face brightened, eyes gleaming with a mirthful reciprocation of every sentiment his son displayed until he finally couldn't contain himself.  With an overjoyed laugh, he leaped forward with the energy of a cat much younger and less world-weary than himself, and barreled into his son, embracing him once again as if his very life depended on it.  "T..thank you!  Thank you...so, so much Lakewhisper...I love you too son, with all my heart, and don't you ever forget that."  Drawing away, he wiped his eyes with a forepaw to clear them of tears, before gazing at Lakewhisper in anticipation.  "So, tell me about everything!  How are your sisters?  You mentioned that you...have a mate, right?  And kits?  Am I a grandfather?!  What are their names?  What do they look like?"  He purred gleefully, not minding that he was rambling and pushing forward a million questions at once.  They had time, for everything...all the time in the world.