Now Cracks A Noble Heart (OPEN, Important)

Nectarleap walked into camp, a rabbit and a hare between his jaws. Hunting had been successful that day. Overall, he hadn’t had the worst day possible. Sure, he hadn’t uttered a word, but he wasn’t constantly reminded of the amount of tragedy he had faced in his life. Or that arrogant ShadowClanner. As he placed his prey in the pile, he noticed the amount of cats that had gathered around the leader’s den. Was there some sort of meeting he didn’t know about? Curious in the dullest way possible, he made his way over to the group, wondering what was so important. All he saw was a sleeping Ashstar surrounded by terrified and grief stricken cats. What was wrong? Didn’t they see a cat sleep before? That’s when he noticed that the rise and fall of her chest was gone. Still, he wasn’t too concerned. Leaders lost a life all the time, so what was so horrible about this? Any second the honorable leader would just pop right up. That was how it worked. But everyone seemed so upset, and he didn’t understand any of it. Then he realized Featherlight was there. Medicine cats knew. Smokepelt and Brindlewhisker were there, and they were horrified. They must have been told. Suddenly, the weight of the situation came crashing down on him. Their leader was out of lives.
Ashstar was dead. If he wasn’t already broken, he would have cried out in grief and pain. But now he was past grief. So he just stared blankly, a million painful thoughts racing through his mind. Nectarleap had faced difficult times before, that was for certain, but his leader had always been his stone, keeping him sane. Now she was gone. The old him would have raced to her side, or done something to help. Now he just stared, lingering with a blank expression for a long time. For him, moons seemed to go by as he simply stared at the gray she-cat’s lifeless body. Finally, he turned and padded into the warrior’s sleeping area, curling up in his nest and placing his head on his paws. Not a trace of emotion touched his face the entire day. And he doubted that it would ever return.

Not daring to move or even open his eyes, the leader's death happened faster than a mouse darting to it's hole. In a split second after she mumbled her last words, Ashstar's body turned cold and a chill was sent up his spine. A feeling as if her spirit flew up from her body, Smokepelt found himself holding his breath, but soon let out a soft sigh that just barely ruffled the pelt of his now diseased mother. No, it couldn't be. StarClan couldn't take her from him, not like this, not now. All that she'd been through, all that she'd done for WindClan, all that she'd done to him, for better or for worse, none of that seemed to matter now. All that mattered was that she was still alive and well, and their leader.

"No... no no no," the warrior choked, tears beginning to stream from his eyes and onto the dusty ground bellow. "Please, don't leave me," he whispered, the words barely coming out. He didn't care what she'd said about always being here, 'cause it was a lie. She wasn't here, she was gone. Dead. She couldn't possibly never leave them, she was gone, and that was that. But... now that she was gone, what was he supposed to do? Yeah, he had Cedarfur and Brindlewhisker, but they weren't Ashstar. They didn't understand him like she did, they weren't his mother. Nothing and no one could ever replace Ashstar, and Smokepelt didn't know if he'd ever really get over the fact that she was actually gone. Not just a life lost, gone. For real and forever.

Curled up in a ball like a sleeping kit next to his mother in Leafbare, Smokepelt buried his muzzle into her now cold pelt. She was gone. His mother, his friend, his leader. And while he knew that he could no longer feel his warm touch, he wanted to do nothing more than lay by her side, even if it meant laying by a dead cat. 'Oh StarClan... father... take care of her,' he begged silently, clenching his eyes shut so hard that the blackness of his mind began turning white. If anyone tried to move him, he wouldn't budge. Nothing could move him, not even the force of StarClan themselves. For as long as it took, he would stay by her side, no matter what.

Resting her entire weight upon her haunches, a strange numbness began to spread from within Brindlewhisker's being. The frigid tingling sensation began within the tips of her toes, so slight that it was hardly detectable, before scorching outward and burning away any emotions that might of still coiled within her shocked mind. Ashstar was dying, but all she could feel was...nothing. Heated stinging nipped at her eyes, perhaps announcing the flood of tears that was likely the cause of her blurred vision. Yet, the tears didn't seem to fall. The ripping fury of her emotions that had once been tearing through her mere moments before had seemingly cooled and died, leaving only a bitter taste within her mouth. She had felt like screaming, like crying, like whimpering as though she was only a helpless kit who had lost their mother. What had changed? Only bowing her head, Brindlewhisker was able to faintly detect a sharp twinge of pain gnawing at her chest as Ashstar's breathing finally halted.

Eyes drifting shut tightly, she inhaled a weakly controlled breath through her nose at the sound of Smokepelt's grief. If she was able to feel anything, she would've likely felt envious. She wasn't allowed to break, to let her resolve waver, to submerge herself within the suffocating depths of grief and sorrow- she couldn't, not with the burden of Leadership resting upon her shoulders now. Bleary lids opening, her gaze hardly recognized the shadowed features of her kin and Clanmates who still lingered within the den alongside her. "Leave us." Brindlewhisker instructed, shoulders hunching slightly as she watched Smokepelt huddled against Ashstar's rapidly cooling form, the warm shadows of the den providing a brief moment of seclusion from the countless prying eyes.

Spiderfur's ears pinned back as she saw her words ignored. Wasn't Ashstar beloved by all of them? Shouldn't WindClan be allowed to grieve as a whole? Her eyes and nose began to burn and a hard lump formed in her throat.

She could see how Ashstar's death was both a great loss to their clan and her family, but her heart was conflicted. Despite the heat of Greenleaf her tiny form shivered. Should she obey her new leader's command, or acknowledge that she was part of Ashstar's family too, and grieve alongside them? The senior warrior moved her small frame in a way that blocked part of the dead she-cat from her Clanmate's view. She watched with a clenched throat as Smokepelt broke. Spiderfur's soft eyes moved to Brindlewhisker's face and noted how... odd she appeared. She looked like an overcast sky. The old she-cat turned her head and motioned a silent, 'Go,' with her tail. Even if she herself couldn't stay, she knew that those closest to Ashstar needed to mourn first. They needed time.

For these few moments, it felt as if every scar on her body had been reopened.