Autophobia (Semi open, PM me first)

As soon as Swoopnose had remembered his silent vigil, the excitement at becoming a warrior had dropped, turning into pure terror. How was he supposed to spend the whole night alone? He should have said something, or at least done something to stop or prepare for this, but he didn't want to think of him as kit-like when he was a warrior. Now he was alone, his green eyes wide. So far the sound of his classmates talking quietly had kept him sane, but soon their voices stopped and he couldn't even here their breathing. His heart banged inside his chest as he looked around wildly, seeing none of his classmates. No, he would make it through the night, everyone else did. But no one was there! If he died, he would die alone and have no one to protect him. Every horrible possibility came to mind, and soon he started raking his claws through the soil to calm himself. It had little effect, and even though her knew he could just cry out, his loyalty to the warrior code rooted to deeply to leet him speak. It was a silent and alone vigil, and seasons of tradition couldn't be broken because he was being a scaredy-mouse! This was the longest time he had ever been alone, and it wasn't even midnight yet. Way more than half-way more to go. The terror became too much for the poor tom. He dropped to the ground, shivering violently, praying for this all to stop. Fearing for his life, he let out a loud whimper, before clamping his mouth shut. At least it hadn't been words. Even though this kind of fear was beyond anything he had experienced since being buried in the snow, he would rather die than break the code. By accident, he rolled into a thorn bush, wincing at the sharp pain the erupted in many tiny points along his rear. To lost in fear to free himself, he was stuck. This couldn't be happening. It was like last time, just now alone without Robinpaw to save him, and he couldn't speak. In the morning his clanmates would find him dead, killed by a pricker bush if not something else, or so he feared. The concept of dying seemed so painfully close, as if StarClan was about to reach out and take him. Once again he let out an involuntary whimper. No. He would face death bravely without breaking the warrior code. Silent sobs came from him, and the new warrior choked on his fear. Oh great, now he was going to die of suffocation! If only someone was there to help him, if only he could speak, if only he wasn't alone! Crazed with fear, he would soon turn violent if not saved.

Birchheart yawned and stretched, leaving the warrior den. She often left for short trips when it grew late and quiet. Doing so let her think and she got lucky with prey on occasion. She groomed her face, eyes wandering around the clearing. The pile was bare, she hoped she could change that. She heard rustling near the entrance. Curious, she trotted over. Then, she could pick up the whimpers. She grew worried. It was Swoopnose's vigil, right? Was he hurt? How could he be when he was so close to camp? Stepping out of camp, she saw him stuck in the bush and sighed. He was okay. Mostly, at least. She didn't want to scare him so she reached out and nudged his back with round paws to let him know she was there.

His golden flank rising and falling steadily, Leopardclaw was curled up in his nest settled in the center of the warrior's den, his hazel eyes closed.  To any cat who was not looking too closely, he seemed to be asleep; the way his muscles tensed uncomfortably and the anxious, faintly sad expression on his face told differently though.  Out of habit, he was squeezed into one corner of the nest, his back pressed against the edge of the dug-out pile of moss and feathers.  For a minute more he lay restless, before finally opening his dull, tired eyes.  He couldn't take it any longer.  With a hushed grumble, the golden spotted deputy raised himself to his paws and stepped cautiously through the den, taking care to not accidentally step on a sleeping cat's tail or ear, and stepped out into the dark, cold night.  Shaking off the shreds of moss that still clung to him, he glanced up at the sky.  Not even moonhigh yet.  He let out a weary sigh.  Well...the night is young.  Might as well make myself useful, if sleep wants to keep eluding me.  His paws padding silently across the frosty ground, he was half-way to the camp entrance when he heard something; a whimper.  

His ears instantly erect, Leopardclaw narrowed his eyes and glared around the clearing, searching for the source of the noise.  Who was that...?  Who's out right now...there aren't any night patrols, everyone should be in their dens, Swoopnose is keeping his vigil...  At that moment, as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he caught sight of the gray tabby tom.  Curled on the ground, stuck in a patch of brambles...choking on sobs.  He saw that Birchheart has also left the warrior's den behind him, and was approaching the young tom.  He contemplated for a moment on wheather to stand back or step in, but in the end decided.  Many thoughts and emotions ran through his mind as he padded across towards the new warrior - namely a concerned confusion - but he also contemplated...he had never heard of a warrior crying and cowering during their vigil.  It was supposed to be a night of silence, encouraging the young cats to take pride in their new status and reflect on what that would mean for the rest of their lives.  He vividly remembered his own vigil, where he and Lichenfang had done just that, and despite his worry a faint feeling of doubt began to taint his thoughts as he reached Swoopnose and Birchheart.  His eyes hard and unreadable, he hissed lowly in a monotone voice; "Swoopnose, calm down, breathe."

Swoopnose had been moments away from passing out from sheer panic. About to completely lose sanity. It was a wonder he had made it this long. Due to this, he didn't smell or hear Birchheart coming towards him, not even aware of her presence until he felt a prod on his back. The thought that it was a predator left his mind as he turned his head and saw her fluffy face. Instantly, his fear disappeared, replaced by absolute embarrassment. Why did this have to happen? Why was it only him that felt this way about being alone? If only he could have actually faced and conquered his fear tonight instead of letting it grow stronger. Still feeling obligated to keep silent, he stared guiltily at the she-cat, pelt burning with embarrassment. That feeling only grew when Leopardclaw came over. His already warm fur felt like he was on fire. It was one thing to get stuck in a bush in front of his crush, but making a fool of himself in front of the deputy was another level entirely. Especially right after his warrior ceremony. He followed the older tom's advice and took a few deep breaths, fear almost gone. Now that his mind had been cleared, he realized that he wasn't hopelessly tangled in the bush, on the contrary he easily pulled himself out. The newly appointed warrior hung his head, hoping he wouldn't be punished. But he now knew he couldn't spend the rest of the night alone. The tradition would be followed and he would protect the camp in silence, but he would need someone awake so the same thing didn't happen again. His green eyes looked up hopefully at the deputy, still staying silent.

The she-cat jumped a bit and dipped her head respectfully to the deputy, looking back at the newer warrior to see if the advice was working. Birchheart smiled as he calmed down and let the moment steady itself. She felt bad seeing him hang his head. It wasn't fair. Swoopnose didn't deserve this in the slightest! He deserved to be happy, not reduced to sobs when he was alone! He worked hard enough as it was... She thought for a moment. It wouldn't hurt to have another pair of eyes guarding camp? "Leopardclaw, would it be alright if Swoopnose didn't stay by himself for the rest of his vigil? I don't mind staying up." the she-cat mewed with a hopeful glint in her eye.

Leopardclaw blinked and nodded slightly in acknowledgement of Birchheart's greeting, before glancing back down at Swoopnose, who thankfully seemed to be calming down and breathing once again.  Sitting down on the frosty ground, he watched as the anxious tabby tom untangled himself from the brambles and stood up, his head hanging low.  His face read clearly the fear and humiliation he must be battling with, and the deputy broke his stoically serious grimace with a faint reassuring smile.  The tom was still young, he could be forgiven for foolish and odd actions such as this.  He swiveled his ears at the sound of Birchheart's voice, and turned his eyes towards her as he listened.  For a moment the logical doubt that being with a close friend could cause Swoopnose to break his vow of silence crossed his mind, but suddenly a memory struck his mind like a bolt of lightning; their preparations to leave for Swoopnose's moonstone trip, the young tom's words.  'Uh, Leopardclaw? Will you be my friend? I mean, just for the journey, but I don't like to be in a place without a friend for even just a little bit.'

Leopardclaw understood now.  Oh, StarClan...he's afraid of being alone.

It was obvious to see that a realization had come over the golden tom-cat, his eyes glowed with a mix of bittersweet understanding, and sympathy.  For a moment he was silent, staring down at the ground, but he managed to pull in his thoughts and look up at the two younger warriors for a moment, before nodding a distracted yes.  "Oh..yea, yea...that's fine with me."  Getting to his paws, the deputy looked conflicted for a moment, before he meowed: "Well then, I'll leave you two here..."  Turning around, he took a few steps towards the warrior's den, before remembering why he was out here in the first place.  Backtracking, he extending a paw in the direction of the elders den, before seeming to quickly change his mind.  The camp entrance still lay ahead, but the bleak emptiness of the forest now didn't seem as appealing as it had before.  In a sort of surrender, Leopardclaw signed and hung his head for a moment, before padding back over to the two warriors.  "On second thought...I think I'll stay up too.  Couldn't sleep anyway...might as well be useful.....I'll be over here."  In a effort to quell the sudden wave of awkwardness that had flooded over him, Leopardclaw sat down a few tail-lengths away from the others, and set his sight on the camp entrance.  His shoulders hunched, the tom's hazel eyes gleamed with something invisible to the other two cats, blocked by distance and darkness; a too long present sadness.

Swoopnose threw a grateful look to Birchheart, glad at her offer. If he was allowed to talk, he would have purred his gratitude out, but he didn't want to ruin it after so long. Just having another cat present would make this traditional vigil possible for him. Just hopefully Leopardclaw would allow it. His green eyes stared at the deputy pleadingly, expression saying everything his mouth couldn't. He watched the tom's face turn from confused to understanding, as he probably realized the he was never going to change from his mouse-hearted self. Relief spread over the new warrior's face, and he allowed his muscles to relax as he sat down. Maybe this night could actually be enjoyable, if he just got over the initial disaster. Guilt and embarrassment still lingered within him, but he trusted the two cats to not spread rumors about him. Plus, it didn't do to linger on what had happened in the past. Even if the past had just been earlier that night. He gave the deputy an odd look at his sudden awkward words, but it disappeared quickly. The other cat's personal life was none of his business. He smiled at Birchheart, before looking out into the darkness of the forest, his fear now gone.

Birchheart returned Swoopnose's smile and sat down, watching the skies through the bare branches. Without their protection of thick canopies, they needed to watch out for birds hunting them from the sky. Silverpelt looked so clear now, she felt like she could see the pelts of StarClan's warriors from where she sat. The warrior didn't mind the cold or the fact that she'd be too tired for the dawn patrol after this. She wanted to keep her promise to the tom, he'd done so much for her already. Birchheart felt rather selfish, he had lead the patrol to find her when she was left pinned at Sunningrocks, he comforted her when she was weak and in shambles afterward. Swoopnose didn't even spread any information about it which she was very grateful for. Her tail flicked in the snow idly as she watched a moth flutter in the moonlight. She hoped the sight of moths meant an end to the snow and the start of kinder times. As much as she loved the Leafbare weather, she loved the idea that kits were guaranteed full stomachs at the end of the day even more.