Birchpaw's Moonstone Journey

Pansyface smiled kindly, before nodding her head in understanding.  "It is not shameful to have your own worries and desires Birchpaw, and all of your concerns are valid and realistic.  Some of them I shared in life, actually."  She let out a soft laugh before continuing.  "I always wanted to impress my clan, and my family.  I was the granddaughter of Crowstar, and both of my parents are well-respected, noble warriors.  I wanted to prove myself to be just as good as them, if not better.  I wanted to make my mark, and be remembered as a great warrior, just like them.  That desire in and of it's self isn't bad at all...but if you let it control you, and your actions, it will only lead to disappointment and hopelessness."  For the first time that night, the patched she-cat's murky green eyes narrowed seriously.  "In the end Birchpaw, the only person you have a job to impress is yourself.  You don't need to compare yourself to your siblings, or your parent's expectations.  Just be the best you, the real you, and take confidence in that.  As long as you follow the warrior code, and put your clan first, you will be remembered."

Pansyface took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment; when she raised her head up again, her eyes once again glowed with friendliness.  "I assure you Birchpaw, you are not being a burden upon your clan by training.  Every cat in ThunderClan wants to see their promising young cats grow up to be skilled, capable warriors, even more so now in this hard leaf-bare you're facing. If anything, they probably want you to train as much as you can, so you can become a warrior and supply your full hunting and fighting skills as soon as possible.  Just because you don't have an assigned mentor anymore doesn't mean that no cat would want to spend time to make sure you grow into all you can be."

Pansyface's words took quite a bit of weight off of her shoulders, certainly she'd need time to stop the habits she had started but, she hoped to have the same idea soon. Pansyface knew her problem well for sure, and seemed to have the answer. She just hoped to grasp it soon. She had worried about her image for so long, she didn't know what being herself felt like exactly. Her identity had been to impress her parents and live up to them. That had been her goal. She felt a bit lost without it. She'd try, she had to. She just... had to do things for the good of the clan and her own morals, right? She had never thought to break the warrior code ever in her life and with this leafbare, she couldn't think of doing things entirely for herself if she didn't want another clanmate to starve. She just had to do her best? Compared to impressing her mother who wouldn't frightened if a pack of wolves came into camp, it sounded oddly easy. "Thank you, Pansyface. I didn't think anyone struggled with this. I'll try to follow your advice but I think it will take time to grasp it. I've thought purely about impressing them for so long. At least, I have a new goal to focus on and I don't need to feel guilty about training with cats who aren't my mentor. You've really helped my clear my head; I'm not sure how I would have figured it out. I'd probably end up the way you predict. I hope I can avoid that path." The she-cat meowed, wrapping her fluffy tail around her paws.

This is the last time I'll be able to post her using her tail ;/
///shot))