I Still Need You To Lead Me [Closed]

Watching the young tom in front of him settled heavy on the elder's heart. He knew what it was like to feel that way. He remembered vividly how he felt the same way during his time as deputy, after his sister's horrifying death and the first several seasons as leader. However, the longer he led, the more numb he had become to everything: clan relationships, fights-- he even pushed away his own mate despite her efforts to comfort him and bring him back. And when she finally passed...

Thrushstripe had fallen silent for much longer than he had anticipated. The two sat in the quiet of the den for ages before he had come out of his thoughts. "Even if what you did might have... been wrong, the past is in the past," the old tom meowed softly. "Despite everything, there's nothing that... you can do to change it now. You did what needed to be done. You saved the clan that you... have served so well. It takes a lot of strength to put the clan over yourself. Your time is better spent on what's ahead for... you and for your clan mates, Flamestrike. You won't forget, but you have to accept what has happened."

As the elder spoke, Flamestrike's gaze did not flicker up from its fixed position on the ground. His ear twitching slightly was the only indication that he had heard the former leader speak at all. The words barely registered to the defeated orange warrior. However, as they finally did, he realized how much truth their was to them. A nagging feeling tugged at the tom's insides. It penetrated through the numbness, the flood of wild emotions, and touched the logical part of him. Thrushstripe was right. He couldn't quite believe it too be true. No, that would take plenty of time to get through his head. There was nothing he could do to change it. No amount of wishing or regret would abolish the internal torment. He needed to accept what had happened. A labored sign left the warrior's chest. The obvious pain and weight of the past was there, but something new as well- acceptance.

"I killed my brother. For the sake of my clan. The ones I love." It was an obvious statement. Flamestrike had said it more aloud for himself than for Thrushstripe's sake. In order to truly come to terms with it, he needed to accept it and move on. His kits needed him more than the shame of the past did. He had three sons to raise. Regardless of what had happened, it was time to begin working around it. His thoughts toyed with the idea. A slight frown worked its way onto his maw, but was quickly replaced with a neutral expression. He finally pulled his gaze away from the dirt floor to meet the elder's eyes, "You're right, Thrushstripe. I can't live in the past."

"Yes, I am," He said simply, the end of his tail twitching patiently. Looking up at Flamestrike, the elder met his gaze solidly. "I have... killed my own kin as well. Although I am ashamed to call them as such." He took a deep breath. "It will... be okay Flamestrike. You will get through this."