The Nostalgia of Scars

There wasn't much to do here in Twolegplace. Not much that was new. Each day had the same roughness and hostility, fighting for every scrap of food and whatever bit of shelter this disgusting place had to offer. Being here reminded Scorch of his kithood, back when his name was just Maple. It hadn't been any easier back then, but then again, it was his mother and father who did the fighting and scrabbling to keep him and his siblings alive. Harriet, his mother, was the sweetest cat he'd ever known, although her honey-colored fur was almost always dirty or flecked with blood. His father Georgie hadn't been around much, though his mother assured him that he was the reason they were fed every night. Many things had happened since then.

Scorch, for one, had become hideous. His wide-set form was covered in long, shining scars that rippled when he moved. It was as if he'd never left the fire. His eyes, once the color of his mother's fur, were clouded and almost blind, and his voice was weak and rasped due to the smoke he had taken in. The only fur he had were brown tufts clinging onto his head, spine, and at the end of his tail. The Twolegs here often looked at him with disgust, not to mention the other rogues and kittypets. But still, everything seemed better whenever he sat upon the last fence and looked out into the familiar forest beyond. A small, old scar around his front paw brought him an odd sense of nostalgia, even if he'd gotten it from a fox. Foxes weren't as bad as dogs. What kind of cat was he if he longed for when that injury was new? He chuckled to himself, if hoarsely.

Memories flashed in his mind's eye; the very first time he'd stepped into Skyclan's camp with Silentstar, of his few dear apprentices, of when he found love with Daisysong... That was so very long ago. He stared longingly at the trees, wishing for a moment that his legs weren't strong enough to climb them, maybe then it would be easier to resist that smell of pine sap and acorns that he loved so much. His gaze, however weak, continued to take in every leaf and twig, so much so that he was a bit too detached from his surroundings.

Addergaze continued to stroll through the outskirts of SkyClan's territory, enjoying the blissful sounds of bird-song and wind in the trees which was so much more different than the sounds she had become accustomed to over the past few moons. Ever since she had given birth to Thrushkit, Aspenkit, and Breezekit, the Warrior-Queen had spent most of her waking time crammed into the stifling nursery, cleaning up the inevitable messes that her rambunctious kits seemed intent on constantly creating. Some she-cats would be entirely satisfied with the prospect of giving up all their Warrior duties to take care of sniffling kits, but to her it was if she was trading in everything that she loved in life. It was almost complete and utter torture at this point!

With her limited free-time, Addergaze was determined to walk the entire expanse of SkyClan's territory, trying desperately to rid herself of the stiffness in her hips and forelegs, doing her best to ignore the occasional sharp twinge that resonated from within her lower belly and inner hind-legs as she did so. But honestly at this point, she wouldn't even mind just finding a place to sit as long as it was away from her constantly mewling kits. However, a new, odd scent attracted her attention and immediately, she dove into a nearby patch of ferns as she caught sight of the stranger, heart pounding as the long-missed flood of adrenaline filled her action starved body. Finally! Something exciting!

Pausing from her sheltered hiding place within a scraggly, half-dead clump of ferns, Addergaze crouched down further to observe the stranger whom was seated so close to SkyClan's border. Her sharp amber eyes fell into slits as she observed the tom's rather bedraggled state- in place of fur, the majority of his scrawny form was branded with dreadful patches of scars that glinted in the weak Leafbare sunlight, and her fur prickled as she managed to catch a glimpse of his cloudy, nearly blind eyes. How could a cat manage to be that ugly? A flash of pity encased the she-cat for a brief moment as she continued to stare at the unappealing rogue. 'I should just drive him away now,' Addergaze reflected heatedly, 'or else he might wander into our territory and die.' She continued the rather brutish train of thoughts, muscles twitching under her long, heavily-tangled fur. But something about the strange tom's scent made her hesitant to forcibly drive him away. Although he mainly reeked of Twoleg filth, the undertones of his scent were vaguely familiar and..almost familiar? But how could that be? She would of definitely remember meeting such a horribly-scarred cat!

Addergaze continued to remain entangled within her befuddled thoughts, glaring at the strange tom as she decided her course of action. Wasn't it her job to chase away outsiders? No matter how decrepit and hideous they might look? 'But how happy would every cat be if they found out I allowed some hermit to shelter in our territory just because his eyes frightened me some!' She reflected with a brisk shake of her head as she finally rose to her paws. "Ho stranger- don't you know you're awfully close to Clan territory? You'd best shove off now before you encounter trouble." The Queen finally barked, her imposing form of sheer muscle finally revealed as she slipped from her hiding place and in view of the strange, almost-trespasser.

Eagleheart had not been surprised when his mate was missing from the nursery. The warrior she-cat was not meant to be holed up with kits. It was blatantly obvious. Her normal state since the birth of their kits was agitation. Addergaze needed some time away. He had meowed a quick 'hello' to his children and then disappeared into the forest. At first, he had intended on simply hunting. However, picking up on his mate's scent, the tom decided to follow after her. The two of them had not been out alone in quite some time. It wasn't long before he had spotted her. His head cocked in interest at what he say. Diving into patch of ferns, the she-cat seemed alert. From his position on the forest floor, he could just barely hear her speaking to some cat, but couldn't see the other cat. Creeping closer, he tasted the air. Rogue!

Instantly, Eagleheart's body tensed up. There was a stranger on his clan's territory, and they were talking to his mate. The warrior let out a broken yowl as he launched himself forwards. His claws connected with the unknown cat's muzzle. Only afterwards did he had the time to take in the horrible scars of the tom before him. His head shook slightly to clear away the shock. However, Eagleheart didn't look away as he snarled, "What are you doing on Skyclan territory? And why shouldn't I rip off what is left of your miserable pelt?"

Scorch's ears pricked in response to the voice and he turned his head slowly so that his better eye, the right one specifically, was facing her. His nose wasn't as great as it used to be, but there was no mistaking that scent. She was Skyclan. He didn't recognize her face, although he supposed that he shouldn't; he had been gone for a long time. What had changed? His mouth cracked open and he spoke with a voice that was similar to leaves rustling and wood creaking. It was quiet, but it hurt his throat and he had to pause for breath every few heartbeats. "I'm only watching." He caught the faint scent of milk and began to wonder if this she-cat had kittens, when a shape collided with him.

The breath was forced out of his lungs, leaving him to wheeze and gasp for air. This cat packed a powerful punch! For a moment the elderly tomcat couldn't speak. His clouded eyes analyzed the warrior's face carefully and he twisted so that his joints were marginally less pained. "Is it a crime to look at trees? There-" A tickling sensation rose in his throat, probably from being in this position, and he was forced to turn head away to cough. It smelled faintly of ash and smoke even still. "There isn't much you can do that hasn't already been done." He could feel a bruise forming where he'd hit the ground. That would definitely hurt later. The moment reminded his brain of a battle long ago, when he was still an apprentice. In the confusion, one of his own Clanmates had attacked him in thinking he was a Thunderclan cat. It was strikingly similar to what was happening right now. "Now get off me." He shoved his back legs into the warrior's stomach - claws sheathed - and hoped that it would free him. He would begin to have trouble breathing if he stayed like this for too long.

"Get off of him you mousebrain!" Addergaze snapped, quickly jogging over towards her mate, whom she was very displeased to see- why was he there in the first place? And why did he pounce on the poor, shriveled up old tom? Did he think that she couldn't handle him?! A storm of indignation filled her, adding more speed and force to her paws as she closed in on the pair. Forcing away the chills that wracked her spine at the sight of the disfigured tom, the burly she-cat reached out with a forepaw to roughly prod Eagleheart away from the loner, face twisting slightly as she came in closer contact with the loner. "Crowstar will hang you up by your tail if he finds out you attacked some loner!" Addergaze rumbled, glaring crossly at the father of her kits, "Especially some loner who can hardly defend himself!" She added with hint of sarcasm in her voice. Craning her neck back down, Addergaze glared warily at Scorch for several heartbeats, studying the nearly burnt beyond recognition tom, whiskers twitching as she continued to observe the intruder. "Now why are you here?" She finally grunted, reaching out to prod Scorch's chest with a curious forepaw, "Twoleg place cats don't come here 'just to look at the trees'." She quoted the tom's words dryly, eyes narrowing as she spoke.

Eagleheart hissed as Addergaze shoved him back. His tail twitched in aggravation, but he said nothing. There would be no point in arguing with the fierce queen. Instead, he stepped back, standing slightly behind his mate. While he liked to pretend it was not the case, Addergaze was clearly in charge in their relationship. Kneading the ground with his claws, the warrior glared at the random cat. The other tom was unsightly. How does a cat end up in as bad as shape as this one? Part of him wanted to ask, but he held his tongue. He simply waited, hoping the cat would give them a poor excuse for trespassing and he could lash out once more.

He was relieved when the younger tom was forced off of him. Scorch slowly rose, feeling his joints creak as he sat up. A patch of sunlight landed on his face and he moved away, blinking away the sudden glare. Cats with fur couldn't understand. The sun was a blessing to most, but to him it brought more pain, since it aggravated his skin and, after long exposure, turned it a deep red. His ears turned towards their short back-and-forth conversation, not to be nosy, but at the mention of a name. "Crowstar..?" He was gone for far too long. If a cat named Crowstar was now the leader, then that probably meant..."My condolences," he muttered. Maybe this was a new development. Surely a change like that hadn't happened so soon. Yes, it must have been recent.

"I did come for the trees, but I also came to say hello to someone I know - knew, excuse me." His eyes glanced between the two cats, wary, yet also thirsty for more information. What else had changed? Was Daisysong still here? Oh, he wouldn't be able to make up for what he'd done, he realized. "You... You speak of Crowstar. How long has he been your leader?" It would seem odd if he said his leader's name, so he kept his tongue for the moment. He slowly moved backwards, towards the fence. He still loved Skyclan to bits, but he wasn't mousebrained enough to let whatever was left of his pelt get torn up.

"Crowstar?" Addergaze echoed thoughtfully, eyeing the rogue warily- why would he ask such a question? Rogues and Kittypets usually never knew about the social hierarchy within Clans."He's been leader since long before I was born." She finally murmured, ear twitching reluctantly. Sniffing the stranger, the large she-cat finally sat down on her haunches as she continued to look at the old tom. "Who is this friend of yours that you mentioned?" she questioned, tone still relatively sharp as she addressed Scorch. Part of her was much too curious to drive away the heavily-scarred tom- she wanted to hear more of what this bizarre old tom was saying.

"He doesn't need to know our entire clan history," The warrior grumbled, shooting Addergaze a sideways glance. It had taken away from his constant glare at this new stranger, but his mate was being aggravating. How can we properly defend the territory if we simply stop for a casual chat with every cat that wonders by? A low growl rumbled in his chest, but he didn't bother to out-rightly challenge the other tom again. Addergaze was right in the fact that Crowstar would probably murder him. Sometimes he wanted to tell the leader that is they were a bit more aggressive, like Shadowclan, rogues wouldn't just wonder in and settle down. But they had very different opinions on that.

"Why would someone like you know anyone out here?" He finally dared to question, prepared for the very real possibility of his mate tearing his throat out.

The loner glanced between the two. So... Breezestar had been dead for a long time. Why hadn't he been there for his Clanmates? Scorch felt guilt grow in his heart at this revelation. His eyes, already mostly blind, clouded over in thought. If Breezestar was gone, then she was too.

Well, his tail was against the fence boards now. He could fly up at any point if necessary. So, what was stopping him? "Because my..." No, he couldn't say that. He couldn't say "my mate", if she were still alive. It would put her in a tough situation, although not technically. Besides, he didn't deserve to call her that, he'd probably lost her when he left. His weak heart was pounding in his chest, his one good eye flashing to look into the eyes of the warriors. "Because I was a SkyClan cat myself. I left when Leafbare came in fear I'd just be another mouth to feed." He looked warily at the cats, prepared to retreat back into Twolegplace if they attacked him again.