A Secret that Needs to be Shared [Closed for Inky]

Thistleblaze had promised. She made a promise when they were kits that she would share her secret with Sootwhisper. She was a cat of her word.. She had to tell him, though she had to wonder if he even remembered at this point when she had invited him out to talk privately. He probably did now that she had asked him to talk. The gray tabby warrior was unsure of how he would take this. He promised he wouldn't think of her any differently right? She hoped that he just wouldn't spill her secret to the rest of the clan... SHe had proved herself over and over again she was loyal to Riverclan. She had spent her whole life with them. She trained with them, she earned her warrior name with them. She didn't want to lose that.. Windclan certainly wouldn't accept her back. She was defective. She couldn't run they could.. After what had happened to her leg? She wouldn't be able to hunt. Sure a medicine cat path would see easier but she didn't want to be a medicine cat. She was destined to be a warrior.

She was over thinking this.. Thistleblaze let out a small sigh and recollected herself waiting on Sootwhisper to join her.

Sootwhisper didn’t forget about Thistleblaze’s promise…he promised he wouldn’t forget, and now felt guilty for not telling her about it earlier like he was supposed to.

Then again, Thistleblaze seemed really nervous about it as a kit, and though he felt curious he knew better than to pester other cats to tell him their secrets if they didn’t feel about it. He would sincerely hate to have a cat on his tail constantly bothering him, trying to know all those secrets he simply didn’t want to share. She even made him promise that he wouldn’t think about her differently…could she seriously have a secret so serious that it could change another cat’s perception of her like that?

Trying to shake those thoughts away and keep an open mind, he padded towards the place where they were supposed to meet. When his eyes landed on her he felt his heart skip a beat. The quiet tom rarely liked to be around other cats, but Thistleblaze was another story, he always felt comfortable around her, and even tended to show his emotions a lot more around her than he regularly did.

“I’m here, Thistleblaze, I hope I didn’t made you wait for too long” His voice was probably the thing that had changed the most since they were kits, as his then cute kit voice had disappeared, giving way to a way deeper voice that made him sound older and wiser than he really was.

THistleblaze looked up from the ground when Sootwhisper had joined her. She studied the tom for a moment before she let out a small sigh. "No I didn't wait long." She said. She looked at the ground again and gathered her words. "I'm going to tell you something and I hope you don't think of me any differently..." She faded away from her words for a moment before speaking again. "I lied when I first showed up at Riverclan... I said I belonged to a rogue who abandoned me.. but I don't.. I'm full windclan actually. I came from the warriors Breezeheart and Cedarfur. My mother was a dark forest warrior and so was her sister saltpelt, and they both died shortly after I was born." She said hoping Sootwhisper knew who she was talking about or at least her stories.

"I was bullied by others for being related to them. Saying I was dark forest too, and I would hurt them one day. My father wasn't around.. and my sister was always training.. so no one would defend me.. even the queens looked down on me." The Riverclan warrior said. "I wandered out of the camp, and fell into the gorge on accident.. I didn't want to go back so I said I belonged to a rogue.." The gray tabby said. "I feel so much more at home here... I don't want to leave..." She said softly not looking at Sootwhisper at all.

Sootwhisper nodded solemnly and sat at Thistleblaze’s side, curling his tail over his paws without saying a word. He didn’t want to rush the she-cat in any way, and so he just waited patiently for her to decide if he was worthy of knowing her secret and, if so, for her words.

Thistleblaz’s words reached his ears and slowly gained meaning until they sank deep within the tom’s mind. He had to admit that some things were answered by her explanation…or actually more like a lot of things. He didn’t recognized, or at least couldn’t fully recall, some of the names that were presented to him, though had no trouble to understand their weight on her story thanks to the stories he had listened from the older cats when he was a kit, about those dark times where the ghosts of the evil dead cats roamed between them like they owned the forest. Dark times he had barely dodged.

During her whole story Sootwhisper stood silent and his face stayed as emotionless as always, and once Thistleblaze was done with her story there was a long silence between the two cats. It felt like if the whole forest had decided to put a sudden stop to its natural noises and only a soft breeze refused to follow the sacred law imposed by the trees. It was a lot for the odd eyed tom to digest, and even he was having some trouble to put his thoughts in order even if he didn’t show it.

“I…wish I could say I don’t mind” Sootwhisper’s voice was calm, though there was a slight troubled tone hidden within his words “What you told me, this new…revelation…is hard to accept, you know? Knowing that you lied to those you helped...to me, guided by a past tainted by a darkness that wasn’t yours to begin with…” The black and white warrior stood up silently and walked towards Thistleblaze, placing his muzzle on her forehead in a comforting way. He never had been good at expressing his emotions, and consequently comforting other cats, but that wouldn’t stop him from trying.

“However…that doesn’t makes me think about you in any different way. Rogue or WindClan, whatever your origins may be, you’re still the Thistleblaze I had known since we were kits. From my point of view, the only thing this does is help me to understand you better” After saying these words he pulled back to see the she-cat at the eyes, his tail slowly moving from side to side “There are many ways to call that force that drives us…Luck, future, StarClan…destiny…the only thing we know for sure is that it works on mysterious ways…but it led you to RiverClan and granted me the honor to meet you. I don’t know about you, Thistleblaze, but I wouldn’t change it for anything in this world”.

Thistleblaze stiffened when Sootwhisper first spoke waiting for him to yell at her or get angry with her or something. Maybe even something to chase her off with but no.. That didn't come. Well there was some anger it seemed at first but it soon went away shortly after. She didn't know what to say in response to his words. His kind words.. Many thoughts ran through her mind but none of them formed words. No sound left her mouth until she finally managed a small "T-thank.. you.." She said softly afraid to break the atmosphere that had been created. This kind peaceful space that was a rare find here in the territories.

“Don’t let the shadows of your past keep haunting you, Thistleblaze, and forge your own future far from their influence” Sootwhisper had to admit that he didn’t know what the she-cat had to experience during all those moons, as he never had gone through an experience that could be nearly as shocking and life-changing as hers. This would make the usual ‘I understand how you feel’ a blunt lie that he wouldn’t tell, and instead tried to provide the best piece of advice he could come up with the limited knowledge he had, hoping that it would prove useful for her.

He had the feeling that most cats would just tell her to let StarClan guide her through the right path but, in all honesty, even he had his doubts. Much like Thistleblaze, he had never seen the cats of the stars before, yet, on the other hand and unlike her, he hadn’t seen the dark cats from the Dark Forest as well. All he knew about them came from stories of older cats and their beliefs, and though he respected the Warrior Code and tried his best to follow it at all times, he had some trouble believing that it was made by dead cats living between the stars and given to the clans through some kind of mystic connection. This placed him on that almost invisible neutral territory that most cats tended to evade for one reason or another.

A small smile showed on the tom’s muzzle “I’ll keep your secret safe, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me something like this” His words had returned to their usual almost whisper-like way to be, though they were saturated with an unusual warmth, his usually cold different colored eyes softening. There were many emotions inside the young warrior, emotions that thanks to his personality he couldn’t find the word nor the actions to explain or express without being extremely awkward.

"That is what I'm trying to do.. Forge my own path. It's part of the reason why I stayed in Riverclan. I could forget what happened to me in a new clan." She stated to the tom. She was kind of glad he didn't bring up Starclan. She didn't quite believe in the group of cats simply because she had never seen them. She had seen the Dark Forest warriors and some of them treated her with kindness, even though she was told numerous times afterwads that they were bad. She never saw that they were bad.. It was the Starclan loyalists that she saw as bad after they made fun of her for being related to Saltpelt and Breezeheart. Though she sort of believe in Starclan because many warriors claimed they showed up at the gathering... but still she had never seen them..

She looked up at the time when he returned his tone back to the normal tone, and told her he was going to keep her secret. "Thank you, Sootwhisper." She said to the black and white tom. "You are the only one I could trust with this information." She didn't trust anyone else.

Sootwhisper smiled and nodded slowly “I should be the one thanking you, for trusting me enough to share something like this” His eyes went from Thistleblaze to the sky as he tried to put his thoughts and emotions back in order. StarClan or not, it was still beautiful, reason why one of the warrior’s favorite hobbies was to look up at the sky, both at day and night, a hobby that he had since he was nothing but a small solitary kit and always had helped him to relax “I’m glad you think that way, and I’ll do my best to not disappoint. If you ever need anything, you know I’ll always be there for you” A somewhat hidden loving tone leaked between his words. Deep inside him, he felt a strong desire for this moment to last forever, for him and Thistleblaze to stay together and surrounded by the soft sounds of the forest, the calming sound of the river adding to the whole fantasy-like scene that developed all around them.

“Thistleblaze” His eyes returned to the figure of the she-cat at his side “Do you have any idea of what you’ll do now?” His eyes sparkled with curiosity and even a bit of nervousness, though he was careful to not make mention of the reason behind it as he waited for her answer.

Knowing he was always there for her made her feel more relaxed. She didn't have to keep watching over her shoulder in case someone found out her secret. Sootwhisper would defend her if something went wrong. He would stand up for her.. and if someone found out her secret she had done nothing but prove she was loyal to this clan since she got here. She might not have Riverclan in her blood, but she was Riverclan through and through. She will forever be Riverclan.

When Sootwhisper asked what she would do, she took a moment to think. "I will keep being a Riverclan warrior, and doing my best." She said to the black an white tom.

“That’s a good plan” Sootwhisper returned his gaze at the sky, trying to keep his cool as a million thoughts ran free across his mind. He got right at Thistleblaze’s side, almost close enough for their bodies to make contact with each other “Would you…hum…be interested on going to fish or just take a walk?” He tried to make the question sound casual, though he was just trying to find a good excuse to spend more time with her that day.

"A walk sounds nice. I still need to stretch my legs.. Sunning Rocks is nice but it gets a bit cramped with the whole clan there." The gray tabby warrior said. She stood and waiting on Sootwhisper to lead the way on their walk.

Taking a deep breath, he allowed his paws to carry him across the paths he knew so well. During some time he said nothing at all, and not because he didn’t have any conversation subjects, oh no, but because his thought were running wild across his head as he tried to order them into a coherent sentence. His heart was beating quickly against his chest and his tail looked more like a brush than anything else, showing his nervousness to the world even if his face stayed neutral “Hum…Thistleblaze?” His eyes landed on the she-cat walking at his side. Being so bad at showing his emotions, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had failed to show her how much he truly cared for her, how much he loved her

“I…eh…there is a question I would like to…o-of course I would understand if you don’t…I mean…What I’m trying to…” He could feel his whole fur standing on end, feeling really hot even on the cold weather that came with leaf-fall and nearing leafbare. He was sincerely afraid of rejection, and the obvious nervous senseless words he was trying to use to uselessly explain his feeling weren’t helping him to feel any more confident.

With a last deep breath, he stopped dead on his tracks and looked at Thistleblaze’s eyes. Before he could think any more clearly, think on less direct words or even try to be charming, the words found their own way out of his muzzle “Would you be my mate?”.

Thistleblaze paused when Sootwhisper spoke her name. When he started to speak and stutter, she had a feeling she knew what he was going to ask but she was going to let him get it out anyway because she wanted to hear it. When he finally spit it out, she let out a purr. "Of course Sootwhisper. I would love to be your mate." She pushed her head against Sootwhisper letting out a purr happy to be with him.