Where did You Come From? [closed for Cat]

Rabbitpaw sat in the clearing of the camp, not too far away from the entrance to the medicine den. She had just gotten done helping Oceanlight organize the herbs and make sure everything was in place and now her head couldn't stop spinning from so many herb names in such a short time. Who knew that there were so many remedies for so many health issues? It was a little overwhelming. So, Oceanlight had sent her out to get a little bit of fresh air before getting right back to it. It was nice to lie in the sun and take in the sounds around her as warriors came in and out of the camp followed by several excited apprentices. It was pleasant and calming. With a relaxed sigh, the medicine cat apprentice turned over and looked around the camp again, suddenly freezing as her eyes landed on someone she hadn't seen in a very long time. The feelings that suddenly washed over her were some that she didn't think she'd ever felt before. Was this what it was like to hurt? It immediately felt like a ton of rocks dropped into her belly all at once and it made her a little nauseous. Should she try to talk to the warrior that padded on the other side of the camp or ignore her and continue about her day? What would Antdrop do? Surely he knew that Pebblethorn was back by now. Maybe she should ask him... or not.

All the apprentice could do was stare. It was rude, she knew, but her indecisiveness left her dazed and frozen in place as she desperately hoped that Pebblethorn wouldn't notice her.

Since when did "hope" get anyone anywhere these days? Certainly not Breezestar's line of family. Pebblethorn stalked through the camp, refusing to look anyone in the eye yet. She walked elegantly, knowing it was best to keep her pride. When she'd found news of her others kits' deaths and knew Rabbitpaw was her sole successor, she knew she had to take matters into her own paws again. The kithood Rabbitpaw had had was not the best Pebblethorn could've supplied, but she was full of anxiety, internal and external wounds that only might heal, and disappointment in herself and clan at the time. Not choosing sides in the battle of the Dark Forest left her to leave her family, friends and everyone else behind with no remorse until just recently.

When she felt eyes staring at her, her instincts perked up. The Dark Forest training only made her somewhat paranoid, but it gladly made her stronger and more determined. She whipped her head around only to see her own daughters face staring back at her. She bit down, hard, on the inside of her mouth and took a quick, sharp breath before proceeding to her daughter. "Rabbitpaw." The once-deputy's thick, sharp voice spoke. "It's been a while." She breathed, careful to be more casual with her daughter after moons of iciness and hostility with sharp, large words her kits would never understand. She only wished she'd gotten to say goodbye to her late kits. Sadness tinged in her gut but she shoved it down. "How have... How have you been?" She asked quietly, sitting down in front of her, attempting to make light conversation.

As soon as the former deputy's eyes locked onto the apprentice, Rabbitpaw sprang to her feet, watching her mother intently as she made her way carefully toward her. The different emotions writhing inside of her like a snake left her in a bit of a daze, her eyes wide as they focused on the she-cat's form. She looked the same but it felt so very different. It was almost like looking at a complete stranger. It didn't help that for most of her kit-hood, Pebblethorn was nowhere to be found. Now all the apprentice could do was stare, not knowing how to feel at all. It was so awkward. Part of her wanted to run away, another part of her could feel anger rising up in her chest. She wanted to scream, cry, and ignore her all in the same moment but she couldn't bring herself to do any of those things.

"Good," she said flatly, absolutely no expression in her voice other than a wary look as her tail twitched uncomfortably behind her. "How, um... how are you?" she responded, trying to keep up the facade of casual tone but the quiver in her voice was fairly obvious.

Pebblethorn's eyes narrowed ever so slightly at her daughter's reluctance to even speak to her. She ignored the words bugging her head, though, and cocked her head slightly. "I was- am. I am fine, it is nice to hear you have been well. I know an apology will not work here, Rabbitpaw, but I will admit that I was wrong. I was neglectful. It is not what a good mother would do, but I am afraid I am not a good mother," she paused, thinking over her next words carefully. She gazed at her daughter intently, the anger and, perhaps, sadness, edging through. She was disappointed to know her training of her kits had failed, but at the same time, she was glad they weren't like her.

"Despite, I hope you take my words at least to consideration. I know I am not an idol to be held high- at the very best, your grandfathers are. I suppose I have no higher ranking than a kitten in this clan to you. It is deserved, though..." Again, a pause. "May I ask what I have missed in my absence with you and your father? I know it is not my place to ask, but curiosity bests me." She nudged, biting the inside of her mouth again, keeping her gaze soft still, careful not to let emotion leave her.

Rabbitpaw still had no idea how to respond. If she wanted to know about Antdrop, couldn't she just ask him? Why did Pebblethorn have to ask her? However, there was a small place in Rabbitpaw's heart that couldn't help but feel bad for her mother. She looked like she was really trying to apologize and be sincere about it. Maybe it was wrong to be so mad at Pebblethorn for disappearing for Starclan knows how long without any kind of goodbye. Maybe Rabbitpaw should forgive her. Maybe...

The inward battle only made Rabbitpaw angrier. No, she had a right to be upset! She should be furious with her mother for never being there while she was growing up and pursuing her dreams. The only one she could count on was Antdrop. Yet, she couldn't find it in herself to stay mad. Instead, she simply gave up trying to hold up this charade of disappointment. With a defeated look, she glanced back up at Pebblethorn with a sigh.

"Well, you've actually missed quite a bit," she said. Even after being true with her mother, there was still quite a large disconnect between them. "I'm now a medicine cat apprentice. I've been helping out a lot around Skyclan. It's been busy but I'm glad that I'm doing it. Antdrop... well, he's been good too." she paused, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. Should she actually tell Pebblethorn how her father's actually been doing? "Well, pretty good at least. I don't know..."

Pebblethorn perked up at that. Her daughter, a medicine cat apprentice? Joy flooded through her and a smile adorned her face. "That is wonderful, Rabbitpaw! I am so proud of you! To be a medicine cat's apprentice is a very highly-held position in my eyes and your fathers', too, I am sure," she purred excitedly, before allowing herself to calm down from her joy.

At her daughters next words, she frowned again. "I see. Well..." She paused, shifting around slightly. "I know I should not be sharing this, but I have spoken to Antdrop recently. We are not on good terms, I will admit, but I will not let this affect our relationship. I promise to be on my best behavior for you, Rabbitpaw. I only care for your happiness in trivial times such as this. It is important, however, that you are honest with me on something regarding our relationship."

Another pause, another shift in her position. "Would you like me to avoid you, Rabbitpaw? I can sense unease within you and I am aware that I am the cause. I do not want to make you uncomfortable. I care only for what you want here... I know I am merely a stranger to you, and we can sever ties to keep it that way if you so wish."

That was such an odd request. It had taken her aback slightly as she could only stare at her mother with a quizzical look. Cut all ties? Sure they didn't quite see eye to eye yet but that was a large jump from wanting to talk to avoiding each other at all costs. Somehow, though, instead of calling Pebblethorn out on how stupid of an idea that was, Rabbitpaw stopped, all feelings of that decision slamming into each other all at once. It would allow things to go back to the way they used to be, but this was her mother they were talking about. Even while avoiding her, the sheer existence of the two of them in the same camp would make it awkward. "I, uh..." she stuttered, her eyes growing wide from the sudden confusion she felt inside of herself. "N-No, that's not a good solution... I-I mean.. It might be better-? No, wait... I-I don't know!" she cried, shrinking down away from Pebblethorn, finding herself practically crouched in the dirt of the clearing with her ears tucked onto her head. The words she wanted to say just wouldn't come to her mind and she knew her mutterings sounded completely stupid. In a way, she was terrified of the effect her mumbling had on Pebblethorn.

After several moments of silence, she finally spoke up again, not even daring to make eye contact with her mother. "I... I d-don't want it to be that way. I, um... s-since you're back, I want to try to make this work." There. She could finally say it. "I don't want to hate you, truly. I-It's just going to take time..."