Thymepaw's Medicine Cat Ceremony

Thymepaw quietly stirred in her nest once she heard Smokepetal's voice in her ears. It was difficult to be excited for her ceremony at a time like this. There had once been a time in her life when she had wanted nothing but a name like all of the older cats of SkyClan. She had been brought into the Clan as Thyme, just Thyme and nothing else, and had been taught by the queens about the importance of a name in Clan culture. A name was all anyone wanted... for some cats it was all they had. For Thymepaw, it was a way for her to feel like she belonged. It was a way for her to convince herself during times of strife that she was a SkyClan cat through and through, but the rational part of her knew that her bloodline would always belong to a world outside of the Clans. She was an outsider.

Was she overcompensating to make up for what she wasn't? She was a medicine cat, she was a friend, she was a niece. She helped out wherever she could, she always tried to keep on a smile, and she was raised to look for the beauty and the hope in everything and everyone. She spread her ideals with the rest of SkyClan because she wanted to, and yet her brain still found ways to convince her that it would never be enough. The forest would never recognize her as a Clan cat, and SkyClan would never see her as a true Clanmate no matter how hard she tried. Acceptance and love were all that Thymepaw really wanted, so she supposed that giving that to every other cat that she met was a better option than simply giving up.

Now, her dreams of receiving a full name her finally coming true, and yet she didn't feel the satisfaction that she thought she would moons ago. The apprentice managed to put on a soft smile as she padded out of the den to meet Smokepetal inside the camp.
"I'm ready." She stated, wondering if her uncertainty was showing through.
She had always strongly believed that warriors hid their emotions too much. There was such an emphasis in Clan culture placed on being strong and unmovable that many cats never took the time to process how they were feeling. There were too many bottled up emotions throughout the forest, and that somehow ended up being the root of many problems that the Clans faced. But here she was... hiding how she truly felt. Thymepaw understood why they did it now. Being vulnerable wasn't easy. It wasn't a matter of whether or not she trusted Smokepetal, because she trusted her mentor more than many of her other Clanmates, but it was a matter of her not truly knowing what was going on within herself.

Thymepaw obediently followed after her mentor, taking note of every tree and bush they passed. She passed the time by counting the snowflakes that fell upon her nose and seeing how quick it took for them to melt. She had always admired the changing of the seasons, and how Greenleaf, Leaf-fall, and Leafbare all differed from each other in such incredible ways. She had not yet been alive to experience the nature of Newleaf, but she was sure it was just as captivating.

When they eventually arrived at their destination, the apprentice had no time to stare at the fallen tree in wonder. She pulled herself out of the involuntary trance before ducking in behind Smokepetal and twisting through the darkness before letting out a slight gasp once they emerged into the slightly moonlit cavern. Thymepaw had no way of comparing these sights to the Moonstone, considering she had never seen it before, but this hollow was a wonder in itself.
“It’s beautiful…” She breathed out in an attempt to reassure her mentor that she was not disappointed.
As she listened to the she-cat’s words, Thymepaw felt the heaviness on her heart begin to lighten.

She was… important? The bi-colored molly wasn’t sure how to react to those words. She had never heard them before, but they sounded delightful to her ears. Surely she would always have her doubts and insecurities, but to hear such words of encouragement managed to put a smile on her maw. “Thank you so much, Ms. Smokepetal. It really has been an honor training under you.” She said with a slow and earnest blink. “Truth be told, I’m still not quite sure why I was one of the cats chosen to be a medicine cat, but I feel very lucky. I’m just glad that I’m able to help everyone.”

For a Clan that seemed to despise outsiders so much, it was fascinating to hear just how much untraditional history SkyClan had. It made her feel the slightest bit better to know that she wasn't the only one to face this, and wouldn't be the last. Clan life had been rough, but it had blessed her with a multitude of friends and mentors that had become the closest thing to family to her. If she had been kept with her mother to live her days away from the Clans, then her life would've been far different than it was now. She always needed something to be grateful for. She believed it was always important to focus on the good things that she had instead of letting her mind worry about anything negative.

Smokepetal was right. Both she and StarClan couldn't be wrong. Perhaps Thymepaw needed to give herself more credit. There was a fine line between humility and vanity, and the apprentice wanted to be proud of her accomplishments without overdoing it. She had completely switched from being a warrior apprentice to a medicine cat apprentice right in the middle of her training, and had picked up the meanings and appearances of herbs and healing methods quicker than she had learned any old battle tactics. This was the path that she was meant to take.

"I do." She mewed quietly, yet there was still a clear sense of strength and honesty behind her words.
The name that she had been awaiting all her life was finally about to be bestowed upon her, and she may not have been excited at the beginning of the trip, but she was certainly starting to feel the elation now.