Would I Even be Missed? (open)

Wow I havent posted with Sprucebark in a longgg time. This happens after he gets back from his trip to the moonstone with perchstar. He was trying to see Minksplash his sister who drowned but starclan did not let him. He has been in a pretty low spot ever since.

https://warriorclancats.forumotion.com/t51989-recovery-is-a-long-road-solo))


Sprucebark sat alone on the edges of camp. His orderly patrols done for the day. He didnt have anything left on his schedule to keep him occupied now. Now he was alone with his thoughts all of which were hauntingly terrifying. Why didn't starclan let him see his sister one last time? Had he done something wrong to upset the stars? It's not fair.


The orderly tom who in the past had always been well groomed and maintained, on time for everything and always very orderly... was falling apart, his fur no longer kept up with looking shaggier and dusted, he was late at times to the patrols which was unheard of before this and just in general was clearly losing it day by day.


He had tried to take his mothers advise ... he took some time off to just try and take care of himself but it was like trying to put a mossball over a belly rake.

It was hard for him to just try and take care of himself though, he couldnt stand not being out on hunts or patrols to help the clan. So, After taking as much time off to try and self care as he could put up with and with it not really helping that much he had gone back to his routine.


Hunts in the morning, quick lunch, patrols in the afternoon and maybe some self training to keep his fighting skills up then pass out dead tired and repeat.

In the free time he did have he usually was alone in the warrior den still feeling miserable of the death of his sister.


Any time he was near the river he would get uneasy feelings about it and he was upset that it still had that much of a fearful grip over him. He was frustrated that he a riverclan cat was deadly afraid of his own clans namesake and at times mad at the river for what it had taken from them.

Look at you, a riverclan cat afraid of water... pathetic... you don't deserve to be in this clan if you can't even face your own fears. How are they supposed to rely on you if you can't even handle that? his inner voice taunted at him relentlessly.


Why don't you do them a favor and leave? They would be best off without you

Kitespring could see Sprucebark suffering, clear as day.

It was pretty obvious that something wasn't right after his journey to the Moonstone. He even took some time off to take care of himself. But even after he seemed to take a little break to deal with his day-to-day life, Kitespring still saw him going through the motions. It was something she could recognize from seeing her reflection in the river, the blank look with a false smile breaking through to make people worry less about him.

Now, it was time for her to speak up.

Perhaps Poppyshine noticed him feeling down already, and had already gone to comfort him. But something felt... off, and it pushed her to continue. She could always offer her own words of comfort, anyways, as well as an empathy that even Poppyshine wouldn't be able to give. The two of them grieved the same way, after all.

Stepping towards him, Kitespring cleared her throat. "Um, Sprucebark?" she started. "Is it alright if I sit with you?" It was far from perfect - she should have been more direct, she mused, since he could easily say no and she had nothing to say afterward - but she hoped that he'd be responsive to it.

(OOC... I'm just realizing I never responded to this topic
https://warriorclancats.forumotion.com/t51577-bonding-time-closed

I'm sorry! ... I think its like timed out which is sad, I wanted to hear her story alot but just that topic fell off my radar and I got super busy in life and timed out on it. Its my head canon that she still got to tell him about her life experiences then if that is okay with you? Idk if we are allowed to continue it? If we are I am more than happy to reply there too.

I think if we both agree to reviving the topic we can but idk have to ask staff I guess.)


Sprucebark looked up from his lonely thoughts to see his aunt there. What was this? She wanted to sit with him?

He nodded and gestured for her to join him. "Of course, I would love that" he purred still with the common Sprucebark politeness and formalness. He may have lost alot but he always kept that formal spirit with him.


He managed a small smile. He was happy to see her after all. She was an amazing storyteller and had shared her wisdom with him many times before. He loved his aunt and perhaps right now he needed her help and advise more than ever before.

He gently leaned against her letting out a long sigh. "It's not easy is it auntie kite?"

he looked up at her

"being the one left behind" he swallowed the lump caught in his throat. She had lost her brother (his dad) and her sister the former med cat (his other aunt).

(Maybe we could ask staff about that topic! I... I wanted to respond earlier, but I didn't have muse so I didn't. Probably still should have anyways. If staff says no, I'll write Kitespring's story out for you to read anyways.)

Kitespring nodded solemnly. Being the one left behind... It always hurt. Sharp or dull, it didn't really matter. The pain was just pain, and she could only wait it out. "It's never easy," she mewed. "But... from experience, it... does hurt less, over time." For her, being around others who expressed how much they cared helped soothe the pain she felt, even if it would never heal fully. She hoped to be there in the same way for Sprucebark.

Sprucebark leaned against his aunt a bit more taking her comfort and resting his head on her shoulder with a slow nod of understanding.

"thank you kitespring. This means alot. I am going to try my best on focusing on self care and recover"

He looked at his paws. He knew he was lucky to have such a strong support net there for him.

"maybe we can go fishing sometime together" he meowed in a whisper.

He never had gone close to the water since then but with kitespring he was ready to try and fish again.