Attempted secrecy and a desire for love [closed// Plot phase three(part two)]

((OOC: Phase one in the Denial plot. Occurs a few hours after Phase three(part one).
The posting order for this topic will be tricky. I want to post first, then Sal will post with Wildflower following Smallbean, then Deer will post with Cedarheart and the meeting will start. After the first post Deer makes, the posting order is pretty much back and forth between Deer and i, with Sal popping in with Wildflower's thoughts on what she's hearing. Wildflower's presence will be unknown to Smallbean and Cedarheart until the end. After the meeting between Smallbean and Cedarheart finishes, Smallbean will leave and Deer will not need to post anymore. If Sal chooses to, at this time Wildflower can confront Smallbean about the situation, or keep quiet.

If you guys have any questions at all, feel free to shoot me a pm, i'll be happy to elaborate ^3^

Phase description:

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After a long day of hunting, Smallbean returned to camp, dragging two large hares and a small mouse behind him. The weight of the prey together was almost as much as his own weight, if not heavier. In spite of how large his catches were, he couldn't help but feel like his attempts at making up for oversleeping weren't enough. If only he could've caught something more.

Staring down at his paws, he soon realized that he had been standing at the camp entrance, staring into blank space for minutes now, and he was starting to get looks. Hurrying up, he dragged the rodents to the fresh-kill pile and left them on top, free for anyone who needed to eat. He turned to walk away, but looked over his shoulder longingly when he felt a pang of hunger in his stomach. Maybe... maybe he didn't need to eat. No, he didn't deserve it, not until he was able to make for up his nightly disappearances, or put a stop to them. Deep down, the tom knew that he wasn't going to be able to do that. The best he could do right now was deprive himself of sleep to be able to wake up on time.

Shaking his head, he turned back around and headed toward the warrior's den, the setting sun peeking through the small holes in the den's barrier. He scanned over the array of nests until he found his own, the moss inside it beginning to grow old and slightly stale. After letting out a soft sigh, he settled down in the nest and tried making himself comfortable. 'I'm going to have to change the moss tomorrow'. The one thought stuck in his mind as he slowly let go of all tension the resided in his body. Closing his mismatched eyes, he rested his limbs and faded off to sleep.


Eyes darting open with surprise, the small warrior sat upright in his nest, rays of pure moonlight pouring into the nest through it's entrance. Was he late!? Becoming immediately unaware of the cats that lay around him, he darted from his nest and into the empty camp, the humid Greenleaf air causing his thick fur to seemingly puff up. The moon wasn't yet too high in the sky, signalling that he wouldn't be late to the nightly meeting. Letting out a sigh of relief, he padded toward the Dirtplace and squeezed through the hidden exit.

Crouching low, he sneaked around the outside of the camp, keeping as low to the ground as possible. If he were to just streak across the moor, the nightly guard would surely notice him, and possibly give chase. This sneaking around often meant that more time was needed to get to Fourtrees, but what could he say? It was worth it. After he was a safe distance away, he broke into a sprint, nothing more than a shadow on the horizon.


As the night went on, the moon grew higher into the sky, and the closer the Windclanner grew to Fourtrees. He was making excellent time, the moon wasn't yet at his peak and he was already entering the thinner woods that surrounded Windclan's border near the sacred meeting place. His heart sped up when he spotted the barrier of undergrowth that acted as a border for Fourtrees, excited to meet the Thunderclanner he sacrificed sleep to interact with.

Bursting through the bushes, he gazed across the shady clearing, struggling to see through the darkness.


His soft mew echoed against the foliage, just loud enough to be heard from the opposite edge of Fourtrees. Hardly able to contain his excitement, he sat down, tucking his paws beneath him. He kept his eyes set on the bushes on the opposite side of the clearing, waiting for the familiar rustle of underbrush and the soon arrival of his dear friend.

Day and night had long since lost meaning to Wildflower. Light or dark made no difference. But, she knew it did to others. Darkness was easier to slip away in. Dark forms slipping across the moor were thought shadows from far away. Maybe it was what Smallbean thought, but he wouldn't be able to keep her away. Waking up later than usual had kept Wildflower awake later than usual as well. It was midnight, or close to, when her father awoke. Their nests were next to eachother. Wildflower didn't think much of it - a nightmare, maybe; Smallbean had said he hadn't been sleeping well. She drifted closer to murmur a few words of comfort when he jerked out of his nest, paying her slow form no mind. Fur prickling, a suspicion arose in the scarred molly. What could he possibly doing in the dead of night? Dirtplace? A sharp scent had drifted off of him, something surprisingly like... fear, almost.

Wildflower rose silently from her nest. It was easy to not alert others, as she tended to sleep closer to the camp's edge, away from most others. She shadowed her father, pawsteps light. He slipped through the dirtplace. Uncertainty rose in her mind, but she kept with it. If Smallbean was just going to the dirtplace, surely he still wouldn't mind company. He was small enough that owls could take him for easy pickings...

Her doubts shattered as his scent led away. Wildflower frowned and tentatively followed it. She heard Smallbean squeeze through bushes of gorse and deduced the answer: he was going out of the dirtplace, and not towards camp. Sneaking out. It was a daring, bold move; something that was far from his character. The burning question why hung in her mind. He began to sprint after a few moments, towards Fourtrees. Wildflower kept up easily with longer legs. She had gone to Fourtrees once during the night, sure, but not with this urgency. Things slowly began to add up. The fear with which he had left camp, the urgency he took to get to Fourtrees, the almost hopeful scent he was starting to radiate. Her mind came to a conclusion, one that she desperately hoped wasn't true.

He had been sneaking out of camp, making sure no one noticed. He had been coming to Fourtrees and calling out a name, a name that sounded like it belonged to ThunderClan or SkyClan - a treelike name. If Cedarheart was a friend, Smallbean would have no need for secrecy. It was like friends in other Clans were forbidden.


The moment the thought hit her, she knew it was true. She forced herself to inhale as usual while her heart pounded beneath her chest. Ivory claws dug into the water-deprived ground as she tried and failed to remain calm. She wanted to barge out and yell at Smallbean, but stopped herself. She would watch, for now. Listen. Try to wrap her head around the fact that her father was breaking the code. Wildflower didn't know what love like that was. Smallbean was her father, and she loved him... at least, she did a few minutes ago... but love for a mate was probably different. He should have known better. Couldn't make friendships of any type in his own Clan but suddenly fell for a cat in a different one. It was so out of character for him. The she-cat sighed. She wouldn't reveal herself or tell anyone, at least until she saw what would happen at the meeting.

Cedarheart knew she had to be very careful sneaking out. She didn’t want to wake Beecloud or her mother getting up. Or even any of the warriors, really. That’s why she got up slowly each time, legs rising carefully. She had practice making her walk silent, as she had learned how to as an apprentice, stalking prey in the forest. It was like that not. Carefully walking, not to disturb any of the creatures of the forest.

Her and Smallbean had many meetings. Things had changed, at least for the brown molly. Before, they had barely been acquaintances. Then they had become close friends. But more recently? Well, it was something else entirely. They knew more about each other than some of their own clan did. But at gatherings they had to pretend they didn’t really know each other, for the sake of their privacy. That didn’t mean the she-cat never snuck glances at him, she just did it discreetly.

The moon lit her back as she padded toward Fourtrees. She had been there more times in the moonlight than she had during the day. It looked more natural empty, with the white glow of the moon and stars shining down on it. As she broke through the bushes, she ran up to Smallbean, nuzzling him. ”Smallbean! How are you?” she grinned, sitting down next to him, a bit sleepily no doubt, but so happy to see him.

Smallbean let out a sigh of relief when he heard the she-cat's voice call out. His ears grew hot with embarrassment when she nuzzled him, but he quickly gave in and embraced it. "Cedarheart! I'm well, i'm glad to hear you're doing okay." A small smile spread across his face when Cedarheart sat next to him. She really didn't know how much she helped him. It might just seem like they were friends, but to Smallbean it meant to much more. She came to him when he was in a dark place, when he felt like he had lost all hope, and pulled him out. She was the life rope that was thrown into the hole that he had dug himself into, and now he was almost free. Just sitting there next to her made him feel nice and warm inside.

"So, how is Thunderclan doing? Anything new going on, anything exciting?" The tom tried his best to keep up the conversation, but interactions were never his strength. Either way, he hoped the Thunderclan was doing well, for Cedarheart's sake. He couldn't imagine how difficult it would be to meet like this is Cedarheart had been born in Skyclan- they were in quite the tough position right now. "What about you? How has your say been?"

Cedarheart’s eyes shone with a different light when she was with him. Her green eyes looked like emeralds, and she was wide awake, even though her sleep had been deprived lately. Smallbean was one of the cats that made her feel truly alive, truly happy. She wished a million times a day that he could’ve been in her clan, so they wouldn’t have to do...this. ”That’s great! How’s Wildflower?”

The warrior knew how much Smallbean’s daughter meant to him, and even though they had never met, she cared for the younger she-cat. In the back of her memory, she recalled fighting Larkflight, Larkpaw at the time. That was her friend’s former mate. But still, they had been apprentices then. Much had changed.

”It’s been alright. Not much has happened. My apprentice, Quailpaw, is doing well with his training. And, um, well, Oakstar is getting older, as you could probably tell from the gathering. He’s still going strong though. But I’ve been good! A bit more tired maybe, but being here, with you, makes me so happy. It’s worth it.” She smiled.

She paused. And that’s when she realized something important. Smallbean wasn’t a friend to her, not anymore. He was a best friend, of course, but something more. He was a love. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She wanted to be with him forever. [color=#ffcc00]”Smallbean, I-“[/colof] she gulped. Too late to turn back now. ”I love you.” She quickly looked down, face growing redder by the minute. She almost wanted to leave now, to not hear what he had to say in case he didn’t return the feelings.

(OOC: i'm going to be sobbing when Smallbean breaks it to her, i feel bad TuT. I have an idea about the last meeting they have, i'll pm you about it.)))


"Wildflower's been doing... okay. She's been worrying about me, and i feel really bad about lying to her. But i feel like... i feel like if i tell her about talking to you every night, she'll think less of me, and I've already let her down enough... I can't bear to deal with it again, and i really shouldn't be making her deal with it either." The Windclanner let out a sigh. Wildflower meant so much to him, more than he could describe. It really hurt him to have to sneak around her like this. Cedarheart helped him though. He felt like he could really be himself around her, while back in Windclan he felt almost like an outcast- at least since Larkflight died. The only cats he talked to were Wildflower and maybe a few of the other warriors, but he felt like he wasn't able to talk to them much. Almost as if he were trapped in a shell. But with Cedarheart... it was different.

He looked over at the tabby she-cat as she responded to his questions. "I'm happy you're doing well, and i hope Quailpaw is doing well too." He smiled, eyes glowing against the dark background of fourtrees. "I'm glad i'm here with you as well, you really don't know how much it means to me that you take time out of your day to see me like this." He couldn't imagine any other cat doing this for him.

Suddenly, he felt the atmosphere begin to grow thicker with emotion. Cedarheart seemed... almost distressed, as if she was worried or nervous. Maybe it was because of how often he himself felt that, but he could always tell when a cat felt anxious. "Hey, are you alright? What's wrong?" His mew was almost a whisper. He pressed himself closer to Cedarheart in an attempt to calm her down, but it didn't seem to be helping.




The tom immediately felt his blood run cold. The words were like daggers. What was he supposed to say? He began to panic, desperately trying to figure out what he should say. He didn't like Cedarheart like that- he really only thought of her as a dear friend. But if he were to say no, that would be the end of their friendship, and he wouldn't be able to deal with that. Still, he couldn't say yes, it would feel like he was betraying Larkflight! It was wrong to show a cat false love, right? But he cared about Cedarheart too much to hurt her like that. Not to mention that cross-clan relationships were, well forbidden. What would the cats back at camp think if he had a mate in Thunderclan? What would Wildflower think? What about Raventail and Olivestar!? He felt a very familiar feeling of nausea sweep into his stomach, likely caused my his panic.

"I.... i.... i," He began to stutter, feeling his ears grow hot. "I love you too, Cedarheart" The words felt like poison coming from his mouth, but what could he do? He really didn't want Cedarheart to feel bad, yet he still felt awful about this. This was his own fault. He must have come across as too friendly- but he couldn't help it, right? He, too, looked down at his paws, beginning to feel shame over the words he had spoken. He could just feel Larkflight's hurt and disappointment from Starclan. He felt like he was betraying her. But it was all for a good cause, right? He wanted Cedarheart to be happy, and if this is what making her happy meant, then he would have to do it.