Not alone [closed// Plot phase two]

((OOC: Phase one in the Denial plot. Oh my sweet golly macaroni my muse

Phase description:

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It would be a much better decision to stop taking so many walks, but here he was, in the middle of the night, making his way through Windclan territory. It'd been a few days since Wildflower and Crowspirit had confronted him so he'd been more careful about sneaking out. Of course he was still distancing himself, but he was just doing a bit more of it in camp, hanging around places nobody else was.

Crowspirit and Wildflower had dropped the matter, so it must've been working.

Letting out a sigh, the tom focused forward, keeping his eyes on the group of trees in the distance. His goal was to make it to fourtrees before moonhigh, he would probably end up sleeping there overnight. He was planning on just staying there, he really didn't have a set purpose. It was a beautiful night, after all, why not enjoy it?




The moon was rising higher as he neared Fourtrees. His legs were already beginning to ache, though he made this journey every moon already, and probably walked much further while just patrolling and hunting during the day. Maybe his lack of sleep and the amount of work he had been doing was finally getting to him. Shrugging it off, he made the final stretch before bursting through the bushes to the clearing.

What he saw was beautiful. Pale moonlight shone through the leaves of the trees, filling the area with an almost fog-like illusion and making the highrock appear silver. Fireflies flew throughout every inch of the clearing, making small glowing lights as far as the eye can see. The yellow lights of the fireflies perfectly complemented the colors of wildflowers that grew in the crevices and underbrush in and around fourtrees. It looked almost like a dream.

He immediately padded up to the highrock and sat on top of it, taking in the view. This was... exactly what he needed. But a heart-shattering thought found it's way into his mind.




He choked out the words. Why was he always like this? Most cats he knew would be over their deceased mate by now. She was all he could ever think about. Why was he so stuck on Larkflight? Why couldn't he just forget?


That couldn't be. The only thing he wanted was to be over her. there was no point to him mourning. Yet, he now finds himself sobbing on the highrock in the middle of fourtrees, when he went out to clear his mind. To get away from these feelings. But no matter how far he ran, he could never get away. They kept on closing in on him, and he couldn't fend them away.

So there he sat, as he was unknowingly being watched from somewhere around him. Even if he did know, he wouldn't care. He had no reason to.

Cedarheart had needed a break. With the whole Rainpaw thing, with everything going on within her clan, she just needed to be away, to let her mind rest for a few moments. Quailpaw was surely asleep by now, and there was no sense taking him out training at this time. She had slipped away from her clan, simply to take a little walk. She hadn’t really had an end destination in mind, just going wherever her legs led her. Surprisingly, the direction she was going was leading her straight towards Fourtrees.

The warrior spotted a familiar flash of fur, and a Windclan scent hit her nose. Smallbean? she wondered. But after a moment she shuffled around, and confirmed that it was the brown and white warrior she had talked to a few moons ago, at a gathering. About to burst out of the hiding spot she was in, she heard him mumble a sentence. Larkflight? She must’ve been dead, maybe a family member or friend. So he had lost someone too. Waiting a moment to eT that sink in, she emerged.


Standing behind the highrock, she quietly padded up beside him. ”Smallbean?” she mewed, letting him know she was there. Looking back up at the moon, she smiled, then blinked. ”It’s beautiful, isn’t it.”

Despite how aware he was of another presence in the clearing, Smallbean couldn't help but jump at the sound of a cat's voice. Though he would much rather be alone, maybe company would be nice, depending on who the cat was. They did seem to know him, after all.

Carefully turning around, he looked for the cat who had addressed him. His eyes landed on a familiar pelt. "C-Cedarheart?" He took another moment to confirm it was her. He must admit, they weren't the closest of friends, it's probably better that way, he would probably be looked down upon over the fact that his only friend was in another clan. Even so, Cedarheart was fun to talk to.

Quickly rubbing his tears away with his paw, he started down the rock. "I uh- d-didn't expect anyone else to b-be here." His voice rang through the till air as he touched back down to the ground. His mis-matched eyes met with Cedarheart's for a moment before he looked away. "So- What are you d-doing out here this late?"

Cedarheart winced slightly at the small jolt of her companion at hearing her voice. She had expected to happen, but she didn’t like scaring him, and she started to think back on her choice to approach him. He was having a sentimental moment, she could tell, and maybe she had ruined it for him. But when he managed to stumble out her name, she smiled and nodded. ”Yeah!” she confirmed. Smallbean had been one of the most fun cats she had talked to at a gathering, ever. Even though he was more nervous than some, he was sweet and still fun. They hadn’t spoke since that gathering, but they surely could now. What was the harm?

She pretended not to notice him rubbing away his tears. That wouldn’t be very kind to bring up, and anyways, it would make the entire air of the conversation awkward. ”Sorry for sneaking up on you there. It’s just, there’s been so much drama with my clan, and I’ve been training my apprentice, and it’s just been a lot. I remembered talking with you and talking about taking walks, and I decided to try it out for myself. It is nice.” as her eyes met for his for a brief moment, she felt a jolt of energy, a tingle, of sorts, shoot through her body. But as he broke the gaze, it disappeared. She turned her head, looking back at the moon.

After a moment of silence, the both of them sitting quietly, she looked back at him. ”So, how have you been?” Immediately, she felt like a mouse-brain for asking that. Here he was, crying alone privately, and you ask him how he has been? Obviously not that good! her inner voice scolded. ”Sorry, that didn’t come out...right.” she apologized, her voice dropping a bit lower.

"Oh no, you're okay, I probably shouldn't even b-be here. I'd have b-been b-better off just staying in my nest. I'm sorry ab-bout anything you're having to d-deal with in your clan." Smallbean's words softened as he continued. "I'm glad it helps, by the way. Walking usually helps me." ' or at least i try to convince myself of that.'

For a brief moment he saw Cedarheart's gaze drift toward the moon, and his soon followed. He could tell that she started looking back at him, but he kept his eyes on the moon. How had he never realized how beautiful it was? When Cedarheart continued the conversation he started to wonder how long she had been watching him before revealing herself. Did she see him crying? Trying to shake the feelings of embarrassment away, he answered her. "I've b-been- fine, i guess." He let out a sigh. Did he really need to wear a mask around Cedarheart? She was trustworthy enough, though she was in another clan, and she was very easy to let feelings out to. He made his decision.

"Oh, who am i kidding, it's obvious i'm not okay! I've b-been feeling awful for moons now, and i can't seem to shake the grief no matter how hard i t-try. I t-try running from it so much, but it's always right b-behind me. It's as if i were running t-to the light at the end of a t-tunnel, b-but the more i run t-to it, the farther away i -become." He could feel the tears already begin to well up, but he wasn't going to cry. He started sniffling, and eventually confided into Cedarheart, pressing his head into her chest fur. They hadn't even been friends that long, but it felt strangely right. He didn't feel this comfortable around almost anyone else. It was.... comforting.

Cedarheart smiled sympathetically. ”I’m sure it’s ok, you sneaking off. It’s not like anyone is using Fourtrees right now. Although, it might not be the safest. You could get attacked or something.” she warned. It wasn’t that she wanted to scare him, but she just wanted to make sure he was safe. ”And thanks. I’m sure it’s not as bad as...whatever you are going through.”

She understood his next answer, that he was fine. It wasn’t very true, she could tell, but she had said similar things before. When her siblings died. When Smudgepaw died. When Stormpaw had left. She glanced back at him, studying him for a moment. He reminded her a bit of her old best friend, Smudgepaw. They were both more quiet, and a little nervous, but kind and fun to talk too. Maybe that was why she enjoyed his company so much. The warrior listened to his sigh. She felt awful, not able to help him through what he was going through.

She listened as he started to vent out his feeling, and she just nodded. His emotion made her tear up a bit herself. ”I’ve never lost a mate before, but I can guess what you feel like. When I saw a kit, 4 of my siblings died before becoming apprentices. My best friend died, and it is hard. I know a mate is different than that, and I know it must be hard for you right now. But I believe in you. You can get through this.” Cedarheart was a bit taken aback as he pressed his head into the tuft of fur on her chest, but she relaxed quickly. It felt good, and she didn’t mind. He just needed support.

(OOC: i'm gonn go ahead and wrap this up to get the plot moving quick enough for part 5 to be at the August gathering, remember to ask Smallbean to meet back again!)


Smallbean buried his nose deeper into Cedarheart's fur, her words of encouragement making him feel better. After a few moments, he had realized what he had just done. Pushing himself away from Cedarheart, he looked away, his ears growing hot with embarrassment. "S-sorry... about that." What was he thinking!? Why was he so stupid! Something like that was not be okay between friends!

Letting out a sigh, he looked up at the moon, realizing it was already a good while past moonhigh. His eyes widened, realizing that it wouldn't be too much longer until dawn, and that he could get caught coming back to camp if he didn't leave soon. He knew a select few warriors that enjoyed waking up before the sun even shone in the sky, which worried him even more. Standing up, he started to leave, but quickly remembered Cedarheart. "Oh- I have to leave before the early risers of my clan wake. If i don't get home soon i'll be caught, and i would much rather avoid the confrontation." His eyes shone with worry, matching the tone of his voice. Turning away, he looked over his shoulder again at Cedarheart.

Cedarheart had strangely felt fine with her friend burying his head into her fur. As he stiffened you and looked away, embarrassed, she felt herself grow a little red and she looked down. ”No, it’s..f-fine.” She didn’t normally stutter, but the feelings going around, the embarrassment and awkwardness was making it hard for her to process her own thoughts and feelings, not to mention expressing them.


Cedarheart felt him standing up and looked up. She too, saw the moon and it’s height. She stood as he started to speak, explaining. ”Alright, that makes sense. I should probably head home too. Goodbye.” she started to walk off, but an impulse suddenly struck her and she turned back to face him. ”This was, uh, kinda nice. Do you wanna meet here again, in, I dunno, two sunrises?” She looked at him. Good Starclan, it would be so awkward if he said no. She just enjoyed talking with him, and he obviously needed to let out some feelings as well.

Smallbean was surprised to hear the Cedarheart wanted him to meet her there again, especially after he had embarrassed himself. A small smile forming on his face, he gave a curt nod. "Of course." Padding toward the very edge of the clearing, he stood and watched Cedarheart disappear into the underbrush, going back to Thunderclan territory.


The word was barely a murmur, it was obvious that Cedarheart wasn't going to hear it, yet he said it anyways. Why? There wasn't really an answer to that. Turning to face his territory, he pushed through the leaves and streaked across the moor, determined to get home before the sky started turning orange.