stormy optimism Δ closed

The tom had told himself before that sitting around silently in camp with a frown would be useless. However, Newtface now found himself sitting outside of the warriors’ den with a rather downcast expression. It was too difficult to act like his former self, his mischievous, arrogant, casual self. He had felt loose before, but it was a good kind of loose. Now, he just felt stiff and tight. Why was it that missing somebody brought immense pain? Why couldn’t it bring a smile to a cat’s face after looking back on the memories of the dead? Why was moving on so difficult? The tortoiseshell wrapped his tail around his paws and purposely made sure that he was squeezing himself tightly. There were currently no patrols leaving, and Newtface didn’t feel like rising to his paws, heading over to the camp exit, and gathering his own patrol to head out. He wasn’t going to initiate anything anymore, he was simply going to follow along. Bowing his head slightly, the young warrior shut his eyes and focused solely on the sound of the breeze blowing gingerly through camp.

Tansyheart padded slowly out of the warriors' den, half expecting to see Gingerstripe waiting for her, ready to go on a patrol. She silently reminded herself that he wasn't there, and that he never would be. She still didn't know how to feel about the whole incident, but for the time being she was doing her best to ignore reality and go on with life as usual. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she stopped short and turned around. Newtface was sitting outside the den, where she had just exited without even noticing him. "Hi, Newtface," she greeted him. She knew he had recently lost Rosepaw, his mate, and he was obviously still mourning her, so instead of passing him by like she usually would, she sat down beside him. As soon as she did this, she realized that she didn't know what to say. "Um... how are you? It's... it's a nice day, isn't it?" she asked, grasping for something to start a conversation.

Newtface flinched as he heard Tansyheart's voice. He hadn't been expecting anyone to come over and speak to him, but now he supposed he'd have to do or say something. He still wasn't willing to engage in any friendly conversation, though. The tortoiseshell tom met the she-cat's eyes, but he had a slight frown on his muzzle. The ShadowClan warrior didn't bother to nod, or bow his head. He felt as if he didn't have the strength to do so. Newtface was aware that Tansyheart was practically grieving, too. Her father, Gingerheart, had been exiled. However, the she-cat seemed to be getting through the loss of her father in a more efficient way. That made the speckled tom feel even more unsure and insecure about his own way of grieving.

"Um... how are you? It's... it's a nice day, isn't it?"
The tom instantly felt angry and insulted. It was clear, by his body language and facial expressions, how he was doing. Yet, this she-cat still felt as if she had to ask how he was. It was like she was trying to shame him in some sort of way. Maybe the day would've been the slightest bit nicer without that question.
"How are you?" The tom repeated, in an incredulous tone, "How do you think I am? What do you think I look like? Are you blind?"

"Oh!" Tansyheart exclaimed, caught off guard by Newtface's frustration. Should she try to comfort him, or be offended, or just ignore what he had said? Great StarClan, she needed to spend some time figuring out her own emotions. But not now - she couldn't just sit here and say nothing. "Have you ever tasted water vole? I haven't... although I've been told they're bitter," she blurted, opting to ignore his comment. Mouse dung! What was this nonsense coming out of her mouth? This was not a good idea. She was going to have to change her approach if she was going to even try to cheer this cat up. "Um... you looked a bit lonely. I just want you to know, I'm sorry about Rosepaw," she began. "We're all here for you... the Clan, I mean," she continued, not exactly smoothly. What else could she say? She racked her brain for ideas as she waited for his response.

Newtface continued to glare at Tansyheart as she continued to speak. It was as if he had never said that comment at all. She had just... shrugged it off. The tom's negative frown was instantly replaced with a bland, bored expression. He had never tasted a water vole before, and he quite frankly never wanted to try one. He was perfectly fine with the frogs, rodents, and occasional lizards that ShadowClan cats so frequently hunted. However, the tom couldn't help but roll his eyes at how random the she-cat's change of subject was. What was her problem? Was the loss of her father messing with her head in some sort of insane way?

Then, Tansyheart offered him her condolences, just like most of the other cats in the Clan. It was becoming redundant to the tom, now. The speckled tom hated turning around and being face to face with a cat who could only say 'I'm sorry for your loss, Newtface'.
In fact, the tom would much rather prefer if nobody said a word to him at all instead of the stupid 'Rosepaw is watching over in your in StarClan, Newtface'.
"Oh, yes, I'm very much aware," Newtface growled, "Hearing everyone in the Clan say the same words to me over and over isn't going to make me feel any better, thank you very much."

"I'm sorry," Tansyheart repeated helplessly. "I guess I just thought..." she sighed in agitation. Newtface was so hard to talk to! "Just lighten up a bit, okay? I don't like to see any cat upset, especially not you, after everything," she said. Just for a moment, though, she let her annoyance get to her, so she muttered "And Rosepaw is watching over you from StarClan, you mouse-brain."


ooc: sorry, this is late and crappy, i lost my post twice and school and sports have been crazy lately ;;

Newtface glanced away and stared down at his paws as Tansyheart began to trip helplessly over her words. The speckled tom unsheathed his hooked claws and sank them into the dirt beneath him.
"It's hard to not be upset when you lose someone," The warrior said, irritably, refusing to look at the she-cat beside him, "And I have ears! I'm not a mouse-brain! I want Rosepaw to be watching over me from right here. I want her to be beside me. I don't want her to be watching over me from StarClan."
Would Tansyheart even understand? Sure, the she-cat warrior had had to witness her father being exiled, but at least he was still alive.
Rosepaw wasn't.

"I understand," she said softly. "I just want to help you." She continued watch him carefully, even though he wouldn't meet her gaze. "I guess I'll leave you in peace now." Tansyheart stood. "You can, um... you can always talk to me, if you need to," she finished awkwardly. As she walked away from the stubborn tom, she resolved to keep trying to talk to him, even if he stayed despondent. An attitude like his could lead to serious trouble, and she wanted to do everything in her power to keep him safe. He was her Clanmate, after all.