Life Changing Discussion... [Sunno]

Everyone had already gone out, doing their daily routines and moving on with their lives. Thrushstar, on the other hand, was sitting in the middle of camp, simply taking in the environment around him. The cold air nipped at his skin underneath his short fur, but after so long of dealing with Leafbare, it barely phased him. All the while, Silverpelt gleamed brightly above him, showering him with a dim blue light that lit his surroundings just enough for everything to be clear. It was a beautiful cloudless night but for some reason, he couldn't help but feel solemn and downright exhausted. His mind buzzed with too many thoughts all at once, most of his focus being on the future. He knew that he was getting older-- at this point maybe too old-- and with his aching joints, lack of energy, and stress almost constantly eating him alive, he wondered if he was even fit for leader anymore. He had lived long enough to see most of his clan be replaced several times over, and the longer time went on, the younger they got. However, he continued to age and grow weaker and Shadowclan couldn't have that could they? It wasn't until he heard someone shuffling near him did he snap out of it to see who it was approaching him.

Leopardfang sighed involuntarily. He was usually out in the territory, doing anything he could to avoid being around camp and possibly seeing her. Besides, he was always heavily involved in all of the patrols that were sent out to protect the borders and collect prey, so just sitting around camp was an unusual activity for him. He was bone-tired, though. The tom had worked himself into the ground and hadn't rested peacefully in at least a moon. He cast his green eyes up to the night sky. Silverpelt was always beautiful no matter how often he looked at it. The other clans didn't know what they were missing. Bringing his gaze back down to his surroundings, the deputy saw Thrushstar sitting out in the middle f camp, also looking at the stars now and again. Leopardfang considered approaching, but paused when he started to think about what Thrushstar must have been like as a young leader, or even a warrior. He wasn't even sure he'd ever heard Thrushstar's warrior name. Curiosity and a sense of strong affection for the older tom finally drew Leopardfang towards him.

"Hello, Thrushstar. I hope I haven't startled you. I just wanted to to see if you'd like a bit of company this night." He meowed, his deep tone as respectful and courteous as usual.

Finally finding Leopardfang padding towards him, Thrushstar simply flicked his ear, his tail bouncing restlessly behind him although the rest of his body was calm and almost happy to see his deputy. "Greetings, Leopardfang," the leader said. "If you'd care to join me, I'd love the... company." It was strange. Since he woke up and recovered, he hadn't spoken to his deputy much, but it also felt like they had just spoken yesterday. "How have things been? With you, I mean." He would be lying if he said he weren't curious, especially with the thoughts running through his head about retirement. While his heart wasn't set on it, he wanted to do what was best from the clan.

He nodded almost eagerly, taking a seat next to Thrushstar. The pair of them had both been exceptionally busy the past few moons. Conversing with his leader these days was comfortable, something that he was grateful for. "Ah, I've been... well. Not as busy as it used to be, but still a lot of work to do. Patrols and whatnot." He meowed, skirting gracefully around his real problems. "ShadowClan has been growing wonderfully. Soon the green seasons will bring prey and we'll be doing even better. I couldn't be more proud of our progress since... a while ago. I trust you've been doing good as well?" Leopardfang asked, although he had noticed Thrushstar's lethargy.

It was pleasant to hear that Shadowclan was doing well. He could see it in the clan but it was even nicer to hear about it from his deputy. For a minute, the leader didn't even bother answering Leopardfang's question as he contemplated the thought of Shadowclan finally doing very well in the forest, but it was over all too soon as his mind became clouded with the nagging thoughts that kept coming back up. Within moments, the leader went from almost living in bliss to solemn as he tried to figure out a way to say what was on his mind. A heavy sigh escaped him, his head hung low before he turned back to his deputy. "Let's face it, Leopardfang... I'm old. I mean, I've been old but now it's starting to actually affect me. I can't move around like I... used to, I can't continue my duties as I once could. Even getting onto the Greatrock at gatherings has become a whole... lot more difficult than it was. I feel like I'm deteriorating fast, but I can't just give up. I'm come so far with this clan, and I've been through a lot..." He paused, his eyes locked on the soft ground beneath them. "Do you still think that I am fit for leader?"

Leopardfang didn't mind the momentary silence; it was comfortable just to be near someone he trusted without having to stress over his duties. There was a sudden change in mood, however, and when he sensed the strange change in Thrushstar's demeanor, the deputy turned his gaze to the aged leader and cast a concerned look. Now the spotted tom was feeling anxious rather than relaxed, but he didn't press Thrushstar to speak before he was ready. It reminded him of his kithood while he was waiting to be lectured by his father.

The question came as a great shock to Leopardfang. It was so soft that he almost couldn't hear it. Different plausible answers flitted through his mind, though he wasn't sure what to say. "Well... He started awkwardly before trailing off. On the one hand, his desire to finally take full control of ShadowClan and his sense of having been born to lead had both become almost suffocating in the past few seasons, such that he almost immediately barked "no" in response. On the other hand, he held a deep sense of respect for Thrushstar and all of the sacrifices he had made for the clan, and Leopardfang didn't want to undermine his friend's sense of self-worth. He knew the leader relied on him being truthful, but he also knew that it wouldn't be the same for the older tom to pass on his duties to retire. It was a conundrum he'd have to work through carefully.

"Well... Truthfully, I'd like the chance to try out leadership before I become old and gray myself." He finally started out with a guilty chuckle. "You've done great things for this clan, Thrushstar. You were a capable leader for as long as I can remember. I looked up to you for a long time, and, yeah, ShadowClan has hit a few... I suppose a lot of rough patches in your history as leader. But I admire the way you brought us back from the brink more than once. I hope that if I ever do become leader, StarClan willing," Leopardfang gave a mischievous grin at this remark, a rarity in the days of his maturity, "that's one area that I can follow in your pawsteps. And you obviously still have a bit of fight in you. I don't know a more tenacious soul. The point is, Thrushstar, is that you've already given this clan almost every ounce of strength in you, and it's time the clan paid you back for it all. I don't think we should worry about if you're still fit, I think you should consider whether you really want to lead anymore. There's nothing wrong with resting after seasons of service. It's a matter of luck, or at least extreme skill, to survive that long out here anyway. I almost envy you for all the moons you've collected... almost." He cocked his head and gave a questioning glance. "What do you think?"

The way that Leopardfang seemed to ramble was amusing. He made good points about the situation, but the Shadowclan leader couldn't help but give a half-hearted chuckle. "I believe you are right, Leopardfang," Thrushstar said. "I guess it does come down to what I want. It's funny, actually," He paused for a moment, trying to lighten the mood a little, but it only worked a little. "I still want to play a part in this clan but the love for... leading that I once had is basically gone. I'm tired. I can't do what... I used to, but the interesting part about it is that when I think of myself outside of leadership, it's not all that bad. All of this... stress I've put on myself about being unfit has just come from the job." He took a deep breath, trying to come to terms with his state of mind. "Maybe it is time for me to step down. Give you a chance to make Shadowclan the... clan it's supposed to be. I think that I've done all I can for them. They need new... well, at least newer eyes and a fresher mind." He paused again, finally turned to look deep into his deputy's eyes. "The question now is... are you ready to lead? Do you feel prepared to take on this responsibility? Considering I'm not dead, I don't want... to toss you into the job in a panic."

Leopardfang met Thrushstar's gaze unflinchingly. He was relieved to hear the the aged leader would finally get some rest and, more importantly, he was going to get the chance to see if he had what it took to be a leader like those of the legends. Of course, he wanted to sound humble in his response, but he decided that blatant honesty was the best path. "I have to be straight with you, Thrushstar. I've been ready for a while now, I just know it. You not being dead really doesn't bother me. In fact, if anything, it would be helpful. Most leaders don't get to have a mentor to look to when they earn their names. I'll already have the advantage over the others." He meowed, a purr rumbling in his chest. It felt good to admit to both himself and Thrushstar that he was getting restless waiting for the future.

Leopardfang's response didn't phase the leader. Instead, he chuckled, relief washing over him at the deputy's words. It was strange that he felt like he wasn't needed, but it felt... good. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. "Very well," he said amusingly. "The decision is made then. I think it's finally time for me to step down. I'm pretty sure that it'll kill me but I... want to make this conclusion while my mind is still clear. We will go very soon at sunset so we may get... there at moonhigh." He paused. "Thank you, Leopardfang. For all that you've done for me all these moons. I believe I leave Shadowclan in good paws."