What Could I Say Now (closed::solo)

Beetlepaw stared down at Jaypaw's body, frozen in shock and chilled with terror of losing her. After Willowwhisker and Smokepelt brought her in, he had refused to let anyone see her, not even Cinderkit and Greykit, her brothers. The dark tom settled her body in the nest, padding her torn tail with cobwebs as much as he could, trying hard to stop the bleeding, and giving her some herbs for the infection.

A dog attacked her... the was all that the two warriors could tell him, and Beetlepaw figured sadly that she had been alone at the time of the attack. He needed her to wake up, to tell him what happened and to comfort him... Even so, the medicine cat apprentice had a dreadful feeling he knew what his best friend had. Through the cobwebs and blood, he knew deep inside, the voice of Sparkpaw whispered him sorrowfully. She doesn't have a tail anymore...


No...


The medicine cat looked down at Jaypaw when she started shifting in her den. He hurried by her side, licking her cheek warmly to show her she was safe. "Wake up Jaypaw, come on. The dog is gone. You're safe now." he whispered in her ear.


~~


Jaypaw opened her eyes, her breath heavy and still stunned by the numb pain in her tail. The she-cat blinked in hazy confusion, but soon she felt th comforting presence of Beetlepaw and she managed to calm her breath. She lifted her head weakly, meeting the concerned yellow gaze of the medicine cat apprentice, with a gulp of sorrow.


"Am I home?" and as she felt she warm scent of herbs, she had her question answered. She looked around with her usual delicate curiosity, but Beetlepaw seemed stoned, staring with hesitation at Jaypaw. "W-what is it, Beetlepaw...? What did... what did the dog... do to me...?" she asked fearfully.


"It's... it's just that your tail..." the tom began, and she felt the sudden urge to flick her tail, to reasure herself. But the gesture sent a pang of pain in her whole body, racking her spine and making her gasp. She looked up at the medicine cat apprentice, her expression stern and severe. "Tell me what's wrong Beetlepaw."


~~


Her determination to know the truth hurt Beetlepaw deep in his heart, but he knew that this pain he felt was nothing of what Jaypaw would feel once he told her. With a heavy heart, he realized he had no choice but to tell her of her injury.


"Your tail is... is not." he said hoarsley, a knot in his throat. The she-cat squinted at him, as if she did notunderstand, but Beetlepaw recognized the wish that he was wrong. But he wasn't. After a few moments, Jaypaw nodded darkly.


Beetlepaw wanted o go to her, to comfort her, to curl by her and help her sleep but... he couldn't. He touched noses for a heart-beat with her before he snapped away, bussying herself with his herbs.


~~


Jaypaw stared at Beetlepaw for long after he had turned away and started working with his herbs and making ointments blindly. His process seemed mechanical, as if he was lost in thought. Not little times had he dropped something, mumurring to himself and started over.


Her own mind was heavy, with all that she had been told today. How can I be a warrior if I can't hunt or run without my tail... she kept on asking herself, until, after Beetlepaw gave her some poppy seeds to calm her pain, she fell asleep.