Official NFL Megathread

I'm ready...

inb4 "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT FOOTBALL AGHGAHHG"

Don't worry, young grasshopper. It's never too late to learn and jump on some bandwagon no doubt.

Football is a game where teams of muscular, sexy men slam into each other in an attempt to score. Or something like that.

It takes place on a 100 yard field, with endzones on either end. The game is split into offense and defense. Offense is trying to score by either scoring a touchdown (6 points) or a field goal (3 points). Defense is trying to stop the offense from scoring.

The two main ways the offense moves the ball is by running and passing. The offense is essentially given four "tries" (called downs) to move the ball ten yards forward. The first try is called 1st down, the second try is called 2nd down, etc. etc.

If the offense can advance ten yards, they are given a new set of downs. If the offense can't advance past that mark, the ball is overturned to the other team. That yellow line you see on the TV is 1st down.

On the other side, the defense tries to stop the offense by FACKING MURDERING THEM.
also by attempting to intercept or deflect the other team's passes

The sport's a lot more complex than just that, but that's the basics. If any of you watch the Super Bowl (which none of you will because you're sports-hating geeks), then you should pick up on everything else pretty quickly.

OH GREAT SLEEPY-SAMA, you sigh in between pants. THAT SOUNDS REAL INTERESTING. HOW DOES THIS WHOLE NFL THIGN WORK?

well nerd

The NFL is divided into two conferences (the AFC & NFC). Each conference is then divided into four divisions.


Every team plays a sixteen game schedule (playing their division rivals twice each). When the end of the sixteen game regular season is over, the postseason (AKA the playoffs) begin.

The playoffs consists of twelve teams total:
a). The best teams in each division (eight in all)
b). The four best teams that didn't win their division (known as Wild Cards)

There's a tournament to decide the best team in each conference, and then the AFC champion and NFC champion square off in the Super Bowl. At the Super Bowl Halftime show a couple years ago everyone saw Janet Jackson's boob on live TV. And that's why America watches the Super Bowl every year. That's the American Dream.

http://www.foxsports.com/buzzer/story/seattle-seahawks-michael-bennett-super-bowl-2015-012715

I love my team.

http://grantland.com/the-triangle/everybody-loves-marshawn-lynch/

King Falcon I wrote:

We have a winner.

seheks y ;_;

Shirt my step-dad made me for tomorrow.

i'mexcited
areyouexcited

Sleepy wrote:

i'mexcited
areyouexcited

Nope, not really. 8D

Jay wrote:

Sleepy wrote:

i'mexcited
areyouexcited

Nope, not really. 8D

The Patriots snagged victory away from you in XXXIX. LOVE ME. ;A;

TODAY'S THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Sleepy wrote:

TODAY'S THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Remember how that scene ends.

20 FLUFFING SECONDS TILL PATRIOTS WIN

VICTORYYYYYYYYYY

we're taking out a hit on seattle's offensive coordinator

I've tried writing this paragraph over and over again and nothing's working. In my mind I know I'm lucky that we even made it this far, but my heart still feels like it's full of lead. Nothing I put down into words really illustrates how I feel. So I'll try to put it as succinctly as I can.