One Night, Two Dark Spirits [Part 1]

Ravenpaw glanced up to the dark, lonely sky, the harsh cold winds making the night unbearable. She could feel how bitter the winds felt, a slight chill going down her spine as if they were reflecting something. It was out there, that night, that something was pushing her to stay awake and go outside, despite the cold. At the edge of her nest in WindClan's warm soft camp, respite was unable to reach her, no matter how weary she felt. Maybe there was something out there telling her something - a sign that only she could tell of at the time. Within a heartbeat, a long dark howl grew through the night, the breeze carrying one name - Ravenpaw. Her gaze rested back up towards the sky and sent a silent prayer. One that would assure that nobody would be harmed by what she was about to do. Nobody to notice where she had gone.

A piercing wave of wind roared, carrying the howl further right into her ears which softly made her hear the cry more clearly. The freezing breezes caused her to flinch slightly and the voice calling her didn't waver, not twice, not once, never did the tone change, but it was dark and ominous, with a touch of loneliness. "Ravenpaw... Come..." The voice sounded so proud, so strong, so hard to resist. Who was this, calling to her so late and on such a cold night? Perhaps, it was StarClan. Looking back at Shadeheart, she felt as if she was defying the code. As if she was doing something wrong. Though, what was it? How could it be that way, if all she does was leave camp for the night? Whatever it was, it made her want to stop and never go back to it; but she couldn't.

"Coming..." Ravenpaw replied softly, as she had the illusion that the wind was gesturing to her weakly to have her follow. Anger, sadness, and shame overwhelmed her as she walked further away from camp. The way she was doing this, whatever it was, it seemed so wrong. Like she was defying her Clan, her ancestors, the code, all of them. It doesn't matter who they were, she was doing something wrong. Either way, none of her feelings showed, all of it hiding deep in her core, for her to suffer alone.

A slight relief started to come over her as she continued to walk, heading towards the center of all clans - Fourtrees. Looking towards the withering leaves of the tree and its deathly gaze in the distance, muttering to her to go back, not to walk any further. She took it as a sign of challenge and ignored it - how wrong she was, her fate destined to be horrid because of this one mistake. It hadn't taken too long for her to figure out that this was an omen, in her eyes, but she couldn't do this. This one event was about to change her life in the worst way possible.

Hearing the howl once again, Ravenpaw couldn't bear but take a short rest. The distance was too long for her, the bitter winds biting at her fur and freezing her from within. It was too much for the medicine cat to take. Must... rest... Stopping by a gorse patch, she silently nodded to herself, sheltering herself in the tangles of stems and leaves, warming up from the night's breezes. This StarClan-forsaken chill may take her life, a life she would die of from hypothermia.

A soft silent drop dripped from the sky, a splash landing on a leaf. More followed and the quiet rain soothed her a bit as she listened to each drip that followed. The same voice followed, "Just a little longer - you can make it." Why was this voice motivating her? She should just give up this journey and die right there - no body would notice that she was gone for a long time. She was never anybody in her clan, just a lonely cat that was so cold and harsh to everyone, the one that everyone avoided - the lone wolf that was always invisible.

Why...?

Ravenpaw just couldn't tell if this was a weakness or strength, for her to venture out of camp alone that was making her want to give up her own life. Would it be truly possible for something like this to be both? The she-cat looked down at the small puddle formed in front of her paws, seeing her eyes reflecting in them. For once, they actually showed some emotion - a mix. Grief was in there, loneliness - and... Darkness. An evil seemed to appear at every cold stare. Each time the image was distorted by a rain drop or the strong wind, her eyes. Were they what they truly looked? The soft gentle green and amber gaze she had as a kit was now cold and harsh before another ripple appeared. Turning away from the puddle, she closed her eyes, one small tear dropping.

Why? Why had something like that formed, when she, of all cats, was supposed to be... evil? Was she really a cat that deserved to have such a kind family? As she looked back at the puddle, the water had gone still and her eyes were back to normal how they usually were. The piercing eyes that everyone was afraid of; the eyes that caused everyone to back away; the eyes that always hid her loneliness. She had once envisioned herself as a warrior, hunting with her family, having fun, and just messing around with them. Her siblings would one day become leader and deputy, and she would follow them happily, always carefree. She could've had a mate and may have never turned out how she was now.

Then, a crackling of a storm came with a deafening boom of thunder, rain falling down harder than its soft drizzle, storming down like a river rapid. All the water, the wind grew more bitter and more powerful and... more lonely. How was it, that the weather seemed to reflect what she was thinking and feeling? No cat could do that. Not even StarClan. Thinking of getting more shelter, she barely heard the soft voice call her once again, "Ravenpaw... Come..."

Heading down to Fourtrees, where she thought the source of the voice was, she closed her eyes, looking back up to the sky, only to see that nothing lit the skies. Was this how she was to end? All in loneliness? She needed to rest now, but how could she, when she couldn't do this right?

Ravenpaw stiffened as the weather grew harsher - her body numb. She felt as if she should just collapse right there. No, she couldn't. Why, though? Her eyes beginning to close and her body beginning to give way for her to fall. Yet, she was unable to touch the muddy ground. Something supported her, but something she didn't want to see. A fox, its eyes piercing cold.

This was who it was? But why... Why would they call her like this?

The fox, seemed like it was smiling... A crooked smile that seemed unnatural and creepy, showing his yellow-white teeth, that could of killed the she-cat in a matter of seconds. He knew he wasn't going to hurt her, because he couldn't bear the thought of it, because she's done nothing wrong... unless she denies him, snapping out of thought,he shook his head rapidly and then he croaked out: "Look at me. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm only simply going to offer you something...would you care to hear me out..? Or are you going to run away from me after you had the long, hard trip here... what a pitiful cat you are... but you're strong and smart.. I like you, and I think you could be useful..." He wanted to continue his rambling but he also wanted to hear what the she-cat was going to say... he flickered his ears, letting the she-cat know he was done talking.

Forcing her eyes to stay open, Ravenpaw listened to every word the fox said. What was on her mind wasn't how the fox was able to communicate with her, that was actually the least of her worries, but what he was offering to her. When he had flickered his ears, the medicine cat apprentice narrowed her eyes before muttering, "What...?" Right now, her main focus was whether this was a fox from StarClan or just a hallucination. The sudden booming of thunder seemed to reflect this one moment, becoming harsher as she continued to delay what she wanted to say. Personally, there wasn't anything she wanted with the fox, but he could probably tell that by now from how long her mind was taking to settle with the fact that she was talking with a fox who can offer her whatever she wanted.

Turning her gaze over, Ravenpaw its horrible and horrifying smile, teeth sharper than a badger's claws and more deadly than a deathberry, she was slightly curious as to why she wasn't off to StarClan yet. Though, he had so many good points... She had taken this journey to the place she felt she was being summoned. Yet, why did she have the chilling feeling that this might not be what she wanted? Taking a breath, the black she-cat spoke in a sentence as short as possible, "What do you want from me?..."

The fox looked down at her and blinked. "You should know what I want from you." He lowered his ears. ""I have a feeling that you are having your doubts about Starclan... I am your other ancestor... I can give you power... If you let me perform something none other has done before..." He still has the wicked smile upon his face, nothing new, and he looked up to the sky and watched the thunder, and then looked back down at her.

Other ancestor...? But, she only had two branches in her family... The rest was just a mystery. This fox, or possibly a cat's spirit, couldn't possibly be one of her ancestors. His appearance, his darkness, the way he felt evil overall. It couldn't be right. From the wicked smile to the choice of shape he chose to appear in front of her, but the voice... It was so tempting, so irresistible to ignore. Though, she still couldn't believe anything. Why was it that she was still thinking of taking his offer though? It couldn't work - nothing could content the loneliness and darkness in her heart. Yet, he seemed to understand. Behind all the cruelty, there was a sort of sadness and understanding covered in all of it. Behind all the darkness, there was honesty and concern. However, it wasn't what could be done.

Ravenpaw looked up, blank eyes hollow as if she couldn't believe him. That was all a lie though - she wanted to take up his offer - she wanted to do this. One small voice echoed in her, telling her a silent no. Something reminded her from back with Shadeheart:

"StarClan is the root of us - you can't abandon it. Being a medicine cat is special, but lonely. However, stay strong and you'll have faith to guide you in every way."

However, right now, Shadeheart's word meant nothing. In her opinion, her mentor only said that because she was jealous of how close Lavenderheart and Twistedfoot were. She had known that Shadeheart had loved her father, but it couldn't work. It never would've happened. The way the medicine cat, the half-burned medicine cat, just stared. Obviously, there was a sort of hatred to Lavenderheart.

Ravenpaw couldn't interpret love. It wasn't something a medicine cat was for. Sure, they were for advice, but love? No, it was something forbidden to them and distracted them from their duties. Yet, it was something she wanted. She's seen apprentices like Snowpaw and Bristlepaw - even her own sister Hawkpaw padding after Owlpaw! Was it something she desired? There weren't any toms out there for her. A forbidden love was impossible. Even so, she wanted to have it. To fill the emptiness in her - to have someone love her back.

There was no cat like that. Sometimes, for a heartbeat, she wished she was a warrior and felt the freedom they felt. She couldn't go back. Nothing would work. It's impossible. She had to live with it. It was a lonely role and empty one.

What could she do besides listen to him?

No, Ravenpaw told herself. Shaking her head, the apprentice wasn't going to take the offer unless she needed to. "I won't... Know... You... Anyway..." Well, what she meant to say was 'I won't. I don't know you anyway' but she always struggled for words. Was it because of that one emptiness?

Shaking her head, she wasn't about to leave any time soon though. She feared this cat. This one cat who could kill her right now. All she wanted was to get close to someone, but it couldn't work. All of this was fake. A desire in her wanted her to sprint now, but... To avoid leaving her family heart-broken, she needed to stay. Just a bit longer.

One day, she'll find that love... Perhaps in StarClan. She couldn't go now.