You could classify this as a rant, I suppose, but this is just the reason I've been crabby/upset lately.
For starters, you guys are the only friends I can tell everything to without feeling awkward or get criticized for. Yes, I have Death at school, but she doesn't believe the same things I do, and I haven't really talked with her since about the 4th grade; she's always been more of Dove's friend. As for Shelby, I'm pretty much not counting her as a friend anymore, because for one, she has this strange need to have a boyfriend constantly. She'll go out with anybody, I swear. And two, yesterday, she "forgot" to tell me she wasn't walking home, which is something we do together every single day.
Another: some people have a total disregard for other peoples' feelings. Right now, that isn't anybody on this site, it's only people at school. Nobody gets the heavy hints I drop, and I literally cringe in class when another person either upsets, insults, or in any other way interrupt their friend's thoughts or ideas. That might just be society, but it used to be practically mandatory to be kind to others, and warn them if you were about to say something rude.
Third, we're all equal. Absolutely nobody is better than anybody else, no matter what your rank, age, or attitude is. We all make mistakes, and we all have faults. Recognize them, and try to fix them as best you can.
This one might just be me, but I don't know. Ever since the school year started, I get pissed off whenever somebody overuses swear words. People at my school use them at least five times per sentence, I swear. I know we have a rule on this site that cussing is allowed, but sometimes it just bothers me really bad. Well, yeah, we have to censor all of them except for two, but I still think they're overused.
You guys are like my family. I would do anything for you. But it hurts me when some of us don't get along, or when we share our feelings and thoughts without even pausing to think how the other person might react. Jay, I love you, and I'm sorry if I upset you. I felt really bad last night after I got off; I seriously went to my room and cried for half an hour. And I'm sorry to everybody else I've upset, because that really isn't in my nature. In real life, if I thought something bad about another person, I would keep it in for myself and merely glare at the back of their heads to burn off my anger.
Being online gives us that edge like, "Oh, I don't know any of these people in real life, who cares what I say to them?" But really, we all still have feelings. And again, I'm sorry if I've upset you, if you think I hate you for some reason, but... that's life.
Again, I love all of you. You're my home away from home, my family away from family (mostly, besides Dew). I'm really sorry if I snap at you, explode at you, give you the cold shoulder, or anything else. I'm simply trying to control myself, and it's mostly my fault if I get upset with you. Thanks for reading, guys, I really needed to share /:
~Rainy
