Here is my top five most annoying video game characters/items. I am not a hardcore gamer, so I have not played some really major games (Like the Resident Evil series and The Legend of Zelda series, shoot me). But bare with me, for most of these will probably be from the Nintendo 64 and SNES.
5. Sports Car: Grand Theft Auto and Saints Row series
Here's a little thing that my family tends to do every time they get a
really nice car in GTA or Saints Row. They will try to prevent it from crashing and exploding at
all costs.
Okay, but this is kind of hard. Because usually they're trying to bring it somewhere. Especially in Saints Row, if a rival gang is trying to take over the whole damn city, you have to get there quick. But here are three things that will be trying to screw you over
big time.
Yeah, basically it becomes a game of speeding down the road, crashing, flying, then jumping out crying a river as you see your car explode into shrapnel, and then you go into a rampage like any normal gamer and start killing things.
4. Boo: Super Mario Bros. series
Ever since Super Mario 3, we were introduced to this monstrosity.
He stalks us everywhere we go. With the exception of Super Mario Sunshine and Luigi's Mansion, you can't kill the sneaky b*stard. You have to run.
It turns into a frightened running/peekaboo game.
Turn around and the little ghost will hide. It's kind of cute, actually, until you turn back to the direction you were facing. Then it turns into...
He goes on a soul seeking rampage. Trying to destroy you with everything he has. You can run, but you can't hide forever. He'll chase you into something or kill you.
When something's strange, in your neighbour- OH SH*T RUN!
3. Coconuts: Sonic The Hedgehog series
You're jogging at about Mach 5, blazing through the Emerald Hill Zone and beasting everything. That's when something flies out and you're sent spiraling backwards, wondering what the f*ck just happened and why all your money is flying through the air like fireworks. It's the work of this little b*stard.
He will own you... With coconuts. He will shove his coconuts right up in your face at a speed not thought possible, and make you lick them and put them in your mouth. You will become his b*tch, and you will learn to fear the coconut.
Yes, his name is Coconuts. If you make fun of him, he will beat your a** down and they will find your dead hedgehog body in the grass with coconuts jammed in your eye sockets.
2. Fake Item Box: Mario Kart series
You're probably in second, and that douche Toad is right in front of you, basically a big f*ck you when it comes to Mario Kart. You notice a slightly out of place item box, but you race towards it as a general instinct, when you realize what it is. Then you crash and feel enough frustration to break your TV.
You then fall off the track as everyone else drives buy, probably giving you the finger, and you can't do anything. You have to wait for that little cloud b*stard to pick you up and drop you a couple yards back, and you'll probably then be in seventh since Bowser can't race worth sh*t. If you're Bowser and you're hit, well, you were f*cked anyways from the start and that was a bad waste on a fake item box for fake item box layer. Probably Yoshi, because Yoshi is a cheating pr*ck.
Also, he's dating a blow job machine.
1. Slippy Toad: Star Fox series
There's a reason I didn't include people like Daxter from Jak and Daxter or the dog from Duck Hunt. They were tolerable. I've never played Legend of Zelda, but from what I hear, Navi is a nagging b*tch. But I have played Star Fox 64, and this is the most frustrating thing ever.
One, I'm not even sure of Slippy's gender. Apparently he's a guy, but I always thought he was a girl from his annoying a** high pitched voice/scream. Not only are you fighting for your life, you're also fighting for Slippy's because apparently the he/she/hermaphrodite can't fly. I'm wondering how the hell... It... Got on the elite squadron in the first place. I understand why they need him for his mechanical skills, but why can't she... He... Stay on Great Fox? Or why Katt can't help instead?
Honestly. He needs your help every other second. Then he acts like the f*cking Coronel from Metal Gear Solid every time you die. The great game of Star Fox turns into Slippy nearing death, Peppy telling you sh*t you already know and comparing you to your father, and Falco insulting your skills and challenging your authority while you're the only one actually doing your job and saving the universe from the stupid giant monkey you have to fight at the end.
Then your father apparently turns into a zombie and saves you from a giant burning space fort with much more skill then everyone else.
That concludes my list. Tell me what characters I missed, and thanks for reading.
