Our road is long, your hold is strong [c]

Bubblebeam had spent so long thinking about leaving SkyClan, she couldn't quite manage to grasp the fact that she'd done it. Every time she woke up in a different camp, every day she trained and learned the ways of a Clan that were not the one into which she'd been born, she felt a jolt of shock. It would take some time. The mire of emotions did not get any easier to sort through, either, even with the gradual setting-in of monotony and normality. Joy at finally breaking free, shame at the look her grandmother had given her, grief from losing her sister and so many others, guilt at what she'd forced Silverbird to lose, gratitude to be taken in, and of course... the warmth and happiness that sparked in her whenever she crossed paths with the two cats who had invited her to stay. Silverbird, of course, but also Hawkmist. Hawkmist stood no lesser in his ability to steal her breath and soothe whatever stress or sadness she'd been feeling previously. He hadn't left her. He hadn't gotten tired of her, just because she was part of his Clan now--or he hadn't yet, at least. He was still so easy to talk to, so nice to be around. She was so lucky to have him.

Her thoughts had simply been drifting as she went to get a piece of prey from the fresh-kill pile. However, it seemed that he'd been summoned by her pondering, because no sooner did she glance up from the mouse she'd picked than she saw moonlight glinting off of a familiar white pelt. Bubblebeam raised her head, pale green eyes meeting his even yellow gaze. "Hey," she responded, smiling. The way he looked at her, then looked away, made her heart pound for some reason. She just... liked him. She liked him so much--the stiltedness of his words, the deep sincerity of his voice, the twitching of his ears, the kindness hidden within him that he chose to give her so freely. He was so good. Why didn't everyone else realize it? She supposed she ought to be glad; it meant she had a better chance of getting him to herself.

"I've been settling in okay," Bubblebeam said lightly. Her fluffy gray tail waved behind her. "I mean, it takes some getting-used-to. It's a bit hard to be awake during the whole night, and there are some parts of the territory that I keep getting lost in. And..." her eyes strayed to the piece of prey at Hawkmist's feet. "I don't get how you guys eat frogs. They're just so... slimy. It's an acquired taste, I guess, but I definitely can't bring myself to try rat. What's your favorite kind of prey? I've never asked you, I just realized." With so many ShadowClan cats, she kept worrying, stumbling, trying to put her best foot forward so they would like her. But with Hawkmist, she could just be herself. It was so refreshing. She tilted her head, looking carefully at him. "More importantly, though... how are you doing? It must be weird for you, too, having an intruder suddenly welcome on your land. I hope I'm not snoring too loud, or anything. And... Leopardstar." Her voice grew somber; she frowned slightly. "I know I said it before, but I'm really sorry about the way things went. I probably could've done a better job explaining myself; I feel really bad that you guys got all the flack. You didn't deserve to be berated like that, neither of you. If there's any way I can make it up to you..." She trailed off.

Some other cats might have been disquieted by the growl in Hawkmist's voice growing stronger, but Bubblebeam could tell that the irritation was directed outward. His ears swiveling back, his eyes sharpening into a glare that looked past her. But... he was right to be upset. Even if he directed the attention away from him and back to the more dire consequence that Silverbird had received. "Yeah... yeah. I can't believe she did that. I felt so bad for him." Yet the anger faded, and in its place came warmth, with the way that the harsh edges of her friend's voice softened. Stars, how could he be so sharp and yet so sweet? The way he talked about himself, you would think that he didn't even know how wonderful his kindness was compared to his gruff exterior. Maybe he didn't know. She'd just have to show him, one of these days. But at the moment she was distracted by the word "Clanmate" being directed at her. Not just his friend across a border, now, but tied to him by the bonds of their shared home. Clanmate. In return, she couldn't help but smile. "I'm grateful, too. Every night I'm thankful to be here. It's so much better now. It will take some time to really internalize everything, but I do feel welcomed... especially with you." His response to her preemptive apology made her laugh. She had noticed that once his eyes slipped closed and his flanks rose and fell evenly, he appeared nearly dead to the world. "Well, that's good to know. If the sky ever does fall, I'll be sure to wake you."

Her head tilted to the side a little bit, taking in the way he always quieted down whenever the subject turned back to him. What a strange pair they were, insisting on each other's qualities and undermining their own. Together they were almost one confident warrior. Then Silverbird had enough confidence for the both of them combined. "You do help. You help a lot." Bubblebeam smiled at him. If she'd only had one cat, only Silverbird, it would have been enough--but she felt so lucky, so unbelievably blessed, to have two. And... if she were being honest with herself... even if the one was Hawkmist, he would have been enough on his own. It was so selfish of her to want them both so completely. Even if the wanting itself felt different for each. His answer about prey brought her back out of her own mind though. She blinked. "Lizards? You don't think they're too scaly? I find them a little tough to chew." Then again, she'd only had them a few times since moving, so maybe she was being a little bit unfair to criticize his preference. "I'll have to try them more often, though. Maybe they'll grow on me. It might just be because I'm not used to them." For some reason, she hadn't expected the question to be directed back at her. Thoughtful, she considered it for a moment before answering. "Well, it used to be squirrels when I was little. But after all the prey in the forest ran out, I had a bit of a weird relationship with food for a while. When I started feeling more normal again, I found that I didn't like them at much. So now I think birds are my favorite. They're light and easy to eat, and they come with feathers you can put in your nest." She hadn't really thought about it before, but she guessed that she didn't like squirrels as much because of the time she'd caught one and it had squeaked so loudly when she killed it--a shriek that sounded so similar to her own high-pitched cry of pain that she'd nearly fallen off of her branch. Thinking of that reminded her of Uncle Rain and Crookedlight comforting her, though, and that only reminded her of the fact that they were gone, so she tried to shove it all away. Someday, thinking wouldn't send her into a spiral of grief. For now, it was best to focus on the here and now, and leave contemplation for later. With Hawkmist here in front of her, looking at her, how could she think about anything else?

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