the world is scary i know (c)

Hedgepaw understood why she hadn't been made a warrior yet. She knew that she still had more to learn, and despite Quillsplash's gentleness with her, she knew that her battle skills especially were lacking. She'd been doing her best to come to terms with that. However, she had no clue why her brothers hadn't been awarded their names yet. Wolfpaw had surely honed his skills well enough by now, judging by the stories she heard from him and Silverhawk, and Fernpaw had grown to be one of the most intelligent cats she knew. What was holding them back? Did Leopardstar see a problem that she didn't? Deep in the back of her chest, she worried that maybe they were holding themselves back because of her. Maybe they thought she wanted them to do that. While she couldn't deny that she would miss them when they moved to the warrior's den, she didn't want them to stay in the apprentice's den just for her. The last thing she wanted was for them to be unhappy, and especially not for it to be her fault. And every time she thought about them being warriors, she thought about the time she and Silverhawk had encountered a fox. Warriors were allowed to go anywhere they wanted on their own. What if Wolf or Fern went out into the territory, and then something bad happened while they were alone? The story Silverhawk had told her about Honeylight hung heavy in her thoughts, too. Warriors could die sometimes. They weren't safe even if they had all the training. But she couldn't keep them in the apprentice's den with her forever, nor did she want to. So... what should she do about it?

These thoughts all swirled in her mind while she tried to sleep. The sun had risen already, and no matter how many times she rolled around, rest didn't find her. Maybe she should just give up. Curiously she peeked over the edge of her nest to see if anyone else was awake. Wolfpaw appeared to be deep in slumber, even twitching in the throes of some dream, but Fernpaw's eyes were open. Hopefully she hadn't woken him up by squirming too much. Or maybe he was just thinking about stuff, too. A small white paw reached out to prod his shoulder. "Fern. Psst." Hedgepaw tried to keep her voice down, but it sounded loud in her ears after the silence of morning. "Hey, Fern. You awake? What're you thinking about?"