Cricketpaw's Moonstone Journey

WindClan | Apprentice | he/him

Cricketpaw was grateful for the relatively easy journey. He made it up the rocks to Mothermouth with little trouble and soon followed Hemlockfox into the darkness of the cavern. He listened to the medicine cat's instructions carefully, nodding before catching himself and murmuring instead, "Got it." The further the pair went into the tunnel, the more Cricketpaw's nervous energy and excitement built up in his stomach as it twisted in knots. Finally a glow began to appear along the path until they entered the main cavern of the Moonstone. The brilliance of it took Cricketpaw's breath away, and he stood there to admire the stone reverently until Hemlockfox's quiet voice shook him from his thoughts.

He didn't dare speak in front of the Moonstone, he felt as if it would ruin the moment, but he nodded and limped closer. Paws trembling, he settled down in front of the stone and slowly, gingerly touched his nose to it. It was cold, but he held it there and closed his eyes. Now that he was able to get a brief rest, he realized how tired he was. He peeked one eye open to see where Hemlockfox had gone, but when he opened his eyes he was no longer in the cavern. Instead, he was on WindClan's moors at sunrise, dew sparkling on the long grasses surrounding the clearing he was sitting in. There was a rustling, and another cat came to join him. He was a male tortoiseshell with dull green eyes, a familiar WindClan frame, and--much to Cricketpaw's surprise--missing a hind leg. His pelt glittered with starlight like the sun reflecting off the dew, and he took a quiet moment to sit down facing Cricketpaw before he raised his gaze, offering the apprentice a gentle smile. "Welcome to StarClan, Cricketpaw," he mewed. "My name is Elmskip. I was a WindClan warrior many moons ago. It's been a long time since I ran the moors myself, but I've had my eye on you." Elmskip huffed through his nose, a sort of chuckle, and he uncurled his tail from around the spot where his hind leg would have been. "As you can see, we have a lot in common."

Cricketpaw beamed. "Wow...I've never met another cat like me, and you're a warrior!" His smile faltered, however, and he looked down at his own haunches, where a leg should be. "You understand, then...what it's like. No one else really does. They're all real nice about it, mostly, but...I know what they're thinking. I try not to let it get to me, y'know, but..." His nose scrunched as tears suddenly threatened to spill down his cheeks. "I-I'm sorry, I'm getting emotional-- I don't mean to cry--" Sniffling, he swiped at his face with a paw, embarrassed. He never cried, not in front of anyone at least. Cricketpaw flinched as a tail brushed against his shoulder, and when he looked up Elmskip was there next to him, his long tail curling around Cricketpaw's flank. "I do understand," Elmskip mewed solemnly. "It's okay to let your emotions out, I won't tell a soul. And, I'd like to say, I'm very proud of you, Cricketpaw. You have done more for yourself at your age than I ever did. Not that it's a contest, of course, but it was something I regretted in my life." Elmskip raised his head, staring off into the distance. "You are so strong, and that's very admirable. But being vulnerable doesn't equal weakness. You can't be expected to be strong all the time. Not even the greatest of leaders can do that. Let yourself feel, it's okay."

Cricketpaw looked down at his paws, shuffling them in the dirt as tears dripped from his face. "Thanks," he murmured as he hunched his shoulders. "I just feel like I'm not allowed to be vulnerable, y'know? Like, I'm already a, a burden...so I can't be emotionally weak too, 'cuz then what am I even good for? I have to do more than every cat else to prove I belong there... I see the way some of them look at me. Tigerstar, Sootstorm when he was alive, even Hemlockfox..."

"It hurts. I understand." Cricketpaw nodded as his shoulders began to shake, his body wracked with sobs. "I wish Cloudypetal were here, she was the only one that never looked at me like that...I miss her so much..." Elmskip closed his eyes, letting Cricketpaw cry as long as he needed to. When the apprentice's sobs were nothing more than little sniffles, he spoke again. "Cricketpaw, I need you to listen closely. Do not ever let someone else's opinion of you affect how you view yourself. You are a good cat. You devote yourself to others, you're kind and gentle, and you are strong both inside and out. That is what matters. Your disability does not define you." Blinking away the last of his tears, Cricketpaw looked up at Elmskip, a tiny smile returning to his face. "I'll try to remember that...Thank you. Really."

Elmskip gave him a soft smile in return and dipped his head. "Of course." He stood and limped back to his place in front of Cricketpaw, then touched his nose to the apprentice's forehead. "I think it is time for you to return. I look forward to watching you become a great warrior, Cricketpaw. Good luck." As his form began to fade along with the StarClan moors, Elmskip's eyes narrowed playfully. "And, one last thing: I don't want to see you here again for a long, long time. Go, Cricketpaw. Live." Cricketpaw grinned as the last of StarClan faded into blackness.

When he awoke, he was still smiling, even as his face was wet with tears.