we'll always have Paris (c)

Sleep was impossible. Ever since she assumed  the mantle of deputy, she had oft been so exhausted after a day of duties that the moment she got to her nest, she collapsed straight into sleep. Tonight was not that. Mind still awake, and though her body exhausted, sleep would not come. Her mind betrayed her in the moments she closed her eyes for more than a few heartbeats, and so she had resigned herself to watching the den. Or, rather, the soft slumbering shape that rested next to her. He looked peaceful as he slept. His face no longer kept in that space between neutrality or an always simmering irritation at something or another. She had gotten too used to the fleeting conversations between duties, or the tight-lipped ones when she managed to align schedules and get a patrol together.

She nudged him without thinking too much about it. Her snout gently pushing against his shoulder once. Then twice, with a little more effort. "Larkspring," She murmured. Quietly, so not to waken anyone else but loud enough to hopefully seep into his dreams. There was a kind of giddiness there. The last time she had woken him was out of desparation to chase away thoughts. Now it was just a need for time with him without the rest of the Clan on her shoulders. The middle of the night was perfect for that. Slip out of camp and into the territory, a star-speckled walk just like before. "Larkspring," She repeated, tipping her muzzle to his ear. Either she was just a light sleeper, or he was a heavy one. Or maybe a normal sleeper and she would wake to a leaf dropping.

Larkspring slept easy with Cindersky by his side. He noticed that Rookflight did not always sleep beside him, sometimes opting to be nearer to Willowwisp or Sunpool, which was…fine. It was more fine knowing that Larkspring still had someone to curl up against him ain their nests. So by the time Cindersky nudged him and murmured his name to wake him, he had been asleep, so it left him groggy as he blinked his eyes open.

“Mmm?” He lifted his head and yawned, maw going wide before it closed and he could focus on Cindersky again. “Mmm. What is it?” he asked, barely remembering to keep his voice low to not disturb anyone else around.

Cindersky grinned, a purr quickly erupting in her throat when his eyes blinked open. "Come with me," She whispered, leaning down to-- yet again-- nudge his shoulder. "For a walk. Please? Pretty please?" She had been enthusiastic about the idea before, but now that he had been woken and it was even more plausible, the excitement was practically bleeding into her voice.

"The weather is nice," She continued hushedly. "It is not raining, and it is not too warm. I think the stars are out, too-- And,-- and everyone else is asleep. I will not have to be deputy for a while. And we can... We can wander. And then be back before sunrise."

Larkspring blinked sleepily a couple of times and yawned again. She wanted to go for a walk? At this hour? Larkspring had to clear away the fog in his mind so he could fully wake up. There was a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest. Cindersky wanted to spend this time going on a walk with him.

He rose to his paws and stretched out his limbs. It helped the blood start flowing and melt the sleepiness that still ate at the edges of his mind. “Certainly. A late night walk sounds nice.” He’ll be tired in the morning, as he’s sure she will too, but a late night walk out together, alone, sounded very nice. “Lead the way and I will follow.”

Cindersky was up to her feet with a hushed, elated "Yes!", and was halfway out the maw of the den before she skidded to a halt and threw her head over her shoulder. "Sorry, I forgot you were only just awake." She stayed there, hopping on one front paw to the other until he was up and about to join her, and she was off like a shot again.

She did not need to slow down to look where she was going. Her paws fell into the well-trodden path to the riverside, following the marks of those left the evening past. Only when she could hear the rushing growing louder did she turn to look at him, a wide grin on her face that seemed to reminiscent of apprentice days gone by, and even those few days when she was ill and he was playing the role of grumpy caretaker.

"I admit, I didn't think of a single conversation point," She purred. It was loud enough to be heard even along the gap between them with her so far ahead. "I just wanted to be out here. With you. I did not-- Oh, I know! What do you think of Murkyriver's kits? Oh, even better, what do you think of kits in general? Milkkit is funny. I haven't met the others just yet. I do miss it when the clan was full of little kittens. Have you been talking to many other cats? I know we haven't been together as much. Any whispers? An--" She clamped her mouth shut, excited ramblings coming to an abrubt halt with the snap! of her jaw. "Sorry. One question at a time."

Cindersky’s energy and eagerness helped to wake Larkspring up further. He wasn’t sure why she was so excitable, especially at this late hour—but it was nice. Seeing her smile, her quick words, her purrs—especially after how downtrodden she had been for moons on end, it was nice. It woke Larkspring up better than a dunk in the river in leafbare.

His eyes softened in the low moonlight as he watched Cindersky all but prance around the river’s edge. He replied, “That is indeed many questions…I do not mind.” He would listen to Cindersky at any hour of the day; he would answer any question she pleased. “I have not really spoken with her kits. Kits often do not get along with me, so I tend to not get in their way.” He did not want to say more than that, not when she was so excited. He knew it was pathetic to not get along with kits of all creatures. “As for other cats—not particularly. You and Rookflight are still the ones I speak with most. I used to speak with Murkyriver from time to time, but she has been busy with her litter—but then again, you know I am not the most sociable of cats.”

His eyes squinted good-naturedly and he asked, “Just what has gotten you so up and about at this hour? Are the responsibilities of being deputy filling you with some unseen energy?”

It took every ounce of Cindersky's focus not to interrupt with yet another tangent. Was that the most she had gotten him to speak in one go in a while? As much as she took being deputy in her stride, this was what she missed the most. Doing the daily duties, and then having so much free-time as to put the Clan on the backfoot.

"You should invite her out sometime," She meowed, looking down at her paws just in time to avoid her sliding into the water. She side-stepped with a barely visible startle, and then forced herself to settle. Last she needed was to return to camp like a drowned mouse because she was not looking where she was going. "I think she might enjoy time away from the kits. Oh! I could offer to kitten-sit, and you could go do social things. I think that is a good idea. If-- If you want to, of course." Though she said it, and though she liked the idea of kit-sitting, she did feel as though it were better if they were both doing it.

She tilted her head at his next, rather befuddled sounding, remark. Unseen energy? Hm. She pursed her lips, as though retracing every step she had taken to try and figure out why she had so much. All paths led to one answer; "You." She was silent then, like she had forgotten how to use her voice. Eyes trained on him and her chest stuttered with a breath, both preparing to speak and speaking at the same time.

"W-Well, I-.. I couldn't sleep. Again. And I thought maybe,-- maybe you wouldn't mind a walk like before. And you said yes, and it made me so happy I... I must have let my excitement run ahead of me," She smiled sheepishly, a crooked little one with bright eyes scrunched up. "I like talking to you the most out of everyone."

It was such a simple answer. You. A single syllable, three letters, but it lit Larkspring inside like he had just been struck by a bolt of lightning from StarClan. It was visible on his face too, as much as he often tried to stonewall his reaction to things: the way his ears perked, his whiskers raised, and his pupils dilated. He felt a burst of glee in his chest. Cindersky was acting herself—happy and chatty and energetic—because of him. Larkspring felt like he could leap over the moon if given a chance.

Cindersky added a bit more context to what she meant, but it paled in comparison to that simple three-letter answer. It still made him feel warm inside and he replied quickly, “Me too. With you. You’re—You and Rook are the ones I enjoy talking to the most.” And with how Rookflight has been spending more and more time with Willowwisp and Sunpool lately….Cindersky was becoming the number one cat in his mind too.

“I would take a walk with you any time—any hour of the day,” he added. “You need only ask and I will be there.”

Cindersky couldn't help but grin at his expression, a stutter of a chuckle leaving her. She had never seen him look so shocked. That was something to add to the repertoire. Purring then, now shocked. She just had to get him to laugh next. Properly laugh, and she would be the happiest cat in the Clan-- No. The forest.

"Then," She purred, trotting back over to him-- Why was she so far anyways? She'd so much rather be closer-- only to increase her gait and give him a hefty head-butt to the chest. She held it for all but a moment and then pulled back, looking at him with scrunched-up eyes and an eternal grin. Her cheeks were starting to ache. "I will bother you every n-.. Not every night. A couple of nights. Some nights? Every third night. Or you can pick a night, actually. I will probably be awake. And we will go for a walk, or a swim. Or look at stars. And nobody will bother us, and it will be just us. Everyone else makes talking tiring. I don't think I've ever felt tired around you."

Her smile turned into something with a hint of an apology. Though she didn't say what, the cause was clear; rambling. And she knew she shouldn't even speak it into the air. He had just said that she could talk to him as much as she wanted.

"Come on," She mewed, taking a couple steps backward though never taking her eyes off of him. "Do you want to stargaze? Or swim? Your choice!"

Heat bloomed at Larkspring’s chest when Cindersky pressed her face into his chest. The closeness made it hard to breathe, but in a good way. It was overwhelming in the best way he could imagine. Her fur was soft against his and she smelled sweet like fresh newleaf blossoms. It made him dizzy like he’d just eaten catnip Pigeonpounce kept in the medicine den. And her smile—so beautiful and wide and happiness clearly evident where it had been missing for so many moons. He missed that smile. He missed that spark in her eyes. He missed the Cindersky that he had grown to know and lo-

Ah. It all clicked at once. His strange feelings that left him thinking he was ill; how much he wanted to spend time with Cindersky; how he pressed closer to her nest each night; the way that his mind drifted to her whenever they were apart. It was so painfully obvious. Lrkspring had just thought he was not a cat built for love, so he simply never realized.

He blinked at Cindersky and an idle smile settled on his face. She was speaking, and he followed her words, but he also felt like he was far away; over the moon, maybe, or swimming through the deepest waters. Somewhere warm and exciting and it made blood rush through his veins.

He watched her take a couple steps back and he moved a couple steps forward, trying to hold that closeness to them. His whiskers twitched with eagerness and his pupils were wide, overtaking the sour gold color. The answer was so clear, and his words came easily.

“I want to stay with you. Forever. Through whatever you want to do. I want-” He paused and moved forward, pressing his forehead to Cindersky’s with such force that he could have toppled them. A purr rumbled in his throat. “Just the two of us. I want you to be mine forever. If you’ll have me. Because you make me happy in a way I never could be before I met you, and—and I want that. I want to be by your side forever. In more ways than—than how I have been.”

Talking about it was difficult. Larkspring felt like he didn’t have the vocabulary. He hoped Cindersky knew what he meant. “I would wake up every night for you if you wanted me to, so long as I could stay at your side. And we can stargaze or swim or just sit together. So long as we are—are together.”

His words did not make sense to her, at first. That weighty word of 'Forever' that she had once given to him, now extended to her. She was about to laugh. Goodnaturedly, of course. And she had begun to say; "Of course you'll be--"

And then he was right in front of her. And her heart forgot to beat. She stared back into those golden eyes that she had found so much comfort in, stared at the reflection of her own in the widened, black pupils that had her trapped. Forever. Be his. Be mine. If you'll have him. If he'll have me. She had always, always thought it would be her and him against the world in so many senses, had the occasional consideration of it make her giddy so that she would have to do something else. She even remembered flashes of jealousy, so brief but so potent it had surprised even her, and--...

Her eyes were wet. And so was her muzzle, she then realised. And her throat felt like a ball was lodged deep within it, and when she blinked he was all blurry. She had forgotten to breathe, and when she took that inhale of breath it all came rushing in. Her heart thundered so fast she thought it would leap from her throught. Her breathing was stuttered, like the trembling in her legs that guickly moved to the rest of her body as far as the tips of her ears and whiskers. It was like cold, almost. Like a frost that everywhere it went was replaced by a pleasant warmth right after and--

"Mhm," If she said much more, she would probably sob. If she was not doing that already, she was almost certain she was. She nodded her head, tricky against how heavily his forehead leaned into hers. "For-... Forever, and-" Her voice was so shaky, any other day it would embarrass her. She scrunched up her eyes and snout and moved her forehead away, but kept them close, moving in to the fluff of his neck and resting her head right in the crook of it. "Forever. Until... Until death, and then into forever. And then forever after that," She took in a long draw of his scent. The one she knew she'd always be able to pick out amongst thousand others. That she'd follow amongst thousand others. "I love you. And I will love you for longer than forever could ever be."