undertow [C]

Little could capture Rookflight’s attention through the regrowth of their kithood haze--except the state of their friends. The recent deputy ceremony had done some work to break the stupor before it could grasp them fully. They were conscious of both Cindersky, whose grief was as fierce as theirs and who now had new responsibilities to uphold, and of Willowwisp. Of her, they’d been mindful of from the beginning. The mother she lost was of blood; in a way, Rookflight felt selfish for grieving as intensely as her. But they knew she was grateful just to have them and Sunpool by her side. But another matter concerned them as well. They’d seen her turned away from the celebrations at Cindersky’s ceremony. Upset wasn’t written on her face, but Rookflight knew her well enough to see it. It bothered them.

They asked Cindersky to assign them to a patrol together so they could talk. It was late in the afternoon when Rookflight and Willowwisp set out into the territory. Admittedly, it felt good to get out of camp and stretch their legs some. They’d been spending too much time wallowing as of late. Activity helped to keep the grief at bay. They walked in silence for a good while until Rookflight slowed his steps to walk shoulder-to-shoulder with Willowwisp rather than slightly ahead. He even allowed their shoulders to brush as he settled into step. ”Willowwisp,” he mewed gently, ”how are you feeling about Cindersky? I saw you were not very pleased at the ceremony.” His tail rose to gently tap against Willowwisp’s flank. ”I know things are… difficult right now. What I mean to ask is if you are alright.” Rookflight shook their head and looked away. ”I know that is a sorry question to ask. Few cats are alright right now. I hope you understand my meaning.”

Rookflight’s ears twitched. The sentiment that Cindersky was not the best choice for deputy… perhaps it was true, in a sense. There were many warriors her senior. The statement still left a curious feeling in them, even if it was nearly objective. It was stained with something that made their whiskers twitch, too. Rookflight let her finish speaking before nodding and returning his attention to Willowwisp. ”I know,” he said softly. ”It still hurts me as well. It is… it is unfair. StarClan has been harsh to us lately.” His tail did not quite lash, but it jerked to the side in a display of emotion that was becoming more frequent. Rookflight shook his head and went on, ”But… the pain will ebb with time. We will be there for each other in the meantime.”

When he retracted from her side (though he still remained close enough for their pelts to brush), Rookflight fixed Willowwisp a little more squarely under his gaze. For a few moments, he just looked at her, silently assessing his words before he spoke them. Then he said, ”Why do you think that of Cindersky?” His head tilted slightly to the side. ”You are free to speak your mind with me, Willowwisp. You do not have to spare my or her feelings because we are friends.” His tail brushed her flank again, the touch lingering a little longer this time. ”You do not have to hide yourself from me, either. It is okay to feel… I am not sure the word. But it is okay to feel.”