exactly what nobody wanted [S]

Pigeonpounce was used to strange dreams. She’d been having them for a while now; she’d close her eyes, expecting a normal night of sleep, and she’d wake up in those dank, foggy woods. It’d become something like a routine, even though she couldn’t call Starlingflare’s visits frequent. They came often enough that she didn’t feel surprised when the weightlessness of a dream became grounded, physical. Pigeonpounce could feel every stretch in her muscles as she shook her body out and slowly straightened out. Was she looking forward to a chance to speak with Starlingflare, or was she dreading his arrival out of the swirling mists? She could never tell. With a resigned sigh, Pigeonpounce finally blinked open her eyes and looked around.

She wasn’t in the-- ...she wasn’t where Starlingflare was supposed to be.

Pigeonpounce took a step back on instinct, as if she could escape her surroundings. Everything around her glittered, illumined by fallen stars, so bright she had to squint, and all the color in the world was washed with an overlay of dusky purple. She knew exactly where she was without having to think two beats on the subject, but-- StarClan? Never before had she been spontaneously called before their ancestors. She’d only spoken to them at her Moonstone. Worry crept into Pigeonpounce’s pads as she started to turn around. What had she done to attract StarClan’s attention? Had Mottlestar found the root of their conversation and decided to rip it from the earth? A shudder went through the small warrior.

She wasn’t left searching for long. Pigeonpounce made about one revolution before a figure, sitting with its back turned, caught her eye. The cat was small, about the same size as her--but, thankfully, the slight shade wasn’t Mottlestar’s. Far from the dark tortoiseshell pelt, this cat bore a coat of stark, clean white, save for the russet-burnt top of her head and ears; her tail, too, which revealed itself snaking through the grass. No familiarity leapt out at Pigeonpounce. Warily, she padded closer and called out, ”Hello?”

The cat turned around. She blinked at Pigeonpounce, looking her over in assessment, before turning away again. Pigeonpounce suddenly noticed the river, all dappled with stars, was flowing at the stranger’s paws. Was that there before…? There wasn’t much point in wondering. The whims of StarClan were infinite, she’d always heard. Feeling beckoned by the silence, Pigeonpounce crept forward to take a seat at the spirit’s side. The green eyes that studied her never left, and the shade took her time in bothering to speak. Only once Pigeonpounce was settled did she volunteer her voice.

”Hello,” came her simple greeting. She surveyed Pigeonpounce for a moment longer before turning her attention back toward the water. Pigeonpounce swallowed, paws shuffling nervously against the ground and stirring up loose stars. ”My name is Cloverheart. I’m sure you’ve heard my name, especially with recent events.” Indeed, Pigeonpounce knew the name. The medicine cat that SkyClan had slain… the one they’d gone to war for. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel in Cloverheart’s presence. All she felt was vaguely disquieted. At least Cloverheart didn’t seem to be waiting on any particular response from her, as she carried on rather swiftly while Pigeonpounce was still swallowing to gather herself.

”I’ve had contact with Dovesight, Sandyshell, and Wrensong… I would have liked to speak with Littlesplash one day. Before he joined the stars, I mean. I know there’s no point in meddling, considering I’m long dead… but I like to keep up with my Clan and the medicine cats that follow me.” Pigeonpounce blinked. Confusion hit her like a wave.

”Sorry? But-- but ‘M not--”

”I know.” A wave of Cloverheart’s tail silenced the sputtering protests. Pigeonpounce’s ears fell flat against her head like she’d been accused of something terrible. She wasn’t a medicine cat--she was a warrior! She was meant to be a warrior. Wasn’t she? It was what she’d spent moons training for. Pigeonpounce could feel her paws starting to itch like ants had gotten under them. Cloverheart just watched the river run lazily by, unbothered by the conflict of self turning within her companion. ”I know. You’re a proud young warrior, this is what your life is meant for, and so on. This isn’t news most warriors want to hear. But...” Cloverheart finally turned up again. There was something guarded in her searching eyes that Pigeonpounce could not see through. Her voice had picked up a similarly caged note when she continued speaking ”Whatever their reasons, you’re the one StarClan called forward to take Littlesplash’s place.”

It should have felt like the world fell out from under her paws. Pigeonpounce had spent her entire life training to be a warrior, hadn’t she? The unexpected announcement that that lifestyle was being ripped away from her should have given her pause. It didn’t, and that was perhaps more distressing than the alternative hysterics. All she felt was a quiet befuddlement. ”But...” she murmured. Her thoughts drifted through her training. She’d been driven to become a warrior--to be the best warrior she could be--but… had she ever really felt it? Pigeonpounce’s shoulders drew up tight. The thought of a real fight made her feel like a coward; she was a decent hunter, but only decent. She never thought she held much value as a warrior. But still-- still! She was a warrior. It was all she knew how to be.

Pigeonpounce’s face twisted up. Her spiritual companion was at least graceful enough to allow her quiet while she sorted through her thoughts. Away from her rise to warriorhood, her mind drifted to Scarletflare--a thought that quickly made her neck bristle. Pigeonpounce shooed him from her mind as quickly as she came. She didn’t want to wonder too hard about why he’d come to her attention. Although… she wished she let herself linger on him a little longer. Moving on from Scarletflare meant thinking about her father.

A small shiver went through her. ”I… I can’t.” She spoke up eventually. It troubled her mildly that she could’ve accepted the role otherwise, but… how was she meant to conduct herself with StarClan when she was visiting--? Pigeonpounce gave herself a hearty shake. ”’M sorry, b-but-- I can’t.”

The sympathy in Cloverheart’s eyes appeared genuine. ”I’m sorry, Pigeonpounce. I’m sure you don’t want to. But… if StarClan wants you to be RiverClan’s medicine cat, then you will be.”

Pigeonpounce swallowed tightly. Her mouth worked open and shut, but she couldn’t bring herself to protest any further. She couldn’t admit to her waking dreams with Starlingflare. She knew there was something wrong about them, but… she didn’t want to lose her connection to her father. She didn’t want to face punishment just for taking solace in her family. There were few other suitable protests she could give. After a minute of thought, she tried, ”Wh-whatta ‘bout Wrensong? Why can’t she jus’… take ‘er place back?”

Cloverheart shook her head in response. ”This is StarClan’s will. This path is for you; it’s Wrensong’s no longer.”

Slowly, Pigeonpounce shook her head. Her forelegs stretched out in front of her until she was laying fully on her belly with her paws dangling in the water. ”But… but whassat mean for me?”

”Well,” Cloverheart started, laying her tail gently against Pigeonpounce’s shoulder, ”you’ll move into the medicine den, for one thing.” She snorted, but Pigeonpounce didn’t have it in her to laugh back. ”You’ll start learning herbs… you can learn the basics from some of your Clanmates. I’m sure you can find help with the other Clans’ medicine cats, as well.” Pigeonpounce nodded weakly against the ground. She didn’t know the slightest thing about medicine… she couldn’t imagine having to learn them from several different half-mentors. Her stomach knotted, but she didn’t say anything. ”At every half-moon, you’ll make the journey to Highstones. It’s a time to convene with your fellow medicine cats, and with StarClan. You’ll be a guide for Poppyshine...”

”O-okay. I get it.” Did she? Too much information threatened to overload Pigeonpounce’s head, and all Cloverheart shared were the very basics of being a medicine cat. The idea of agreeing to the task made Pigeonpounce feel a little sickly. Her mouth opened, wanting to attempt another protest at least on principle, but when she looked up at Cloverheart again… her expression brooked no further argument. Pigeonpounce closed her mouth, teeth clicking, and dropped her chin back to the ground, eyes swinging to the river again. ”What… what happens now?” She asked weakly.

The gentle touch of Cloverheart’s tail vanished. The water coursing against her pads suddenly felt a lot chillier, and Pigeonpounce’s body felt heavy, like she might sink through the ground. ”Well… you wake up.” Cloverheart answered. Then Pigeonpounce recognized the feeling that tugged through her as the one that pulled her out of her Moonstone dream. For some reason, the realization made panic race through her, but she couldn’t fight against the chilly pull of wakefulness. ”Tell Poppyshine what I’ve told you. It’ll go just fine, I promise.” Pigeonpounce’s jaw fell open again--to argue or to beg for help, she wasn’t sure--but by the time she was able to squeak out a sound, she was waking with a start in the warrior’s den, bristling and grasping at moss.