The Ruy Lopez

(OOC:
I am gonna be so sad when perch has to go - she has taught spruce so so very much and he will remember her and her knowledge she left him. He will continue to be a good warrior for their clan and for poppy

- I thought it be only appropriate that he dive into the details of the most hypothetical of discussions of philosophy as many of their topics seemed to revolve around that.

Easter Eggs:
- When writing spruce topics I always try and remember to write out the full name of his clanmates - usually my other characters are informal enough to just go with the other cats prefix when speaking to them but obviosuly sprucebark would use their whole name when speaking to them as that seems to me to be the most formal for my fellow.

- The title of the topic is named after a chess opening - it is one of the most theoretical openings that exists being explored to incredible lengths of opening preparation - I choose it because in chess it is called 'book moves' or moves that have been theorized to be the best for the first opening stage of the game - Sprucebark would absolutely be a ruy lopez player since he loves his code and going by the book.

)

The weather was finally warming up and the awful things that had recently seemed to endlessly haunt their clan were taming finally. As the day was ending and the evening began with the sun setting lower and lower over the pines of the river. All in all things were finally looking up - now if only he could get his son to listen to directions half as well as he could then everything would be just as it should in the world Sprucebark thought as he inspected closely a blooming flower in camp - he found it pretty but not how most might. Instead of finding beauty in and of itself he rather liked the spiraling pattern the flower had the way it orderly seemed to epp and flow in on itself in a sequence of sorts some of the shells by the river seemed to spiral in similar ways which fascinated his mind. He blinked his busy logical mind always had to be set on something or he might go stir crazy - this was his break though - for most - looking at patterns of something like that would probably be mind numbing not relaxing but not for him. His eyes drifted seeing his leader he gave a purr and little wave of his tail formally. He gently picked the flower and brought it over to her - "good evening Perchstar" he meowed purring softly. A deep bow of his head out of respect for the leader of course as he sat by her side and dropped the flower to her paws - "I was studying it - the spirals it has - they match the shells of the beech" he tilted his head a little flicking his tail back and forth getting lost in his own mind of what all that could mean.

"Auntie Perchstar?" he asked almost dreamily his mind many miles away lost in thoughts

"How vast do you think Starclan is?" he asked in a hushed whisper looking to her.
He of course - did remember their previous lessons/discussions and all she had taught him and he distinctly remembered that they both agreed they could not always rely 100% on their ancestor clan to guide them - she at the time had seemed to also think that starclan was made more individualized by the members that it was made up of rather than one commanding voice of authority.

He had only gotten to go once - back on his moonstone trip as apprentice and that was so very long ago. He had tried to go once more with her to talk to Minksplash his sister who he wanted to speak with but he never got the chance - Starclan would not talk to warriors in that way. He was never bitter over it although initially saddened it did not last too long. "They made the clans of course- do you think they created the forest as a whole as well in the very beginning? He flicked his tail bobbing his head slightly side to side. "Of course, I know the ancient history of leopardclan and such - but I mean before them - back when just the stars shone above - how did they start starclan itself you think? he asked gazing upwards - as the sun lowered more and more the first of the stars were barely visible now and he stared upwards at them.

"hmm perhaps as you once taught me just as the world is not all black and white like I once thought there are some things we might not ever know" he whispered moreso to himself but loud enough she could hear as well.

His mind drifted back slowly to earth as his tail flickered a bit - ohh... right he was supposed to ask her something.  It was not a topic he loved to dealve into but his mate had shown concern over it and that was enough that he knew it was his duty to act upon that - Scorchlight and him were very good for one another. She was sweet and kind and helped keep him somewhat level and grounded. They balanced very well. Their recent adoption of Elmpaw had been a pawful to be certain however. And he found that he was still settling into the role of a dad and it had not been nearly as easy as he thought it should have been. It was not like he could go to section F of the warrior code for how to be a good father (Though if the code did have a section F he would know it memorized).

"erm uhh Scorchlight and I were talking and ermm-" he got all stiff and rigid sitting up straighter - this was very uncomfortable for him. He felt like he was smooshed between two rock by the river like he had gotten his paw wedged in trying to catch a salamander or something and now he was stuck between his leader and mate about some things.

His eyes blinked and he frowned a little thinking on overtime what to say exactly - he hadn't ever really ever been in a position to ever challenge a leaders decision and he hoped it wouldnt ever happen again.

"Erm well- we just thought maybe Elmpaw had a bit harsh of a sentencing and would have preferred to be talked to about it" he felt his heart thudding in his chest and he thought he might faint from nerves. "erm well of course I always support your decisions" he quickly meowed his face quickly turning down to look at his shuffling paws below him.

sighing he glanced at her
"I am trying my best to be his father - but it hasn't really been as I thought. He isn't really anything like me at all- and that is okay of course

I just dont know what I am doing with him sometimes he thought but left that unspoken

"I think he is just growing up is all... he meowed quietly

"Do you remember when Rowansong and I were younger?" he smiled once more thinking about it.
"Elmpaw is just ...more like Rowansong he groomed a paw over his head getting a little hair that had stuck up to lay back down.

"anyways... I just want to make sure that you are not judging Elmpaw hasher on the rules just because I follow the rule so closely... hopefully that makes sense"

he meowed dipping his head to her.

Evening fell gently over RiverClan camp. A warm newleaf breeze, leftover from the heat of the day, swept over the rapidly cooling sand and ruffled Perchstar's fur. While she dreaded nighttime and its dreams, she didn't mind so much the gradual change from day to darkness. A quiet, transient moment of stasis between her responsibilities and their consequences. She often took a minute or two to herself at this time to unwind, to sit and let her mind go over everything she had done today and would need to do tomorrow. But this evening as she took her last survey across camp, another cat approached her. Her nephew, Sprucebark. Debonair and friendly as always. The gray and white she-cat nodded her head in response. While she may not have returned his smile or purr, she welcomed his presence as a distraction from thoughts that might otherwise stray into unpleasant paths.

The flower at her paws... a beautiful one, with a swirling pattern. Kind of him, to give her such a gift. Quietly she decided to place it next to her other few keepsakes by her nest--the stone from Beetlepaw, the dried leaf from Tinypool, and the goose feathers from Poppyshine. She studied it for a moment herself, then raised her gaze to her nephew's when he spoke again. Sprucebark always asked such interesting questions. Perchstar was a logical thinker, not a philosopher who pondered existential queries, but... she didn't mind taking a break from the more realistic side of things to consider the theoretical. "As vast as the stars themselves, I suppose," she said neutrally. Light blue eyes trailed upwards to fix on the sky, seeing the lights that began to become visible in the darkening of orange to cobalt. "We can only see a fraction of it. I do not know whether the stars or the cats below came first. The beginning of all things, the end of all things... none of us can truly know how they would have looked. Perhaps when we die, we will unlock all of this knowledge. But while we live below the sky, we can do no more than wonder." It was almost comforting to think of the knowledge to be gained after her passing, rather than the pain she would leave behind or how awful it would be to miss all of the cats that she loved. She did not want to think about it at all, so the next tangent that Sprucebark brought up was as good a distraction as any.

It seemed he had returned to reality, coming back down from the stars as it were. Carefully Perchstar observed his stiffness. Was he about to ask something of her? After waiting patiently for a few moments, she listened to him. The uncharacteristic way that he stammered through the request would have almost amused her if it did not cast a brief shadow over her heart. Even her nephew... did he fear her, too? Did all of her Clanmates dread her punishments? Like when Rowansong, still so young, had kept the knowledge of his wrongdoing from her out of worry that she would retaliate against Stormdance. Well, thinking about that wouldn't change anything. As leader, it was a consequence of her position. She could never truly be on equal footing with her Clanmates. She filed the sting of disappointment away and focused instead on the actual question being asked. "I do not delight in admonishing any of my Clanmates, especially those who are young," Perchstar said, her voice neutral in tone rather than stern or unkind. Hopefully he would not think she was condescending in her explanation. "Elmpaw's punishment was only so harsh because of his mindset, not his actions. I hoped that in taking away the benefits of traveling the territory for a little while, he would lose his death-seeking tendencies. It was for his own safety. Since he attempted to undermine my authority, I did not exactly have time to counsel with you or Scorchlight, and I apologize for that. I just... want him to be safe. He cannot run around challenging fights he cannot win."

Her nephew's quiet vulnerability caused Perchstar to sit back slightly and regard him more closely. Stars... how old was she? How long ago had he been a small apprentice, afraid of weasels, and Rowansong a spitfire who could not follow instruction to save his life? Remembering those days felt like eons ago. Her problem as a parent was the exact opposite of Sprucebark's; her kits were far too much like her, in ways that she worried they would suffer from the same mental blocks she did. But since Elmpaw had been adopted, she supposed that they could not share any traits from blood. Not that that made him any less their child. "I think you do a very good job," she said quietly. "It is difficult and thankless to be a figure of responsibility. However, I can see a lot of potential in Elmpaw, despite his acting out. He simply has some learning to do." Her tail waved behind her. Briefly she remembered Larkpaw, and how he spent his entire apprenticeship thinking his leader hated him. It wouldn't do for Elmpaw to believe the same. She ought to remedy that soon. "In time, he will grow and become a great warrior. Just like you did, and your brother too. Even the most unruly apprentices can learn. And don't worry--when giving discipline, I do not consider any factors that would not be relevant. I would have given Elmpaw the same words of warning if he had been my own kit, or anyone else's. I simply... want him to find a better reason to fight for his Clan. And some common sense wouldn't hurt, either."

Sprucebark's stiff demeaner and worry that had briefly nagged at him were slowly subsided and ebbed away at from his leaders neutral toned but kind words - His ears flicked a little and he looked down at his paws as she thought he did a good job. He appreciated compliments greatly, especially coming from a cat he held in such high esteem as Auntie Perchstar.

In time, Elmpaw becoming a great warrior like himself and Rowan? That part caught his attention somewhat as well, it was comforting to know. Reflecting on it deeply, he supposed he always deep down knew that she thought of him well as a warrior but hearing the validation of it made him feel a wave of warmth.

Although generally very aware of how to be tactful and such, he was not aware that he had slightly stung at her of being so worried, he didnt realize his nerves made her feel like she was feared. If he had been aware of it he would have apologized greatly and reassured her the best he could. The truth of the matter was he could get that way with anyone of authority at times, it was more so a deep respect he had of her rather than any fear of her that she may have thought. Fortunate or unfortunate as it may be, he never would realize what she quietly worried about in his stumbling manor. Regardless of the matter, it did not change that deep down he knew his place was here and that they both had a deep respect for one another and a love of mentorship. Perhaps the closest way to describe was a mix between the love types of philia and storge.

Her explanation was logical, concrete and filled with the facts of the matter. He expected as such that it would be. In the past, he very much would have been on the exact same page as her, his logic side in his youth and younger days had been weighted heavier than his emotions back then, the logic side of him aided that his youthful self saw the world in much more polarized lenses of light and dark in many things.

However, Sprucebark now had slowly had a shift, his emotions spoke louder to him, the clean, crisp, factual case she laid out that would have been so easy to agree with before felt like a more twisted and knotted trail now. In part, he had many factors playing into it.  His mate Scorchlight made him one of the happiest he could ever be, but a large part of the entire reason he was standing here before his Auntie was due to his talk with Scorchlight earlier, her concern to him about not having a say or him not being aware of their son's behavior was heavily on his mind. He knew Perchstar's conclusion was the factually correct case to land upon, but things were so much more difficult now for him to accept it as such. He was not even sure what he wanted out of it anymore. Perhaps, just this was enough, just voicing what he had already would bring some amount of solace to it all. Hopefully she was right, that his son would one day become a great warrior just like him and Rowan, he knew he would!

He wanted to voice his mates concerns but didn't want it to come off like she had told him to go complain about things, because that was not what it was. She had valid reasons to be about this as well, he didn't really know how to handle this entirely, but he knew one thing as the absolute truth, Scorchlight and him were a team, she had carried him very hard though the lake journey, if it hadn't been for her then he wouldn't have been able to get through it all in the way that he did. Losing home and the history that he held dearly to was only manageable thanks to her. Surly his Aunt had to have known that? However, she had been very sick on that journey, perhaps she didn't realize how close they had become - in either case he felt like he understood the answer she gave but still found himself wrestling with the amount that he disliked hearing the answer of what it was.

He ... hadn't really ever felt this ever before, at all, in his entire life. He gave a silent slight frown and his ears perked once more at her words... hmm? yes, she would do this to any cat, even her own kit... that was true, justice should be blind and he did believe that she would indeed have done as such.  But, for the first time he felt like he wanted to be the special case that was able to let something slide. It was such an odd feeling to wash over him, a feeling of longing to have more control than he did.

His eyes blinked as he looked at his paws uneasily, he wasn't so sure he liked this feeling at all but at the same time he couldn't deny its existence, the feeling like he was somehow entitled to something more, nay - even owed something more.

He truly did try to fight this feeling and felt guilty for even allowing its existence however brief to have settled momentarily over his heart. However, even though he cast out the thoughts from his head he knew to be careful of that going forwards. He gave a slow nod once she was done speaking to agree with her at least outwardly, he wanted to show that he at least understood what she was saying.

He'd never been so at ends over what the code from the leader said before and he was a bit upset with himself even that it was something over something this trivial.  He took a deep breathe

Calm down... its only for a little while... and it is to keep elm safe after all of all the things, this seemed to help the most.


He gave her a long bit of silence as he pawed at the ground below him.

"I will be honest ... that was not the answer I had hoped to hear, but I do think it was the one I needed to hear" he eventually said.


He sat by her side exhaling slowly, the feeling was subsiding now which he was grateful for. "Auntie Perch? Perhaps you already know, but to reiterate, I do hold a deep amount of respect for you.

I love you as a mentor he thought to himself but didn't say aloud - love was such a hard word to say... he of course, did NOT mean romantically at all which was implied but saying such felt odd, he did wish there was more words to describe it instead of the umbrella term it was.

"I've learned a great amount from you, and I remember a lot of your lessons..." he sat a moment more in silence thinking...

"If I may ask?" he meowed dipping his head in his usual respectful way,
"In your time as leader and deputy, what have you found the best way is in resolving disagreements or conflict? he meowed barely above a whisper.

"Have you and mum ever had disagreements? How did you handle them? ... and ... d-... do you ever wish you could change anything about you and Birdstar?

he was asking to learn and to gain insight for his own knowledge to better himself but he fully realized this was dangerously close to overstepping his bounds by a fair bit. Sure, she was his informal mentor and he had already learned alot to mature from her... he just hoped to the stars above she understood he was asking from a place of wanting to learn. It wasn't asking just to ask... and deep deep in the back of his mind he wanted to know what to do if he ever felt what he just had felt earlier towards his mum if one day she should ever become leader.

He hoped, desperately that he wouldn't ever feel that feeling ever again. Not to Perchstar or his mum, but he couldn't deny what he had just felt and if he could not admit its existence aloud to Perchstar, perhaps he could at least begin preparations of how to combat it should it ever return.