In Our Veins [Crimsonflame]

Beechfang lifted her head to the cool breeze that drifted through the starlit forest, rustling the leaves and bringing a pleasant chill to the otherwise warm air. Sometimes it was nice to just walk in silence, to be alone with her thoughts. The stars had accepted her and it still felt strange, like she was waiting for the other foot to fall. It... Hadn't, though. The feeling of tranquility, or as much as she ever allowed herself to feel such, was certainly a strange one still. Slowly, hesitantly, Beechfang had grown to accept it. So much of her family had greeted her, so many of her loved ones... And more than a few cats she hadn't been so overjoyed to see either, but their presence simply did not bother her as once it might have.

She had earned this place in the afterlife, she wasn't going to squander it by fighting.

Crimsonflame had bided his time before he approached Beechfang. Waited for her to settle into StarClan. It was a place he had never expected even himself to find, not after everything that had happened. Even as a warrior of SkyClan, in his own mind, Crimsonflame had never shook himself of being Dawnhawk's son. But SkyClan had welcomed him. And then even the stars had given him a home.

But then he found the thorns on the rose. He was forced to watch as his Clan had fallen apart. And maybe part of him had blamed Beechfang for it. He just couldn't understand it, what had changed? In his life, he had fought to keep the Clan out of war, and he had thought that was a fight that Beechfang had understood. She had left willingly. So why had she returned? Why bring the plight onto SkyClan the way she had?

In the end, as he caught Beechfang on her own and padded after her, looking into her eyes, there was only one question he wanted to ask.

"Was it worth it?"

"...You." It had been long enough and their interactions few enough that she could not properly remember his name, but she knew the tom well enough by sight. Dawnhawk's kit, the one who had fought with them against the dark forest. Who Smokefeather had stood up for.

For a moment her ears slid back at his pointed question, a weary sigh escaping her. It wasn't something she hadn't asked herself repeatedly, to be fair, but hearing it did still irk Beechfang. Just a little.

"The time spent with the daughters I never had the chance to raise will always be worth it." She answered softly, "I regret what it led to, but not the chance I thought I'd never have." She mewed.

"You were... An apprentice when I left, weren't you? ...No. You earned your name. It's been a long time." What had it been... Crimsonflare... Crimsonflame? Yes, Crimsonflame.

Crimsonflame gave a noncommittal hum at Beechfang's response. "There was going to be regrets no matter what path you had chosen. I would be lying if I said I did not have my own fair share of regrets from when I had lived."

He relaxed slightly as he fell into step beside his aunt, letting them walk in silence before he spoke again. "I understand where you are coming from, by the way. To leave behind your family is the hardest decision a cat can make. I suppose, then, I cannot blame you for the decisions you had made. I may not agree with it, but it is easy to judge. And I cannot say in all honesty that if I had been walking where your paws had been, that I would have been strong enough to lead them down a different path. If it is truly a fight you believe to have been worth it, then I will stand by that."

Crimsonflame was not a cruel cat. And hearing Beechfang speak now, he learned something that he did not know when he approached her that day. Beechfang had not been fighting for herself. She never had been. This had been a battle for her family.

That had been a battle he, too, had chosen to partake in. When ShadowClan had killed his brother, he had not cared about the risks of the fight. He had been outnumbered, but he had still brought war to ShadowClan's doorstep. And he never once regretted it. In that sense, he and Beechfang was not quite so different after all.

At his aunt's question, he nodded his head. "Yes, I had earned my name. Crimsonflame. I had a son, too, Asterpaw. Although I had not been alive to see him earn his warrior name." Only one of the regrets he had spoken of. One of many.

"Show me a cat without regrets, and I will show you a cat who hasn't lived." Beechfang glanced at the tom, his answer not what she'd expected.

"It is difficult... You made that decision too, and far fewer cats wanted you to make that decision." She could remember the wails of her kits, remember Dovefrost and Bloodstrike's pain. Could remember too the fierce arguing and Smokefeather's sharp rebuke as she had stood up for the son of the very cat she had fought against before her death. "My mother was not right about many things... You were one of the few, I think." She said softly, gaze turning forward once more as they continued to walk.

Crimsonflame... Her guess had been correct, thankfully. That time period between the dark forest and her own exile had moved so quickly... "Not being around to see them earn their names, to see them go through each milestone... Yeah, that hurt. Most of them knew we still cared, though, even so." Perhaps not Trufflesnap... But the rest of her kits had known. "I never knew Astershine... It seemed he was loved, that's all anyone can ask for, isn't it?" She mused.

There was many things Crimsonflame could have pictured Beechfang saying to him. But what she did end up saying.... Crimsonflame felt warmth rising in his chest at the words, a smile brought to his lips. He had never admitted it, but he actually had cared about what his aunt thought about him. Despite the sharp words they used to share with each other in life, Beechfang had changed his life for the better. It was her that had taught him to be his own cat, to strive to live for himself, instead of being what others had wanted him to be.

Those words were the ones he had thought of when he had finally stood up against his father.

"...thank you, Beechfang. That... that means more to me than you can imagine."

There was an easy silence as they continued, before Beechfang spoke up again. He desperately hoped that what she said was right. "Yeah, he was. He was so loved." He let out a bit of a chuckle. "They're all strong cats. They're going to be just fine down there." He may not have known where Astershine's paws wandered now, but he was confident in his words. Just as he was confident in Wolfstar's capabilities.

Everything would be just fine.

Beechfang blinked at Crimsonflame's thanks. She... Had not expected it, but maybe they both truly had changed over time. She listened as the tom continued to speak.

"I hope so... The last thing the forest needs is more... " She had never been one to delude herself into thinking things were fine, life had squashed that notion when she had been very young. But maybe... Maybe there was hope for their clan yet. Beechfang shook her head. "Seeing my own kits in a position of leadership was a little horrifying, you know? But I'm proud of the peace they managed for so long... I have to hope Wolfstar will try to bring the clan to that again."